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Dear Helena,
My mother-in-law is cooking Thanksgiving, and I think she's probably going to get a grocery-store turkey injected with weird saline and chemicals. How can I steer her towards something more sustainable/natural?
— Happy Turkey or No Turkey
Dear Happy Turkey,
Choosing a turkey in the 1600s was simple: There were different breeds, but only one type—farm-raised and organically fed. These days, sourcing a turkey is a complicated decision that often speaks to your class, age, education, and politics. You can get a mass-market fowl, such as Butterball; spring for a pricier organic option; or pay big bucks for a heritage turkey.
However, if you are the guest, and not the host, this decision is not yours to make. When you're invited to dinner, you should not dictate what ingredients your host should use or how those ingredients should be prepared (I deal with the exceptions to this rule here). And at Thanksgiving, it's particularly important not to mess with your host's menu, because people may have a strong sentimental attachment to things being done a certain way. This can mean having canned cranberry sauce that still retains the shape of the can, or a factory-reared turkey with lots of fluffy white breast meat.
Of course, I can understand why this turkey might revolt you. It leads a life of unnatural suffering, is pumped full of chemicals, and the end product has as much taste as a wad of Kleenex. Marianne Reimers, co-owner of Black Walnut Woolens, a small Oregon farm that raises heritage turkeys, says that she is no longer capable of eating a mass-market turkey. "It's like this white, pasty, fake meat."
But you should understand that your mother-in-law may be equally grossed out by your preferred bird. Reimers says that even though she and her husband produce what many consider to be top-of-the-line turkeys, hand-fed since birth, her mother-in-law says the gamy taste of heritage birds reminds her of "the horrible old mutton they were forced to eat during the war years."
Furthermore, while you may feel morally outraged by a Butterball, others may feel a similar outrage over the cost of the alternative. Mass-market turkeys can cost as little as a dollar a pound. A heritage turkey can cost seven times as much. And be fussier to prepare. Heritage turkeys are best soaked in brine for two days in advance, says Reimers, which means going to the hassle of finding space in an overcrowded fridge.
So if you can't insist on the type of turkey you want, can you at least refuse to eat the industrial meat? It is tempting to declare yourself an "ethical carnivore," but this will make you look like an elitist food snob. So do what anybody does when confronted with a dish they abhor: Choke down a few bites, then fill up on sides.
I think that some people throw around the term, "Disgusting" a little too freely. I've been a "Foodie" for pretty much all of my adult life (I'm 48) and I was a chef in some pretty nice restaurants for about 10 years. I appreciate gourmet food from nearly all cultures and cuisines but I also have no problem eating a frozen pizza, a corn dog from a box, or a plain old tuna sandwich made from...+READ
I think that some people throw around the term, "Disgusting" a little too freely. I've been a "Foodie" for pretty much all of my adult life (I'm 48) and I was a chef in some pretty nice restaurants for about 10 years. I appreciate gourmet food from nearly all cultures and cuisines but I also have no problem eating a frozen pizza, a corn dog from a box, or a plain old tuna sandwich made from Starkist tuna on white toast.
I have certainly been served food that I would consider "Disgusting" and I realize that everybody has their own definition of the word. But how picky are you that you consider a properly cooked mass produced turkey to be disgusting? It's not dramatically different from a more naturally produced bird. I've made and been served some very expensive turkey and while it usually had more flavor in the breast meat it wasn't like the difference between eating a Foster Farms chicken breast and a freshly killed wild duck. And I've eaten some overcooked heritage turkey that wasn't as good as a properly cooked Butterball turkey. The biggest difference is in how it's cooked rather than what it was before it was cooked.
A few years back a family friend gave my parents a freshly killed Canadian goose for my mom to cook along with the usual 50 cent a pound turkey that my mom always buys. She roasted it and while it was nicely browned, juicy, and otherwise properly cooked, it was so gamey that the only person who liked it was my dad, (He'll eat anything). I used to hunt and I've eaten lots of quail, dove, duck, pheasant, and various wild game mammals so I'm no stranger to what wild animals taste like. But this goose was just too strong in flavor for us to eat. But I still wouldn't quite call it "Disgusting". I like gamey to a point, but this was just a little too gamey. Disgusting is a word I reserve for food that has a spoiled or an otherwise very strong flavor that I find offensive. But a bland turkey is just uninteresting, not disgusting. I can eat uninteresting.
If you don't like the relatively bland flavor of a mass produced turkey breast then eat the dark meat. The dark meat of a mass produced turkey still has more flavor than the breast meat of a naturally produced and minimally processed turkey. If the breast is dried out or lacking in flavor it's pretty easy to douse it in gravy or pile a little mashed potatoes and stuffing on top of the bite on your fork.
If you're such a hard core food snob that you can't deal with a mass produced turkey, properly cooked or not, then you have some other issues in your life to deal with. Refusing to eat or strongly objecting to eating a mass produced turkey, (especially one that's properly cooked) is about as ridiculous as a spoiled rotten child only eating french fries and peanut butter sandwiches or refusing to eat green beans because, "They're yucky!" Grow up and realize that thinking that everything you eat has to be top drawer, best of the best and that anything less is "disgusting" is childish at best and makes you an obnoxious food snob at worst.-COLLAPSE
My mother has been buying our Thanksgiving turkey for the past couple of years from Whole Foods. For any roast/ feast we have, she'll get the meat from there. During the winter, we usually keep refreshments in the garage to save fridge space. It's like a walk-in freezer practically.
Last year, I spent Thanksgiving with my boyfriend's family and we had a hugeee turkey that was soaking in brine...+READ
My mother has been buying our Thanksgiving turkey for the past couple of years from Whole Foods. For any roast/ feast we have, she'll get the meat from there. During the winter, we usually keep refreshments in the garage to save fridge space. It's like a walk-in freezer practically.
Last year, I spent Thanksgiving with my boyfriend's family and we had a hugeee turkey that was soaking in brine for two days outside in a cooler, (I think it had snowed? I was really cold). I have no idea what kind of turkey it was, I think it weighed at least 12lbs, maybe 15lb. The turkey was alright, but there were so many other foods, that I didn't even eat that much turkey.
If you live on the East Coast or anywhere else with a true winter, I'm willing to bet it will be cold enough by this Thanksgiving to keep an "icebox" outside.-COLLAPSE
Nailed it, Helena! Her house, her turkey, her choice.
Recently I've actually cooked two turkeys for Thanksgiving. I cook a fancy one (heritage, or at the very least, free-range and "natural") for my family Thanksgiving. But I also cook a frozen mass market turkey that a down-and-out friend gets from the food bank. He has no means to cook it, so I do it, make some sides, and he invites a few of...+READ
Nailed it, Helena! Her house, her turkey, her choice.
Recently I've actually cooked two turkeys for Thanksgiving. I cook a fancy one (heritage, or at the very least, free-range and "natural") for my family Thanksgiving. But I also cook a frozen mass market turkey that a down-and-out friend gets from the food bank. He has no means to cook it, so I do it, make some sides, and he invites a few of his friends over. The fancy turkey is better, but not the other one isn't that horrible, if properly cooked (i.e. not overcooked).-COLLAPSE
One day I realized that I never did eat the turkey at Thanksgiving for years...there were so many delicious, once-a-year side dishes that I just never got around to the meat.
For what it's worth, I think you can still make a Butterball taste pretty darn good, and if you only eat a couple of slices one day a year it's not going to kill you. I'm somewhat of a food snob and bought a heritage turkey last year for T-day. My mother-in-law thought it was so wonderful that Butterballs were on sale for $.59/lb at the supermarket that she bought us one, so I had two turkeys....+READ
For what it's worth, I think you can still make a Butterball taste pretty darn good, and if you only eat a couple of slices one day a year it's not going to kill you. I'm somewhat of a food snob and bought a heritage turkey last year for T-day. My mother-in-law thought it was so wonderful that Butterballs were on sale for $.59/lb at the supermarket that she bought us one, so I had two turkeys. Naturally, I did what any food nerd would do - a side-by-side comparison, with the same prep (dry brining) and cooking method. Guess what? Even I had a hard time deciding which one tasted better. I'd still buy the heritage bird again for other reasons (more humane, better for the environment, etc.) but honestly, they both tasted great.-COLLAPSE
idea #1. make your own,for your own, later: my husband and I eat an organic bird on Sunday following the holiday, at which time we eat my aunt's butterball "it's really moist because I cook it with wine!" that means she braises it. It's a little odd, but we shut up.
idea #2. offer to buy and cook the bird. My Mom (who actually proves that a butterball can be pretty decent in the hands of a...+READ
idea #1. make your own,for your own, later: my husband and I eat an organic bird on Sunday following the holiday, at which time we eat my aunt's butterball "it's really moist because I cook it with wine!" that means she braises it. It's a little odd, but we shut up.
idea #2. offer to buy and cook the bird. My Mom (who actually proves that a butterball can be pretty decent in the hands of a good cook) has finally handed over x-mas eve to me. I roast the turkey whose price shall remain secret at home and deliver to her house before the guests arrive. No turkey mess for her to clean up, and at 75, she's happy not to have to lift it.-COLLAPSE
Personally I think turkey sucks -- including organic and heritage varieties. Last year I roasted some chickens. This year, I'm thinking duck. Already looking forward to it much more than I ever did when it was still turkey day. Freedom!
Thanksgiving's my favorite holiday, but there was a stretch of time when I went to a relative's in another state because she'd identified the event as one particularly important for personal family reasons. Her cooking is terrible, though, and it was kind of rough. I made the best of it and consoled myself by throwing a bonus Thanksgiving in March (by which time people were ready to eat turkey +...+READ
Thanksgiving's my favorite holiday, but there was a stretch of time when I went to a relative's in another state because she'd identified the event as one particularly important for personal family reasons. Her cooking is terrible, though, and it was kind of rough. I made the best of it and consoled myself by throwing a bonus Thanksgiving in March (by which time people were ready to eat turkey + again), and invited good friends, particularly those who had endured difficult meals on the calendar Thanksgiving. The bonus Thanksgiving mealtime stories of major and minor holiday disasters were entertaining and poignant.-COLLAPSE
Perhaps, as others have said, you can offer to buy the turkey (either raw or cooked) and take it to her house and/or have the family Thanksgiving at your house.
If none of those work, I'd suggest that you sit there and eat a few bites of her disgusting turkey and, rather than dwelling on how offensive you believe it to be, concentrate on giving thanks that your mother-in-law is willing to have...+READ
Perhaps, as others have said, you can offer to buy the turkey (either raw or cooked) and take it to her house and/or have the family Thanksgiving at your house.
If none of those work, I'd suggest that you sit there and eat a few bites of her disgusting turkey and, rather than dwelling on how offensive you believe it to be, concentrate on giving thanks that your mother-in-law is willing to have you in her home, and cook for you and entertain you and include you and attempt to please you, even though you clearly believe her efforts to be beneath you.
Speaking as a mother-in-law myself, I suspect that your superior attitude comes through regarding things other than the once-a-year holiday bird. And I suspect she's noticed it.
But she's still gracious enough to overlook it, and nice enough to invite you to her home anyway. For that, you should be thankful. I know many mothers-in-law that would not be so accepting.-COLLAPSE
I think the way to get around this is to tell your MIL that you would like the buy the turkey for her as a way of helping her with the cost of the meal. No one can complain about a free turkey!
Consider, maybe ML is sick of hosting thanksgiving, so why not take over the whole thing from her?
Seriously. A good friend of mine can't get her daughters or DILs to relieve her. Think about it.
Hey m looking to buy a Turkey fryer which online service wil provide that, i heard www.mybantu.com is good becoz it was halloween personal assistant this time so any reviews?
Well the obvious answer is to boycott Thanksgiving at your MIL's until she gives into your demands. Make a list of demands, email to her, and then wait her reply. If she refuses then you will need to hold your spouse (and kids) hostage and not let them go to MIL's for Thanksgiving. Don't worry she is older than you so she will probably die first. Winner!
Isn't that brine a form of chemical enhancement?
What is weird about saline?
I'd be thankful I wasn't having Thanksgiving at a soup kitchen with strangers. It's one dinner- there are 364 others.
Whoever said you can please all of the people some of the time was obviously excluding holidays, birthdays, weddings, and funerals. If aunt bertha has to have visible can markings on her cranberry sauce, and cousin tim will only eat free range organic green beans, well... its gonna be a long afternoon and/or evening. As Rodney King said, "can't we all just get along?"
Good job on this one...+READ
Whoever said you can please all of the people some of the time was obviously excluding holidays, birthdays, weddings, and funerals. If aunt bertha has to have visible can markings on her cranberry sauce, and cousin tim will only eat free range organic green beans, well... its gonna be a long afternoon and/or evening. As Rodney King said, "can't we all just get along?"
Good job on this one Helena.-COLLAPSE
I like the suggestion of offering to bring a more palatable turkey, and if it were my mother, this just might work. Sadly, my thanksgiving is cooked by in-laws who made it clear 14 years ago that my culinary-school-backed "input" was not needed or appreciated. This little foodie eats cremated turkey, canned cranberry jelly and factory-made pie off paper plates with plastic forks, and drinks...+READ
I like the suggestion of offering to bring a more palatable turkey, and if it were my mother, this just might work. Sadly, my thanksgiving is cooked by in-laws who made it clear 14 years ago that my culinary-school-backed "input" was not needed or appreciated. This little foodie eats cremated turkey, canned cranberry jelly and factory-made pie off paper plates with plastic forks, and drinks heavily to drown her sorrows. One year I decided to have my own Thanksgiving at Christmas, until spouse looked forlorn and said "turkey again? So soon?" Sigh ...-COLLAPSE
Thanksgiving is about tradition, and the old ways are comforting and a link to the past. It's more important to keep everybody happy. This goes double for your mother-in-law!
You just have to suck it up. Make a better turkey the next day so you can have good leftovers at home. I do a big Thanksgiving dinner every year with friends and neighbors, since we have no family in the area (been doing this for 15+ years now). Last year, I made 2 turkeys. One from a local (in the same county as me) farm that cost around $100 (it was a BIG one, forget how many pounds). The other...+READ
You just have to suck it up. Make a better turkey the next day so you can have good leftovers at home. I do a big Thanksgiving dinner every year with friends and neighbors, since we have no family in the area (been doing this for 15+ years now). Last year, I made 2 turkeys. One from a local (in the same county as me) farm that cost around $100 (it was a BIG one, forget how many pounds). The other was a free Butterball from the grocery store that my neighbor brought over for me to cook for her (she wanted to take lots of leftovers home, she's an ER nurse and doesn't get the chance to cook very often). People actually ate more of the Butterball than the other. It was a little disappointing. They were both cooked perfectly, moist with crisp skin. I won't be buying a $100 turkey again, I'll go back to the middle option of a free-range for around $2.50/lb-COLLAPSE
Excellent advice from Helena. I can't count the number of times I had to suck it up and take a few bites of a dinner I wasn't fond of to keep from insulting the host. But there was always some side dish there that could make up the difference - or a stop on the way back where my wife and I could grab something more to our taste.
Worry not: You cancel out the chemicals if you wear a sustainable Pilgrim costume.
A dollar a pound for mass-produced turkey? It's usually well under that around the holidays, I know people who buy several turkeys at the holidays because they're so cheap.
Chemicals aside, a perfectly-cooked "factory" bird, especially if someone else made it, tastes MUCH better than a badly-cooked "sustainable" one. The owner of Black Walnut Woolens sounds like a real snob -- I hope her MIL doesn't read what she said about her.
In my neck of the woods, we shoot our own. And I hate the taste of the white meat..
They don't have plump breasts because they are so active. The dark meat is better, but I prefer the white meat on any bird unless I am having fried chicken.
Because this is a family tradition dating back to forever, I buy a turkey breast and bake it at home because I cannot go without a turkey sandwich.
To the letter writer: If you can't keep quiet and eat your mother-in-law's cooking politely for one meal, then you have a much bigger problem than eating a chemically enhanced turkey. Perhaps you can appreciate the effort she's putting into the meal - even if that effort doesn't meet with your high standards. Remember, it's called THANKSgiving.
Would it be possible to endure her "meal" and then have the real one the day before or after in your own home? Even if it's a few days later, after she leaves--if she's staying with you or something? I'd be pretty pissed if all I had to eat for T-giving is slop-soup casseroles, marshmallow sweet potato crap, and dried-out bird. If I had to attend a function like that, I'd be saving my appetite...+READ
Would it be possible to endure her "meal" and then have the real one the day before or after in your own home? Even if it's a few days later, after she leaves--if she's staying with you or something? I'd be pretty pissed if all I had to eat for T-giving is slop-soup casseroles, marshmallow sweet potato crap, and dried-out bird. If I had to attend a function like that, I'd be saving my appetite for the good food I made myself. Pretend to eat your MIL's grossness, but don't rave over it. Just be polite about it, say thanks, and claim you're eating light because of your upcoming colonoscopy or something.-COLLAPSE
Great answer.
Spring for the turkey and then watch the implosion happen. She'll probably cook it like one of those doughy birds and life will be over. Smoked turkeys are fan freaking tastic. I'm afraid that the only thing to do is to suck it up, and then volunteer now for next year's thanksgiving so you can introduce them to a fabulous heritage free range bird. If you do it that way maybe she'll return the...+READ
Spring for the turkey and then watch the implosion happen. She'll probably cook it like one of those doughy birds and life will be over. Smoked turkeys are fan freaking tastic. I'm afraid that the only thing to do is to suck it up, and then volunteer now for next year's thanksgiving so you can introduce them to a fabulous heritage free range bird. If you do it that way maybe she'll return the favor in kind another year!-COLLAPSE
I've always gone with a Smoked Turkey. I have no idea how "processed" the meat is before hand, but, I am just so distracted by the moist, delicious ham-bird-thingy.
A few simple words fix this. 'How about I spring for the turkey this year? I want to treat you. You work so hard!'
In my neck of the woods, free-range turkeys are easy to find at ~2.50ish a pound. That's about as far as I'm able to convince my extended family to upgrade though.