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Dear Helena,
My office has a holiday party every year, with an open bar. This is funded by a collection beforehand, to which everyone contributes based on his pay grade. My expected contribution is on the higher end of this scale. In the past I contributed to this fund, and drank heavily. Now I am in recovery and will not be partaking. Must I contribute?
—Bitters and Soda
Dear Bitters and Soda,
I am assuming that this is a voluntary (albeit very expected) contribution. And if it is voluntary, you are not required to contribute, particularly if you have strong personal reasons for not wanting to do so. Here's how to tell the organizer without making yourself unpopular. "Don't overshare," advises a female friend of mine who is in recovery. In fact, there's no need to reveal that you have had problems with alcohol at all. Just say, "For personal reasons, I would rather not give money that goes to pay for alcohol." A polite person will not press you for further information.
However, if you intend to go to the party yourself (which I recommend, because it's an important bonding opportunity), it's only fair that you contribute something. Suggest another way you could help: "I would like to bring chips and dip/put on a skit/make decorations instead."
Dear Helena,
These days, money is pretty tight at my company. In past years the office holiday party took place in a cool bar with catered food and free drinks. This year, I feel I have no choice but to hold it at the office, and I'm asking all employees to contribute $20 to pay for drinks and snacks. I got kind of a negative reception from people when I put out the "save the date" email. Is it bad etiquette for employers to ask employees to pitch in for the holiday party?
—Times Are Tough
Dear Times Are Tough,
People will get upset if you ask them to pay for their own party, for the same reason that people get upset when charged for bread in a restaurant: Nobody likes to pay for something that they expect to be free, and that was free in the past. Ditto for asking employees to bring a dish, which for busy professionals is akin to asking them for money. It's better to cover costs out of your own pocket, or ask the bosses to do so, than require employees to pitch in. If you don't want to do that, simply skip the holiday party this year. It's supposed to be a perk, not a burden.
I do find this to be a disturbing trend and agree that it is extremely tacky. Businesses are doing it to their customers too - I got an e-mail recently that a business in my area is having a one-year anniversary party - and it's potluck. My first thought was, "you have to be kidding me!" A business should be thanking its customers for their patronage, and you do that by providing some...+READ
I do find this to be a disturbing trend and agree that it is extremely tacky. Businesses are doing it to their customers too - I got an e-mail recently that a business in my area is having a one-year anniversary party - and it's potluck. My first thought was, "you have to be kidding me!" A business should be thanking its customers for their patronage, and you do that by providing some refreshments - you don't do it by asking your customers to pay for it by buying food, or buying ingredients and cooking food! I would never attend such an event and I doubt I'd attend a company party that asked me to contribute (fortunately I'm at the age where I don't really care about office politics--guess there are some good things about getting older). I'm at the point where if I even hear the world "potluck" one more time, I'm going to scream.-COLLAPSE
What's next, paying for office supplies? Water and electricity? How about contributing to coworkers' salaries?
@Bart Hound
As a contractor, I agree that government employees have to pay for everything. That's what we're doing for our government office parties: one is a potluck, and the other is lunch at a restaurant, at which we all pay for our meals.
However, the company for which I work does not throw lavish parties or give away gifts with the company logo. We don't have holiday parties; we don't...+READ
@Bart Hound
As a contractor, I agree that government employees have to pay for everything. That's what we're doing for our government office parties: one is a potluck, and the other is lunch at a restaurant, at which we all pay for our meals.
However, the company for which I work does not throw lavish parties or give away gifts with the company logo. We don't have holiday parties; we don't get holiday bonuses; we don't get gifts. Perhaps I work for the wrong company! Hmm. Thanks for the tip off!-COLLAPSE
Stop whining and split the bill. I work for the NYC Dept of Ed and as such, we have absolutely no "slush" fund for parties. Everything we do we pay out of pocket. I don't usually like the food that is brought in but you know what? I contribute anyhow to show my appreciation for my colleagues.
The company I work for progressively cut down on holiday parties and eventually discontinued them altogether (in 2001 they rather cynically used 9/11 as an excuse to scale down the party). Some of the employees stepped in and organized a potluck in which participation is voluntary. The people who want to go, go. The people who don't, don't. I think this is fine. What I don't think is fine is for...+READ
The company I work for progressively cut down on holiday parties and eventually discontinued them altogether (in 2001 they rather cynically used 9/11 as an excuse to scale down the party). Some of the employees stepped in and organized a potluck in which participation is voluntary. The people who want to go, go. The people who don't, don't. I think this is fine. What I don't think is fine is for management to organize a party and ask the employees to pay for it. If you're the host, you pay for the party.-COLLAPSE
If a company cannot afford a holiday party of some sort, that company is already out of business.
You folks should try working for the Federal Government. Not only are you hated by Congress (also Federal employees), hated by a large portion of the public, and have a 2 year pay freeze, you have to pay for every party/shirt/soda/coffee you have. Every cent of an office Christmas party is paid for out of the employee's pockets as is everything else like coffee or a shirt with your office logo on...+READ
You folks should try working for the Federal Government. Not only are you hated by Congress (also Federal employees), hated by a large portion of the public, and have a 2 year pay freeze, you have to pay for every party/shirt/soda/coffee you have. Every cent of an office Christmas party is paid for out of the employee's pockets as is everything else like coffee or a shirt with your office logo on it. Government contractors throw lavish parties and give their employees shirts and jackets with company logos on them. They also often have free soda, coffee, etc in their break rooms. All of this is funded by the Government through their contracts, but it's a perk that actual Government employees don't share. I'm sure it's all different if you're a congressman though!-COLLAPSE
It is tacky to ask employees to contribute! If the company can not afford the same type of holiday party they had in the past then just cut way back. Bring in pizza & salad for lunch, and the company president should make a small speech thanking employees for working hard during hard economic times. There is absolutely no need to have alcohol at a company function, besides it puts the company at...+READ
It is tacky to ask employees to contribute! If the company can not afford the same type of holiday party they had in the past then just cut way back. Bring in pizza & salad for lunch, and the company president should make a small speech thanking employees for working hard during hard economic times. There is absolutely no need to have alcohol at a company function, besides it puts the company at risk as the employees drive home.
Employees want to feel appreciated; asking them to pay will breed resentment to owners/upper management. If the company can not afford anything then the employees will be collecting unemployment in 2012.-COLLAPSE
I'm kind of shocked that the comments below seem to indicate that people expect to pay for their own holiday party. I would be really annoyed and offended if I were expected to shell out for the office holiday party. It's supposed to be the employer that pays for that. If they can't afford it, they shouldn't have one, like Helena says above. An optional potluck is one thing, but pressuring...+READ
I'm kind of shocked that the comments below seem to indicate that people expect to pay for their own holiday party. I would be really annoyed and offended if I were expected to shell out for the office holiday party. It's supposed to be the employer that pays for that. If they can't afford it, they shouldn't have one, like Helena says above. An optional potluck is one thing, but pressuring everyone into paying for a social event that most people don't want to attend anyway? Bah humbug.-COLLAPSE
I feel it's greedy of the first person to suggest that now that they themself no longer drinks, they should be able to stop contributing. When you were partaking heavily, you were getting more than your share (and perhaps were contributing a smaller share of money in the past). So others were likely making up the balance for the excess you consumed. Now that you consume none you should contribute...+READ
I feel it's greedy of the first person to suggest that now that they themself no longer drinks, they should be able to stop contributing. When you were partaking heavily, you were getting more than your share (and perhaps were contributing a smaller share of money in the past). So others were likely making up the balance for the excess you consumed. Now that you consume none you should contribute nothing? Should you not be contributing for a few years to make up for your prior consumption funded by others? Also, your message does not state that the money is used exclusively for open bar, so you should also be contributing for the cost of the venue and food.-COLLAPSE
Our team Christmas do is always a late lunch. We all slope off around 2.30 or 3pm to a local restaurant doing a Christmas menu (pre-booked). We each pay for our food in advance, usually about £25-£20, and the managers pay for the drinks out of our company entertainment budget. It works well - we get a bit of time off work to make up for having to buy our own lunch. Then again, our team are pretty...+READ
Our team Christmas do is always a late lunch. We all slope off around 2.30 or 3pm to a local restaurant doing a Christmas menu (pre-booked). We each pay for our food in advance, usually about £25-£20, and the managers pay for the drinks out of our company entertainment budget. It works well - we get a bit of time off work to make up for having to buy our own lunch. Then again, our team are pretty social and friendly anyway.-COLLAPSE
At one time, the company Holiday party was something to look forward to - lunch at a great local resto. With all the budget cuts, our Holiday party was the first to go. Now, we have a holiday pot luck where everyone is expected to bring something or contribute money to buy a main course item. I miss the holiday parties of old, but it sure beats being laid off or taking a pay cut!
Give me a break and split the check 27 ways....Jesus you got your monies worth when you were an alcoholic or weighed 400 lbs amd ate like a linebacker!now that you had a heart attack or had a gastric bypass and eat like a bird and don't drink you no longer want to split a check!
I've worked at plenty of offices that do holiday potlucks well. Generally, the company has provided drinks and a main course (Honey-Baked Ham straight from the nearby store or a catered turkey from a grocery), and invited everyone to bring a pot-luck item that is a family heirloom recipe. All the companies where I've done this are ones with diverse workforces; it ends up being a celebration of...+READ
I've worked at plenty of offices that do holiday potlucks well. Generally, the company has provided drinks and a main course (Honey-Baked Ham straight from the nearby store or a catered turkey from a grocery), and invited everyone to bring a pot-luck item that is a family heirloom recipe. All the companies where I've done this are ones with diverse workforces; it ends up being a celebration of EVERYONE's heritage.
A good follow up as the owner of the company is to do a day-after breakfast, prepared and served by managers on-site. A waffle iron, toppings, and big bowl of Marion Cunningham's yeast-raised waffle batter have been the stars of several such breakfasts.-COLLAPSE
My office has switched to a holiday lunch the last couple of years to save money, and it's actually been a big success. The fact is that most people view coming to an office event on a weekend evening as a bit of a burden, no matter that they get free food and drink. By doing it a lunch, we're able to do it at a relatively nice restaurant and it still costs less than providing a catered party or...+READ
My office has switched to a holiday lunch the last couple of years to save money, and it's actually been a big success. The fact is that most people view coming to an office event on a weekend evening as a bit of a burden, no matter that they get free food and drink. By doing it a lunch, we're able to do it at a relatively nice restaurant and it still costs less than providing a catered party or dinner. (Not as cheap as beans and weenies, obviously, but much cheaper than previous years.) And everyone seems happy to get a nice, festive lunch and not have to give up yet another December weekend evening for a work event. Part of the purpose of a holiday party is to show appreciate to our employees, so a potluck or pay-your-own event would defeat the purpose in our case - this is a way to cut costs and still make everyone feel appreciated.-COLLAPSE
20.00 is not expensive. A glass of wine out will cost 6.50. If you wanted less what would you serve beans & weenies? If the current economy holds fast we will all be eating beans and weenies on a regular basis.
$20 per person for drinks and snacks? That seems pretty pricey for a party in the office.
If you can't afford to host a fancy party out, then scale back the Christmas celebration and host something simple at the office, or cancel it all together. If it is a pay your own way deal, make it a totally optional get-together where employees can meet at a modestly priced restaurant near the office...+READ
$20 per person for drinks and snacks? That seems pretty pricey for a party in the office.
If you can't afford to host a fancy party out, then scale back the Christmas celebration and host something simple at the office, or cancel it all together. If it is a pay your own way deal, make it a totally optional get-together where employees can meet at a modestly priced restaurant near the office for lunch, say, or opt out if they don't want to go. But don't pass the price of a nice party down to the employees, for whom times are also likely tight.-COLLAPSE
Where I work, since 2008, most office parties/outings are pay-from-your-own-pocket (and also optional). Everyone seems resigned about it, though I notice the attendance is pretty low at these events. I wasn't around when this policy was started, so I don't know what the reaction was then...I guess people were just happy they weren't laid off.
Unless it's enough money to really make a difference to you and your family, contribute the $ and attend and eat or drink whatever you choose to. Honestly, please don/t give up your career for $100. Maybe some people are drinking, maybe others are eating. The smart ones are keeping sober and chatting up (and endearing themselves with) the top brass. These office parties give the COO/CEO. etc., to...+READ
Unless it's enough money to really make a difference to you and your family, contribute the $ and attend and eat or drink whatever you choose to. Honestly, please don/t give up your career for $100. Maybe some people are drinking, maybe others are eating. The smart ones are keeping sober and chatting up (and endearing themselves with) the top brass. These office parties give the COO/CEO. etc., to evaluate their chosen people while relaxed. You could not pay for an opportunity like this if you think about it and prepare for it.-COLLAPSE
At one place I worked (gov't so the party is always on us) I was trying to help lower the employee complaints even about the celebrations-
So- no more restaurants or full catering. We did pot luck sign up for what you will bring. No booze was allowed during workday- even lunch - so no problem there. ( list/menu i put out so we got all needed items- they could adjust within reason) or chip in $...+READ
At one place I worked (gov't so the party is always on us) I was trying to help lower the employee complaints even about the celebrations-
So- no more restaurants or full catering. We did pot luck sign up for what you will bring. No booze was allowed during workday- even lunch - so no problem there. ( list/menu i put out so we got all needed items- they could adjust within reason) or chip in $ by x date so I can buy things to add.
This also stopped the complaints about a couple folks who would never contribute but always showed or dint like anything. I announced I would be at the door no participation meant no participation. I did cook main items at home or made up the 6ft subs there.
The complaining happened only once more then as one last holdout had to payup at the conference room door. Only monthly bday cakes were sometimes not home made. Future "pot luck" events were happy.
Surely the i don't drink alcohol at work functions comment should be enough and contributing to a non alcoholic beverage or food items should be good. People with allergies or other medical restrictions generally ask for/bring items they can have, or contribute to things they can't eat all the time.-COLLAPSE
Regarding the first question: If the open bar is the only thing employees contribute to, then no, you don't have to contribute if you don't drink. But if employees contribute to other parts of the party, then you should contribute to the parts in which you plan to partake.
"Due to no intrest the Christmas party has been cancelled."
How'd ya like to see that, hell yeah!