I agree. As a customer, I'm assuming my food is going to remain on a plate before I get it, so it should be safe. (So far I'm the only one who has given myself food poisoning.) But as an owner I would be worried about an employee falling and getting injured, plus the impression it gave to people about their cleanliness. They probably ought to invest in a step ladder.

I love it when someone holds a door open for me just because so many of them can be heavy and hard to open. And I am a small female, so if a man has at least made the effort to open it I can maneuver by without feeling uncomfortable and always make eye contact and thank them. But I have held many doors open for men (always seems to be the gas station) because I figure if I made the effort to get the thing open and I see someone coming, male or female, holding it open (and I do step out of the way) just seems like the right thing to do because all it took was me standing still for a few extra seconds. I was doing it anyways, so maybe I'll get some karma credit for the next time I encounter a heavy door.

Wow, that ended badly for him. I bet his next idea for a contest is who can clean the bathroom or fold the laundry the best. I bet he loses. On purpose.

I was raised to butter one piece broken off at a time, but sometimes if the bread/rolls come out hot, I really like the butter very melted so I will break it open, put some butter in and let it melt and then break pieces off and eat it. Not perfect, but I figure it's a fair compromise for getting the butter warm while the bread is still warm and after the offensive act of buttering it all at once, I will be polite and break pieces off in small pieces. So far no one has banned me from eating out in public with them.

The image of that is hilarious. I guess he should get some credit for trying (or maybe he was trying to get relieved of the duties). My Dad always managed to disappear when it came time to clean up after dinner. But I also have a Mom that won't let me touch her dishwasher because she likes to load it herself and I recently realized I have become the same way without even knowing it. It's amazing what we pick up from our parents.

The one thing I always cut at least half up at a time is a wedge salad or a romaine salad with the whole heart with big leaves on the plate. I like to make sure I can get dressing on it evenly and not accidentally get lettuce on the table every time I try to cut it (especially a wedge salad because they can be cumbersome and in one unfortunate situation, a little slippery.) I am also a slow eater and often dine with a few very fast eaters and have found that sometimes I can keep up with their pacing of the meal a little better if I cut 3 or 4 bites at once. I'm pretty sure they prefer I break the rules and do this rather than slow everyone down because the alternative is I end up with everyone staring at me eat or most of my meal in a to-go container. One of my friends particularly likes the fact that I am a slow eater because we often split an appetizer and an entrée and he gets about 3/4 of it and the rest is the perfect amount for me. I would be more careful about following the lead of someone in a business related meal or if I had a mother in law. I was taught well by my Mom on when to be on your best behavior.

I was recently at a restaurant and seated with my family at a table but I noticed the bar seats had cushions on them. The waitress was so awesome at her job and saw me staring at them, I didn't even say a word and she brought one over for me. i am not petite in the height way, but I'm thin and sitting on hard chairs for an extended period of time is very uncomfortable. I made sure to return the cushion to it's original seat before leaving and tipped well. And what's funny is that I don't even remember what I ordered (I know it was good) but I remember being comfortable and able to enjoy the meal.

Yes, everyone does deserve it and I hope when I am elderly and need some extra attention from a service employee, I will find my weekly place to go.

Thank you for sharing your story and I think it's amazing the waitress remembered you! If she was still working there and recalled your visits with Paba, she obviously loves her job and you and Paba made an impression on her.

The waitress I remember the most is one that worked at a restaurant/bakery in a small town near Seattle, WA that my grandparents went to once a week on "clam chowder" day. Every time I visited we would go and as my grandfather's dementia got worse and worse, she just kept her sense of humor and did her best to anticipate what she figured he wanted but he couldn't articulate (and she was always right!) She always greeted them by name and with hugs like they were coming to her home. My grandfather always ordered the chowder and she would bring out his "extra bowl" as soon as he finished the first one, which was great because he wasn't eating well at home. He has since passed away, but I will always appreciate and remember her kindness to my grandfather when he wasn't at his best.

I use these frequently for transporting food to friends and family (gifts or events) and I always forget to tell them to keep it because I'm usually focused on the reason for the event. I always let people who call and ask know that it is theirs to use however they wish, but I always appreciate being asked. I use the free address labels I get in the mail for the things I want to keep track of. I have had my favorite plastic serving spoon for 16 years because of them.

I thought I was the only one with an issue with silverware. I can't stand the set my parents have and when I visit I always dig through my Mom's cooking utensil drawer where I know there are some odds and ends pieces that are lighter weight and easier to use. I do have to give my Mom a huge thank you because when I moved out to my first apartment she let me take the silverware I had used growing up (it's weird what you get attached to) and then when my younger sister got her first apartment I sent it to her. I'm happy to say it's still in use after over 30 years. I also like to drink out of plastic cups and eat out of tupperware. I'm glad I don't have to use my actual name when making confessions like these.

I am guilty of salting food before tasting it and will try to at least make an effort to taste first, but I salt everything and even carry a salt grinder in my lunchbag to work. Fortunately my sodium levels at the doctor are low, so I figure I am free to salt away. But I will be sure to be a little more sensitive to my hosts/hostesses before reaching for the salt after reading this thread. And don't even ask me about the number of condiments in my fridge. I think some people are chocolate/sugar people and some people are salt people. I haven't ordered a dessert in a restaurant since I was 12 so I know which one I am.

That is a great idea and a way to match specialty items to recipients who can and want to use them.

This doesn't involve my significant other, but a well meaning older husband armed with a list from his wife. I first noticed him in the feminine hygiene product aisle (that can't go well) literally scratching his head and referring over and over to his list. I finally asked him if I could help and he said he needed something with "wings". I showed him a few different things and he made a selection and moved on. I then saw him in the baking aisle with the same perplexed head scratching and he said he was trying to find the "Old Purple Flour". I live in the south and we have a lot of local products in our store so I started to hunt for it, in my head repeating "Old Purple Flour" and then I asked him if maybe he needed "All Purpose Flour" and he said, "That must have been what she said." So again, I showed him the different brands. I asked him if there was anything else on his list he wasn't sure about and he said there was one thing, it said, "return lock" and he had no idea what that was or where to find it in the store. I asked if he had something at home he needed to return and he said, "Dammit, I left it on the counter." He was a very sweet and well intentioned man and I hope his wife was happy with what he came home with. But I can see how the grocery lists with photos can help.

I have forearms decorated with burn scars, mostly from attempting to use the broiler, lost half of a fingertip when i was 11, and I once cut a huge X in my thumb when slicing a tomato for my lunch. I did what you are not supposed to do and held the tomato in my hand and cut it, sliced my thumb and wanted to finish up so I wrapped a paper towel around it and then stupidly cut it again. That was an expensive 10 stitch trip to the ER.

The other thing that didn't involve cooking, but did involve food was when I went to sprinkle some cayenne pepper on my garden so my ginormous dog would stay out of it and stop stealing my tomatoes (advice from my vet). The only cayenne pepper I had was a Costco size container and I tried to gently shake it, but the wind caught it and a large amount got on my hand and forearm. Within hours I had huge red blisters and now have a pretty disgusting scar. I imagine I have some kind of sensitivity to it and am a lot more careful. I never eat it because it is too spicy for me, and I'm definitely not going to start. Fortunately, my dog has moved on to the mud and eating acorns so I don't need the cayenne anymore. She also eats sticks and rocks so I wasn't too worried about the cayenne. Young labs are fun dogs, but they sure can make trouble out of nothing.

I think your list sounds great and it's very generous of you to put so much effort into it. Would it be possible to include a list that has some basic suggestions/instructions for cooking the turkey, pies, whole cranberries, green beans, etc. and the best way to store the leftovers in case it goes to a family that doesn't have much experience cooking a turkey or access to the internet for recipes? (I get so used to just looking things up online, I forget that many people don't have that luxury.) I don't know the situation of the families your meals will go to, but if sugar, salt and pepper, etc. are needed for any of the recipes, Walmart or one of the dollar stores usually has them at a great price. A loaf of bread might also be an idea because they can use it for sandwiches with the leftovers the next day to maximize the turkey, plus leftovers are always the best part of all the cooking. The only other thing I could think of was a small bag of marshmallows for the yams because I have some family members that will only eat them with the marshmallows.

Again, this is so kind of you to do this and I am sure the familes that recieve it will appreciate whatever you are able to give.

I think the recommendations for a phone call are a great idea and if you are worried about seeming needy, you can always use the excuse of checking on food allergies or strong dislikes for the menu.

I learned the hard way that you can't refreeze fish that has not thawed in a refrigerator. I was in college and my sister drove 6 hours and transported a small cooler of salmon my parents had caught and smoked and it had thawed by the time it got to me. I knew I couldn't consume all of it at once, so stuck a batch in the freezer. A few weeks later I thawed it and ate it and spent the night on the cold bathroom floor wanting to die. I won't go into details about what came out of me, but I will never, ever forget it. I definitely have a 5 second rule in my kitchen, but refrrigeration has become a little bit of an obsession.

That site is awesome. For all the tipping threads, here's this one I found while browsing the cartoons:

http://theoatmeal.com/pl/senior_year/...

Me too. To this day I can't figure out why she put the items on her gift registry. And KitchenAids and stainless steel bowls are NOT hard to clean. Oh well, I use my own KitchenAid weekly for loaves of bread and am proud of how used it looks. She can be proud of her clean one. We each find happiness in our own way.

I have a friend who recieved a beautiful KitchenAid mixer and set of stainless steel mixing bowls for her wedding and she refuses to use them because she doesn't want to get them dirty. (She's been married for over 2 years now, so it's not like they are just out of the box.)

No worries. :-) I am right there with you with the frustration. I love to cook and am a little obsessed with reading about well prepared food and would love to think that everything I fix is worthy of a magazine cover, but the reality is if people really knew what I ate most days, I'm afraid I'd lose my membership here. My husband has a pretty limited range of things he will eat (think mac n cheese, top ramen and ravioli in the can.) Finances don't allow me the opportunity to eat out very often, but I'm hoping the four dollars I invested in seeds and planted in the yard will produce some nice veggies in a month or two and then I can claim to have home grown food! (Although I'm not touching the green beans my husband planted, bad memories of sitting in the dark with a plate of unfinished ones have given me a strong aversion, though I'm pleased he'll actually eat something green.)

I was trying to be lighthearted. The ratio of constructive posts to critical posts regarding things like boxed or frozen meals is pretty broad. And like I said, I am no stranger to boxed/frozen/processed food. I happen to think velveeta singles are the only way to make a grilled cheese. On white bread with country crock spread on the outside. And (no lie) I just worked an endless day and will be eating Stouffer's fried chicken with mashed potatoes and corn. I'm just mad it doesn't come with a brownie like it used to when I was a kid. Tomorrow I plan to make pulled pork out of a 5lb pork butt to stick in the freezer, but some nights, a frozen dinner just hits the spot.

Yeah, it would be like the anti-Chowhound where people rave about which brand of boxed macaroni they serve to guests and whether Stouffer's is better than Lean Cuisine and if boxed wine can be kept out of the fridge. (Don't get me wrong, all four of those things have graced my kitchen, I just know Chowhound isn't really the place to ask for approval of those items.)

I often wonder if there is some website out there where people say things about us being so obsessed with eating. I can only imagine the venting they may have to do.

There's a reason they call things like BBQ "Finger lickin' good". Clearly plenty of people have licked their fingers enough to come up with the phrase. I think you were fine and certain foods require some interaction with your food (such as BBQ, fried chicken, nachos, the melting chocolate on a s'more come to mind).I think you are right that there are some settings that using a napkin may be more appropriate, but at home or a casual BBQ place, finger licking should be encouraged.

That's a guest that would get another invite from me. Not only does he appreciate good food and a soda machine, but he helped get the other guests interested in the food and probably didn't even realize he was doing it. (Plus he didn't get drunk and pass out on your couch!)

Is it possible to cook an inexpensive (but tasty) meal like lasagna, garlic bread, salad and dessert, or bring a "taco bar" set up or even chili and cornbread; and then have the meal at your brother's house, where clearly he is more comfortable? Or maybe there is a meal from your childhood that you both might remember that would be fun to make for old times sake that you could prepare and take over and then, instead of the conversation being uncomfortable, you could focus on the food and the memories of growing up. I'm just trying to think of a way that could help your situation, not cause further hurt. But it may be that you would prefer to limit your interactions for now, and that is completely your choice. I am sorry this has happened.

As I was reading this post, I immediately thought of the many years of cliques in a school cafeteria at lunchtime. From the "cool" tables, the "jocks", the "loner" tables, even the people who skip lunch entirely and go to the library to avoid the potential interaction altogether. I was not there to make an opinion if they were being bullies or attempting to be polite, but it sounds like you did the best you could in that situatiion and feel ok with it. And this thread has maybe given some suggestions for something else to try in the future. Thanks for putting yourself out there for the discussion.