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Table Manners
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Bad Dinner, No TipIs it ever OK to stiff the waitstaff? |
Dear Helena,
I recently went to a (nice) Asian restaurant with my boyfriend. Our server was rather surly the whole time; when we said we just wanted waters he slammed two glasses in front of us. I finished most of my glass before realizing there was some unidentifiable schmutz hanging out in the bottom (our silverware was also filthy). My sushi was a ball of rice with a speck of salmon on top and my dumplings were massive dough balls with OK vegetables but foul-tasting pork; my boyfriend’s beef was inedible and his pork bun came out almost half an hour after everything else. When I told our waiter about a few of these faux pas, he laughed at us, which sealed my decision (even as a former waiter) not to tip on our $50 meal. He picked up my credit card slip before we made it out of the restaurant and began to berate us in front of the entire restaurant. Were we in the wrong here? —Faintly Nauseous
Dear Faintly Nauseous,
When you get bad service, you can’t always be sure it’s the server’s fault. If your burger takes 45 minutes to arrive, it could be because the server was too stoned to place your order, or because the kitchen is slammed. If he doesn’t bring the ketchup, it could be because he’s lazy, or because the place is understaffed. So unless the server has poured gravy in your lap and made a pass at your wife, you should always leave some kind of tip.
In your case, this may seem unfair. Although your server wasn’t responsible for cooking the food or washing the glasses, he could have managed a simple apology, instead of laughing in your face. But as Chowhounds have pointed out in their discussion of this issue, not tipping may hurt staff besides the server. If the restaurant is a “pooled house” (where servers share tips with runners, busboys, and other employees), when you don’t leave a tip, you’re punishing all the other staff members too.
In any case, when you don’t leave a tip, the gesture could be misinterpreted. Phoebe Damrosch, author of Service Included: Four-Star Secrets of an Eavesdropping Waiter and a former server at Per Se, says: “If you don’t tip, it’s easy for the waiter to rationalize that you’re cheap or European.” Or, says Janet Wesley∗, a server at Gary Danko, it could look like you’re “drunk and can’t handle the math.”
Because it doesn’t send a clear message, leaving no tip is emotionally unsatisfying. It’s just punishment for punishment’s sake. “Revenge doesn’t feel all that good in the long run,” says Damrosch. You’ll feel much better if you communicate clearly why you’re unhappy, and you may improve the restaurant.
When you get the check, tip 10 percent, and explain why. If you leave 10 percent, the server won’t think you’re a drunk, a jerk, or a cheapskate, and he or she will have to take you seriously. Says Damrosch: “If you leave 10 percent and make it clear you didn’t have a good time, they’ll think of you as a good citizen and feel badly.”
You can explain to the manager on the spot. But if the place is slammed, that might not be the best time to get his attention; and if you’ve had a bad dinner, you may just want to slink home for some Pepto-Bismol or a nightcap. Plus direct confrontation is not to everyone’s taste. Wesley confesses: “I don’t have the vocabulary or confidence to [criticize the service] in a nice way without sounding arrogant.”
Instead, email the restaurant the next day and air your grievances. This might seem like too much bother. But you may get a bonus: “If the restaurant is decent they may offer you something in the future,” Damrosch says. Of course, even if the restaurant offers you a free bottle of champagne, you may not be inclined to return. But your feedback could save others from suffering through a meal as bad as yours.
∗Her name has been changed at her request.
Table Manners appears every Wednesday. Have a Table Manners question? Email Helena.
RE: pooled tips. In this case, since both the service and the food were bad, I wouldn't feel guilty about hurting other staff members. Besides, maybe a little peer pressure would help those who are doing a bad job and thus hurting all of them to shape up. Also, if you've got cash, you can slip some to someone who did do a good job (a great busser who did more work than the waiter, for example). Even ten percent sound like someone is just cheap or can't do the math. Isn't a penny the standard "service was horrible" tip?
If a waiter slammed anything down on my table and laughed at me, I wouldn't tip 10%. The most they would get is one shiny penny. I work as a server, and I know how important tips are. Tips need to be earned, they aren't just given for the privilege of having a server. Sorry, no. Tipping any amount for terrible service is rewarding bad behavior.
If the tips are pooled, why would I be tipping anyone else for the crappy food and service? Even if the food was good and the service awful, in most states kitchen workers aren't legally entitled to tip pools. If there was a particularly helpful busser, I'd tip him directly. If the server has to tip out to other employees at the end of the night, maybe the fact that he'll be paying out of his own pocket due to my lack of tip would teach him to become a better server or find a new job.
In general it's best to leave a small tip and talk to the manager, but the idea is to start getting it fixed BEFORE it's time to tip. If you're too timid to say when you're being mistreated, you've no reason to complain at the end. There are no time machines where staff can go back and make your visit better retroactively.
Some kinds of restaurants, however, do not exactly have sympathetic managers. If you've ever tried to complain at dim sum, in one of the Brighton Beach Russian vodka houses or in a Korean barbecue restaurant, you know exactly what I'm talking about -- unless you are able to be frigid and imperious in the appropriate language, you stand absolutely zero chance of the message being passed by the manager to the server. When you see a fight happening in Cantonese between patrons and a manager, you can be sure it's pretty juicy and insulting -- "your chef isn't worthy to peel vegetables" is the least of it.
If I'd been berated in the restaurant I would have made my message ABUNDANTLY clear to the entire restaurant (since the volume level would have been turned up already). I've had some embarrassing rants in Chinese restaurants in the LA area, and it is basically one gigantic pissing match to see who can show more disdain for the other party. You can read my reviews of Mr. Swiss/Chongqing Restaurant or Ten Ten Anaheim to see what I mean.
I smell a rat. The writer states it was a nice Asian restaurant, yet received abominable service. My BS detector is clicking loudly, indicating that perhaps there was some embellishment in the telling of this story.
Furthermore, since the writer says she was a former server she should know perfectly well that not only was no tip deserved, but she should have demanded to see a manager had the events described be on the level.
Frankly, I think someone is pulling Helena's leg.
I live in a country where tipping isn't a matter of course. Tipping occurs when the experience and staff deserve the reward.
So Helena's response defies all sense of logic to me. I mean sure the reason why etiquette can be such a mystery to many is because it isn't always about the application of logic and common sense.
However, you go to a restaurant and the food is below par, the service rude, the cutlery and glasses grotty but you tip 10% just to prove to the staff at the restaurant that you can do the math?
What does a patron on the receiving end of a bad dining experience have to prove to anyone at the establishment? While from what I understand tipping is necessary to make up for fairly average wages, does that mean that the wait-staff who is unpleasant and unhelpful is entitled to a tip for not doing their job?
It strikes me that rewarding service that isn't even striving for mediocrity only ensures that future patrons of the restaurant will have to suffer through similar bad service.
In this case I it sounds like the patron had already been stiffed by the wait-staff and didn't need to tip nor explain themselves as I think the lack of tip should have spoken volumes. And when the wait-staff attempts to shame you into tipping that's when you get management involved.
Actually, why don't restaurants do away with the unstated rule of mandatory tipping and charge an automatic service fee of the patron - rather like corkage fees?
This way if the patron thinks the service, food and experience was good, great, superb etc they are free to tip accordingly.
I feel one of the better solutions to this situation would be to ask to speak with a manager immediately. If my dinner was that atrocious and the service equally deplorable, I would like my chance to speak with the floor manager. If it was impossible to speak with the manager at that moment, I'm not sure what kind of tip I would have left, but the restaurant would definitely be emailed the following morning.
I am surprised that a "nice" Asian restaurant would serve inedible and/or disproportionately tiny food; that being said, you can't always be sure it's the server's fault your food came out badly, unless, of course, it is the kind of place with heat lamps and your server let your food die in the window.
I'm a server, but I don't think stiffing the waiter was inappropriate here. He sounds like a complete jerk, and regardless of whether tipping is customary, a tip is still something that needs to be earned. Since working in the service industry, I've become a lot more intolerant of rudeness when I go out to eat. While the quality and condition of the food wasn't your server's fault, the way that he treated with you and dealt with your complaint was something completely under his control. Particularly at higher end restaurants, servers don't have difficult jobs. While we might have to put up with a lot, it's not that difficult to do it graciously and with a smile, and I have absolutely no patience for those who can't even fake it.
If a decent wage can't be mandated, how about Separate tipping jars - one for the kitchen staff and one for the wait staff.
Maybe some competition will improve the experience and give some clues to management about what customers really think.
As a former server, I know that most chain restaurants will charge each waiter 4-5% of total sales. That goes to busboys, cooks, dishwashers, etc. I will never completely stiff a waiter in one of these places - however bad the service is, I don't think anyone should have to pay to serve me dinner. I'll ask the manager what the tip pool charge is, and that's what I'll tip.
Cardinal sins to me are 1) not doing a dinner check 2-3 minutes after the entree has been dropped off. (how can you fix a problem if you don't bother to find out things are?), and 2) disappearing for 20-30 minutes after I've finished my entree. I hate staring at an empty plate and waiting for my coffee.
I just don't believe the story. I think Helena is making things up, you can generally tell when she does. After all, her good advice is usually cockroached from the General Chowhounding topics.
Lousy service, awful food, well gee, here's 10%! Is that some sort of kinky S&M dining, where you pay extra to be treated like crap.
"ooh, baby, my flatware and water glass are filthy, the food is gross, and the waiter just laughed in my face-I'm so turned ON!"
First, waiters should be paid properly, and should be trained right. Waiting tables is an art that is sadly given too low a status in the US. If we regarded them more highly and demanded they be artisans, as in other parts of the world, they would take pride and do a good job. This means paying them a decent wage.
Second, if we paid and respected good waiters right, then they wouldn't NEED tips to just get by. IN that case, a tip would be what it was supposed to be, a reward for going above and beyond. This should go for all people who do similar service, such as bartenders and such.
It seems ludicrous and backwards that at least a 10% tip is expected, no matter what. Because it IS ludicrous. Somehow, we have allowed this whole tipping thing to skew way out of control. Making staff share tips is even crazier. I didn't tip the chef, I wanted my tip to go to my amazing waiter. The chef should also be paid properly, as the busboys and other staff.
And personally, no, I will not tip for absolutely lousy service. Then I try to explain to the manager why. THEN I write a letter to the owner, also explaining why. If service is bad, somehow, something broke down in the chain of command-either the owner doesn't care, the manager doesn't care or the server doesn't care. By not tipping, I show I do not agree with the lackluster product( service, whatever.)
Now, I have to balance this by saying when I do receive great service, I tip exorbitantly. I tip in direct proportion to the service, really. I gave the waiter who ran down to CVS to get me benadryl after I accidentally consumed nuts a huge tip, as well as the other wiater who put herself out one evening because I was sick, alone, and dining to try and feel good somehow. The waiter who treated us like Gold on our first anniversary as well.
The waiter who told me he didn't consider peanut oil a nut, and therefore it was MY fault I was going into anaphylaxis after he had assured me the food had "no peanuts, nuts or nut oils in it" and served me a heaping plate of seafood fried in peanut oil and THEN informed my husband I was a whiney bitch and "faking it" when I began to wheeze, THEN brought out the check with the food on the bill while we were tying to rush out to get my epi, well, he got zilch. He deserved me socking him in the googlies, but I was otherwise indisposed.
The one who spilled hot soup all over my new dress, then demanded I let him pay for the meal, the dry cleaning, and the extra dessert he brought us got a VERY big tip.
I think that it's preposterous to expect a tip after you've treated someone with complete and utter disrespect. Let's not forget that the tip is To Insure Prompt service. If service is neither prompt nor courteous and the food is inedible and the cutlery dirty well then the only tip I would leave is the number for the health department.
I'm so sick of hearing how difficult it is to be a server, look around, it's difficult to be a human these days. I have gotten great service in roadside ditch restaurants in Laos and horrific service in Chelsea. The only difference is my server in Laos would NOT accept more than a nominal tip and the actor masquarading as waitstaff in Chelsea expected a tip commensurate with his pouting ability.
Exactly how does tipping nothing come across as not being able to do the math? It seems to me that, while a ten percent tip could be taken to have been poorly calculated, tipping nothing proves you're pretty capable of figuring out what zero percent of the bill is.
It also seems as if leaving nothing is less likely to come across as cheap than leaving ten percent.
Maybe the same can't be said for everyone, but it's pretty damned easy for me to tell when someone is European (or, at least, white and not American). If you're American, unless you don't speak a single word to the server, I can't see you being in danger of being mistaken for European.
I've never come across service bad enough to deserve no tip at all, but, in the situation described by Faintly Nauseous, no tip was deserved. I doubt I even would have stayed to the completion of the meal.
As to the other staff members that you may be punishing by not leaving a tip, it sounds like they all did a crappy job in the example given. When this is not the case, maybe they need to talk to the server, or even the management. To be cliche about it, a chain is as strong as its weakest link. I'm not going to tip on a bad experience. Saying you should tip when the service is bad because the busboy deserves a tip is a bit like saying that even if the car salesman treats you like crap, you should buy the car so the welder in Detroit who did a great job isn't laid off.
I agree, for the most part, that the bad service should be brought up early in the meal. That is generally the best approach. But, honestly, a lot of the time, it's only going to make my night worse to get into it with the manager. It's not my responsibility to tell him his server sucks; it's his responsibility to hire good waitstaff.
Maybe Helena has enough disposable income to piss away a 10% tip on bad food and bad service. I have to make my money count, however, which means I wouldn't tip anything for the experience described here.
I tip 15-20% for exceptional service, because the service is so important to the experience. If the food itself was bad but the waiter was terrific, I would have left a normal tip. But this guy was a jerk. and I should tip him in order to have leverage to help correct his bad behavior? That makes ZERO sense. It's easier to take my business elsewhere, to a place that will appreciate it.
As a former waitron I know how important tips are and how bad service is never rewarded. If I was rude, unhelpful and didn't check on my customer's orders then I wouldn't expect a tip. If however I did my job and went beyond what was expected from me then I'd expect one.
The server in this story is totally in the wrong but the writer really should have spoken to the manager about it. There is the chance that nothing would be done about it, but at least you've brought this to their attention.
I remember when this has worked for me, I've gotten a sincere appology from the manager, and other times that it was practically ignored and the manager practically said, "I really don't care". The former I've returned to, the latter I've stayed away from.
So a 10% tip isn't mandatory especially if he's not doing his job.
Helena, the message one sends by leaving no tip is clear as day. Bad at math? Drunk? Whatever. Also, I don't know about you, but I don't leave a zero tip to leave a message. I leave a zero tip when service is so bad that it should not be rewarded at all. The purpose is not revenge or the satisfaction of sending some kind of message (what kind of person thinks like that?). The purpose is to not give my money to someone who doesn't deserve it.
If a waiter stiffs me on the service, I stiff them on the tip. I think it is only fair.
I, too, wouldn't dream of leaving a tip for such appalling service. What I would have done instead, though, is to - in pen - write on the credit card payment slip and again on the bill itself a stern note with the waiter's name detailing exactly why I left no tip, and where it says "TIP" I would write "See back" to draw attention to my note. Then not only would the waiter be aware of his or her shortcomings, but face well-deserved embarrassment by anyone else who would have to see them. (Whether anyone else would or not, I'm not sure. I don't know how all that paper gets moved around in the food industry.)
leave a quarter. its large enough to be noticeable,not something the customer would have left behind by accident, and lets the waitron know that a "real" tip wasn't simply forgotten.
The writer said the restaurant was nice in parentheses - I took that to mean that although he didn't agree, but it was considered a more upscale place. And, no, I do NOT think he should have tipped that arrogant member of the waitstaff, even if tips were pooled. Tipping is still voluntary in this country - there is no legal mandate to leave one. When the waiter gets pissy because you don't want to buy a drink and slams your "free" water down on the table in disdain, he's lost most of the tip right then. The bad food only accentuated how not "nice" the restaurant was. His laughing was the kicker - and his chasing them out the door to complain - well, that just proved he didn't deserve it. It isn't a entitlement - it's a bonus!
The only message that you are sending by leaving 10% in that situation is that you are a pushover, and that the server can treat customers however he wants without any real consequences. It's not your job to teach a restaurant staff how to run their business, if you don't like the service, don't tip, and if you don't like the food, don't come back. They'll either improve, or the other restaurants in town will be happy to take their business.
Plus, the main thing that Helena is missing is that the waiter embarassed them in front of the entire place for not leaving a tip, so he clearly knew that they didn't leave one for a reason.
Kudos to Diana for the best response I've ever seen!! I hope she charged the person who deliberately lied to them about the peanut oil with battery (if not worse). Girl - you have it right!! And, when lawmakers start realizing that waitstaff are just as deserving of at least a minimum wage as anyone else, I'll be happier about tipping. I shouldn't be supplementing the employer's salaries - I should be enhancing it!! In NJ, waitstaff hourly wage is currently where it was when I waitressed in 1980!! THAT'S a crime!!!
this story is completely made up.
Gee, dahlia. You sound so sure. Why don't you tell us how you know this. I mean, it's not like you are saying you only THINK it's made up. You're stating it as fact. So....how do you know that?
If a person that doesn't like being a waiter takes a job as a waiter and does a deliberate snotty, mean job of taking my order and bringing my food without any attitude on my part (and I don't, because I know being a waiter is a hard job and I cut a waitron in a busy restaurant a lot of slack) hell no I won't leave a tip. That waiter can think whatever the hell they want about my math abilities or alcohol habits, because they're going to come up with some excuse or other as to why I was such a turd and didn't leave a tip. People like that never see themselves as the cause of their bad karma. I'm always polite to the waitstaff and expect the same in return. I've only stiffed a waiter once in my long life, and he was so disdainful it was humiliating. He even followed us out to the car and shouted "Thanks for the tip!" we replied 'Thanks for the service!' and called the manager when we got home. The manager made a bunch of excuses for his behavior, i thanked him for the audience, and we never went back. No problem.
Wow!!
Wonderful responses and insights. I read every one and came away with one distinct feeling: I AM WAY TOO GENEROUS A TIPPER!!
It does seem like tipping has come to be expected by all service industry folk in the U.S. when in fact it isnt even Mandatory! That beings said, I tip all the time, even when the service is not fit to be called S-E-R-V-I-C-E. I usually leave way less in such cases. But in general I am a very generous tipper(18-25%) most times.
Restaurants need to pay closer attention to the folks they hire for waitstaff because nothing leaves a bad taste in your mouth like BAD SERVICE. The Food could be Top Notch,The Ambience remarkable and the Wine superb, but if the Service is Bad, thats all the diner will remember, I guarantee it. Chefs/restauranteurs need to stress Better Service across the board.
Kudo's to 'danieljdwyer' and 'Diana' for very interesting stories and observations. The comments on this board will long outlive the actual article by Helena.
Kudo's all around.
I LOVE CHOW.
Yes your waiter may or may not be able to control your food.
But they can certainly handle how you are treated when you complain.
If a server laughed at my complaint that would be an automatic 1 cent tip. I was a server for 3 years in college and i do not remember ever laughing at someone.
bad service = no tip.
I was the first one to call shenanigans on this story. The writer says she was a former server, yet she asks if she should have tipped someone who displayed such egregious behavior?
I mean,come on already.
Am I the only one that's annoyed by the people posting just to say the story is fake? Who cares? Write to the editor, complain. Even if the question is fabricated, it's still an opportunity to discuss the subject and learn things. Quit the whining, detectives.
I've done my time as a waiter, too (I'm a musician, it goes with the territory). And, I've had nights where I've worked my fanny off and food has still come out late because the kitchen is slow, or I've been triple-sat, etc. Because of that, I always leave a tip, even if food is delayed--as long as the server is trying hard, and is being as pleasant and attentive as s/he can be under the circumstances.
BUT, in this instance? Where the waiter laughs at complaints, and acts like a general jerk? Forget it! I would never expect to be tipped in this circumstance, and if I ever had dressed a diner down for not tipping me? You can bet the manager would have sent me home. Who on earth allows employees to behave like that without stepping in?
Yeah. Don't tip and don't go back. Life's too short, and there are too many restaurants.
No whining here. I just call a troll a troll. This story is just so outrageous that I don't believe it, and I think a lot of people are buying into it.
However, if one is really interested in a thoughtful discussion, why post something that lacks credibility? To me, it smacks of someone who's looking for attention via the internet. Bring up common service issues, such as bringing the wrong food, delayed service, rude servers, being ignored, etc. Not to mention is the server incompetent or overwhelmed? How much leeway should we give them? It could go on forever.
And then we have the additional "who should be blamed, the kitchen or the server?" disagreements.
I'm sorry I offended you, but I'm offended by people who try to BS me. No need to be rude to me as I wasn't to you. If you want to buy into this sob story, by all means, have at it, but don't riducule those of us who don't.
Have a nice day
Since I was the one that wrote in with the question originally, I figured I'd weigh in on a few things. This happened last summer (which was when I wrote into Helena originally) and the restaurant was Lilly's Noodle Shop on 3rd between 84th and 85th.
To doubters like KaimukiMan and dahlia, I can wholly assure you all that this did happen (in fact, even my boyfriend remembered it when I showed him the article last night). Plainly speaking, the place settings weren't clean, the meat didn't taste right, and the waiter was an ass. Was this a sob story? Not at all. It was a crappy dining experience. We all have them, and most of us when we do have them question whether or not a tip is appropriate when the check comes.
As a former server, I struggle with not tipping. I've only done it once before that incident and haven't done it since. I know how hard it is to pay rent and bills when your salary is determined by the people you serve. I know what it's like to be trying 110% to make your customers' experiences happy so that they'll go for that 20%. I've been there. It sucks. Even more than getting some bad sushi and beef. I hated the service and the fact that the waiter called me a b**ch in front of the entire restaurant as we were leaving sealed the deal, but my Jewish guilt still kicked in. No one (at least no one here) wants to be That Guy. That's why I took my crisis of faith (as it were) to Helena. And I really love both her answer and the discussion this prompted. Had it just been a bad server but good food and a clean table, I would have considered differently at the time, but it was the overall experience that left me, well, Faintly Nauseous. And I found it rather enlightening that some schools believe that I should still offer some tip regardless of how awful the service is.
In regards to Marcia's call out on the "nice" factor, Das Ubergeek spoke to it very well. I wasn't going to get through to a staff of mostly native Chinese. You can see what happened when I brought my concerns up to the waiter about our glasses/forks being dirty and the meat not tasting fresh. However, Lilly's isn't a hole-in-the-wall Chinese joint that you go to for a little masochism to go with your General Tso's. When the bill for one pork bun, a salmon roll, some dumplings, and a small order of sesame beef comes out to $50, I'd say that ought to be nice. Is it Nobu or Mr. Chow's? No. But there's still a level of service to be expected.
(For the record, we had a really great post-dinner-dinner at the Papaya King on 86th and 3rd. Now THAT is good skit that I'll tip for any day of the week.)
As a server, typically I am more forgiving than most diners because I understand that many other factors may be at hand, BUT there is never an excuse for rudeness. I don't care if you are having a bad day - check your attitude at the door. If service is slow, that might not be the server's fault - it could be the kitchen or maybe the restaurant is understaffed. And the food is never the servers fault.....but rude servers don't deserve a tip. I work way too hard for my money to give it to a server who treats me poorly.
The story sounds a little concocted to me too. Probably just to get a rise out of us and look how well it worked :)
Nevertheless...if the server is rude or inept to that degree, I leave a dollar. Yes I realize that is a little bitchy and I have only done it 4 times in my 50 years but I feel it was the right choice every time. I do not feel like I should have to interrupt my dinner to explain to the server or the manager or anyone else how to do their job, especially, if, as in this case, it seems like it wouldn't matter anyway. I will leave a dollar (or maybe a quarter) to leave my message that I did NOT forget the tip but that I made a choice to practically stiff you.. I might follow up with a letter to the manager or I might just never go there again and spread the word. If the food was bad but the waiter apologetic and acknowedges the problem, I will tip the waiter cash. No one should be rewarded for bad service/food. I understand that tips are often pooled but that is a labor issue not a tipping issue. I am obligated to pay for the food if I ordered it (unless it is dangerously inedible) but I am not obligated to tip anyone.
I don't patronize restaurants that add the tip onto my bill. And to add fuel to the fire here, I don't tip baristas at Starbucks either. (Even before I knew that the shift managers took a cut). I tip to reward very good service not to help the restaurants bottom line.
"In regards to Marcia's call out on the "nice" factor,"
I believe the only reference I made to nice was, "have a nice day" Nothing more so I think you have me confused with another poster.
Anyway, I still don't understand. Well, I understand, but frankly, you know perfectly well behavior such as you described doesn't deserve further compensation. Despite your protest of your "jewish guilt" I can't believe you actually had to ask for validation.
But it's a new week, a new story, and time for me to move on.
Helena had yet to do a column on stiffing the waitstaff, so it was as good a time as any to bring it up.
Some of us just want to do the right thing.
My standard procedure on anything less than a 15% tip is to leave a note. Nothing wordy, just a few (2-5) words on the bottom of the credit card slip. I figure if I'm going to 'send a message' I want it to be clear.
I'd love to hear what the waitstaff in this discussion think of this idea.
I was a waiter for many years. I knew when I gave service that was not up to my usual high standard (not feeling well, etc.). On the few occasions that happened, I would've understood why I received a less than normal tip. Luckily, my customers were always very generous, and I never really recieved any low tips. My point here is that any fairly adept waiter knows when he hasn't performed well, and most likely won't be surprised if the greatest tip isn't left.
HOWEVER, if a waiter is completely rude to your face, he probably doesn't care much about his job, and I say eff him! I'd leave a note along with a paltry tip, if any. (Former) waiters really hate seeing bad waiters rewarded- they make everyone in the industry look bad!
I agree with cordybrown on all the points mentioned. I have found that even a very sucessfully resolved complaint can disrupt the relaxation I seek when I choose to dine out. I don't always feel like donning my battle armor when I just wanted a mellow experience. Maybe I'm just a wimp, but I don't want to always have to consider all the implications of everything when I just want food and drink. I generally don't do the tip jar thing at ice cream palors, coffee places, and bakeries. And if I get bad vibes for not tossing my change into the tip jar I just don't go back. So I have stopped patronizing my local starbucks and also a bakery that I really liked. But the internet does give me hope. We can pass on info about our good and bad expeiences to others. I love my chowhound.
As the majority of commenters here, I also worked as a waitress for many years. I have seldom 'stiffed' any waitstaff, BUT, in the case of an experience as bad as this, I wouldn't hesitate for a moment to leave no tip. The people who suggested that this is wrong are obviously clueless. If they want to reward bad food and even worse service, I can't stop them, but I would never do that. I am an extremely generous tipper when the service is good. I tend to patronise the same handful of restaurants in this area, and the staff are usually very glad to see me. However, I do expect the same level of service even when dining in a 'new' place. If I am willing to spend, on average, $50 per person or more for dinner, then the service must match the prices. I don't blame the staff if the food isn't all it should be, but I do expect them to convey my complaints to the kitchen and/or the management. Bottom line....very bad service, NO tip.
I think it is good practice to address the situation right away. Either get up and leave the place at the first sign of trouble,like when water was requested and glasses slammed OR at the first sign of trouble leave the table, walk to the host stand, and ask to speak with the manager. Explain your expectations and describe what has happened so far. In my experience these tactics are very effective.
http://phillymarketcafe.blogspot.com
As a restaurant manager who reads comments on this site a lot, I can only implore you folks to PLEASE PLEASE under ANY circumstance bring it to a manager's attention.
There is commentary here on my restaurant from guests who were ignored or otherwise mistreated and nobody in management was able to intervene, because they were not aware of the situation. This is no excuse, as we should be aware of all things at all times. However, we all know that we can at best strive for perfection and merely achieve excellence.
Good managers will know that they must impress 4 fold for every transgression just to get the guest to where they were when they walked in the door. A creative manager will come up with a solution that will leave all parties satisfied.
Thanks folks for patronizing our establishments. We can't make magic happen without you!
As a former restaurant manager, cook, waiter and busboy, I have known some staff that should have never received a tip. I do believe we all should tip not only the wait staff but also the cook when they deserve it.
I also believe that when the food or service are just plain bad the best thing is to speak to the manager and explain why you are not leaving a tip. This is the only way to rid the place of unworthy employees.
The first thing I do when entering a new restaurant, is take a good long smell, If there is any indication the place is not clean, I leave. I have been in some very nice restaurants that you can easily tell if they are using filthy mops and filthy rags to clean the place. If so, I bet all the other sanitation standards are also by passed. If your tableware has finger prints on them, you can bet the same person putting dirty dishes in one end of the washer is the same person taking the clean ones out and without washing hands. Always check the tableware before you order. This could save you from a bad meal. (Beware the large stake houses.)
When you avoid bad restaurants, you have less time worrying about the TIP.
Those whom have receive bad service might want to try this. It has worked for me on a couple of occasions.
Request to speak to the general manager or owner immediately, before paying the bill. Then, succinctly and calmly explain the problem. Also make it quite clear that you are paying the entire bill, with the tip. Explain that it would be quite unfair to penalize the rest of the staff because of the actions of one person. Also make it clear that you will be returning, with the understanding that this problem will be resolved and that it will never happen again. That's fair enough.
You will be amazed at how people react to this. And if they don’t, and you encounter the same or similar problems on your return visit, then it’s time for plan “B.” Plan “B” is simply, stiff’em! Not the bill, just the tip. Not paying the bill would be just plain dishonest, not to mention unethical. If, however, the restaurant were a part of a national chain, rest assured I’d be burning up the keyboard the next day sending e-mails to the national headquarters, with “CC’s” to the CEO and whom ever else I could find an e-mail address for.
If the place is a real dump, I might be inclined to drop a dime on them with the Board of Health. Chances are, if the management and wait staff is that poor, then the kitchen is probably beyond belief. Just tell the BOH that you saw Ratatouille working a pan of Dim Sum. That will get somebody’s attention. :-D
My experience has always been that waiters of waitresses that check the credit card slip immediately (before the customer has left the building) have reason to believe that they will not receive a good tip.
Watch this next time you are at a good restaurant. If it is obvious that the people at a table near you are not happy with their service, pay attention to how fast their server checks the tip after they leave. Then watch for the same at tables where there are no complaints.
No service. No tip.
Sometimes it can be hard to tell whether it's the service or the kitchen that's at fault. That being said, the server does control their own attitude. Timid or not, stand up for yourself and ask to speak to the manager. Explain the problem, if the food is really terrible, don't eat it! If the manager does not offer to comp an uneaten meal, be sure to let them know that you will not be returning and you will not recommend the establishment to others. Pay the bill and leave a tip. If the service is the issue, leave a small tip; if it's the food leave a good tip.
On the other side of that coin, ask to speak to the manager if you get exceptional service. I was in a restaurant one time and my Mom received a dish that was so salty it was inedible. We spoke to the server who immediately offered to replace the dish and did so quickly and with a great attitude. I made sure I spoke with the manager about her professionalism, we left her a big tip.
I think tipping should be more case specific.
But as a whole I always tip at a restaurant, and I don't travel much so I research most places before going there. I wouldn't set foot in a place with such rude service, I can't believe that place is actually still in business. But if I has service that rude I would have complained but still left a 15% tip because that's what I expect to give no matter what happens. But I would have made the management aware of the situation with a call back, or on the spot. I would also tell my friends not to eat there. I wouldn't allow my displeasure to make me angry enough not to tip because the act of not tipping would likely make my night even more stressful by not doing something that I believe in doing for services rendered, be it bad service or good service.
If management decided to comp my meal I would still leave a tip but hopefully the manager would have addressed the server and taken care of his attitude and ineptitude.
I was at a Dennys in Seattle a few months ago and received absolutely terrible service. The waitress took our order rather impatiently and rolled her eyes when we asked for water refills.
When my friends and I left I wrote her a little note on a napkin that simply said You were mean.
I've always felt written words are much more effective than voices for complaints.
With words there are no escalating emotions and no fights.. the words are what they are.
Perhaps the waiter in the original post was aspiring to be one of those waiters that is so rude, patrons come from near and far to witness the rudeness? The one I know of around here was in a Chinese restaurant. They have to get started somewhere....
To add my 2 cents worth: no tip, and leave a note or talk to the manager. And let Chowhounds know about the experience.
I have certain expectations from a server. (O.K., I am anal about service.) While I expect better service at an upscale place than I do at Olive Garden here some minimum standards. My tip is based on that service. The usual tip is 20%, but I have left more or less. (Yes, I have left none on occasion.) If I leave significantly less, I ask to speak to the manager AFTER I have paid the tab, (so he or she doesn't think I am just looking for a free meal) and politely explain the low tip. Only on one occasion has the manager made excuses for the poor service.
I will also leave a better tip if the service is above and beyond. I will then tell the manager in that case, as well.
My pet peeves:
"Keep you salad fork for the entre." (Not just limited to lower end joints.)
"Who had the chicken breast?" (Especially when there are just two of us.)
Not following up to see if things are satisfactory.
Tipping has gotten totally out of hand on both ends. Restaurants use this to pay low wages and wait staff depend on them to pay their bills. That is NOT what a tip should be!
My mom worked at the old truck stop restaurants when I was growing up. She was paid min wage and in some cases even more. She taught me that tips were the "gravy" of the job - give good service and get a tip. Not this 20% BS or you must leave a tip BS that it has become now.
A tip should not depend on the total of the bill. It should depend on the service level. Just because I ordered the steaks and the next table ordered the chicken should not matter. After all, the work involved carrying the plates are the same. However, the number of people at the table getting served should always be taken into consideration.
If the service is excellent you should leave $5 per person. If it is regular then $3 and if it is poor ZERO! Families should leave $15 for excellent service.
Regular service is established as: getting your menus on time, getting your drinks on time, getting at least one refill, getting your meals on time, the server coming back at least once.
Excellent service is established as: a server doing above the normal such as coming back over and over, refilling your glass when half empty, bringing all items out as ordered, etc. This type of service always commands more money!
Wow, cajunbelle, I imagine servers duck and hide when you enter the building. The maximum tip a 'family' should leave is $15.00???? Wow. I imagine this is what your family taught you many years ago, and you still take it as gospel 20 years or more later. This is really bad. It is also why some ethnic groups are not welcomed with open arms at many restaurants. I only mention ethnic groups because I have heard this exact same things from many of my black friends. I haven't been able to change their minds, so I doubt I will change yours. When I go out with them, I always leave the tip, and they always ridicule me for leaving 'way too much'. As I said previously, I have worked as a waitress, and know exactly how much work is involved in providing 'great' service, especially to large groups of people. Leaving $15.00 on a $150.00+ check, especially when the waitperson has run his or her A** off, bringing extra napkins, straws, plates, etc. etc. etc. is just a huge insult. That being said, truly bad service does not deserve ANY tip. Ever.
fibrolady - I must say that this is not a black or white or ethnic issue... the issue is companies (restaurants) have been allowed to pay it's employees sub standard pay and it's own customers have been made to pay the bill and pay the employee's salary. I don't buy that any longer!
I have been in the work force since I was 12, starting out as a dishwasher for a local restaurant. I learned the value of the dollar way back when and never assumed a customer would leave me a tip - that is what I get a pay check for. My tip was for doing above my job and I appreciated every dollar I made that way. Then some where along the line wait people were made to look to the customer to make up for the lousy paycheck they received from their employers. Imagine if every job looked to their own customers to add to their employees' paychecks.
And I have never figured out what the size of the check has to do with the size of the tip? I eat a salad, main meal and a dessert and my bill comes to $200. The table next to me eats a salad, main meal and a dessert and their bill comes to $125. Why the difference in tip? Is a steak for $50 harder to carry than a trout dinner for $25? Is serving me a glass of wine for $6 more of a job than refilling my bottomless tea glass for $3? Once glass of wine @ $6 = $1.20 tip but refilling my $3 tea glass 4 times only merits a 60 cent tip?
I stand by the rule that the tips should be based on the people and service, never the bill!
cajunbelle:
"I stand by the rule that the tips should be based on the people and service, never the bill! "
That's great, maybe you can write the IRS and get that rule applied to server's minimum wages, so they don't have to pay taxes on tips they never receive from people who believe as you do.
Ok...this is funny, yet you guys take this so ..seriously...I mean all I had to do is half-ass scan these comments, and get the overall feeling that due to our economy at the moment, that "god forbid if a waiter laughed at me because of my accusation", that you'd rather screw the server as well as the rest of the restaurant over your mid-priced meal.That is pure typical...I mean where is the class in all this??I see this every day, not just at tables but at the bar as well...When americans KNOW they can't afford to go out, they still do and will try every dirty trick in the book, til they get what they want,even if it means spitting out such drivel on a blog...No, the problem isn't tipping per se', its the fact that there is no middle percentage anymore who can tip, or at the very least pay for their meal or drink w/o a single complaint...Most of you knuckleheads, think going to a so-called fine dining establihment is a leap of luxury or better yet you put it in the same class as going to a Mcdonald's, when in fact its totally different..Here's an example of what I'm talking about..
There is a reservation for 14 people at 7pm for a company dinner during the holidays.
Now, in order for that reservation to be held, most individuals especially the reservation holder usually show up at the time held or within 15 min of the reservation time.
But I'm a nice guy and held their table til 7:30, which of course at that time a couple showed up and held the table til 2 other couples arrived at 7:45.
Now, between the time the first couple had shown up and when the next couples came, I had already had glasses of ice water out as well as had gotten two more round of drinks for couple #1.
Now its 8pm. The three couples have decided that they will get 2 appetizers and more drinks. The group are drinking Coors Light btls like it was going out of style and the boyfriend of the first couple is already on his 5th Budweiser.
Well, now its 8: 15,one more has shown up and has ordered an Appletini. and the appetizers are already there.Its obviously not enough so they order another one.
No sooner that I bring him his 'Tini, that he decides that he wants to order too- more apps, 2 more to be precise. it is now 8:30. 1more couple arrives, exactly an hour and a half late with two others as well.My man with the 'tini, is now working on his apps and on his 2nd drink and all other apps are done however now the the late couple also wants an app. order!!They haven't even ordered dinner yet!! So this game goes on with 2 more round s of drinks,til 9:05 when they realize what time it is...They order dinner, and of course they get their salads first at 9:15, the dinner order was already working before i put the salads out due to the fact that they wanted med.well steaks etc...The dinner comes at 9:30,with a problem: the man of the late couple mis read the menu and thought that "rib chops" meant "bbq ribs"...hmm.eeyeah, Anyway changes his order to what the ladies have but needs it to be well done, oh and to top it off he neglected to mention that he can't have pork(religion,etc) and that was why he could not eat the bbq rib chops!!ookay.
So now I'm rushing downstairs for more drinks and to get this man his "well-done' rib-eye...his food comes up late of course..it is now 9:50..Everyone is either halfway done , and of course more drinks...
Now its 10:15,my man needs a box as well as a few others for their food.
The lady of the first couple asks for the bill. $470.00, w/o gratuity.
Now up to this point there was never a sign that there was any issue with anything and i had always asked how everything was, especially every time I brought drinks to the table. the only issue to my Knowledge was the gentleman's dinner which was expedtiously brought out due to the nature of the situation, however unfortunatly late of course!! They never had an empty glass or did I never not once leave them alone for lengths of time like some servers. they never had to go look for me, never had to wonder where i was because I told them where I was!! They are still working out the check at 10:20,then 10:30...I see them off and get the bill.
$500!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now mind you at first, i'm thinking did she think that gratuity was on the bill??
At our establishment, we don't add grat unless it has been specified or is a special event..
I never once thought that i needed to add the grat., not once.
So I decide against my better judgement, to go find her.
Of course they are all downstairs in our "clubroom" getting on to the DJ music.
I confront her about it.
She has the audacity to tell me that the food took SOOO LONG and THE SERVICE WAS SOOO SLOW and that I never once checked on them...
This was not a credible excuse. I don't care what side of the tracks you live on especially when you are hosting a company dinner.
If there was ever a problem with anything be it -food quality,service,me, the other servers,the food runners, the air, whatever it should of been brought to our attention at least at the very beginning when they realized their party was becoming difficult, especially to them and not me.
But of course its all my fault.
and I get the lousy tip, on a Friday Nite....
So that just goes to show ya,
Rule 1: Pick people to go out with that aren't going to run your tab up with drinks and apps.
Rule 2: Be there early or on time.
Most company dinner/party hosts think ahead and plan but if thats not the case at least have enough class and sense to find who your server or bartender is, and set the tab from the beginning.
Do you know your workers that well???No you don't. Not a bit.
Rule 3: Respect and appreciation go along ways..Why would I want to have any relation or communication with your business if you do me wrong???money is a circular friend. don't bite the hand that feeds ya.
Rule 4: Communicate your needs and wants, right off the bat. I 'm here for you- tell me what you want.
Also most restaurants would like you at there business 1hr -1:30min max...In n out...Don't overdo your stay especially if there REALLY ISN'T ANYTHING TO TALK ABOUT...
We have lives too, we've been waiting FOR YOU.
i am a server myself, i have been for several years. it is a great way to make a living quickly, except that some nights are not as great as others. some nights i can take home more than $100 and some other nights i make less than $50. my baby (15 months old) and i rely on my tips that i work very hard for....going back to a table and everytime they need something else...and about 7 refills of soda or water...c'mon..how thirsty are you?? i have to tip out to the bussers and bartenders every shift. so this means that if every table (customer) does not tip...then i have to come up with a tip out from my own pocket...not good. it means that i paid you (the customer) to come and eat and get service. servers are paid about $4.65 an hour...which when the paycheck comes and i claim all my tips for the week, i will be lucky if my check is $20.00...that's TWENTY dollars. i survive on tips. my child survives on my tips. it is not my fault that your dinner came out 30 min after you ordered it. we may be very busy, which you will be able to tell when the restaurant is busy...just look around. and please leave as soon as you are done eating and paying. as a server you get a section of maybe 3 or 4 tables for the night. the server relies on "turning tables" quickly...an hour and a half is quite enough time for you to eat and relax. if you decide to sit there all night long, then i lose a table and money (my rent money or some bill). so please get up and leave when you are done. go to a coffee house or somewhere that does not care how long you sit there. really, this is how i make a living. i am a single mom and this is easy money( i am a good server) i am polite and won't laugh when you order water. and it's very hard to find a job in this economy and servers are important, how else are you going to get food to your table when you go out. we should be treated with respect and not looked down upon from you, the customer. remember, we handle your food and drink. we are not maids or butlers. treat us with respect and you should have a pleasant experience. just get in and get out. please do not sit for hours. we dont come to your job and play with your computer so you cant get work done or take up your phone lines....if we did that, you would not be making any money....so if you sit for a long time or dont tip ...we may not be able to buy food for our child or pay our rent. we survive on the tips that you leave. if you dont have enough money for a tip....go to the burger joint, where you dont have to leave a tip. please. just remember we do not control how long it takes your food to come out or if it was made wrong, we want to make it the best dinner for you, but sometimes the cooks give us the wrong food and the person traying up your food may make a mistake and send it to the wrong table. we are the ones who have to confront you. please dont get mad at us, most of the time its not our fault. since we are the ones you deal with you mostly take it out on us and not tip us. please realize that we want you to have a good time so we can get a good tip from you. if you are very thirsty ask for 2 drinks at a time, so that way we arent always at your table getting you a new one...and that should deserve a little more of a tip. if you are a difficult customer modifying your order..you know "leave off the tomato or can i have this bread instead"...that makes it longer for your dinner to come out....too many modifications....not good and if you get your order right...the server deserves a little more tip...generally when you get everything the way you asked...20% is what we expect. the server usually does not deserve less than 10%...but tell them why. we are waiting on you, so we deserve a great tip!!
Reina~ I'm completely annoyed with your post. I've been a server for almost a decade and your sense of entitlement is appalling. People don't go out to dinner to support you or make your job easier, they go out to enjoy themselves. And throwing out the "single mother" card to make your case doesn't have any place in this discussion. I don't have a child so does that make my income less important? While I agree that having a table run me in circles or sit there for an hour after they've paid is annoying, that is part of the job. Deal with it.
20%? Are you kidding me? And nobody here is saying that they aren't tipping the server because the food came out slow or wrong, they're saying they won't tip a server who is Rude or Mouthy or provides Poor Service!
If you want to be a good mother, supporting your kids, don't be such a poor server. This is a commission job. If you aren't a good enough server, you don't make money. The same way that if a salesman doesn't make sales, he doesn't get paid. If you're trying to support a baby and you're teetering on the edge of living on the street with no food, maybe a commission job isn't for you.
Hand the kid off to your mother a few hours every few days and go learn a skill so you can get a more stable job.
Bottom line, if food comes late, or made improperly, the server still gets tips. If the server is snappy and neglects their customers, then they deserve no tip. Tips are optional and are meant to reward the server for going above and beyond, not to support their babies.
When you don't receive a tip, do you ask each and every customer why you didn't get one? If not, then it may not have been the food, it may have been you. For someone who believes she's entitled to steady tips, you sure are overconfident in your ability to make your customers happy. Perhaps you should take a look in the mirror and find out if you really are a good server or not.
Getting a compliment once or twice a day does not make you a good server. If you receive no tip, or a low tip, it's your fault. Yours. Very rarely do people hesitate to leave tips because of late food.
If I come in and order a $50 meal, you expect me to pay you $10 for doing nothing but handing me a plate and belittling me? That $10 is more than likely my next meal, you can't expect people to feel obligated to hand that to you just because it's hard for you to get by.
Like stillwater said, you're a single mother with a baby, but why does that make you any more important than anybody else? You aren't necessarily better than anybody so why do you deserve any more money than anybody else?
@stillwater and archlvt, while I agree with your basic argument, I disagree that the income of someone who is responsible for the life of another human being is not more important than that of a single person. It is! Adults, I would hope, can deal with a lot and put things in perspective. Kids are developing--their experiences will shape the rest of their lives. As for the notion that everybody's mother lives around the corner or would be willing to babysit for free if she did, wake up and get a life!
So a server can treat a customer like dirt and the customer should still tip the server because they have a kid? That's not how life works.
It's the mothers own fault they're in the position that they're in, and nobody else should have to pay for their mistakes.
It's people like you that are causing our current economical problems, demanding special treatment because you think you're the only one with problems.
Having a child is a choice you made. Kids are expensive and it seems you've figured that out. However, that child does not automatically mean your livelihood is more important that mine. That child is a financial factor in your life just as my educational and living expenses are a factor in mine. Which is more important is a matter of perspective. Like Archlvt mentioned, single mothers aren't the only one who struggle.
Arclvt--read any of my 3 posts above and you'll see that I expressly say that servers should NOT automatically get tips, but that problems should be explained to give them a chance to improve.
Stillwater, you ignore a basic distinction: the PARENTS make the choice to have a kid. The CHILD has no choice in the matter whatsoever, but deals with consequences. Parents work their asses off to take care of the little ones in recognition of that very simple fact.
Single parents are certainly not the only people who struggle, but their struggle is for more than one person's life--and one or more of those people had no choice in the matter.
I don't demand special treatment, and when I get it in a restaurant (face it, many people get cranky when they're tired and too hungry) I tip well for it.
If you want to continue this discussion, please be honest in your paraphrasing and response.
Today I got a severely disappointed look from a hostess when I didn't tip her for take out... which brought me here to see what the etiquette is. Now I feel a bit bad about not tipping her something, but all she did was take the order on the phone and then carry it from the kitchen to the front of the restaurant. The place was empty and I certainly wasn't distracting her from other work. She was nice but I just didn't think tipping had really gone this far. the 10% taxing thing makes more sense so I will probably tip for that on take out in the future.
In direct response to this post, I have been to an upscale Thai restaurant and had the most memorably horrifying service ever. We had a waitress circle at close range throughout the meal, she lied about the ingredients or was just ignorant about them.. resulting in me getting sick, and then also rearranged my boyfriend's plates WHILE he was eating off them! I think we actually left her a tip but we never returned and I get my revenge by telling everyone who considers this restaurant this story. She was just awful. She was providing a lot of service, but it was not good service. The other servers were standing back watching her and giggling at the insanity. She was trying to be helpful... I think.
I still believe that tips are reward for providing a service. Expecting a tip for very little or poor service is absurd. As for the girl today, yeah, I feel that guilt monkey babbling a little, but puppy dog eyes for carrying a bag 20 feet really doesn't make me feel that bad...although it bugged me enough to come here to read about it. I do a whole lot more at my job and get nothing in return. It's called work. It's why paychecks happen.. no matter how big or small. Tips are for personalized services and skill. Baristas, for example- always tip- and largely :) Carrying bag 20 feet.. hmm.. not so much skill in that.
I have one more comment for saacnmama then I promise I'll drop it. So you're saying the income of those with children is more important than the income of those without children because it's not the child's fault they were born (paraphrasing honestly here). By that logic, if a company were to need to lay someone off (assuming all parties are equal in other ways) they should choose someone without kids because, after all, they don't need the money as bad? I seriously beg to differ. Alright, I'm done now.
Bungalowal, don't feel bad. Most hostesses don't rely on or expect tips. It's just kinda nice when it happens.
stillh2o, learn to read.
Here is what I think: In the short run, waiters eat the fluctuation on tips. But in the long run, servers have to make their own decisions whether it is worth working for the restaurant or not. I have a friend that is a bartender and makes $12 an hour and an average of $6 in tips. So that is $18 an hour he makes on average. For that kind of job, he is not going to give it up anytime soon. He gets paid more than what other retail workers to begin with. So he will not seek out other jobs.
But on the other hand, I have another friend who makes $3 an hour as a waitress at a different restaurant. She gets $5 an hour in tips after all tip outs. Since min wage is $8 an hour for non tipped workers, should the recession worsen and she is now down to $4 in tips, she is better off to find a retail job, like at walmart for $8.90 a job, even at what she is making now.
You see here, in the long run, restaurants benefit from the abundance of tips generated from customers or is hurt by the lack of tips that customers may give. This is because if tips lack, and there is a better paying job out there even at the grocery store than what you would otherwise make as a waiter/waitress, you are going to work at the grocery store; and then, the restaurant has to go through the expense of hiring/training another waiter, and if this happens enough, then the restaurant needs to increase their wage since the wage + tips customers give don't make it worthwhile for the server to stay.
And another thought is, I here these restaurants that pay wages of $11/$12 an hour and then you get tips on top of that, its like why should I tip the worker that gets paid that much and not tip the grocery bagger who makes only $8 an hour. Or many counter pizza places do $6/hour (including one that my brother used to work at for a few weeks; who moved onto a better paying gig) or so under the table vs the min wage is $8 an hour. So I think that they deserve a tip ahead of some waiters/waitresses.
And what about buffet places? There's waiters there that deliver just drinks. I think its a bit much to tip the same here vs other conventional sit down places since they are not working as hard and I know one of the buffet places I go to occasionally pays their people well for what they do.
So I'm not trying to be cheap here. I'm just trying to be fair, and its hard to be fair with the workers you deal with. I may take a little from what I should be giving at the buffet place if I wasn't trying to be fair and then give it to the counter pizza place even though I have it there and not have it delivered
So the moral of the story here is workers must know if they are being cheated and do what they need to do for themselves. Its just like I remember that sign that was looking for help when I was on vacation since its a restaurant attached to a gift store. Servers make $3 an hour plus they say that servers make an average of $3 in tips per hour. Then, the gift store employees make $8 an hour straight. Its like if I was looking for a job, I would definitely go for the gift store and not be a server. In fact, I probably can do better than $6 an hour if I didn't work at this place I am thinking about and seek employment elsewhere if I didn't get the gift store job.
Shocked at the number of posters here who want to "blame the victim" or simply assume that the story is fake. Where do you get your inside information?
And no, I wouldn't even leave a penny if I was treated that poorly by a waiter, although I have to say in 30 years of eating out I've never experienced anything even close to being that bad. Maybe I've been lucky but is bad service really that prevalent?
I think if the dinner or wait staff was bad in anyway to leave a small tip or if it's really bad then I think it's acceptable to not leave a tip. I also think that 10% of a dinner bill is acceptable as long as it's a small bill like say your bill comes out to be in the range of $21.00-$25.00 up to $30.00 and anything above $30.00 15% to 20%.
I also hate absolutely hate making scenes. If my food is really terrible I of course would say something but there are those people that like to simply complain about everything on their dinner plate and that is so embarrassing. It's not only embarrassing to your dinner guest/guests but the people around you would be embarrassed and also so not courteous to the waiter and or waitress. If I'm out with a friend that would constantly complain, always would want their food sent back for some reason or another I would be so embarrassed and would feel like hiding under the table or would want to get up and leave.
Also people that you are out with that talks so loud that everyone can hear him or her complain. Knowbody likes a complainer but there are those people that do like to complain about anything and everything.