How to Fix a Flubbed Tip

Dear Helena,
A few months ago, I was invited to a high-end New York restaurant to review it. Usually when reviewing restaurants, I pay my own expenses, but in this case the meal was comped. Still, I wanted to leave a tip. I had forgotten my credit card at home, so I simply left a $10 bill, all I had in my wallet, and we went home. Later, upon calculating the tip, I realized that it should have been well over $25 considering the actual cost of the meal and drinks. I looked like a cheapskate scoffing in the face of their good deed. I still feel terrible about this as they really pulled out the stops to make me feel welcome, and I want to do something in return to make up for my misstep. Is it gauche to send money via PayPal with a memo like "Thanks for the meal, sorry about the shitty tip"? How does one remedy this?
—Haunted By My Non-Tip

Dear Haunted,
You're right to want to correct your mistake. Fixing a flubbed tip is the ethical thing to do. But it also ensures you won't get a frosty reception should you return. Servers always remember non-tippers, says Max Belkin*, a server with 25 years of experience and the creator of the blog Waiternotes. "They come in six months later and I'll have a feeling of dread," he says.

Your server has no way of knowing that your mis-tip was an accident. He may assume you're a 10-percent-tipping tightwad, or he may conclude that you're just not a very nice person. According to Belkin, on occasion devious diners like to "accidentally" pocket both copies of the credit card receipt. The check gets paid because the restaurant has already run the card, but the server gets stiffed.

Of course, people do flub the tip for honest reasons, like farsightedness. Belkin explains: "Older people for vanity don't have their glasses on and get the eights and zeroes on computer printouts confused." But the usual explanation is, of course, alcohol. I must confess that I recently did not tip for this reason. I had two cocktails in quick succession. The check arrived and I drunkenly wrote the tip only on the "customer copy" of the receipt, which I pocketed.

If the server suspects your mis-tip was an accident, he is powerless to point it out, says Belkin. There is no polite way for a server to tell a customer that the tip is unsatisfactory. It's like complaining to someone because you feel he didn't give you a nice enough gift.

Most people never return to augment their own tip (some do return to augment someone else's bad tip, but that's another topic). It happens "about 5 percent of the time," says Belkin. This is unsurprising, since if you're drunk, you may not remember how you got home, let alone whether you left an appropriate gratuity. In my case, it was only when reviewing my credit card statement, days later, that I realized my mistake.

As for remedying the situation, it only takes a phone call. Ask the restaurant to add the tip to your credit card. "Technically we're supposed ... to have a signed and totaled receipt in our possession," says Belkin, but most restaurants will overlook this and add the tip to your total on their computer. (If the place only accepts cash, you'll have to mail a check.)

Usually you can find the name of the server on the receipt, says Belkin, especially at bigger places. At smaller places, they can probably figure out who served you based on your description of the server or even where you were sitting.

In my case, the restaurant is just a few blocks from my house, so I stopped in with an envelope of money marked with my bartender's name. I left it with the hostess. She didn't seem overcome with gratitude, but I felt that my karma went up a few notches.

*He asked that his real name not be used.

You can browse all of Helena's Table Manners columns by topic here. Follow CHOW on Twitter, and become a fan on Facebook.

POST A COMMENT |15 Comments

COMMENT

  • I had a check in the amount of 14.08, I took a folded $20 bill from my wallet and stuffed it in the ticket holder. When she picked it up I told to keep the change and was very delighted by my generous gratuity. She said " oh wow" but not thank you, this seemed odd. Later that evening after loading a cart of much need groceries I discovered I gave her the folded 20 that was for shopping, the thin...+READ

    I had a check in the amount of 14.08, I took a folded $20 bill from my wallet and stuffed it in the ticket holder. When she picked it up I told to keep the change and was very delighted by my generous gratuity. She said " oh wow" but not thank you, this seemed odd. Later that evening after loading a cart of much need groceries I discovered I gave her the folded 20 that was for shopping, the thin crisp $100 bill folded neatly inside the twenty.
    I told her keep the change but didn't a receipt. We left.?
    Now I've been putting off buy food to long so I went straight to the store
    I called and the general manager was gone, I asked them to call her. She claims that indeed a one dollar was inside. What can we do guys to fix this.-COLLAPSE

  • In all my 20 years as a food writer, I never ever let a restaurant know I'm a reviewer. Too often, they fall all over you with great service and freebies. Then you have no chance to see how a typical customer is treated. I'm shocked that this writer would accept a free meal as payment for a review! That's totally amateur... blogger or not!

  • Sounds like the guy was a blogger. Sorry if it shocks your sensibilities, but bloggers accepts comps all the time.

    Helena, I'm sorry to hear you're back to passing off your bad behavior as "tee hee, I was drunk." I thought you'd become more responsible.

  • I once made a horrendous error and it cost me big-time. At the end of dinner celebrating my Dad's 95th, our party of 4 received very good service from a terrific server. As I was paying the bill, I slipped $100 in one pocket to hand to the waiter, and $5 in another to give to the parking attendant. Yep you guessed right...when I got home I realized why the parking attendant was so over-the-top...+READ

    I once made a horrendous error and it cost me big-time. At the end of dinner celebrating my Dad's 95th, our party of 4 received very good service from a terrific server. As I was paying the bill, I slipped $100 in one pocket to hand to the waiter, and $5 in another to give to the parking attendant. Yep you guessed right...when I got home I realized why the parking attendant was so over-the-top appreciative. I immediately called the restaurant, told the maitre d' that I'd accidentally made a mistake in my tip (I didn't try to get the $100 back from the parking attendant), and asked him to tell the waiter that I'd return the next day to correct my error. I was so embarrassed that when I returned the next day I gave the waiter $150. So my tips for the evening were $255 on a $400 check.-COLLAPSE

  • I dined with a girlfriend who wanted to put her share on credit card. I just slipped cash w/tip into the folder. My friend dashed off as I was still finishing my wine. The waiter came over to the table and asked me if his service was ok? I of course said 'excellent'. Then he let me know that the visa slip contained zero tip (it was actually a zero with a line through it - so no 'mistake') and my...+READ

    I dined with a girlfriend who wanted to put her share on credit card. I just slipped cash w/tip into the folder. My friend dashed off as I was still finishing my wine. The waiter came over to the table and asked me if his service was ok? I of course said 'excellent'. Then he let me know that the visa slip contained zero tip (it was actually a zero with a line through it - so no 'mistake') and my tip only equated to about 10% of the totally. I was mortified and pretty pissed at my friend for stiffing this guy. I made it right, but I thought his approach was professional and well warranted. I only wished my friend had still be there to be as red faced as I was!-COLLAPSE

  • First of all, if the reviewer is on the staff of a newspaper or other publication, the employer should pay for the meal. If the reviewer is 'invited' then she should pay for her meal.
    Secondly, if you under tip and realize it later, you should go back in person ASAP, if the same server isn't working then find out when they work next and arrange to apologize in person. Anything else is cowardly...+READ

    First of all, if the reviewer is on the staff of a newspaper or other publication, the employer should pay for the meal. If the reviewer is 'invited' then she should pay for her meal.
    Secondly, if you under tip and realize it later, you should go back in person ASAP, if the same server isn't working then find out when they work next and arrange to apologize in person. Anything else is cowardly and shirking your responsibility as a human being.
    On the other hand, I tip 20%, unless the server is very good or very bad. A tip is a compliment for a job well done. A really good server introduces him/herself, gets the orders right, and returns a few times (without hovering) to check on beverages, etc. -- my tip would be higher. If the server is rude, slovenly, too chatty, or careless in the job, then the tip will be lower and I'm not ashamed to admit it. If tips are shared, then the other servers will probably complain to the server or the management.-COLLAPSE

  • Actually I recently experienced a server coming back to check on our "bad tip". We had about 8 of us and paid cash, and the service was rather good. One of our party miscalculated the tip and we left what amounted to 7%. The server stopped back and ever so politely said something along the lines of "Sorry for the question, but I was just wondering if everything was ok with your service. Is there...+READ

    Actually I recently experienced a server coming back to check on our "bad tip". We had about 8 of us and paid cash, and the service was rather good. One of our party miscalculated the tip and we left what amounted to 7%. The server stopped back and ever so politely said something along the lines of "Sorry for the question, but I was just wondering if everything was ok with your service. Is there anything we can do better?" It triggered in our brains that we hadn't calculated the tip right, and he ended up with a 25% tip without him being rude. I thought it was a great move and appreciated the catch before we left the restaurant.-COLLAPSE

  • I agree with the remedy of Awwshucks. Face-to-face is the way to get the tip to the right person, if possible. Otherwise, the waiter might not associate your face with the increased tip (for future service, too).

    I've accidentally under-tipped, then returned to the restaurant and gave the server the extra amount with that explanation. Made both of us feel better!

  • I wonder if the review was good?

  • I was going to ask why it would be unethical for a reviewer to receive a comped meal, then smacked my forehead when I realized it would seem to obligate the reviewer to sing high praises despite any negatives actually experienced.
    In the case of the tip, if the restaurant was in my home town, I most likely would go in person during my waiter's shift and make sure he/she receives it directly from...+READ

    I was going to ask why it would be unethical for a reviewer to receive a comped meal, then smacked my forehead when I realized it would seem to obligate the reviewer to sing high praises despite any negatives actually experienced.
    In the case of the tip, if the restaurant was in my home town, I most likely would go in person during my waiter's shift and make sure he/she receives it directly from me. That ensures they actually get the tip and that they remember me in the future!-COLLAPSE

  • I was of the impression that reviewers not only paid for their meal, but to the maximum extent possible tried to remain anonymous in order to be able to write an impartial review.

    Perhaps this is something Helena can address in a future posting as many of us on chowhound are in effect amateur reviewers, and chowhound specifically prohibits us from making our informal "affiliation" with...+READ

    I was of the impression that reviewers not only paid for their meal, but to the maximum extent possible tried to remain anonymous in order to be able to write an impartial review.

    Perhaps this is something Helena can address in a future posting as many of us on chowhound are in effect amateur reviewers, and chowhound specifically prohibits us from making our informal "affiliation" with chowhound known when making a reservation.-COLLAPSE

  • I under-tipped a couple years ago... I did bad math (calculated 10% and forgot to double it) and realized it late that night. I felt awful, because our server was actually quite good. I went back to the restaurant the next day with the extra few bucks in an envelope, labeled with the server's name (it was on the credit card receipt). I asked for the manager and explained the situation. She was...+READ

    I under-tipped a couple years ago... I did bad math (calculated 10% and forgot to double it) and realized it late that night. I felt awful, because our server was actually quite good. I went back to the restaurant the next day with the extra few bucks in an envelope, labeled with the server's name (it was on the credit card receipt). I asked for the manager and explained the situation. She was shocked that I'd taken the time to come back, but very appreciative. I figure it was my mistake, so I was the one responsible for correcting it. It was only a few dollars difference (dinner was $25 or so) but that shouldn't matter.-COLLAPSE

  • Yeah, I'm with picawicca that the shocking thing here is a reviewer being INVITED by the restaurant for a comped meal.

    I this case I say do nothing. The restaurant already knows you are a sleeze. The restaurant probably considered the small type part of the MO.

    Make up for it by not only lavishing praise for the comped meal in the review as well as singling out the waiter as exceptional.

    ...+READ

    Yeah, I'm with picawicca that the shocking thing here is a reviewer being INVITED by the restaurant for a comped meal.

    I this case I say do nothing. The restaurant already knows you are a sleeze. The restaurant probably considered the small type part of the MO.

    Make up for it by not only lavishing praise for the comped meal in the review as well as singling out the waiter as exceptional.

    Then again, anyone with a blog these days considers themselves a "reviewer".-COLLAPSE

  • Along the same lines, I'd be curious to hear about over-tipping after over-imbibing. I'm sure it happens on occasion. Especially with cash.

  • The lousy tip is the least of your problems. It is highly unethical for a restaurant reviewer to accept a comped meal.