Pie 'n Burger

»Pie 'n Burger--the "mediocre" is silent

The Burger Breakdown...

The $6.50 Burger (4 oz.) came wrapped in white paper, and it bore a striking resemblance to the bland disaster on a bun that the Apple Pan serves up to duped Angelinos. Surely the citizens of Pasadena would not stand up to those sorts of shennanigans.

The Beef: Standard, bland 80:20 Chuck. It was a medium grind, and I let them cook it the way that they liked to cook...+READ The Burger Breakdown...

The $6.50 Burger (4 oz.) came wrapped in white paper, and it bore a striking resemblance to the bland disaster on a bun that the Apple Pan serves up to duped Angelinos. Surely the citizens of Pasadena would not stand up to those sorts of shennanigans.

The Beef: Standard, bland 80:20 Chuck. It was a medium grind, and I let them cook it the way that they liked to cook it.

The Preparation: The way they wanted it cooked was a crusty Well-Done, which was fine for a meh-quality beef. The patties were firmly formed and then smashed flat on a searing hot griddle.

The Seasoning: They throroughly seasoned the exterior of the patties, but none of that seasoning made it into the blend, so Apple Pan-style, these burgers were dangerously bland..

The Sear: They got a crunchy, hearty sear onto the thin patties with that hot griddle. This also rendered out enough of the fat to make these burgers less of a threat to my health. Even cooked to well, the beef had very little flavor, which indicated that it had been frozen for a good long while prior to making it to the griddle.

The Cheese: The nicely melted American cheese saved this cheeseburger from failure and abject blandness. The gooey cheese got to work and filled in the crevices of the sear and provided saltiness and umami so that the dish, when contemplated as a whole, rose to the level of OK.

The Bun: This was a heavily buttered, moderately toasted, standard, non-seeded, hamburger bun. It was unremarkable and inoffensive in every way. It was a completely neutral bun.

The Fries: They were 1/4 inch thick, standard food service fries. The crunch was mediocre and the insides were creamy since they were cooked long but not hot. They were fine.

Ok, ok--the burger was weak to average, but we're talking PIE 'n burger here, so maybe the pie was the big deal. The pie was not a big deal. We tried both the Apple and the Lemon Meringue. Both pies were reminiscent of going to a friend's house when you were a kid, and thier grandmother was visiting. Naturally, they foisted off some of grandma's pie on you, and it invariably had that old lady taste to it. The crust was bready, sodden, and overly salty, and the lemon pie was disturbingly chunky due to the unblended gellatin or pectin or whatever thickening agent was used. The pies were unpleasant and mediocre--oh, and at $3.50 per mercifully small slice, they were overpriced in terms of both portion and quality.

The Value: The value was weak at Pie 'n Burger. If I had been in the market for nostalgia, I suppose the value would have been fine, but I really wanted a burger that lived up to the hype or, at least, was better than meh.-COLLAPSE (by TheBurgerBusters, created October 30, 2010)