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Follow-up to the thread on catering to in-laws' Midwestern tastes (boy, did I open a can of worms!!!)

I think Porker was imagining what my MIL is thinking about my daughter's celiac, not telling us what he thinks! Actually, my in-laws do understand that celiac is permanent and serious. They just don't necessarily want to have to deal with it! I'm sure they're thinking, "Better her than us!"

Mar 05, 2014
lauriejgs in Not About Food
2

Follow-up to the thread on catering to in-laws' Midwestern tastes (boy, did I open a can of worms!!!)

Hey, Porker, I really appreciate the wisdom from you and everyone who weighed in. I had no idea it would generate such discussion, but it's made me realize I am not alone and it really could be a lot worse. My in-laws are great in other ways, so maybe this is more of my own problem and I should just let....it....go.

Mar 05, 2014
lauriejgs in Not About Food
2

Follow-up to the thread on catering to in-laws' Midwestern tastes (boy, did I open a can of worms!!!)

Very, very wise words.

Mar 05, 2014
lauriejgs in Not About Food
1

Follow-up to the thread on catering to in-laws' Midwestern tastes (boy, did I open a can of worms!!!)

They like them well enough but have noted that they can be rather selfish at times.

Mar 04, 2014
lauriejgs in Not About Food
2

Follow-up to the thread on catering to in-laws' Midwestern tastes (boy, did I open a can of worms!!!)

OP here. I e-mailed my MIL tonight to let her know the time of the dinner and she said she had checked the menu and it looked good. I'm sure there will be some grumbling at the restaurant, but I will try to seat myself at the other end. I think I will point out to any grumblers that my daughter always manages to find something she can eat and hope they take the hint. My husband doesn't get nearly as annoyed by this stuff as I do, although he did speak to them about the need to make a little more effort when feeding my daughter. I guess it's because my parents are easy and he's just used to them.

Mar 04, 2014
lauriejgs in Not About Food
2

Follow-up to the thread on catering to in-laws' Midwestern tastes (boy, did I open a can of worms!!!)

I think she's actually oblivious. I will just have to grit my teeth and smile. Thanks for the wisdom.

Mar 04, 2014
lauriejgs in Not About Food
1

How do you feel about people who season food that you have carefully prepared?

It irritates me, but it's their palate.

Mar 04, 2014
lauriejgs in Not About Food

Catering to relatives who don't want "exotic" food

OP here!!! I am overwhelmed by the number of responses and truly appreciate each and every one. I have posted an update in this forum that gives a little more background about what is going on here. Now I have to figure out if I tell my MIL how I feel. My FIL will not care at all how I feel, but my MIL is more emotional.

Mar 04, 2014
lauriejgs in Not About Food

Catering to relatives who don't want "exotic" food

I am here and I am overwhelmed!!! I actually put up another thread where I gave some more background to this story. My husband is not bothered by his parents' habits and thinks we should just rise above it all and not make a big deal of it.

Mar 04, 2014
lauriejgs in Not About Food

Follow-up to the thread on catering to in-laws' Midwestern tastes (boy, did I open a can of worms!!!)

They take into account her needs when it suits them. For instance, they organized a birthday dinner last year and they did it a restaurant they know has GF food and that they like also. But this year they made another party and it was at a place near them that had a party room. It had a buffet and no GF. When I asked my MIL if there was going to be something there for my daughter to eat, she said she didn't know but I could call and ask. It did not occur to her to ask. At times in the past, she has asked on my daughter's behalf, but I think she is just tired of my daughter having celiac and having to make accommodations so she's making less and less effort. She sees that my daughter is alive and well and can't seem to be bothered anymore.

Mar 04, 2014
lauriejgs in Not About Food

Follow-up to the thread on catering to in-laws' Midwestern tastes (boy, did I open a can of worms!!!)

Probably not!

Mar 04, 2014
lauriejgs in Not About Food

Follow-up to the thread on catering to in-laws' Midwestern tastes (boy, did I open a can of worms!!!)

So do I tell them how I feel?????

Mar 04, 2014
lauriejgs in Not About Food

Follow-up to the thread on catering to in-laws' Midwestern tastes (boy, did I open a can of worms!!!)

I am the OP who posted about my in-laws and their aversion to what they call "exotic" restaurants. Let me clarify a little bit of what is really going on here regarding my son and his birthday dinner. My parents recently celebrated a big anniversary and we weren't able to join them for dinner due to the horrible weather we've been having. So we decided to do a celebratory dinner this coming weekend that would encompass both their anniversary and my son's birthday. My mother-in-law happened to call us last weekend to see if we wanted to join them at Red Lobster for one of their other grandchildrens' birthdays. We had prior plans, so declined. Then MIL asked if we could do it this coming weekend and I mentioned that we already had planned to do a birthday/anniversary dinner with my parents. She asked if they could join us and I said of course. She had to add the "Nothing too exotic" reminder after that, so I said I would book a table at an upscale seafood restaurant that we all like.

Fast forward a day, and the seafood place could not accommodate us. I decided on a new Greek restaurant that is getting rave reviews. I checked the menu and there is something for everyone--fish, chicken, beef, rice, etc. I gave my MIL the news and this was her response. "I guess we can find something to eat there."

My husband told me that when he spoke to her a few days later, she again told him, " I hear we're going to a Greek restaurant. I hope there's something for great-Grandma to eat." He then reminded her that great-Grandma, who was a world traveler in her day, has been to Greece and that she and my FIL have also! She said she hadn't thought of that. Then he asked her if she checked out the restaurant menu online and she said no.

I need to add that whenever she and my FIL invite us out to dinner or over to their house, there is not much thought given to my teenage daughter, who has celiac disease. She has repeatedly asked me to bring food with me when we go there, as though she cannot be troubled to even grab a loaf of GF bread at the supermarket. I have asked her very nicely, more than once, to please just get GF versions of things for my daughter so that she is not made to feel singled out by us hauling her food around. It is very, very easy to find GF versions of things these days, and I have been very specific about brands so she knows what to get. It has made us feel bad that there has been such disregard for my daughter's needs, which is why it pisses me off royally (yes, here is my agenda) that we are expected to cater to their bland tastes during an event to which THEY INVITED THEMSELVES. OK, I'm done venting. I really am not trying to be a total bitch here, but my in-laws' self-centeredness has taken on greater dimensions with each passing year and it is harder and harder for me to cater to them. By the way, they are not old. They still travel plenty and stay active. It is not a matter of them being frail and unhealthy. Thanks, all, for giving me such thoughtful answers to this dilemma. I appreciate it, even though it's sometimes painful to have the finger pointed at me!

Mar 04, 2014
lauriejgs in Not About Food
5

Catering to relatives who don't want "exotic" food

Hello, there. My in-laws occasionally invite us to meet them for dinner at either a diner or Red Lobster, as that is the kind of food they like (it isn't our first choice). But every time I invite them to meet us at a restaurant, their first response is always, "Okay, but nothing too exotic." It doesn't even matter if the first suggestion out of my mouth is something I know they like, such as Chinese food. They always have to add, "Good. As long as it's not too exotic."

A few years ago they reluctantly came along with us to an Indian restaurant after my son's game, as he was hungry and it was close by. They grumbled and complained the entire time about the smell of the food, even though we got them plain chicken and rice. We never tried Indian again with them. Then last year, for our anniversary, they joined a big group of us at a Persian restaurant that had plenty of simple dishes such as chicken and rice and bread. But at that meal, Great-Grandma, who is always with us on these occasions, was flummoxed by the concept of kebabs and could not get past the fact that her chicken was on a skewer. That ruined the meal for all. At the end of the night, my mother-in-law said, "Next time we'll go with Chinese, okay?"

So...next weekend is my son's birthday and I have invited both sets of grandparents to join us at a local restaurant of my son's choosing. The first thing my in-laws said was, you guessed it, "Nothing too exotic, please." If my son has his heart set on something "exotic," like Thai, do I have to kowtow to my in-laws? I don't ask them to change their plans when they invite us to places that we don't like.

Mar 01, 2014
lauriejgs in Not About Food
1

Great Tribeca/Soho ethnic restaurant?

Thanks, Cheeryvisage and foodwhisperer! Looks like we're going to Lotus Blue!!!

Apr 03, 2012
lauriejgs in Manhattan

Great Tribeca/Soho ethnic restaurant?

I'm meeting a friend from out of town and would like easy access to the Holland Tunnel. We both love ethnic cuisines (we have fond memories of eating Greek food, tapas, etc.). I'd like to find the perfect little place to take her that isn't too casual nor too fancy. I'm thinking something like Periyali but a little further downtown. Any suggestions?

Apr 02, 2012
lauriejgs in Manhattan

gluten-free in north/central NJ?

A family member was just diagnosed with celiac disease, and I'm looking for restaurants in north or central NJ that can accommodate us. I'm aware of the major chains that have gluten-free menus, but I'd also love to hear about independent gems that were able to accommodate you without a problem. Thanks!

Aug 01, 2010
lauriejgs in New Jersey

Good lunch spot in Hoboken?

I'm meeting a friend from out of town for lunch in Hoboken next week. I haven't been there in years and am wondering if anyone has any recommendations. Nothing too formal and nothing too casual (i.e., a take-out joint or deli-type place). We're not fussy about cuisine. Thanks!

Jun 18, 2007
lauriejgs in General Tristate Archive