Pimp My Dive
CHOW’s ultimate product guide for furnishing your dive bar
By Lessley Anderson and Roxanne Webber
You’ve got your old building next to a vacant lot and the scoop on how to subvert your city’s antismoking laws. Now it’s time to get the place ready for business. Here’s where to find some of the stuff you’re going to want to furnish the joint with.
Prices vary
Your customers can take a safari adventure from their barstools.
Prices vary
If you have a Budweiser sign and you kill the B-U and the I-S-E-R, leaving the D-W-E, it looks just like the word dive. We think that’s genius.
$48.50
Darts can be fun, unless you get hit in the head.
$17.50
Leave these lights up year-round.
$73.99
Recommended by the owner of the venerable Hell’s Kitchen dive Rudy’s Bar & Grill as the best way to cook free dogs.
$1,699
Keep your customers entertained and they will stay longer.
$4,999
Most bars don’t allow loaded weapons. Let customers blow off some steam directed at the joystick.
$1.35 each
Every stale pretzel needs a home.
Prices vary
From cockfighting to Condoleezza Rice, everything is better on black velvet.
$2.99 each
Your patrons will appreciate that you’ve installed handles to make toilet-hovering easier.
$410
Cover up the stale beer and cigarette smell with a li’l blast of Opium for women.
$30.75 each
Candlelight flatters the most haggard of faces.
$27.71 per roll
Create a cozy atmosphere on the cheap.
Absolutely hilarious! I love it!
You forgot condom machines in the Men's room.
What no fishing paraphernalia.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvMemN...
Need a singing bass, NASCAR posters, foosball table and old Coke machine for beer.
Brilliant! I hate those cheater pints. A dive by (The Speedway) in Brookfield, Wis. takes cheater pints to the extreme. I swear there can't be more than 10 ozs in one of theirs. Rat bastards!
If you're paying $30 for one of those candles, you're paying WAY too much. Maybe that's how much it is for a case of 12 or 15... the local restaurant supply store has 'em for under $2 a piece.
hovering handles? LOL! you men get some crazy ideas! ;-)).
and my nephew has his wild boar and deer heads in the living room! (but he shot them himself). i intend to use a photo i made of one of those deer heads with a santa cap this year for christmas cards.
I have never seen a dive with shuffleboard. Have seen it in pretentious yuppie faux-British pubs, though.
C'mon, its all about foozball!
Also , if said dive is in Canada, hockey sticks (with blades sawn off) for railings and wall chair/divider rails.
If in Canada, howabout a stuffed beaver above the bar...?
Any dive south of the Mason Dixon Line is legally required by zoning ordinance to have a Confederate flag and an autographed photo of Dale Earnhardt prominently displayed.