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Table Manners
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Tea Parties Must Make a ComebackEconomical, festive, and good for Sundays |
There is no reader question this week. Helena has an etiquette announcement to make, based on her own discoveries.
It seems increasingly difficult to throw a dinner or cocktail party. You invite people by email and half the guests don’t respond, or else the only slot they have available is six months hence. Rising food prices mean a hefty grocery bill. You embark on the cooking only to get a text from one of your guests informing you she is vegan, has a wheat allergy, and doesn’t eat mushrooms.
On a recent Saturday afternoon, I hit upon the perfect way to bypass all these difficulties: Why not invite people to tea?
Afternoon tea might seem stuffy and outmoded, summoning thoughts of doilies, frocks, and three-tiered cake stands. It might also seem like it’s only appropriate for special occasions like Mother’s Day and baby showers. But I believe that afternoon tea is on the cusp of a revival. It’s the perfect social occasion for the modern age.
Here’s why.
You can throw a tea party with less than 24 hours’ notice. While weekend evenings are usually booked well in advance, tea ideally happens during the afternoon, which is an often unclaimed piece of social real estate. And dinner parties are mostly limited to six or eight guests, but tea gives you a chance to catch up with a lot of friends at once. (A good rule of thumb is to only have as many people over as you have seats.) You can invite people you want to know better, and if they turn out to be boring you’re not trapped with them for the whole evening.
A few weeks ago, I started calling people at 5 p.m. on Saturday for a tea I was holding from 4 to 6 p.m. the following day. I made it a fixed time period, since I felt people might be reluctant to commit to an open-ended social event on short notice. Of the 15 friends I invited, only two couples couldn’t make it. Everyone responded to the invitation, most within a few hours.
Sunday afternoon is perfect, because it’s a time when many people fret about getting their laundry done or returning to work on Monday. Tea cheers them up. It combats the recession blues too. It’s no coincidence that in Britain (where I’m from) despite the global credit crunch tearooms say business is booming.
Tea is cheap, too. You don’t have to fork out for artisan cheeses or wine. All you need to do is make some scones, or perhaps some tea sandwiches. (Plain old cucumber is boring: Try apple and fennel or radish and sweet butter instead.)
You need not bake anything from scratch, but people are always disproportionately impressed when you do. If your scones are misshapen or your cake looks like a toddler did the frosting, so much the better: You don’t want a formal atmosphere, otherwise people may feel like they should be wearing hats and sipping with their pinkies crooked. Feel free to leave the crusts on your sandwiches and use mismatched mugs.
My one concern with the tea party I threw was the lack of alcohol. It’s a lot easier to relax at a party with a drink or two, and many of my guests didn’t know one another. I considered serving champagne (appropriate whatever the time of day) or sherry, but decided not to as I wanted to keep it a budget event. In the end, no one seemed to miss the booze. Some of the guests were battling hangovers from the previous evening, so they were more than happy not to drink.
People made short work of the scones and seemed to enjoy themselves. I certainly did. But since all the guests were sober, they didn’t linger for hours. By 7 p.m., everyone had gone, leaving me plenty of time to do my laundry.
Table Manners appears every Wednesday. Have a Table Manners question? Email Helena.
oh so true. tea is the way to go.
Afternoon tea? On a Sunday afternoon? During football season? I notice you didn't say how many of your 11 guests were men. Good luck with that.
This is the perfect solution I've been looking for!
Thanks for your reasoning!
What a charming idea. I have read about Christmas tea parties but what I am really enthused about is a Chocolate tea, complete with hot chocolate in an antique chocolate pot and all chocolate munchies. Oh! I almost forgot I was invited to a bridal shower in the form of a tea party. I couldn't make it but people were encouraged to dress in tea party garb. The hostess might have even dressed her dogs up a bit judging by the invitation and the requests to bring a snack for the doggies. He he! I'll bet it was fun. Plus sunday afternoons make me sleepy. I could use the caffeine.
That is brilliant! I should condisder doing this when I move into my new place, as an excuse to hang with my friends...
I love tea parties and have been to a few fun ones recently, but they were specifically all-girl parties. It's a great way to catch up with friends in a relaxed party atmosphere. Not sure how many guys would attend if invited...
citysweettooth sometimes dudes can surprise ya! I worked with a very popular lady who was having a baby. The girls had the standard chick only baby shower for her and some of the guys had wanted to come. When they were denied they rebelled by having a surprise baby shower for her husband (who they all knew from gatherings after work at the bar) with gifts and a cake. They did have beer though.
The only problem I can see with this is that a lot of people have no idea what a tea party is supposed to be like. Some might think they're going for the evening, and some will expect dinner and drinks, so you'd need to define your terms. I barely have an idea about what makes a tea party, and I'm really into food.
Great idea!
no alcohol... no thanks.
add that to the fact that Sunday's are grocery, kids activity day, and the day to catch up on everything not done while working all week, and this is impractical. Once done with these chores & activities Id rather play with my daughter, watch some sports on tv, fire up the smoker, or do yard work.
I love this idea! I did, however, try to throw a mid-afternoon-into early eve party one weekend a while back, for about 15 people, and was met with a lot of resistance. It was during summer and while not a "pool party", per se, our home is best enjoyed late afternoon into the evening, to enjoy our view and sunset etc
Most of our other, bigger parties have been evening ones.
Well, as so many people -- a majority -- said they couldn't come until later, I ended up shifting the start time to much later than I would have liked, I think, from 2pm till 5pm, from memory.
It was really irksome and puzzling.
So, I don't know how much success I will have throwing a tea party with this crowd (!) but I think I'll have a shot at it.
As for alcohol -- Prosecco is an inexpensive and fun & delicious alternative to Champagne. Also, easily avail at Trader Joes.
So, for this kind of invitation, when people ask what they can bring, I would say, "Nothing -- it's tea and homemade sandwiches and cakes, but if you'd like to bring some bubbly, by all means please do!"
Having re-read my own comment, I think Helena's suggestion of stipulating 4-6pm party zone might just work.
Tea parties have already come back to some extent in my circle for some of the reasons you gave, especially with the people with young children. Have to say I'm eager for them to go back out again - I'm ok with no booze, although I'm a drinker, but I don't want to travel from one borough to the next for tea and sweets - I want FOOD.
Oh, and I forgot to say - thank you, Helena, for writing a column on a topic of your own choice rather than answering a bad, inane reader question. Bravo! (brava?)
http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/20...
Over @ PW the tea party is called a Sip n See. Nothing wrong with creating a retro version of a tea party planned anyway you like.
I have people for tea all the time. Usually it is a day of invite, not a planned party. It takes no time to make little sandwiches, and mini muffins take about half an hour start to finish, although I have also frozen scones and popped them back int he oven for a few minutes to warm up.
I also have more elaborate teas complete with three-tiered pasty trays and my grandmother's silver, but the spur of the moment ones are the most fun.
This is my favourite post of yours to date. I was thinking about having a holdiay dinner party, but love the idea of a Sunday afternoon tea. Perfect excuse to break out grandma's china and drink cheap champagne!
Helena, please do more columns like this!
About the food question: smoked salmon sandwiches and a more substantial fare could be quite satisfying, and doesn't have to be expensive. When you serve salmon on its own where people can focus exclusively on its flavor, the quality really matters. If you're disguising it a bit in a sandwich, not only does it stretch it further because you'll fill tummies with cream cheese and bread, but the flavor nuances are to some extent lost so you can get away with cheaper salmon.
Smoked salmon and Pu Ehr tea would be great...
Similarly, if you make a country pate, the inputs are primarily ground pork and ground veal, not exactly bank-breaking protein. Sliced cornichon and slabs of country pate in pre-made sandwiches would be extremely filling, though I have a harder time thinking of a tea match that would go with the tart cornichon flavors.
Also, bacon isn't generally too expensive...and who could resist a tea & BLT party?
I love tea and tea time and it's not done nearly enough here in L.A. One of my favorite things to serve is Stilton on this raisin bread you can pick up at Diamond Bakery. That and ginger scones with clotted cream. Yum! On the savory side... radishes sliced and marinated to decorate open face sandwiches with a really fabulous butter are very pretty and tasty. I like the idea of Proseco but sherry is good too. So is a perfect cup of tea!
spm: So, please tell us how one goes about getting invited to tea time at your place, because all of that sounds utterly divine.
My husband LOVES afternoon tea. He makes cucumber sandwiches with his grandmother's MY-onnaise recipe (it's only mayonnaise if it's store-bought) and scones. Once we made petit-fours... dripping ganache over little squares of cake was a real mess, but they were tasty! We've done teas and also a "drinks and dessert" party, before or after dinner. Do your guy friends regularly pass up fresh baked goods? 'Cause mine don't...
Speaking of tea, when my husband and I travel abroad often we'll go to a swanky hotel's afternoon tea instead of out to dinner - aside from being tasty and a great break from sightseeing, it's cheaper, often no reservations needed (or they're easy to get), and you get to dress up and enjoy the ambiance of an uber-expensive hotel for a couple hours. (We usually stay in self-catering apts, so we don't have to eat out every meal.)
Some of my best childhood memories include afternoon tea !
Two years ago I had a Saturday afternoon tea with scones and tea sandwiches and it was indeed a big hit---two days after Thanksgiving, a mix of relatives and friends. This year I mixed it up a bit and did a Mexican hot chocolate party, served with a homemade Italian sweet bread, balanced by brie cheese and salami for the salt-inclined. It was a hit again, and easier than the tea, because the hot chocolate can be made in advance and kept warm on the stove (or in a chafing dish with a sauce pan inserted over warm water), serving as needed with a ladle. With the tea I recall being constantly busy making more pots of tea, since tea is best when fresh and people show up randomly.
I'm in college and for my lifestyle I think this is a wonderful idea. Personally, if I had a full, busy life with children to care for and a house and a busy job, I think I would appreciate not doing something at least one day of the week, and if it were to be any day, it would be Sunday . . . but still a good suggestion.
However, this really doesn't seem like much of an etiquette question.
I've been hosting tea parties for the past year, and can't recommend them enough. I like holding mine on Saturdays, since the caffeine from the tea makes early bedtimes impossible. I've done mini english trifles, smoked salmon and dill sandwiches, and apple slices with brie, truffle honey and candied walnuts at mine. Gotta love finger foods! Tea is definitely making a comeback with my friends. Good job Helena, I'm enjoying your advice columns a lot. Too bad about the Negative Nancies--they're not very polite at all.
Tea Parties are wonderful. Fancy or casual. Simple and elegant. In my life they have never been out of style. Maybe because the tea time from 1 to 3 p.m. makes the perfect 'event' for on-the-go moms who want to drop in to 'see and sip' and make some 'connections', stay for a while, and then get recharged and going on the rest of the day's schedule.
For those who go to the office during the week, I can see they may want more 'structured' teas on weekend afternoons. We just had a 'Valentine Tea' for the neighborhood Moms and Daughters before we went to the matinee of the Ballet. A big hit with everyone, young and old.
This might be fun but I think I'll have to wait till winter unless I act fast. In May it will be 90 degrees with lots of humidity and I it would be difficult to get people into the tea mood once that happens.
Hmm, maybe an iced tea party? Good tea with mint and lemon, some little sandwiches, croquet in the back yard...hmm. It will inevitably end up boozy though.