stories:
Table Manners
 |
Kids Making DrinksIs it wrong to ask minors to mix martinis? |
There’s no question from readers this week. Instead, Helena will address a situation encountered during a recent social engagement.
The other night I went to a friend’s house for dinner. Sidecars were served beforehand, and they were delicious. This was particularly impressive since a five-year-old made them (with his dad’s help and supervision). The kid also had a “cocktail” of his own: water with a sugar lump in it. He was clearly thrilled at being allowed to hang out with the adults, and when he’s older, knowing how to make a signature cocktail will be a great skill to have. But is it a good idea to ask your kids to make and serve alcoholic drinks?
If you’re worried it will turn them into alcoholics later in life, know that there is no conclusive data on this. A variety of causes contribute to alcoholism, so it’s hard to isolate one factor—like, say, encouraging your kid to mix drinks.
In lieu of any overwhelming evidence, here are some things to consider. First off, do you want your kid serving anything at a party? Children will often do everything they can to curry favor with adults, and younger ones will be especially eager to fetch whatever you tell them to, whether it’s booze or Ritz crackers. It might be fun for them to help, but encouraging them to engage in conversation with the adults is important, too. Christie Mellor, author of Were You Raised by Wolves? Clues to the Mysteries of Adulthood, says: “So many kids don’t even look a grownup in the eye when they say hello. And when asked ‘How are you?’ a grunt is not an appropriate response.” Teaching kids to make small talk will serve them better than instructing them on how to make the perfect martini.
Another thing to consider is whether you would approve if your child took a sip of what he or she was fixing. Again, the jury’s out on whether letting kids drink a bit with the adults will save them from alcohol abuse later in life. Dr. Robert A. Zucker, director of the University of Michigan Addiction Research Center, says, “It’s simplistic to think that if you offer [your kids] alcohol … that will protect them, if there are a bunch of other nonprotective factors, like you don’t spend a lot of time with them or know who their friends are.”
At the very least, wait until your kid is physically big enough to have a drink without getting hammered. And if she’s not, or you’d rather she not drink, consider if she might get more out of helping with something she can sample. You wouldn’t ask a dieter to dish up profiteroles, or a vegan to pass around the beef carpaccio.
But will drink-making children develop a kind of Pavlovian response that serving adults alcohol will get them love and attention? I know it sounds far-fetched, but the question crossed my mind when I was at a wedding recently. A friend’s little girl kept bringing glasses of wine to some other guests and myself, even after we’d told her we wanted water, not wine. It made me uncomfortable, and I wondered if she hadn’t been encouraged to play bartender at one too many parties. There were no doubt lots of other reasons for her behavior, but I remembered it when later I attended the Sidecar party.
In any case, whether or not you allow children to mix cocktails, don’t drink too many in their presence. There’s arguably nothing more unsettling to a child than to see his parents drunk and out of control.
Most interesting column. Being the eldest of 4 children, my father taught me at an early age, at about 6 or 7, how to set the bar and to make his favorite drink (CC&7). Part of his reasoning was if I was tall enough to reach the liquor cabinet then I'm old enough for the job. I am grateful to this day for this educational experience because it amazes me how many people do not have a clue on how to set a bar for a party let alone mix a proper cocktail! Also tasting a drink to see if it's mixed properly is par for the course. Alcohol is an acquired taste and who better to know if something tastes good or bad than a kid? This is not to say we kids were encouraged to drink. In our household, drinking was simply not a big deal. I do find it curious only 1 sibling turned out to be an alcoholic, the rest of us are just fine.
At home, sure. In a bar/restaurant, no underage bartenders. It's just asking for trouble.
All I can think of is Joan Crawford telling Christina to fetch mummy a martini, darling.
I was mixing drinks for my father and his friends when I was 10 years old. I was also running down the street to the store during card games to pickup more (I would have a note and the shop owner would call the house). Later on in life I was tending bar for a living during college. In a supervised environment, I see nothing wrong with it.
Really, how about lighting the cigs or setting up the DVD for the adult rated movie? These are adult things, left to adults. Exposing kids to them is not only not right, but dangerous. If this kid decided, since he was tall enough to reach the liquor cabinet, to share this skill with his friends or have a few on his own, he has not only been given permission but practice. Can you say alcohol poisoning!!Leave the adult activities to adults, let the tender learn how to mix and pour at the right age.
By the way, we were allowed (??) to mix drinks for our alcoholic father and alcohol abusing friends and fetch beer from the store too. Out of 6, two to rehab, one active drinker/etoh abuser....not great odds.
I used to have to freshen my Dad's bourbon & water from the age of about 13 or so on up. It was about as much fun as fetching his sweater from upstairs. I've had my own kids pour me beers from my keggorator because they thought that was fun (for the first week, anyway).
Nowadays my kids deliver a lecture on the evils of alcohol along with the beer. It almost makes me want to get up off my butt and grab it myself. Almost.
I was drinking beer and mixed drinks from juice glasses at a young age. Heck, I even have a photo of me drinking from a beer can at my 2nd or 3rd birthday party. Anytime my parents had friends over, I got to sample from mom or dad's glass. My parents made it clear that these were the only times for me to drink, and that alcohol was not something to be abused. The point being, alcohol given with a certain context is not an evil substance. Lets not forget that 21 is an arbitrary number.
When I traveled through Europe, I was struck by how alcohol was a part of the culture there. I think the difference is that in Europe (and most peoples homes) they teach their children what the proper use of alcohol is. Unfortunately, like so many things with raising kids, it comes down to parental involvement.
This is sick, and those of you who think that Europeans do a better job than those of us in America, think again: Europe has a HUGE alcoholism problem, in both the youth and adult populations. Setting your kids up as bartenders is a very bad idea.
Mixing rye and cokes for Dad was a learning experience-
I learned about mixing drinks and religion.
A catholic was three fingers of rye-
A protestant was one finger of rye.
Dad mostly drank catholic rye and cokes.
@pika: well, my personal opinion is that "Europe" (which, let's not forget is a rather large continent, not a single country, with a number of VERY different nations) has been doing a better job than the US in more ways than I can count.
Yes, Russia & Britain are countries with serious alcohol issues, but do show me statistics or something about Spain, Italy, France, Greece, Turkey, etc. etc. etc.
Perhaps my having grown up in Yurp -- more precisely Germany, a country that considers beer a food, and now living in a college town here in the US where the drinking age is at a random 21, and where binge drinking and alcohol poisoning are THE number one activities on wkends might make me just a tad bit biased.
while I'm not sure I'd like a 5yr old to mix me a drink at a party -- mostly coz I'm not really interested in seeing 5 yr olds at an adult party -- i have no problem whatsoever with introducing children to alcohol. who better than your own family? my mother made sure to introduce me to alcohol at a relatively young age: new year's eve a sip of bubbly, the occasional glass of wine at the dinner table, etc. etc. if only to spare me getting date-raped at a later age because i can't handle the booze.
"At the very least, wait until your kid is physically big enough to have a drink without getting hammered. "
Really?
@ linguafood
I want to make sure I'm reading you correctly. Introducing kids to alcohol helps them avoid date rape? Wow. Way to blame the victim, for not being able to "handle the booze."
sigh. first, my apologies for posting this jewel of information a million times. it appears, however, that i'm not the only one experiencing this phenom.
as for you, manraysky -- i was merely quoting my mom's own explanation for this. i didn't intend to blame anyone in particular for rape, since this is more than OT.
@ linguafood My apologies for over-reacting. I admit the the idea rubs me that wrong way, but this isn't really the place for that discussion.
Kids shouldn't be allowed to make alcoholic drinks for the adults--and adults shouldn't be allowed to consume them whenever they're in the company of kids. For that matter, I think everyone would be better off if adults were to limit their own consumption of alcohol, period.
I speak from experience. My father suffered from liver problems due to his drinking, my sister was an alcoholic and my mother may have been an alcoholic as well. I recall when my mother was entertaining friends from out-of-town for my high school graduation. She could drink but I could not drink due to the drinking age (which was 18 at the time). She would not give up the alcohol because of my presence. To make a long post short--if there are kids, then no booze!!!
I don't see a problem in introducing kids to alcohol(a glass of wine occasionally, new years eve etc.)...my mom did this with me and by the time I got to high school/college I wasn't interested in going out and getting wasted all the time like most of my peers. I am not really interested in a 5 year old making my drink mainly because I'm also not interested in kids at adult parties. We have a warped view of "sins" in this country, for example I live in NC, where a new "sin tax" is going to be implemented for alcohol and tobacco...seriously? Gluttony is a sin too and we don't tax that.
The record's stuck, the record's stuck, the record's stuck, the record's stuck...
I don't see how teaching a kid how to mix drinks is a big deal. Not so sure about teaching them to DRINK at a young age. I'm inclined to not be in favor of it. I know there are different opinions. but that's not how I raised my son. He's 20 now, and appears not to like alcohol much at all, which if you're going to go to extremes, I'd rather that than the opposite.
For what it's worth, my dad was a serious alcoholic. My parents divorced when my sister was 5, and I was 2. My sister grew up with my dad, has her own family w/two kids now and drinks rarely, mostly wine.
I grew up with my mom, who was a social drinker but did not like to get drunk. I like to drink, my husband likes to drink, and on occasion, we even *gasp* like to get drunk. We do prefer our drinks to be mixed by adults, preferably professionals '-D
Teach kids responsibility and you teach them not to binge drink, teach kids to make drinks gives them a reason to create and offer them to others. How about just teaching responsibility including not having a five year old finish the old fashioned or drink out of a beer bottle or can...
Your children are going to encounter adult things (such as alcohol) at some point in their lives. In my opinion, it's better they come to that point having had some positive role modelling (or at least honest conversation) beforehand, rather than having had their parents pretend that drinking doesn't exist in hopes that they will-- what, be too scared to try it when they find out about it from their friends? Please. However! Showing your child responsible alcohol consumption is VERY different from growing up with a parent's alcohol addiction, whether they served drinks to them or not.
Kids like to sample, which brings me to a better point. Do you want the kid slurping on your guests' drinks.
The kid served the wine to my friends and me, not to my friends and myself.
If you treat social drinking as something forbidden and "adult", it just adds to the allure for kids. But allowing children to mix drinks for adults has its own set of potential problems too.
I, too, was reminded of that scene from "Mommie Dearest" noted above. I also thought of a recent episode of "Mad Men" where Suzie Draper is making drinks for the adults, with her father's directions. I was Suzie's age in 1963 (yes, I am that old) and although my parents were social drinkers, I was never invited or encouraged to make or serve drinks. Clean-up was, however, my chore, and I enjoyed a few gin-soaked olives as my personal reward for being a good "helper" after the party.
As children, my siblings and I were allowed the occasional (teeny) glass of "pink champagne" on special occasions, and although I enjoyed it (and am a responsible, social drinking adult) my younger sister tasted it once, didn't like it, and has never had wine, alcohol or beer since. Now in her (early) 50s,. she tells anyone who offers her an adult beverage "no thanks, I'm not an alcoholic". So, as you can see, that can go both ways. You should have seen the look on her face the day she saw my brother and I teaching her then-15-year-old son the proper way to open a bottle of wine ...... (a social skill he has mastered and thanked us for more than once, now that he is a mature 20-something adult).
I live in a small diplomatic enclave and it's not uncommon at all for children (middle-school-aged) to serve drinks at casual parties. I complimented one mother on her 13-year-old daughter's ability to open a wine bottle, and she said it was no surprise, the girl had been playing bartender for years. She also said that growing up with diplomat parents, she had learned how to pour drinks, serve appies, and generally socialize with adults.
Having taught in the US, where alcohol is "forbidden" and on the international circuit where it is what it is, no more,no less, I have to say that it seems like the international kids have a much more realistic and healthy view of drinking than I saw in the States.
Oh, please. If you stop and think about it, it's really nothing more than a simple science experiment, or a recipe. Mix x amount of y with q amount of d. And it doesn't involve flame. Why wouldn't you let your kids do it? And, just like with the chemistry set that admonished "don't ingest this," or the rides at the amusement park that say, "You must be THIS tall to ride," it's certainly easy enough to make a case to keep the kids from sampling the proceeds.
While the ingestion of alcohol is, by definition, necessary to develop alcoholism, the use of alcohol does not predict the development of alcoholism. It is estimated that 9% of the general population is pre disposed to alcoholism based on genetic factors. The quantity, frequency and regularity of alcohol consumption required to develop alcoholism varies greatly from person to person. In addition, although the biological mechanisms underpinning alcoholism are uncertain, some risk factors, including social environment, stress,emotional health, genetic predisposition, age, and gender have been identified. For example, those who consume alcohol at an early age, by age 16 or younger, are at a higher risk of alcohol dependence or abuse.
that was meant to be quoted, from a wikipedia entry. I tried to copy it from an A.A pamphlet but the doc. was not allowing me to.
All this said, if there is an alcoholic in your family than there should never be alcohol in your house. No amount of preparation you give your children can help them control their genetic pre-disposition to being an alcoholic.
I'm adapting the car so that the five year old can reach the peddles and see over the windshield. I am hoping that by exposing them early to driving, they won't see it as cool to speed. While I'm at it, I'm going to let my 10 year old have her boyfriend over to sleep with her, I don't want to raise her to think that sex is something to fear or to have her exposed to it in a few years and not act responsiblity. I'll have condoms available and will put her on the pill just in case. I'm also going to start to desensitize the younger one with peanut exposure, I know it might kill him but exposure is such a great teacher. Of course all of this will be supervised by an adult. This is just the start of my list mind you. I will be adding to it and let you all know the results of giving these youngsters "adult supervised" direction on these adult things works out. Just hope I can stay under the child protective radar........
oh cheeses. now you're just being ridiculous!
Cookiegoo has it right. Chronic excess consumption that results in repeated crimes, accidents and the ruin of families and careers is because of a genetic determinant. If this is in the family history, it is best to make alcohol a forbidden substance in the home and educate youth accordingly. For those not afflicted, gradual exposure and introduction to youth can occur contingent upon their demonstration of responsibility. Yes, there are huge alcohol problems in Europe but there are also hundreds of millions of Europeans who have consumed since childhood and carry themselves responsibly. Alcohol can be a condiment, a beverage or a drug. Its use or abuse is a matter of family medical awareness and age-appropriate introduction, if and when appropriate.
Wow, are people actually suggesting that adults never drink in the presence of kids?? Way to increase the allure - not to mention ruin every single family party. (I say this as a near teetotaller: I can count on one hand the drinks I've had in the past six months.)
Peanut, you help me make my case. Those warnings are there to protect, remind, keep people from doing things that are dangerous. Don't eat the results of the experiment, you are too short (young) to ride on this ride, you are not old enough to mix cocktails or to try alcohol. Our society has simlar rules about driving, marriage, entering the armed forces and voting. Some see them as arbitrary, I see them as a litmus test that as a society we have deemed necessary. Kids and alcohol do not mix, exposure to it early is risky and dangerous.
Chefpaulo, how will you know who is genetically wired to be an alcoholic, there are no markers for kids that label them predisposed to alcoholism. What if your little taste is given to someone who is "genetically determined"? Could you be starting the clock that much earlier. My dad, according to him, was alcoholic from his first drink. His parents, burned by abuse in their lives, abstained themselves but had it in the house. He started abusing alcohol the first time he drank. Isn't a little like gambling if you are only basing your exposure on whether or not they might eventually be alcohol abusers? Why take the chance at all, at least until they are at the age when reason may help?
As someone pointed out, kids are apt to sample. I think alcohol should be kept away from little kids, just because they could take it into their heads to drink some and could drink too much and poison themselves. It's just not worth the limited amount of fun they might have mixing drinks. And you really want someone who can't taste mixing your drinks? Buy them a chemistry set or let them cook.
Honestly, I have a hard time figuring out what you would say to a 5-year-old (the age mentioned in this story.) "This is a bottle of brandy, which tastes good in small amounts but will make you sick or kill you if you drink more? Go ahead; practice making drinks with it"? Why even get into that? If you do it and have no problems, that's nice, but it's hard to see how NOT doing it is going to cause any problems at all.
I am in favor of letting teenagers drink at home in controlled amounts, it's the kindergarteners in the liquor cabinet that I don't get.
My experience with this issue is "mixed age group" challenges. I have four kids, two old enough to legally drink; two far below the legal age. When it's just family at say dinner or a small family party I know my husband & I and the older kids are keeping the flow of wine under control and our younger kids understand that the "Shirley Temples" are for them and the wine for the older folks :) BUT, place a few extended family members or friends and their children in the mix, with a few of their own ideas about underage drinking and the challenge becomes "how come Sandy (8 years old) gets to taste her Mom's wine?" Now, I can more than handle the answer toot-sweet but I do wonder why Sandy's Mom is so casual about wine consumption with her 8 year old. I do wonder why some parents think it's cool to give their kids a case of beer for prom and I do wonder why parents would rather be their children's friends rather than their parents. Just my own thoughts. If I lived in a country with different rules about alcohol consumption and young people, I might feel differently but I was offered Shirley Temples as a kid and thought I was so grownup and so are my kids.
Kids actually making alcoholic drinks just wouldn't happen in my home until they were legal age to consume those drinks.
I was a bartender in a historic hotel at the age of 18 (yep...it's legal in 24 states to serve at age 18). Despite (or perhaps because of) alcoholism running in my family, I was never particularly tempted to drink. Alcohol had long been "demystified" for me. But I realize this is an entirely anecdotal statement.
Now I do epidemological research, and most recently, I worked on a 5 year longitudinal study examining 2,800+ college women's alcohol consumption and risk for victimization, and one of our findings was that women who reported growing up in homes where alcohol was more forbidden and less discussed (on a Likert scale) were significantly more likely to engage in binge drinking behaviors during their first 2 years of college, consumed more drinks per regular drinking occasion, and had more regular drinking occasions per week than those who reported growing up in homes where alcohol was more tolerated and more discussed. Furthermore, there was no correlation between age of first drink and future risky alcohol consumption (binge drinking, over 4 drinking occasions per week). I don't think our research definitively says 5 year olds should be mixing drinks, but it certainly indicates that, in general, approaching alcohol in a less stringent manner can help to reduce dangerous drinking behaviors when the children go off to college (which, by the way, is a far better predictor of alcohol consumption than turning 21).
In my experience, I have rarely encountered a child under two years of age who can mix a perfect martini.
What a great question to pose and what great information sharing on this topic. Right or wrong, who knows......opinions that vary, absoultely.....
@rosemary: interesting, if unsurprising research results. demystification! as i've said before, i had to move to a college town in the US to experience binge drinking at levels previously unknown to this genetically and, coming from europe, culturally predetermined alcoholic '-D
Hell no it isn't wrong. I remember watching the movie Auntie Mame when I was about six years old, and thought how cool it was little Patrick could make that bad-ass Martini for that mean old Mr Knickerbocker.
Ah Helena, you are the ultimate internet troll. But sure, I'll play along.
I don't intend to allow my young children to mix drinks any time soon. Or roll cigarettes, either. I don't want them to get the idea that it's OK to be touching such supplies without my supervision, even if the supplies are being used to mix products for people who are legally able to have them. 5 year olds aren't really able to understand that action X is OK for them to do in this situation and not in that situation.
If my kid wants to do science experiments, I get out the vinegar and baking soda and let him go to town.
I agree with mech-e. In a lot of cultures wine in particular is considered more as food. When I was growing up, my friends and I thought alcohol tasted vile and sampling some would be a punishment not a reward. I helped out at my parent's bar when I was underage and in those times it was not a big deal. I remember my 7th grade french teacher coming in for a manhattan and not being too thrilled with me serving it to him. I flunked that class but it was because I sucked at french, still do. I also liked what Rosemary Honey said. The forbidden fruit is all the more tempting. Also people who don't have kids are the surest about how they would handle any given situation with their hypothetical children.
:-D. Hypothetical children are the easiest to deal with!
But they are not there for you in retirement ; )
True. Neither's my 401 K, tho. I try not to think about the future too much, it ruins the fun. '-D
They are easier to marry out though and I have to say, toilet training was a snap!
My parents introduced me to alcohol when I was in middle school, a little wine on holidays or celebrations. Two nights before going away to college, my mother handed me a full glass of wine and told me to drink it because she said I should know how a serving of alcohol affected me now while I was safe at home. To the person who said that experience with alcohol is no protection against date rape, I politely beg to disagree; if you are on a date, get handed a drink and don't know what it feels like to have drunk alcohol before, you will be in over your head before you know it. Off that topic, after a few years of occasional drinking in adolescence, the allure of alcohol was absolutely gone for me, and I did not really drink at all in college until I was almost legal age anyway. (Of course, this varies by family background; if you have a gene for alcoholism, this might be a bit different . . .)
What is a five-year-old doing at an adult social gathering in the first place, for crying in Manhattan? What happened to adult socializing? Y'know, when little Dustin or little Chloe was playing or in bed or at the home of a trusted relative or neighbor while Mommy and Daddy enjoyed some adult company?
Of course,some gatherings -- like holiday festivities -- are for family and friends who might as well be such, and age brackets are mixed at those. If that is a case, if a youngster wants to help, let him serve snacks or set out napkins. I can see a teen, particularly an older one, mixing a drink with adult supervision at a mixed-age gathering, but in my opinion, there is something kind of creepy about having someone who is practically an infant mixing a martini.
By all means, let's keep alcohol a mysterious cachet-filled wonder box for kids to discover on their own, unsupervised. What is it with these kids nowdays? Why can't they stay out of my forbidden liquor cabinet of mystery?
Give a kid some liquor, and you get him drunk for a day. Teach a kid to mix cocktails, and he will get others drunk for a lifetime. And help pay for their own college tuition.
This is the way of thinking that I disagree most strongly with monkey. What about the kids who learns to make a drink and then does it for his friends or himself, without your supervision or permission. I'm in wonder when people think that they will give their child information an skills to share and then think that they won't.....
" What about the kids who learns to make a drink and then does it for his friends or himself, without your supervision or permission."
j, if given the opportunity, kids will be making drinks whether they've been properly instructed or not.
<Winces as she thinks back to her first drink at age 14. It was 3/4 vodka and 1/4 orange juice.>
I certainly didn't know how to properly make a drink, as I'd never been shown, but that didn't stop me, nor any of my friends. My friends and I got bombed whenever we could.
My best friend, however, rarely drank. Her mother introduced her to booze at a young age, and she didn't find it to be a big deal. To her, there was no sense of rebellion, nor a desire to act like an adult, as to her, booze wasn't solely an adult thing.
I don't have kids. If I ever do, I don't know which side of the fence I'll be on. All I know is that the one friend I had growing up who was able to drink with her parents' consent was the only one who really never did. Is that coincidental? Maybe, maybe not.
I've already made my point regarding how I handle underage drinking but I have yet to hear anyone just plainly state what the laws are in the US regarding underage drinking. Aren't we suppose to follow the law? Have you ever read the consequences for offering minors (be it your child or someone else's) in your home? In my state, you go to jail. What begins as a casual take on children mixing cocktails, can all too often, send a mix message to young people and adults.
If the law regarding underage drinking applies to your child, why not rely upon it? Why send the message to your children that they don't need to follow the law?
Hey Invino,
Not sure that I buy your logic. Yes, alcohol experimenting is a commone thing and I agree, people should demystify the use of it, along with cigarette smoking, drug use and speeding in cars. I only have a problem with supplying or exposing kids to these things as a way to take away the magic of it. Cigarette smoke will make an underage user ill, do we expose them to it? No, we say that it is a substance that can make you ill, can kill you. In my own case, drinking was OK, so was abusing alcohol and we all struggled with it in some form over our lives. We were not demystified because we got to finish the manhattan or eat the cherries out of the bottom. We did become suppliers for our friends, however. I think there must be better ways to let kids know about things like drinking rather than by offering them access to it.....
There's a time and place for everything, and a proper age to teach kids about birds and bees and liquor and stealing cigarettes and smoking behind the dumpster. If there were one answer that fit everyone, wouldn't parenting be simple?
Do what you think is best, but don't be surprised when your kids do the exact opposite. That's what being a kid is about. Learning the hard way.
In reading the commentaries and such, the only conclusion I've come to is that some need a drink, and some need to lay off the drink.
After reading these comments, I need a drink.
Can one of you kids mix daddy a highball? And go easy on the ice this time.
This seems a little on the side of "oooh look what little Johnny can do" type of entertainment at parties. Children entertaining at adult parties can be a bit tiring.
Nah, I don't want a kid mixing my drinks, but not because i'm huffing and blowing moral authority. To some degree I think we've all gotten a little over sensitive to some things. I can remember going to the corner store with a note for my father at a very young age to buy packs of cigarettes, and I hated them.
I was never involved in my parent's parties. I would have been in bed by then. But I do remember going downstairs the next morning and stealing all the cherries from the Tom Collins' glasses lol. (and eww). I was not allowed a taste of anything alcoholic until I was an older teenager.
This seems a little on the side of "oooh look what little Johnny can do" type of entertainment at parties. Children entertaining at adult parties can be a bit tiring.
Nah, I don't want a kid mixing my drinks, but not because i'm huffing and blowing moral authority. To some degree I think we've all gotten a little over sensitive to some things. I can remember going to the corner store with a note for my father at a very young age to buy packs of cigarettes, and I hated them.
I was never involved in my parent's parties. I would have been in bed by then. But I do remember going downstairs the next morning and stealing all the cherries from the Tom Collins' glasses lol. (and eww). I was not allowed a taste of anything alcoholic until I was an older teenager.
I don't have a problem with parents gradually introducing alcohol to their children. My mom would let us have occasional sips of her drinks, and when expensive wine was brought back from a trip to Europe, my brother and I were allowed to taste some of it with certain foods as a lesson on wine pairing. My mom does not drink very often because she just doesn't care to, and alcohol was infrequently in the house. Or if it was in the house, it lasted forever, because no one ever drank it. It gave me the message that drinking was no big deal to adults.
I do have a problem with kids mixing drinks. If you want kids to be at the party, let them be at the party. They're not caterers or servants. If you don't think your child can handle having conversations with adults, don't have them at your adult party. If it's a family or holiday gathering, it's likely other kids will be there. Let them go off and be with other kids. If they want to help, then let them do other things than mix drinks. It's likely they'll get bored and want to do something else later anyways.
Kids serving drinks just makes me uncomfortable in the same way that watching child beauty pageants makes me uncomfortable.
I think a lot of you are confusing the act of drinking and alcohol with over-indulging. Alcohol does not equal alcoholism. That's like saying no one should eat cheesecake in front of children because it could lead them to obesity - well, it could, but there are a lot of other factors that determine whether the kid will take it to an unhealthy extreme.
Allowing children to be around adults who drink responsibly is good role-modeling, and being able to make a few cocktails is a life skill that I would be happy to impart to my offspring. Sure, they can take a sip of wine, beer or a cocktail, and I can pretty much guarantee you that they won't like it. I didn't like wine at all until I was 20 - it's all in how you RAISE your kids.
I'd be darn proud to have a kid who could turn out a decent Sidecar. But alas, until I have kids of my own, I'll have to mix my classic cocktails myself.
>>Sure, they can take a sip of wine, beer or a cocktail, and I can pretty much guarantee you that they won't like it.>>
Don't be so sure. I've seen a lot of little kids get their hands on a beer and drink some with pleasure.
My aunts dranks sweet drinks such as gimlets and I (and my cousins) would swallow the dregs at an early age.
I guess the idea of how to introduce alcohol generally hits more of a nerve, but I agree with Caseynm - the bigger issue in this story to me is that a 5 year old is too young to have a job at a party. Let them play! They're 5!
Also touched on but backburnered in this thread -- whether the kid is mixing drinks is probably not as big of an issue as how they see adults handling alcohol consumption. Having a round of wine at dinner or a cocktail or two at a party is one thing; letting your kids watch you get drunk and stupid is quite another. If kids are watching adults get drunk and crazy, whether or not it turns them into alcoholics later in life, it's scary and confusing. If you're going to have a grownup party where people are getting drunk and silly that's fine, but the 5-year-olds should be in bed.
Just the question alone is a sorry slippery slope of stupid. Duh.