These Fake Food Twitter Streams Are Lame

Whether or not you give a crap who Ruth Bourdain is, lots of people think he/she is hilarious. Other food-world faux tweeters, not so much. Case in point: foulmouthed "Bobby Flay," who until recently, when the account was suspended, tweeted as _@BobbyFlay_. Evidence of unfunniness: "Some shell got into the mixing bowl when I tried to add an egg. I have never felt such scathing self-hate."

Here are three more that miss the mark:

JASPER SLOBRUSHE / @JasperSlobrushe
Parodying: Pretentious SF ice cream shop Humphry Slocombe and its owner-chef, Jake Godby

Persona: Dadaist, hostile

The kind of nonsense you will find there: "Beat the heat with our new take-home pints! Today's flavors: crusty bunny, hot pastrami & pine nut, bar towel, and spit."

FAKE RESTAURANTGIRL / @danyellefreeman
Parodying: Irritating food writer Danyelle Freeman (Restaurant Girl, NY Daily News)

Persona: Clueless, rich, bumbling

The kind of nonsense you will find there: "If Ferran Adria sprayed those protestors with pepper I bet they wouldn't be complaining."

FAKE PAULA DEEN / @FakePaulaDeen
Parodying: Southern-fried shill-and-chef Paula Deen

Persona: Jolly, butter-drenched, diabetic

The kind of nonsense you will find there: "Fatty oils and water don't mix, y'all. How do I know? When I take a dump sometimes the oil slick just won't flush down."