It is sad that he is like this. First of all, you do not earn the same high income to be taking him out to dinner to expensive places. He should be the one who should be glad to treat you.
Re friends, I have noticed that if you can't keep up with the Jones and you can't reciprocate the way they expect, they drop you. I don't call that friendship but it seems that this is what the world is all about today, even with family.
I thought about myself when I read this question. Years ago, I entertained a lot. I had the energy and strength and I did not have a hectic job then. Things changed with my job, my place was no longer up to scratch and I reciprocated by taking a few friends out to dinner. I stopped just inviting anyone. So, of course, I did not get open invitations anymore. Actually, at first I stopped because I was too tired and secondly, they were all moving to big houses and I became insecure with my apartment. I always take stuff with me, wine or bake a lovely cake, when invited out and I try to reciprocate by taking the person out to dinner, if this is possible. I am now trying to get my place back from clutter in order to start inviting guests. One person did tell me that I do not invite people to my house, but to be honest, it is not that I don't want to.
On the other hand what is true friendship all about? I have heard people criticize other people's dinner parties and their homes and I believe this was my downhill trod with entertaining although I am a good cook.
People have different opinions about this topic. Here is mine.
From the culture that I have come from it would be rude to invite people to dinner and expect them to come and help you wash up. If you are having problems in the kitchen a close guest may offer to help get things to the table if you are running late and not all of them will be willing to do this. But it will be rude to expect them to, dressed in their good clothes to come and help you in your kitchen.
If it is family, it may be different, they may help, but you do not ask them to help. I would hate that everytime I go to someone's house for dinner, well dressed that I am expected to help wash dishes. I am a guest.
I have noticed that in some cultures it is the norm to help wash dishes but do not expect someone from a different culture to think like you. So as far as I am concerned, you should not invite people to your home for dinner and expect them to help you wash the dishes. If you think you cannot handle the whole situation, then take people out to dinner. Just my way because of my culture.
I also feel that when people are only exposed to family growing up and starts socializing with other people they do not know the difference between when and when not to do something and this goes for many things. As we wonder outside of our home environment, we start learning what is correct and what is not.