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dinner host responsibilities

I don't think it is about a host policing what you eat but rather your response to that person's hospitality offered.

1 day ago
wekick in Not About Food

dinner host responsibilities

Haha not "even ordering" but following your host's lead either verbal or nonverbal. Etiquette avoids fussing. It is being considerate and deferential. It is not presuming. In the case of the original poster, I would not have ordered alcohol in that situation because I did not know the person. There would then have not been any issues. That's how that works.

On the other side of the coin if I invite someone to dinner and I felt strongly one way or the other about what they ordered, I would not invite them again at least in that same situation.

I think it is interesting that you want to be more deferential in business dinners but not with family and friends.

Feb 25, 2015
wekick in Not About Food
1

dinner host responsibilities

If the host doesn't answer I order middle of the menu. If they say it all looks good or order what you like, then I do that. I don't ask anything about a person's religion. You just follow their lead. Alcohol would be the thing that would come up the most often for me and I don't order alcohol unless they do or say who "would like a cocktail". It is the same thing about appetizers or dessert which has nothing to do with religion. This is all pretty simple.

Again as long as what you do is working for you what do you care what I do.

Feb 25, 2015
wekick in Not About Food

dinner host responsibilities

Let me summarize as this is getting kind of circuitous. Yes I would follow my uncle's or anyone else's lead in what they ordered unless they indicated to me to do otherwise. I think this is what I have stated all along. Cost is just one of many possible reasons that I would do this but I might not know all his circumstances so that is what I would do with him or anyone who invites me to dinner. The company of the person is infinitely more important than my choice of food and beverage and is the reason I am dining with them.

I have a question for you. How do you define what is excessive? Everybody has a different idea about that. You cannot go wrong following your host's lead by following what he orders or invites you to order. For me it is about being considerate of the person who invited you.

This is what I would do. You are free to do whatever you like. If what you are doing is working what do you care what I do?

Feb 25, 2015
wekick in Not About Food

dinner host responsibilities

Yes it would be hurtful to someone to know you put your choice of food over their company. We agree on that.

Where we disagree is that not everyone is in the same circumstance you are in or feels the same as you do about entertaining. You can't expect people to conform to your ideas about entertaining. I will agree that yes people often do have issues. These issues might include That they cannot afford for you to get whatever you want. The greatest happiness is from being with the person and food and drink, as much as I like it plays a pale second fiddle. I have a friend for whom it is a sacrifice for her to buy a McDonalds Mcdouble but it is something she can afford. I would much rather have that with her than lunch at the Ritz. Some people just do not entertain. They spend begrudgingly and at a minimum. That is their prerogative. And then there are those with moral issues. Again their prerogative to pay for what they want to pay for. If you accept an invitation from someone, you accept their level of hospitality.

Feb 24, 2015
wekick in Not About Food

dinner host responsibilities

If I wanted to make sure I got my choice of what I want to eat or drink and that was more important than spending time with him, I would decline his invitation. I would then be free to order whatever I want and he would not have to pay for a dinner he can't afford or something not compatible with his religion for someone that doesn't really value his company over their food/drink choice. Win-Win!

Feb 24, 2015
wekick in Not About Food

dinner host responsibilities

Yes I feel that way too. There are people who do not.

I might ask what they like here at what do you recommend?

Feb 24, 2015
wekick in Not About Food
1

dinner host responsibilities

Communication is always a good thing. Let people know that you want them to order.

Feb 24, 2015
wekick in Not About Food

dinner host responsibilities

Maybe. He is paying. You could always decline.

Feb 24, 2015
wekick in Not About Food

dinner host responsibilities

I don't guess. If it is someone like family or friends I already usually know them well enough to know their thoughts.
If it is someone I don't know, I follow their lead, whether it be drinks, dessert, extra courses-whatever, if they have been gracious enough to ask me to be their guest at dinner. This is for business, social or familial occasions. I want to be equally considerate in each situation. I don't see it as a game and it takes very little effort.

Feb 24, 2015
wekick in Not About Food

dinner host responsibilities

I agree that various types of alcohol enhance the food. I guess you missed that part of my post above. Not only the flavors but the alcohol itself makes everybody relax, enjoy their food and have a good time. In my own home I always have what you drink if I know what it is and cocktails and wine paired to the food I am serving. I keep several kinds of beer including gluten free. Still if I am invited to dinner by someone and they are paying, I would never take the chance of offending my host by ordering alcohol if they didn't, unless they said "please have a drink". The feelings of my family, friends and people I meet in business are much more important than the fact that I must have the right wine with my dinner. There are many personal reasons why people don't order alcohol and they really should not have to go into all of their reasons and ask you not to drink.
They don't order and they don't ask you if you want a drink-=nonverbal cue.

No I don't look at alcohol as just a way to get tipsy. Haha. The flask is just a solution for those who can't do without for whatever reason. You surely know people who carry them. I had an elderly cousin that carried a cane that was a flask. I also know someone who always has their own iced tea with them all the time. The people I know do this because they can't do without.

Feb 24, 2015
wekick in Not About Food

dinner host responsibilities

Yes you might have to follow that too. People with strong moral convictions often will not use their resources in a way that goes against those convictions. They are paying.

Did the host choose the restaurant? I did not read that they did. The mother was from out of town.

It is really surprising to me that this is a problem. It is so simple to follow the lead of the host and so much less restrictive. I guess if you don't know your guest or maybe even if you do, the only way to avoid paying for alcohol (or anything else for that matter) if you don't want to, for whatever reason is to go somewhere that doesn't serve alcohol.

Feb 23, 2015
wekick in Not About Food
1

dinner host responsibilities

People are different and some do mind. Trust me.

Feb 23, 2015
wekick in Not About Food

dinner host responsibilities

Even if a person has puritanical views they have a right to those views. I have cousins that not only don't drink ethanol but also don't drink caffeine. Besides some Christians, Hindus and Muslims don't drink ethanol. There are many other religions that abstain as well. I think when you are someone's guest, it is just considerate and respectful to honor their religious views if it means that they don't want to pay for alcoholic drinks. If they don't drink but don't mind paying for yours, then that is Ok. Also consider that some people object to the expense. I have older relatives who are very generous but have a hard time understanding even a $10 drink. Most of the time the host will say "Would you like a cocktail?" "The lobster is very good here." "Who would like dessert?" This type of cue gives you an idea about what to order.

Is it "necessary to a good meal?" I love all kinds of drinks that enhance what I am eating but if I knew that my host did not want to pay for alcohol, usually their company means more than having an alcoholic drink.

I suppose if you can't do without for one meal, you could get there early and have a drink or bring a flask and slip off to the restroom or not go.

Feb 23, 2015
wekick in Not About Food

dinner host responsibilities

It depends on why they don't drink. If they have a religious reason they might not want to pay for it. Communication is key going both ways.

dinner host responsibilities

I don't think anyone is telling you what to eat. It is just as a guest you should be considerate of your host whether it be their personal beliefs about alcohol or how they spend money when dining out. We periodically take someone out to dinner when they visit and they ordered the most expensive thing on the menu plus any extra that the server might suggest. Now when they visit we take them where it is a capped expense- a buffet of some kind or eat at home. We also took another person out to dinner several times and they ordered "whatever they wanted"- oh look lobster. I love lobster! We quit doing that too.

Feb 22, 2015
wekick in Not About Food

does silence on an rsvp mean they aren't coming ?

Haha!

Feb 19, 2015
wekick in Not About Food

does silence on an rsvp mean they aren't coming ?

I have cut most people out that don't bother and have always imagined that to be a mutually satisfactory solution.

does silence on an rsvp mean they aren't coming ?

I have done that - Please let us know if you are coming by xxxxx. I don't think it made much difference.

Feb 15, 2015
wekick in Not About Food

Should you tip the owner?

I think the idea of not tipping the owner is old fashioned ( in the US). I have known some elderly people who held that notion. I don't know anybody who has that idea now. I tip whoever provides service in a restaurant. Sometimes that tip is tipped out to others so it may not just go to the owners.

Feb 13, 2015
wekick in Not About Food

Dubuque Iowa

Next time we are up that way we will have some new ideas. Thanks.

Feb 10, 2015
wekick in Great Plains

Calphalon Commercial Hard-Anodized Cookware

If you have burned on oil gunk, that is not seasoning. If fat is polymerized properly, it is nonstick.

Feb 07, 2015
wekick in Cookware

Calphalon Commercial Hard-Anodized Cookware

What are the differences that you are talking about in new and old that the new can be seasoned? The current instructions say not to. I don't think you have to season these pans like cast iron, but it can happen. Possibly it takes more time.

The oldest pan I have is marked Commercial Aluminum Cookware Company, which is the precursor of Calphalon. Some others are Calphalon but have the old handles. I have one with the cool v handle so not sure how old it is but at least 10 years old. They all have the smooth finish. Some, the ones I fry with, had developed a patina of use that included places of polymerized fat. For the last few years, I have encouraged that by treating it as cast iron. It might be that the initial surface was less likely to season but through the years, the day to day wear allowed that to happen.

Feb 07, 2015
wekick in Cookware

Need Help Deciding On Kitchen Appliances

There is no brand that is best in everything so many cooks mix brands to get the appliance that best meats their needs. Many prostyle ranges don't have matching appliances. I would read the gardenweb appliance forum in addition to this forum. If you really want to pick one brand Bosch seems pretty good. I have the dishwasher which I like.

Is it okay to...

If they don't have it for purchase or a like product and you purchased the water, I don't see anything wrong with it. I carry stevia drops I add sometimes to tea. It is a tea enhancer. If you are making a drink out of a complimentary glass/cup of water that is different in my view.

Feb 05, 2015
wekick in Not About Food

Calphalon Commercial Hard-Anodized Cookware

It might be that your pans that are 25 years old are just seasoned more. That being said I think the anodizing in newer pans comes off easier. I had to give my long used aluminum griddle away because it did not fit my new range. The replacement is not as nonstick but I am working on it.

Feb 05, 2015
wekick in Cookware
1

Would you buy your neighbors' home cooked food

What is the original policy, home owners or business?

Feb 04, 2015
wekick in Not About Food

Would you buy your neighbors' home cooked food

I have eaten home prepared food. One of the best things I have ever eaten was a pie brought in to a restaurant by a local woman. We used to get rolls made by a local lady at a small grocery. I have bought tamales made at home. I would only buy something from someone's home under very limited circumstances. I'm sure there are people who would though.

This would seem like a nightmare for anyone responsible for so many kitchens. How would you get insurance? I can't imagine such a business being insurable.

Feb 04, 2015
wekick in Not About Food

27" Double Wall Oven...Which one?

My Electrolux goes from 0->350F in 7 minutes but every oven has to have time to heat the bulk of the oven and stabilize. I let it heat a total of 30 minutes for cakes. The thermostat is usually in the top part of the oven which is the hottest part so it beeps ready before it is fully heated. You can get away with something like a casserole or something that takes a long time to cook but for baking that requires even heat you need that time for stabilization. Some ovens that are large or have more bulk take longer to heat but that increased bulk can make the heat more even. You have to look at how the fast preheat works because it can be intense heat that can burn food if it is in the oven. Sometimes the use and care manual mentions this. I would definitely want this to be optional. My oven has rapid preheat but you have to push a button to make it come on. The seven minute preheat above is without using the rapid preheat. It doesn't seem to make that much difference using it. There are a range of preheat times though throughout various product lines. Some can take 45 minutes.

Feb 03, 2015
wekick in Cookware

27" Double Wall Oven...Which one?

It seems that Wolf is the only one that still has these blue enamel issues, at least as far as what I have heard lately. Some blue enamel has never had the issues.

To clarify, the dual fans I was talking about are convection fans in the back of the oven and in electric ovens often have a third element around them. The third element is also called true or European convection. The double fans create more turbulence than a single fan. You are right that there are also cooling fans to protect the electronics. Both of these types of fans can be noisy and the cooling fans can run for awhile after the oven turns off.

Feb 03, 2015
wekick in Cookware