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What to read, what to know, what will make you sound smart at cocktail parties.

HFCS Tries to Rebrand, Fish Die, Chang Is Awkward

Crazy Dead Fish Photos: Hundreds of thousands of dead fish blanketed the bayou in southern Louisiana, prompting people to wonder if the oil spill was to blame. Investigations are under way, but local authorities say this stuff used to happen even before the spill. Seriously? via the Washington Post READ MORE

Lady Gaga’s Meat Bikini, Honey Smuggling Ring Stung

Just in Time for Halloween: Frankenfish: The FDA will decide if it will approve genetically altered salmon in a few weeks. The fish are said to grow twice as fast as a regular farmed Atlantic salmon. Biologists are worried about what could happen if the altered fish get into the wild and breed with non-altered fish. via ABC News

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Bayless Bitchfest, Deep-Fried Beer Fling, Yelpers Still Good for Mocking

More Reason to Be Smug About Eating Organic: A study comparing fields of conventional and organic strawberries over two seasons found that organic berries had "about 10 percent more antioxidants, ascorbic acid and phenolic compounds" than the conventional ones, and that the organic field had better soil health. via the Washington Post READ MORE

Food Blogger Flogged, Dr. Claw Boiled

Big Brother Doesn't Want You to Be Fat: The FDA has proposed national guidelines (similar to those already in effect in New York City) that would require restaurant chains with over 20 locations to post calorie info for menu items. via LA Times READ MORE

David Chang’s “Bitchface,” Sodas in Drag, Egg Calamity

The Egg Industry Cracks: Wright County Egg based in Galt, Iowa, recalled 380 million eggs due to salmonella contamination, one of the biggest recalls in recent history. via Wall Street Journal READ MORE

Flesh Eating for 3.4 Million Years, Signs of the Apocalypse, Hooters

Next Up, Apocalypse?: News surfaced in the UK that meat from the offspring of cloned cows ended up in the food supply last year. Food products from cloned animals are supposed to "pass a safety evaluation and gain authorization before they are marketed in Europe." Additionally, genetically modified canola was spotted growing wild along roadsides in North Dakota, an "unprecedented" escape into the wild of GMOs. via BBC News and the Cornucopia Institute READ MORE

White Bread Is a Loser, Lay’s Localwashes, Bittman’s Plastic Shard Soup Conundrum

Wheat Bread Finally Wins: According to Nielsen Co., wheat bread dollar sales were higher than white bread sales for the first time ever. Wonder Bread sales are down 5 percent; Sara Lee 10 percent. Just in time for the collapse of global wheat production. via Chicago Tribune and the New York Times READ MORE

Carnivore Job Discrimination, Nose-Candy Candies, Extremely Caloric Travesties

Meat Eaters Need Not Apply: An Internet flap ensued after the Sweetpea Baking Company in Portland, Oregon, tweeted a help-wanted ad that specified, "Being vegan is also required." After a debate about the legality of the requirement ensued in Tweetsville, the bakery tweeted a kinder, gentler ad: "The ideal candidate would also be vegan." via Eater National READ MORE

Chef Fight Club, Despicable Infant Formula, Haute Bong Tokage

Red Meat Fans, Rejoice: A study by the Harvard School of Public Health revealed that steaks, burgers, and other nonprocessed red meats might not be a heart disease risk after all; it's the processed kinds like bacon and sausage that you've gotta look out for. The study suggests that the high levels of salt in them might be the real culprit. via Wall Street Journal READ MORE

Dudes Dissin’ Dude Food, Wolfgang Smurf, Badass Pastry Chef Advice

Cook to Bang was the Last Straw: In a humorous article, Josh Ozersky (ironically, given his duditude) says that "dude food," has gotten out of hand, citing examples ranging from "Dudai Lama" Guy Fieri to the "aggressively vile" blog-turned-book Cook to Bang. via Time READ MORE