monkeyrotica's Profile

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McDonald's Burgers Ranked Worst in the U.S. - Cutting Menu Items

People make the same argument about Subway. If their sandwiches are so terrible and they smell "funny" why are so many people buying them? Both companies specialize in seeling the cheapest possible product that can be described as "food" at the lowest possible price. They make their profit on volume. And everyone at some point has needed to eat something and didn't have the time to pick and choose. Having a Subway/McDonalds on every street corner makes that decision easy.

Dec 18, 2014
monkeyrotica in Chains

Pizza Hut's new menu, anyone give it a try?

My impression is that, like a lot of terrible food, the appeal lies in "it's what we had growing up." I read somewhere that a lot of college freshmen gorge themselves on Subway because it's what they ate when they were home, so there's the whole nostalgia/comfort food thing. I ordered a bunch of pizzas for my son's birthday from a really good mom & pop pizzeria: they make their own sauce, decent toppings, good crust. Two of my kid's friends spat the stuff out saying it was "didgusting." Their baseline for "great" pizza WAS Pizza Hut, so since the pizza wasn't soaked in butter-style flavored oil and heavily processed ingredients, they hated it.

Dec 17, 2014
monkeyrotica in Chains

Which DC area restaurants would close if there were no expense account diners?

I think places like The Palm and Prime Rib would remain because they've got a built-in non-expense-account clientele who've been going there for ages. I don't think Capitol Grill or Monocle would last without lobbyist dollars.

Which DC area restaurants would close if there were no expense account diners?

"And the ones that work in DC aren't having lunch at these places unless they can charge that lunch to someone. DC people eat lunch early and quickly and not overly expensively."

What about the people who live in DC? Not everyone commutes in from the suburbs to eat. These residents eat out and eat frequently, and it's not all sandwiches at Subway.

Craving Fried Clams like the old Howard Johnson's

Jimmy's Grill at the Maine Avenue Fish Market does clam strips.

McDonald's Burgers Ranked Worst in the U.S. - Cutting Menu Items

Kudos on them paring down the menu, but they've got a LONG way to go. There's still far too many barely-discernable differences between the burgers. I don't even bother looking at the menu anymore. I'll get a McDouble or whatever the banner out front is selling, if I'm even interested in trying it.

I think part of the reason they rank dead last is that the McDonalds style of burger--the frozen flat gradeschool cafeteria hockey puck--has gone out of style. They're the bottom-rung baseline of what can be called "a burger" and not get sued for false advertising. I don't see how being able to "customize" your hockey puck is going to make much difference, except maybe make you wait 8-10 minutes for it, only to discover that it was made wrong.

Dec 12, 2014
monkeyrotica in Chains

Un-hip Dad

+1. Why are you stuck with this chore? Your wife seems more knowledgeable about your daughter's tastes. Have her pick the place and you buy the gift.

Dec 11, 2014
monkeyrotica in Manhattan

Be Honest, You Love These 8 Americanized Asian Foods

Never cared for the duck sauce, but almost everything is good with that hot horseradish-ey Chinese mustard.

Dec 10, 2014
monkeyrotica in Features

Be Honest, You Love These 8 Americanized Asian Foods

Gonna pass on General Tsos (not big on candied meat), but I can dig on everything else. I think America's great contribution to the egg roll technology is the Cheesesteak Eggroll. Fried cheesy ribeye is all kinds of awesome.

Dec 10, 2014
monkeyrotica in Features

Burger King's Yumbo is back

One of the issues facing the big fast food chains is that as the price of beef goes up, people eat less of it. Which is why many are pushing chicken; it's more readily available and has a higher profit margin. Problem is a place called "Burger King" has sort of painted itself into a corner. What I don't understand is why they aren't focusing on other kinds of burgers: ground chicken or turkey or veggie or whatever. Instead, when people want a burger, they either go fast casual chain (Five Guys, etc) for a higher quality product or go cheap (McDonalds) for the Value Menu.

Dec 10, 2014
monkeyrotica in Chains

Pizza Hut's new menu, anyone give it a try?

Yeah, there's a local place that does a decent garlic white pizza that tastes like garlic and sharp provo instead of white American cheese and failure. I guess since PH is a franchise, people expect a consistent level of failure from store to store.

Dec 10, 2014
monkeyrotica in Chains

Burger King's Yumbo is back

I think this is targeted at those people who go to Burger King but don't want to eat a burger because they're disgusting and are incapable of making a ham sandwich.

Dec 10, 2014
monkeyrotica in Chains

Why would anyone go to Denny’s these days?

"I recently acquired 3 step kids. Will I be spending $50 or more dollars for breakfast or lunch at Denny’s?"

Not addressing the question of Denny's quality per se, but the pricing. Where do you go to feed five people for under $50? Are you just spending the extra money on a better quality restaurant, or are you just doing fast food? What qualifies as "decent food at a good price?" This seems like a perpetual question. Everybody likes to wax nostalgic about how cheap everything was when they were younger, but when a cup of coffee cost you a dime, you could live quite comfortably making less than $10k a year. And yet people were still incensed when Chock Full O Nuts raised the price of coffee from a nickle to a dime. People thought nickle coffee was an American birthright. Now it seems people whine about paying $5 for a cup of coffee at Starbucks, but they do it anyway.

Dec 10, 2014
monkeyrotica in Chains

Why would anyone go to Denny’s these days?

Last time I ate at Denny's story. About a decade ago, with kids in tow, they were running some kids eat free special. I ordered a regular burger, thinking they could probably pull that off without screwing up. Of course, the bun was stale and the meat tasted like meatloaf. Bad meatloaf. About a month later, two customers got in an argument and three people were shot. I'd like to think they were arguing over the burger. Haven't set foot in a Denny's since.

Dec 10, 2014
monkeyrotica in Chains

Pizza Hut's new menu, anyone give it a try?

I'm in the same boat. I had to attend a kid's party where Pizza Hut was served. They had the usual pepperoni pies and something with a white "parmesian" sauce that tasted like rancid mayonnaise. The pepperoni one was edible, but the crust was somehow both greasy and dry. They seem to be taking a page from the Starbucks business model; there's only so much plain coffee you can sell, so you have to upscale everything with "premium" chai mocha cinnamon maple vanilla bacon syrup. The only chain pizza I find edible is Ledo's, and that's probably just because I grew up eating it. Plenty of people hate on Ledo's as well.

Dec 10, 2014
monkeyrotica in Chains

Burger King's Yumbo is back

There was an urban legend at the time that McDonalds was using kangaroo meat in their burgers. No truth to it, but the damage was done. Burger chains had to emphasize that they were using 100% real beef, just like every few years Procter & Gamble has to remind customers that they DON'T contribute part of their profits to the Church of Satan.

Dec 09, 2014
monkeyrotica in Chains

Burger King's Yumbo is back

Dec 08, 2014
monkeyrotica in Chains

Eastern Market recommendations

Sushi Capitol on Penn is excellent. One of the better deals on the Hill considering the quality of ingredients.

http://www.sushicapitol.com/

Pete's Apizza and Tarbouche

Shallow skillet with a domed lid over low heat is the way to reheat pizza. Microwaves just soggify everything. The skillet crisps the crust nicely. Cast iron keeps the heat even and helps prevent scorching.

http://www.artofmanliness.com/2014/09...

Little Caesars Soft Pretzel Crust Pizza

For me, soft pretzels should be salty and chewy, not salty-salty with a sweet doughy crust. Combined with the creamy cheeses, the whole thing just didn't really work. It's missing something to cut the creamy/saltiness, like an acidic dipping sauce or mustard.

Dec 07, 2014
monkeyrotica in Chains
1

Little Caesars Soft Pretzel Crust Pizza

I tried this at the urging of my nine-year-old (I'm always encouraging him to try new things, no matter how vile). Well, even he couldn't stomach it. The crust is really salty; the crust must have HFCS in it because it's on the sweet side. The four cheese sauce didn't work for me either. You can't taste any single cheese flavor, so they sort of blend together into a kind of White American/Velveeta creaminess. Imagine bechamel crossed with mayonnaise and room temperature Gouda. We're not pizza snobs, either. We'll get a $5 pepperoni once a month when we're rushed for time, but this pretzel thing hits the too creamy, too salty, too sweet spot.

Dec 07, 2014
monkeyrotica in Chains
1

I figured out why In/Out fries suck

And that's why Shake Shack went back to frozen crinkle cut fries. It takes skill to fry potatoes, a skill that a lot of minimum wage workers don't have or can't develop.

http://ny.eater.com/2014/8/8/6173399/...

Dec 05, 2014
monkeyrotica in Chains

Finally - A high-end Starbucks!

Hopefully they can make their coffee even more burnt and undrinkable.

Red Robin Burgers

O RLY

Dec 05, 2014
monkeyrotica in Chains

Chicken stock - purine content and gout

I used to use cherry juice concentrate from the health food store mixed with seltzer water, but Ocean Spray and a few other companies have hopped on the bandwagon and sell cherry juices. Made the mistake of drinking them straight without mixing with club soda. Whoosh! That stuff goes through you like a Ferrari.

Dec 04, 2014
monkeyrotica in General Topics

Chicken stock - purine content and gout

The problem with vegetable stock is that they almost all contain yeast extract (kinda like Vegemite) which is also a gout trigger. I found this out the hard way. I had a worse reaction to the vegetable stock than I did to watered down chicken stock.

Dec 04, 2014
monkeyrotica in General Topics

Great Italian Deli in DC/Baltimore Area

Imagine Willy Wonka's factory except stuffed with Italian goods.

Great Italian Deli in DC/Baltimore Area

That's Shaw, which is literally minutes from Litteri's. Used to go there at least once a month when I lived there. Italian Store is more convenient for me now, but I still make it a point to do Litteri's for bulk olive oil, canned tomatoes, pastas, and lunch meats. The place is floor-to-ceiling with imported goods. If there's better deals on Italian wines, I'm all ears.

http://alitteri.com/DELI.html

Let's ban the word GUYS!!!

You know, you'd be surprised how fast you get the bill when you just walk out the front door.

Dec 04, 2014
monkeyrotica in Not About Food

Let's ban the word GUYS!!!

Well, there's good change (the Civil Rights Act) and there's bad change (people behaving like incontinent animals in the restroom). It's important to pick your battles.

Dec 03, 2014
monkeyrotica in Not About Food