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Food Jokes

Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?

There’s no menu—you get what you deserve.

All I want is a good cup of coffee at home. [moved from General Topics]

I went to coffeereview.com on blackpippi's recommendation. Interesting! But I realized that putting coffee flavors and descriptions into words is still a crap shoot. They have "evaluated" dozens, maybe hundreds, of coffees from around the world, ranging in price from $16.00 to upwards of $1,000 for 8 or 12 oz. Can't say I had heard of any of them, (I gave up- did not go through the whole list) but I think if they had included some reference point to those run-of-the-mill supermarket coffees or Starbucks et.al. kinds of outlets, I would have a better idea if their reviewers really had taste buds similar to mine. I have ordered well-recommended coffees on-line, with incredible reviews, only to have a cup(and the rest of the bag) that was only "OK." The effort was disappointing. I've pretty much gone back to supermarket shelves or local coffee outlets that are known in my area.

Jan 21, 2015
Florida Hound in Cookware

'8 O'clock 100% Columbian' name change??

I contacted Customer Service at 8 O'clock Coffee and gave them the link to this thread. I just heard back from a rep who said, "Everything inside the bag remains the same." Methinks we may have some skeptics among us on this thread, though. Who knows- maybe the 8 O'clock people are jumping in to check on these comments (the rep did not comment on that part of my contact with them).

Jan 19, 2015
Florida Hound in General Topics

Jarlsberg?

(Grandma came over from Norway in the immigration wave, back in the early 1900s.) There was Gjetost as a standard growing up, and Nøkkelost. Like you, I think I also discovered Jarlsberg somewhere in the '70s or '80s. The descriptions of Jarlsberg around the thread are pretty accurate. For my taste buds, definitely milder than full-throttle Swiss. For Gjetost, though, think of a large brown block eraser, but it tastes kind of nut-like. (Mail order via the web, if necessary!)

Jan 18, 2015
Florida Hound in Cheese

All I want is a good cup of coffee at home. [moved from General Topics]

Lots of comments about the temperature of the water, and some specifically that a drip coffee maker does not get the water hot enough for maximum flavor. I've got a drip coffee maker I am very satisfied with. But being inspired by this thread and a couple of others on Chowhound, I experimented several times with getting the brew water hotter- sometimes microwaving, sometimes putting the drip machine's water through twice, before adding the coffee to the basket, etc. Checked the temp, I did get it within the optimum range for what a lot of people say are better results.
My conclusion- I can't tell any difference when the water is hotter. That said, I relax with the drip process, don't get too concerned about the temp, and kick back and enjoy my coffee.
In the process, I grind the beans with a blade grinder and immediately get them into the basket- a gold wire mesh, BTW. (I don't see any difference between this and Bunn paper filters, either, but someone suggested you lose oils critical to the flavor if you use the paper filters, so...)
I tinker with proportions once in a while, I change brands here and there (Current favorite: Major Dickason Blend by Peets. In the past few years, it edges out Dunkin D. On another thread, I have asked Chowhound friends to critique any changes in 8 O'clock 'Colombian Peaks,' and several are talking me out of keeping 8 O'clock in my "rotation."). And I do the whole vinegar clean-out ritual about once every 2 months.
For your "$100... upgrade the coffee maker or buy the best quality coffee?" question, I am in the camp of finding the best coffee for your tastes. Obviously, this thread has many fans of various coffee makers that are much more "upgraded" from mine, though.

Jan 17, 2015
Florida Hound in Cookware

What makes a Diner special?

There are some Chowhounds that just know how to speak the language. Oy. For the sake of the thread, every one of those things you mentioned had a diner or 2 around the corner! (I guess a typical Bungalow Bar route drove by a few dozen...)

Jan 14, 2015
Florida Hound in General Topics

What makes a Diner special?

I have to make my egg creams at home- And with a pretzel rod accompaniment, of course. The diners I have found in Florida are OK, but not for egg creams. The egg cream of my youth was at the soda fountain, not a diner thing, per se. As others have said, the soda fountains and corner candy stores serving egg creams are gone. (So, there wasn't anything to stick around for, so I moved to Florida. :-) )

Jan 14, 2015
Florida Hound in General Topics
1

Want to save a recipe

Magic! I thought the heart was just the same non-verbal "I like this" message that it meant in regular threads. Not sure if I did it "with heart" in the foggy past.
sunshine842's suggestion re: saving to Word is also good, and I've got recipes from various sources throughout my Word documents. But if I can save one occasionally to my CH profile, that is convenient, too. I had forgotten about a couple of saves on my profile until I wanted to save this latest "moist carrot cake."
Thanks, all.

Jan 13, 2015
Florida Hound in Site Talk
1

Want to save a recipe

I have saved recipes to my profile before, but for the moment, I need a refresher course on how to do so. Thanks,
Florida Hound

Jan 12, 2015
Florida Hound in Site Talk

In Search of Imitation Brandy Extract

I went to their website and asked customer service a couple of questions- thanks. I appreciate everyone's suggestions and support.

Jan 10, 2015
Florida Hound in General Topics

In Search of Imitation Brandy Extract

Any sources known to anyone? I found 2 "imitation brandy extracts" on the web- one out of Canada that is affiliated with McCormick, but they don't do mail order. The other out of Colorado, and the product plus shipping is about $16.00. I will use about 1 tablespoon of the stuff next Christmas season, but I am trying to avoid any alcohol in the eggnog recipe. The rum extract I have been using has been OK (yeah, it likely has some alcohol), but I am looking at any options. Thanks!

Jan 09, 2015
Florida Hound in General Topics

Favorite Christmas Food Traditions

I have great memories of eating popcorn balls at Christmastime when I was a kid. The store would sell them wrapped in different colored cellophane, and we'd always hang a bunch on the tree, and grab one here and there, off the tree, throughout the season. Granted, by the end of the season (for us- the "12 days of Christmas,") any popcorn balls that survived the season were getting a bit stale. Another, from childhood- popcorn strings like very folk-art garland, strung round and round the tree. Or fancier- alternate popcorn and cranberries. Haven't done these "traditions" in many years, so I enjoyed reading about your family's popcorn tradition very much!

Jan 04, 2015
Florida Hound in General Topics

Favorite Christmas Food Traditions

My wife added a "P.S." after my time for any editing was past. We do have another Christmas food tradition. At some point over the years, my wife discovered Swedish lingonberries, and now she really looks forward to getting a jar of them in her stocking from Santa, every year. I think they are a cousin to cranberries. She loves 'em, and I am glad Santa can accommodate.

Jan 03, 2015
Florida Hound in General Topics

Favorite Christmas Food Traditions

bblonde, is your grandmother's spiced tea "Russian Tea" by any chance? Sounded close. The versions of "Russian tea" we have made also call for Tang powder, and its a nice warm addition all winter long, even here in Florida.
>We have watched our traditions change over the years, sometimes due to schedule or family circumstances. My family heritage is Norwegian, and I read in a Norwegian cookbook, "No one would think of celebrating Christmas in Norway with less than 14 different kinds of cookies- and quantities of each variety..." Even my Norwegian-American grandmother probably baked "only" about 5 different kinds. Fast forward now, about 50 years, and our household is down to about zero baked cookies... maybe occasionally a batch of simple (and pretty modern American) sugar cookies.
>Another cookie tradition: we hunt the stores for pfeffernusse, the German ginger cookies. Hard to find. Sometimes we come across a variety that has hard vanilla icing and sometimes a variety with powdered sugar.
>My mother-in-law who is not Norwegian, has picked up the tradition of baking the Norwegian Christmas bread- julekage. I look forward to her efforts every year, and invariably a new story about how the bread machine gave her different challenges from the year before. Age 90 and still making the loving effort to make sure the julekaga tradition goes on.
>Christmas Eve is normally when we serve a special eggnog. The eggnog recipe starts out from scratch December 23 and has stages. No alcohol. Rum flavoring. This year, mother-in-law asked to hold off until Christmas morning for the nog. Mother-in-law has a close friend a few houses down who is also a fan of the eggnog, so we bring her her own cupful and visit for a while. (Neighbor stays home by choice. We'd love to have her join in at mom's house, but she always declines.)
>Another seasonal tradition: On the Sunday morning that falls during the Chanukkah celebration, we have latkes for breakfast. Sour cream and/or applesauce as toppers or sides.
>Happy New Year to all,
Florida Hound

Jan 03, 2015
Florida Hound in General Topics

Thick- I mean THICK eggnog recipe wanted

Thanks for the link. I thought I was pretty well up on my eggnog lore, but the Eggnog Riot of 1826 at West Point was a new one for me.
Your story about your friend's family was hilarious- thanks!

Dec 30, 2014
Florida Hound in Home Cooking

Need help tweaking a pancake recipe

I am so glad it worked out! And thanks for your feedbacks and update on your success- so often, Chowhounds don't always let the rest of us in on how things did turn out. Thanks for taking the time.
Yesterday, we had breakfast out at Bob Evans restaurant. They have been advertising an apple-cinnamon pancake with streusel icing dripped all over it, so they hooked me. They were not Norwegian-standard flat. They were a little puffy and very, very (very) good!

Dec 30, 2014
Florida Hound in Home Cooking

Thick- I mean THICK eggnog recipe wanted

[12/2014] OK, it took me 3 years to take 'todao' up on the suggestion of guar gum to thicken my home-made eggnog. The folks at Bob's Red Mill were very gracious in sending me technical support for use of their Guar Gum product. But their suggested range of how much to use was still a bit generous. I went with their low-end suggestion, 5 teaspoons, to my eggnog recipe, and those egg yolks caked up quickly. Next year, I will try 1 teaspoon, and slowly add 1 or 2 more teaspoons if it looks like it might help. My eggnog was certainly thick, which is what I wanted (More than I wanted. Be careful what you wish for.) But all the extended mixing with a mixer and blending in the Ninja blender did not un-thicken the result or eliminate some clumps throughout the eggnog. (a thick, lumpy tapioca consistency). So, I added more milk to thin it all down, and that threw off the proportions of other ingredients.
The final product was actually delicious, but thicker than even I wanted. Definitely an eat-with-a-spoon experience, not a 'drink' this year. But as a chowhound, the adventure of experimenting is part of the fun.
Also, I mentioned the Deb- El powdered egg white product in my 2011 original post. Del-El has discontinued that product and I switched over to pasteurized liquid egg whites, sold in cartons. That part substituted nicely.

Your Thanksgiving Menu for 2014

[Christmas, 2014] Finally tried the Zuni Café Mashed Potatoes at this year's Christmas dinner at the niece's. They were much like any other mashed potatoes and spouse said 'don't save the recipe.' They were actually very good, but as I say, pretty much identical to any other mashed potatoes we have ever had.

Dec 25, 2014
Florida Hound in Home Cooking

Need help tweaking a pancake recipe

I have made pumpkin pancakes many times and they may have been "flat" most of the time. My Norwegian-American upbringing taught me that when it comes to pancakes, the definition is flat-as-a-pancake. The advice from others on this thread is great, but my "2 cents" would be to keep it as simple as possible if you're celebrating Christmas with a special breakfast- enjoy those around the table and the specialness of the day, no matter how the pancakes turn out. (Gotta go whip up the egg whites for a very labor-intensive eggnog recipe...)

Dec 24, 2014
Florida Hound in Home Cooking

Best use of Gorgonzola/Blue Cheese

There was another Gorgonzola thread in 2013 that had lots of interest- maybe checking this out will also give you some ideas and inspiration: http://chowhound.chow.com/topics/903974

Dec 07, 2014
Florida Hound in Cheese

any secrets to a great tuna fish sandwich?

"I still like my tuna prepared the way my mom used to make it for me when I was a kid..."
The tunafish sandwich just seems to be one of those comfort foods where the "mom" ingredient adds so much to our attachment and enjoyment of the food.
From childhood...Mom's version of the Tuna Salad Sandwich: I tried to re-create her creation a few years back, and with some modifications came close to Mom's classic. For your consideration:
Prepare a jar of Onion Mayo in advance: 1 envelope of Onion Soup mix, mixed well into an entire 32 oz jar of regular mayonnaise. Store it in the fridge for this recipe and many other uses. As its own sandwich spread, it’s pretty good.
For the tuna salad mix: 1 can tuna, drained,
1/4 Cup onion-mayo mix (per above)
1 carrot, grated in thin peelings, peelings cut to about 1/4" long
1 celery stalk, chopped
1 capful lemon juice
salt
pepper
1 teaspoon sweet relish
Sprinkling of Splenda (Mom may have used a little sugar, "back in the day.")
Mix it up well, spoon it onto your favorite bread or toast, and IMHO---> childhood taste bud heaven.
Memories include this concoction soaking through the bread and the wax paper by lunchtime at the Elementary School.
Many variations on this thread, over several years, sound interesting and worth trying.

Dec 07, 2014
Florida Hound in Home Cooking

What makes a Diner special?

That other Chowhound thread has some good reads. I found a comedy bit from John Mulaney re: mischief with a diner jukebox. Hilarious, but he throws in the f-word, which detracted for me. To decide for yourself, and laugh: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rqQu...

What makes a Diner special?

I like to feel like I'm back in the 1950s, or at least "simpler" times. No putting on airs, as many posters have described in different ways. Its kind of noisy, the aisles are long and narrow. Counter seating or booth. The outside should have shiny metal, with some artful pleats. Foodwise, I have great memories of some good matzaball soup in a diner in Hartsdale, NY. Someone mentioned those carousels of mile-high cakes- yes! Great hashbrowns or overly greasy hashbrowns- at a diner, I'll savor them either way.

Dec 06, 2014
Florida Hound in General Topics

What to eat with cottage cheese?

We recently found another smoothie with cottage cheese to pass on to you: NBA basketball great,Roy Hibbert's "Ripped Like Roy Protein Smoothie," which calls for 1/2 cup of cottage cheese blended with stuff like a cup of frozen strawberries; also, blueberries, cherries, chia seeds, pecans, whey powder- wow!(This one does call for ice, too) Its a huge blender-full, and pretty good! The link:
http://www.nba.com/media/nbafit/Roy_H...

Dec 06, 2014
Florida Hound in General Topics

Your Thanksgiving Menu for 2014

Thanks so much for posting, and for starting the thread in the first place. Your "final product" was pretty close to your earlier plans. The duck confit gravy sounds like something we could explore for another gathering- any how-to's for this (or a link)? Your dinner sounds like a success all around. Your comments about "... way too much...one cheese would have been enough..." and "perfect but probably unnecessary..." just reminded me of the "groaning board" aspect of Thanksgiving Dinner that is part of the tradition. And to be reminded of the blessing of abundance should cause us to be very Thankful! We take our dinner plates and full cabinets so for granted the other 364 days a year. So I think the "I love this recipe but we didn't need..." is an important part of the holiday- just how blessed we truly are.

Dec 01, 2014
Florida Hound in Home Cooking

Your Thanksgiving Menu for 2014

Hi dkennedy,
Waiting for your Thanksgiving report- of course your menu and recipes were a hit, yes?

Dec 01, 2014
Florida Hound in Home Cooking

Does anyone actually put stuffing inside the turkey anymore?

Update 2014: Again, the dinner was elsewhere this year, but the family asked for spouse's traditional fruited stuffing. I assumed the crockpot would be the container of choice, but after the stuffing was baked in a big roasting pan in the oven, we transported it in a few layers of heavy-duty insulated cloth bags, the kind with Velcro closures. After my bragging on Chowhound about her stuffing and the success in a crockpot, I found out she doesn't think the crockpot is up to the task after all- says it was too mushy the couple of times we've done it that way. (Who knew? I thought it was great.) This year, she was satisfied with the texture and consistency, and the insulated bags did keep the food warm enough for the 2 hours drive to dinner.

Coffee with Salt

I will add one more 2014 vote for a pinch of salt. Love my coffee. I think I started adding salt after Iread this thread a few years ago, but I can't really remember. Many years ago, coffee seemed to upset my stomach, so any possibility that salt calms that down or takes out some bitterness, etc., and I had to try it. Just part of the routine now. I add it to the ground coffee in the basket, whether for just myself in the morning or a houseful of company.

Nov 09, 2014
Florida Hound in Home Cooking

Do You Enjoy Crisp Waffles, Pancakes and Crepes?

Belgian waffles, especially, need to have a crispiness on the outside, soft inside. A soft, limp Belgian waffle disappoints.

Nov 09, 2014
Florida Hound in General Topics

Your Thanksgiving Menu for 2014

There are many Thanksgivings that don't come to mind when I try to pull up memories. One certainly stays pretty clear, though- After the passing of my father-in-law, about 10- 12 years ago, someone felt that sitting around the table with a painful absence would was not what should happen on that particular Thanksgiving. A campout to St. Augustine, FL was organized, and it was an entirely different weekend for all of the various children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, and my mother-in-law to relate, play together, work together, and huddle in the cold together... and that was the whole idea. It was my first taste of deep-fried turkey. And lo, these several years later, all remains a very positive Thanksgiving memory in spite of its painful timing.
My condolences to you both.