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Joyless, Sullen Brown BrickSoyJoy and Pringles SelectWhat's new? What's great? What's weird? Our columnist samples offerings from supermarket aisles and fast-food menus. |
By: Pharmavite
I Paid: $1.35 for a 1.06-ounce bar (prices may vary by region)
If you’ve ever wondered what food made by people who hate food might taste like, here’s your answer. SoyJoy dangles the promise of a healthy, delicious candy-bar substitute, but delivers in its place a sullen brown brick that smells like a burnt Fig Newton. Things get worse when the bar, made from whole soy and dried fruit, meets the mouth. All three flavors I sampled were bad in their own way, but they shared a handful of depressing similarities: The texture was dry and mealy. The bottom of each bar looked and tasted as though it had been scorched in the oven. And, as noted, there was a Fig-Newton-minus-the-
moist-and-delicious-fig thing going on.
The Mango Coconut flavor had a perfumy, mango-ish floral note wafting from its dried, bready interior, but this was little relief. What was needed was real moisture, not the distant scent of an orchid plantation. And the bar’s stringy coconut bits explain exactly why people take up an unreasonable prejudice against the “giant seed.”
The Berry flavor was similar: an assault on the palate, a waft of berry scent (more smell than flavor), and then more crumbly dryness. But the worst of the lot, by far, was the entertainingly terrible Raisin Almond; somehow, the raisin note had been corrupted by dark forces and transmuted into something resembling a bad box wine, making the experience not unlike eating a soiled cardboard drink coaster.
It’s hard to fault the brand’s heavily rotated commercials, however: Combining Beatles-era psychedelic animation with an iconoclastic jingle, they can almost fool you into thinking these turgid blocks of adulterated protein might be edible. Don’t believe the hype.
By: Procter & Gamble
I Paid: $3.29 for an 8-ounce bag (prices may vary by region)
Pringles is universally known as the maker of the unnervingly consistent chips that come in a tennis-ball can. But since early 2007, the company has been pushing an experimental new line of snacks to expand its appeal beyond the lucrative but oversaturated high-school-volleyball-team demographic it has long dominated.
The new line is known as Pringles Select, and the chips it features are smaller, more expensive, and far more creatively flavored than their Cro-Magnon ancestors. And they come in bags, not cans.
Randomly trying two of the eight available flavors yielded surprisingly good results. The Szechuan Barbecue rice crisps promise tang and “spicy peppers”—and actually deliver both. Granted, there’s still plenty of salt, but the Szechuan sauce taste registers clearly, and there’s a mild but noticeable spice burn trailing in each chip’s wake. This version also manages to be lighter than a potato chip without being irritatingly insubstantial like a typical rice chip.
The Cinnamon Sweet Potato chips are victims of their own ambition. By positioning themselves in an ambiguous gulf between sweet and savory, they raise questions as to where the hell they land on the dessert-versus-snack spectrum. Still, they’re not bad: A whiff of cinnamon, a slightly sweet aftertaste, and palpable sweet potato flavor mean that the chips are eminently edible, if not actively delicious.
Other flavors include Sun Dried Tomato, Honey Chipotle Barbecue, and Parmesan Garlic. And at 28 (small) chips per 140- or 150-calorie serving, the Select line promises to be a little less of a diet-killer than regular potato chips.
I have to agree: thumbs up on the Szechwan BBQ chips. It's actually a unique flavor combo that works.
Hey, I like SoyJoy! It at least tastes natural, not like those soy isolate protein bars. The texture is like shortbread to me.
Ew, SoyJoy. Maybe a year ago, they ran ads on television promoting free bars. They sent me three bars if I promised to give two of them to friends. Alas, they were so entirely disgusting that I threw them all away after just one bite of "Apple Cinnamon." What kind of friend would I be if I had actually passed them on?
I took a bag of the Pringles sun dried tomato chips to the grandkids house, and they loved them. Now they ask for more of those "special" chips.
Oh Pringles Select! I'm a life long lover of those tennis ball canned original chips, and I couldn't wait to try some classed-up Pringles. I think I should have gone for the more exotic varieties, because the Parmesan Garlic chips were super-duper salty and the seasoning kinda smelled like feet. Next time I get the urge I'll go for the Szechuan BBQ.
I found Soy Joy to be joyless, as well. Not everything natural should be put in one's mouth. Poop, for instance.
I heard SoyJoy were terrible, months ago. It surprised me considering how big their marketing budget seems to be. They have TV commercials and Print ads in major magazines. Next time spend the money on a tasty product and word of mouth is free.
YES I agree about the SoyJoys. I received a handful of free SoyJoys at the airport a while back (before they went on the market I think), and was excited to have an airplane snack that looked pretty good! Then I tasted one, and immediately regretted it. I gave a second flavor a try (after I made sure to have plenty of liquid at hand), because the bushel I received (it was like a present! a most disappointing present) included all the flavors. It sucked too. Would I try the third? No.
"Not everything natural should be put in one's mouth. Poop, for instance."
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diana, that's priceless!
fortunately i've never eaten a soyjoy bar, but the review pretty much echoes what i've heard. a friend who works at one of their ad agencies told me that when everyone had to sample them after landing the account, no one in the office made it past the first bite...and all the bars were summarily dumped into the trash.
The Pringles Select are very good! Unfortunately, I think a lot of the taste comes from MSG.
I got my free sample of nojoy at JFK Airport and I imagined prisoners eat better than this.
SoyJoy are vile. There's a perpetual coupon "Buy 3 get 2 free" or something in the Sunday circular. Ackk... On the other hand, the pringle-numminess of Pringles Szechuan BBQ'd was quite a happy surprise. I never would have tried (I don't buy Pringles) but there were 4 oz sample packs for a DIME one day and the novelty of buying something for a dime over-ruled. They make excellent tuna scoopers if you are so inclined. Any type of salt fest is only celebrated once a month and my Mr does not join in. He says these chips taste like someone burped Chinese food into the bag.
I got the SoyJoy's for free also and wouldn't have given them to my enemies. Good for you? If you have no taste buds. Glad they were free because if I would have paid for them, I would have been asking for my money back.
Boccone said Vile...agree with that!
There was a SoyJoy promotional stand at a local artists festival this weekend, and I fell prey to the bright graphics and cute advertisements, and gladly pocketed three free bars. I unwrapped the first (raisin something or other...) and was sort of regretting my decision before taking a bite. After the first chomp, it was clear that I'd made a HUGE mistake. Dusty, hard, and yes, vile! I agree with the posters who wouldn't give these to their enemies. SoyJoy is a misleading name if there ever was one.
SoyJoy is truly cardboard food!
Pringles Select, altho interesting in variety, has waaay too much salt for my taste BUT they did make an interesting crumble for soft cheese. Recently, rolled a soft goat cheese into crumbled sun dried tomato version and it was an instant appetizer/hit.
Soyjoy is the worst processed food item I have ever tasted. One bite and I spit it out and regretted now carrying mouthwash.
My whole family got free samples at a street fair.
We now use the word "soyjoy" as a synonym for bad food - I would sooner eat dogfood than try it again.
I honestly think that some billionaire with a warped sense of humor is deliberately marketing this as some kind of bad joke.