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What to read, what to know, what will make you sound smart at cocktail parties.

Shrimp Po’ Boys in Peril, Revenge of the Barista, Dogfish Does Maple

Water Crisis Makes It Harder to Get a Buzz: A broken water main leads to a "boil order" for 2 million people in and around Boston over the weekend, making it hard to get tasty beverages and ice. Popular watering hole the Eastern Standard offers a "Water Crisis Cocktail List" and Grub Street Boston keeps a list of places where Bostonians can still find a cup of coffee. (Tests later show the water was fine all along.) via the Boston Channel and Grub Street Boston READ MORE

Beer Nerds Cry, Christopher Kimball Throws Down, McToys Taken Away

Toys That Lead to Ruin: In an attempt to stop bribing kids to eat fast food, Santa Clara County in the San Francisco Bay Area has decided to ban the promotional toys that come with McDonald's Happy Meal and other chains' kid meals that don't meet certain nutritional standards. via the New York Times

I Feel Better, Starbucks: Food prices apparently went way the hell up in March, rising 2.4 percent (the most since January 1984). But that didn't scare off Frappuccino fans, who helped Starbucks post massive second quarter earnings, quite possibly signaling the end of the recession. via the Huffington Post and the Big Money

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Hormone-Fed Chickens Make You Impotent; Salt Remains the Demon

Food Network’s Goin' Edgy: More details about the Food Network's new channel, the Cooking Channel, hit this week: a lineup of younger, hipper, more demographically diverse shows. One will feature three Canadian "hoser" guys in plaid jackets, who build taco vending machines. via the New York Times READ MORE

Pulitzers, Hexane-Laced Veggie Burgers, and Whining About Free Beers at Lunch

Sam Adams' Fauxtisanal Campaign: Sam Adams tries to make itself seem puny in new advertisements, because it’s cool now to be a craft brewery. Then some stats came out showing it’s in the top five breweries behind D.G. Yuengling and Pabst. Whoops. via Slate's The Big Money

Draft Wine Goes Big: A number of San Francisco and LA restaurants, and at least one (DBGB) in New York, are offering wine on tap, as a greener alternative to bottles. via Ethicurean

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GMO’d Enviropigs, Achatz’s Egomania, RIP Boxed Wine

Canada Makes Magic Pigs: Canada has green-lighted the "limited production" of a genetically modified pig, dubbed the "Enviropig," which excretes less polluting poop. Up next: Golden-egg laying geese? Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? via Discover

Chicago Schools On the Food Revolution Bandwagon: Starting in June, Chicago Public schools will be serving healthier lunches with more whole grains, dark green and orange veggies, and leaving "'dessert or candy-type' ingredients off the breakfast menu." via Chicago Sun Times

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Peep Shows, De-Snootinizing French Food, Hello Kitty Wine

Clown College: McDonald's opened a "Hamburger University" in Shanghai, China, to train managers for its expected thousand-store expansion in the country over the next six years. via Nation's Restaurant News

EPA Actually Does Something: The EPA joined the FDA in investigating bisphenol A's effects on the environment and human health. via CHOW.com

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Standwiches, Hegans, Chile Grenades

Let's Eat Snow Leopard, Too: The Atlantic bluefin tuna got no reprieve when a trade ban proposed at the Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species of Wild Fauna and Flora failed to pass. via Scientific American

HFCS Leads to Fat Guts: Adding more fuel to the high fructose corn syrup debate, a Princeton University study found that the sweetener is not just like sugar as the Corn Refiner's Association advertisements claim, and leads to considerably more weight gain. via Care2

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Steve Jobs’ Mozzarella Head, Sexy Butcher Backlash, Katie Lee

Suds Dud: A story on how to better use your dishwasher shot to the top of the New York Times' "most emailed" list. The biggest appliance offense: using "10 to 15 times the amount of soap" you actually need. via New York Times

Michelle Obama Throws Down: The first lady laid the smack down on junk food titans: "This isn't about finding creative ways to market products as healthy," she said. "It's about producing products that actually are healthy." Zing! via Washington Post

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Breast Cheese, Famine-Based Marketing, and Biggie Smalls

Breast Practices: NY chef Daniel Angerer starts making cheese from his wife’s breast milk, and serving it as a part of a canapé with figs at his Chelsea restaurant, Klee Brasserie.  Kinda gives the expression “know thy producer” a whole new meaning. via New York Post

Operation Snake Oil Salesman: The FDA sends warning letters to several food makers for having “misleading” healthy claims on their labels, including Diamond nuts, Drumsticks, and POM.  Some wonder if the feds went overboard: who really thinks Drumsticks are healthy? via MedicineNet READ MORE

Crop Mobs, Rose Gray, and Jonathan Safran Foer

Welcome to the CHOW Crib Sheet, your weekly recap of recent food news and events. Now, a look at our top stories:

Hot News Feed

Farm Party
Twentysomethings in North Carolina spontaneously amass to clear rocks and haul mulch in “Crop Mob,” a farming version of Flash Mob. What, were pillow fights and zombie bar crawls not doin’ it for them? via New York Times

Smart Shoppers
In an experiment at SUNY Buffalo, mothers shopping in a fake grocery store bought less junk food when the prices were jacked up with taxes. When healthy food was discounted, they bought more of it, however they used the savings to buy more junk food. So the idea of subsidizing healthy food isn’t a great idea, apparently, in a world where 10-cent mini peanut butter cups exist. via Grist

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