Producers of a reality TV series for an unnamed cable channel have put out a call for a "single, attractive and charming culinary enthusiast" for a new show that sounds like The Bachelor with chef's whites. The chosen candidate will be paired with a group of aspiring female cooks, one of whom will land the aproned bachelor by having better kitchen chops than her competitors.
"You MUST have a strong background in cuisine (food writers and connoisseurs welcome as well!), and be the kind of man who thinks that there’s nothing sexier than a woman who can cook her way into your heart," says the come-on, which promises "spectacular meals with the perfect woman."
Sounds great, where do I report? Not so fast, bucko. You have to include a recent photo with your submission, due November 9 (hey! that's Wednesday!). And if you aren't panty-meltingly hot, you're not getting anywhere. Judging from the current crop of famous food-lebrities, you will want to combine the sexiness of:
Anthony Bourdain: OK, so we all got a look at his crags in that magazine ad. Dude is rangy and confident and manly. Thumbs up.
Alton Brown: No lady can resist a sexy geek. He won't just make love to you. He'll pull out all his instruments and figure out the scientifically proven best way to rock your world. See also: Christopher Kimball.
Michael Ruhlman: This dude mostly writes books, so you may not have gotten a gander at him. You should. Blue-blue eyes, sweet smile, hip-dad relaxed style.
Michael Pollan: Chrome dome ignites Lex Luthor fantasies!
Rocco DiSpirito: Pouty lips and a perfect penis? (NSFW link.) Where do I sign?Image source: Rocco DiSpirito on Dancing with the Stars