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Food and restaurant jokes.

This year I also came away with the prize. I put French fries, gravy and cheese curds on a cracker and called it "Poutine on the Ritz"

Food and restaurant jokes.

Another first grade teacher is trying to teach her kids about animals with flashcards. They get chicken, and cow and cat and dog. The teacher then holds up a picture of a (male) deer. After no one says anything for a few minutes the teacher says "I'll give you a clue it's what your mom sometimes calls your Dad" One kid then pipes up "Oh I know now, it's a horny bastard!"

Nov 22, 2014
jumpingmonk in Not About Food

Food Jokes

Your forgot Sir Loin of Beef and his spicy fellow knight; Sir Racha.

Nov 19, 2014
jumpingmonk in Not About Food

Do any cultures eat owl?

The Coach of the Cannibal Football team is giving a pep talk to the quarterback

Coach: "Son, take a knee"
Quarterback "Thanks, I needed a snack"

Nov 16, 2014
jumpingmonk in General Topics

Do any cultures eat owl?

Sounds like the joke about the man who is brought up before a judge for killing and eating a Bald Eagle. The Judge buys the mans defense (that his plane crashed and he was starving) and lets him off. After the trial the Judge comes up to him and says "I have to know what does bald eagle taste like. The man thinks for a second and them says "Well, Your Honor" I'd have to say it tastes like a cross between Northern Spotted Owl and Whooping Crane".

Mystery Chinese Allium

Bought some today. Having closely examined, smelled and (most importantly) gnawed on one of them, I have come to the conclusion that they probably ARE some sort of rakkyo. I know they grow it in China too (actually it's native to most of eastern Asia), the species name proves that. I guess it just never occurred to me that there might be more than one kind of A. chinese (though that is a pretty dumb thing to assume, sort of like assuming that there is only one kind of onion in the world, or all garlic cultivars are identical). Pile is now split between the ones that are cut on the bottom (which I'll eat) and the few that seem to have a few intact roots, which I'll stick in a pot and see if they keep growing. Who knows maybe this kind of rakkyo will do better than the one I already have (the one I have is quite hardy, but divides really slowly (and unfortunately tends to divide before bulking up, so each years bulbs are smaller than the year before's. Has trouble making flowers too)

Nov 05, 2014
jumpingmonk in General Topics
1

Mystery Chinese Allium

Well, it can't be vineale. We have that, and the bulbs don't look anything like that. But one of the others? who knows. Guess I'll just have to buy a bunch and see (preferably I'll try and find one that still has some roots (most of them have the bottoms cut off, so I can stick that one in a pot (flowers usually make identification easier)

Oct 30, 2014
jumpingmonk in General Topics

Mystery Chinese Allium

Seen at a vegetable stand in Chinatown (Manhattan) today. Before I buy any I'd like to know what they are. They seem too white for rakkyo, the green bits too thin for green garlic or shallots. Garlic Chive tubers? Also took a picture of the sign (in case someone adding this can read Chinese)

Oct 29, 2014
jumpingmonk in General Topics

Why is there no fresh guanabana in the US?

For any Manhattanites, one of the fruit stand on Mulberry street in Chinatown had fresh guanabana today. Didn't get any though (they also had fresh non frozen mangosteens, which I found more appealing.

Oct 08, 2014
jumpingmonk in General Topics

Chinatown Fruit Report 2014

New update (long time, I know but I saw nothing much of note between the last message and now.

The fruit stand on Chrystie between Grand and Hester has some Mangosteens they claim to be fresh and, surprisingly (given the state of the (mangosteens in NYC usually) I think they are telling the truth. They are pliable of skin (the frozen ones are often picked a little underripe, so the skin tends to be more woody)and, more importantly, the stems are actually GREEN, not brown. Taste is more or less in the range of the frozen,(some good; some bad) maybe a tad better (but probably still no where near the range of ones picked right off the tree at peak ripness.) Now I'll see if the pass the indisputable test of not being frozen; if the pits germinate (one good thing about mangosteens, since they are all natural clones of each other, with parthenogenic seeds, I don't have to worry about getting a dud fruited one.)

Aug 20, 2014
jumpingmonk in Manhattan
1

Amusing menu gaffes - what's yours? [moved from Boston board]

I suppose if it was really colorful it would be "A taste to please you palette."

Seen on a Turkish, or (maybe Indian) menu

Fresh Donor Kebabs

While I applaud the generosity of the people providing them, I'm not sure I want to ruminate on some of the possibilities those words imply (particularly given how close the place was to a hospital)

Are broccoli worms harmful to human health?

It also occurs to me (in retrospect) that, given what the osmetium (that orange forked "tongue" they stick out when bothered) SMELLS like, it probably doesn't TASTE any better.

Jul 20, 2014
jumpingmonk in General Topics

Barbera Lorenzo Olive oil No.2?,4?

Hi,

I had a question about Lorenzo's oil (the olive kind, not the drug or the movie g>)

In the stores I have bumped into three versions of this oil (presumably, three types they bottle) No.1, No.3 and No.5. Since I get a lot of my o.o. from a place that mostly stocks remainders from other stores (perfectly fine for oil, as long as you check labels) I simply assumed that no #2 or #4 had come in (or it had sold out before I got there). But going online, I don't see any there either. So my question is, IS there a #2 or a #4 olive oil in their line?

Jul 10, 2014
jumpingmonk in General Topics

Chinatown Fruit Report 2014

Saw some sizable longans yesterday but otherwise fruit looked much as it has previous weeks.

BTW, I know it's going a bit off topic but as this thread is sort of my go to for possible explanations of things I see in Chinatown stores I don't quite understand) I was wondering is someone deeper in to could help me with a minor mystery.

Yesterday, I spent a lot of time flitting from one herb shop/grocery to another, in a search for one that carried a "shiny" brand of black dried soybeans [without going into the intricacies [which are VERY complicated] there are basically two sorts of dried black soybeans that are usually sold in Chinatown, a smaller "shiny" kind and a larger more dull skinned one, which is commoner. I prefer the shiny kind. At one time, the available soybean packages were more or less split half and half [some packers packed shiny, some dull, but finding either wasn't all that hard] Nowadays however nearly ALL black soybeans sold are the dulls, and finding the old shiny kind is all but impossible [I did finally find a store that has some, but it was like the 20th I went to].)

Anyhow while wandering through all these shops, I came across one that, amongst it's offerings had something I have never seen being sold before. They had a bin (with an open sack next to it, full of what, as far as I could tell, were shark vertebrae (or shark and other large fish, my comparative anatomy isn't that good. I assume this is for some use in Traditional Chinese medicine, but what, I am clueless. I am aware that a lot of people take shark cartilage for their joints, but I have never seen anywhere offering it au natural. Plus if what you wanted was the cartilage it would seem odd to use the spinal column, since, besides the teeth, that's the only part of a shark's skeleton that is actually more or less bone. I suppose it may be like that time I saw the bags of empty abalone shells, which someone told me are also used medicinally (actually that made me wonder, since the species they take the shells from is the same one that the fish markets sell for eating, when people buy those little abalones to eat, do they dry off and save the leftover shells to save on their medicine bills? Or do some of the herb conglomerates actually BUY the leftover shells off the public/restaurants (there's a secondary marked for used cooking oil, why not one for discarded abalone shells?) )

Jul 03, 2014
jumpingmonk in Manhattan

Strawberries have no flavor anymore. Agree or disagree?

And I am sure that some in power, particularly in the Department of Health, would approve, if not encourage or even mandate such a change on the grounds that if eating becomes a pure act of neccecity, the obesity episdemic would probably disappear (if food brings no pleasure why would you eat more than you have to) as well as a consolidation of producers (everything tastes the same, all the edges that win most of the brand loyalty/ variety disappear and food production probably centralizes into the hands of a few major corporations) that would result in an easier time of regulation and control (fewer companies, fewer inspectors needed and more regular inspections)

One thing though, your time period only seems to work if you are working from only one type of strawberry. Since wild strawberries are being brought up, I should point out there are a LOT of species of those and they vary GREATLY in the season they ripen in. Back when I still had my alpines which are cold season(which tasted as strawberry like as any good strawberry I have had) I used to get two crops off one ; one in early March or even late February and one all the way in November/December. I regularly would bring fresh picked strawberries off my plants to Thanksgiving dinner (and I'm in New York). And there are strawberry species that are even MORE cold loving than alpines. A clever farmer with a wide selection could basically supply fresh berries pretty much from the end of the winter freeze to the beginning of the next one.

Jun 27, 2014
jumpingmonk in General Topics

Chinatown Fruit Report 2014

I THINK I saw some at that same stand, but they looked in pretty cruddy condition

Jun 21, 2014
jumpingmonk in Manhattan

Chinatown Fruit Report 2014

Agreed, emphasis on WHEN. I have vague memories from my childhood (when Uglis were still a new thing on the market) when the vast majority of them were pretty good. Now however it seems that decent ones are few and far between . And even the GOOD ones now have those thick segment skins and that odd tendency to have those empty cells in one end of the fruit (on some, the empty part actually takes up almost the entirely of each segment, leaving the fruits juiceless and tasteless. I honestly think that, in their relentless desire to increase the acreage they have been allowing inferior stock to be grown and that this inferior stock is now becoming the norm.
Oh, and I should have mentioned that, last Wednesday, I noticed that the fruit seller on the corner of Grand and Forsyth (the one outside of the grocery store on the uptown side) had Lichis of unusually large size (approaching the coveted "apricot" range. )

Jun 21, 2014
jumpingmonk in Manhattan
1

Chinatown Fruit Report 2014

Not really Chinatown related, but My Mom today surprised me by coming home with an orange ugli fruit; first of the season for me. (I have come to the conclusion that while, an ugli does not have to be orange to be ripe those few that actually DO have orange peels tend to be the sweetest of the uglis; taking more of their character from the Tangerine side of their ancestry than the grapefruit side (while the yellows and greens tend to be the reverse). The texture was, as usual not great ( most uglis now seem to have tough skins on the segments and large numbers of hard "hollow" cells in the wedges) but at least this one TASTED alright.

Jun 20, 2014
jumpingmonk in Manhattan

Why do chinese restaurants insist on having "secret" Chinese menus their English-Speaking customers can't decipher?

Or (For Red Dwarf Fans). "My Gazpacho has gone cold."

Chinatown Fruit Report 2014

Update 6/4

Lian Wu now available at one or two of the fruit carts on Mulberry, as well as at the large fruit stand on Chrystie between Grand and Hester. The latter, I'd say is the more significant, since it appears that the person who runs that stand has gotten his hands on the long slender strain of Lian Wu, which is far less common than the wide one (and in my opinion, usually far sweeter and more flvorful)

Jun 04, 2014
jumpingmonk in Manhattan
1

Fresh green ume,2014, NY

I'd say ALL of the H-marts are getting them in. At least I know I was able to get them at the H-mart Branch in Scarsdale. They have also had them at most of the smaller Japanese markets in the same area. I know they have them at Ninjya (Hartsdale) and Daido (White Plains) and presumably they have them at Fuji Mart (Eastchester).

Jun 01, 2014
jumpingmonk in General Topics

Chinatown Fruit Report 2014

Done with taste test and so far it looks like the ideal is the same as last year, round fruit, unusually large (about grape sized) are the ideal. Cant comment on long, as there were no long in the bunch I got.

May 29, 2014
jumpingmonk in Manhattan

Chinatown Fruit Report 2014

NP. But I really reccomend waiting until I've done my taste tests before buying any. I've only eaten a few so far (basically, the ones that fell off the stalks, so I couldn't match them to a cluster [fruit from the same cluster tends to be the same in qualty) but as with previos years, some are average sour, some are fairly sweet and pleasant, and one or two are so sour they burn! I know taste sort of goes with (relative) size and shape. So just give me a day or two to work out which ones are "good" sizes and shapes this year (the one's you want to buy) and which are "bad".

May 28, 2014
jumpingmonk in Manhattan

Chinatown Fruit Report 2014

Somewhere along Canal Street; just above Mott, I think (maybe above Mulberry). (The guy who runs the fruit stand on the corner of Grand and Bowery usually has some too, but I wasn't that far east today.)

May 28, 2014
jumpingmonk in Manhattan

Chinatown Fruit Report 2014

Rambutans have shown uo now, as have wong pei. Though the rambutan looks a little pale at the moment (mostly greenish rather than reddish) and the wong pei, sparse (but then again it always does) I haven't eaten much of the wong pei I bought yet, so I'll have to get back vis a vis what size and shape are the "sweet" ones this year.

May 28, 2014
jumpingmonk in Manhattan

Szechuan Gourmet 98th opening

To be fair, it wasn't as if absolutely EVERYTHING Hunan Balcony made was awful. I personally thought their Zha Jian Mein (or however the spelled it, the dish with the noodles in the meat and soybean paste sauce) was some of the best in the city. Of course I'm referring to the version served by the UES branch the used to be in the 60's; the version the UWS branch dished up should have gotten the chef five hundred lashes. Still I'm glad that Szechuan Gourmet has taken over the UWS spot. They tend to be reliable.

May 24, 2014
jumpingmonk in Manhattan

Chinatown Fruit Report 2014

Tons, mostly the dark red ones. Oddly for the second year running, a lot of them are siamese twins (two cherries coming off the same stalk, attached to each other).
Also seem to be a lot of little mangoes, the kind that are about apricot sized.

May 23, 2014
jumpingmonk in Manhattan
1

Chinatown Fruit Report 2014

Lichis have begun showing up; most of the fruit vendors had some. Look like the pale ones with the pink blush (as opposed to the brown ones). And no, dont ask me if they were "chicken tounge" lichi's; I didn't buy any, and don't rember how those look different from the outside of the fruit.

May 21, 2014
jumpingmonk in Manhattan
1

Chinatown Fruit Report 2014

Well how do you think I feel? The Mexican problem is also affecting my acess to key limes (which while not the limes the papers are focused on, come from more or less the same places). And while the odd piece of exotic fruit is nice I don't NEED it every day, the way I do with key limes (I use up two a day in my tea) So far, my supply is reasonably stable due to a combination of buying extra when I can to squeeze and freeze, and having acess to several Bodegas, which seem to be feeling the lime pinch less than the big sellers (I suspect they may be doing a reverse of the Chinatown "cold road"; smugging limes UP from those places in S America that don't produce enough to be viable importers to the US (or be able to afford the varios fees to make the import legal.) Plus probably relying on a network of fellow Latins who may have trees on thier private properties (If a bar in California can be relying on customers to provide them with limes in exchange for cocktails, I see no reason why some of the little latin shops up here could be counting on relatives down south and thier backyard trees to keep thier supply going.) But if the problem persists (the experts keep SAYING the next harvest should correct the problem, but I am not all that convinced at this point) I may have to start getting creative.

May 17, 2014
jumpingmonk in Manhattan
1

Chinatown Fruit Report 2014

Quite possibly. Most of the lichis that hit American markets are grown in Mexico (with Florida and California making up most of the balance) so all of the problems with limes you have been reading about in all the papers may apply to them as well. That also means that I would expect the rambutan season to be delayed or skimpy too, since they also are mostly Mexican grown.

May 17, 2014
jumpingmonk in Manhattan