stories:
Table Manners
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Surprise Dinner PartiesNone of the planning, all of the fun |
There is no reader question this week. Instead, Helena has an etiquette announcement to make, based on her own discoveries.
A recent post on the Kitchn about spontaneous dinner parties has inspired me. As with surprise visits, your friends won’t hold you to the same high standards that they might if the event had been planned ahead of time. It’s OK if you don’t make the vinaigrette from scratch, and you can even serve leftovers. And when people accept last-minute invitations, you know they really want to come. They’re not showing up just because they RSVP’d “yes” six weeks ago, when the truth is they’d rather stay home and have some downtime.
However, a few rules apply even to spontaneous dinner parties.
Keep it manageable. Text an invite to a dozen friends. Chances are only a few of them will be able to make it. A larger group-invite creates too much unpredictability. What if your entire urban tribe shows up, expecting to be fed? Or what if you make a giant pot of jambalaya and only two friends make it—or worse, none? My ego just isn’t strong enough to withstand that. Better yet, pick up the phone. As I discovered last time I did some last-minute entertaining, phoning someone is the only way to ensure a speedy reply.
Choose “easy” guests. However much you love them, some of your friends are harder work than others, and may need the benefit of buffer guests. You won’t be able to carefully craft the invite list of a spontaneous dinner party to ensure buffers, so just invite the more socially adept in your crowd.
Give a fun reason. It’s more exciting if you give a reason for your surprise soiree. It can be food-related—maybe you spotted fresh corn at the farmers’ market. Or it could be the weather—like it’s warm enough to eat outside. We’re about to move, so I told my friends that this was our last chance to entertain in our old place.
Keep it simple—really simple. This doesn’t mean you should serve hot dogs. Make one dish from scratch, but pick something easy, like pasta with sausage and tomatoes; serve it with garlic bread and a green salad. Skip or buy dessert, or let your guests bring it if they offer.
Although the alpha entertainers among you may worry that such fare isn’t worthy of company, rest assured: Spontaneous gatherings are about appreciating the casual.
I'm not sure why this rates an entire column--this is merely common sense and there's probably not a chowhound alive who doesn't know this (or practice it).
This subject just maxed the needle on my Bland Meter.
For a change I have to support Helena. I've seen all kinds of variations on this going wrong. Friends unexpectedly inviting friends through texting, running out of food, people getting over involved in bringing a side dish, etc. Keep it simple really is the key.
I've had bad experiences with both planned dinner parties and informal, spontaneous get-togethers. I once invited 4 or 5 people to my home for dinner and was making a dish that was actually requested by one of the guests. Everyone flaked and I was left with a huge pot of a lamb-and-bean stew and no one to help me eat it.
As hariscruff implies, I'm actually amazed anyone in the modern world can do this. People are *always* already busy —or so tired of being busy they're not inclined to move on the spur of the moment. Or is that just me?
I love these types of dinner parties! Deciding to have some friends over for a bbq / bowl of pasta on saturday morning and watching your house fill up with your closest and dearest by about 5.00pm is just bliss!
We used to have neighbors who loved food like we did and would often get together for a last-minute dinner. Sometimes it was basically potluck, and was always great fun.
tatamagouche: I think it depends on where you live. In Toronto, there's no way I could plan anything so spontaneously: no one would have shown up without at least a week's notice, and preferably three or four. Here in Ottawa, though, I can plan something in the morning and have a decent turn out in the evening. Slower pace of life, more car culture (so easier to get around), etc. are probably contributing factors.