Triple Double Oreos Made Me Depressed

Triple Double Oreo Cookies

Triple Double Oreo Cookies

I Paid: $3.29 for a 13.1-ounce package (prices may vary by region)

Taste: 2 stars

Marketing: 3 stars

There has been a fair bit of hype surrounding the release of the new Triple Double Oreo, but when you get right down to it, there's not really much to be excited about. Nabisco has taken a regular Oreo cookie, and—wait for it—stuck on an extra layer of chocolate cream filling and then a third chocolate wafer cookie, to make an Oreo that's roughly two-thirds larger than the standard-issue model.

The "chocolate" nature of that extra layer of filling may be what's got people so excited, but there's good news and bad news about that. The good news is that it tastes precisely like the "vanilla" layer, so the overall Oreo experience is essentially unchanged: a mouthful of cocoa-flavored crumbles and some slightly sweetened, gooey, caulklike filling for balance. The bad news is that the "chocolate" layer tastes precisely like the "vanilla" layer, so what's the point? You're just eating exactly the same cookie, only larger.

And while it has long been acknowledged that Oreos ain't diet food, there's something exceptionally depressing about eating three of these things and thinking: "Well, there go 300 of the most empty, processed calories I could possibly consume." Also, "Serving Size 1 Cookie" my butt. I can think of three people who might be able to eat one single Oreo at a time: Nelson Mandela, Richard Simmons, and Bill Murray, although I may just have an unreasonably positive opinion of Bill Murray.

James Norton edits the Upper Midwestern food journal Heavy Table. He's also the coauthor of a book on Wisconsin's master cheesemakers. Follow CHOW on Twitter, and become a fan on Facebook.