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Then there was the time while the couple was still living in South Korea when Corne's husband had her mother mail him rennet from the United Kingdom so he could make cheese. Or the time he tried to build a mini tandoor oven in a plastic bucket (it melted).
Amy Graff, a 37-year-old San Francisco parenting blogger and mother of two young children, is married to a scientist who went through an ice-cream-making phase, can make a "gourmet paella," mixes fancy cocktails, and combines different homemade spice rubs for barbecues.
"He tends to cook when we have company over," she says of her husband. "They're all so impressed. When you cook for a dinner party it's very rewarding. Whereas cooking for children or a family can be so unrewarding, especially when you have young kids." When Graff is out of town, the kids wind up eating deli sandwiches for dinner.
So Graff finds herself cooking family dinners more often than not, a task that she usually enjoys. But she also finds herself irritated and frustrated with the division of labor.
"It seems like women are just pigeonholed in this role where their food isn't very sexy or exciting or noteworthy," Graff says. "Whereas the men get to have all the fun!"
IS BOBBY FLAY TO BLAME?
Our culture has long encouraged men to see cooking as an entertaining hobby and women to see it as a moral duty. And despite major strides in gender equality, the message hasn't necessarily changed all that much. Look, for example, at the lineup of the Food Network. Nearly 100 percent of the female-hosted shows are about home cooking, with chefs like Rachael Ray and Sandra Lee making "simple" and "homey" and "accessible" and "healthy" meals in cozy studio kitchens or their own homes. Those who do have professional culinary training—such as Alexandra Guarnaschelli of New York's Butter restaurant—are described as "working moms" or "stay-at-home moms." The male-hosted shows, by contrast, are almost all contests or travel or reality shows. Men roam the globe searching for the spiciest cuisine and the "ultimate" bacon-guacamole cheeseburgers, or boldly go spatula to spatula with other chefs in "battles" and "challenges" and "throwdowns" before cheering crowds. Their food is "bold" and "intense" and, above all, "extreme." Very, very, very extreme. Ultra-extreme. Bring on the triple jalapeño-bacon-cheddar-x-treme burgers and let's have a throwdown!
No wonder so many men see cooking as a competition, even in their home arenas—uh, kitchens.
So where are the female sufferers of Iron Chef Syndrome? Well, there are plenty, rest assured; I know more than one woman who routinely stays up until 5 a.m. perfecting a 23-step layer cake or a batch of homemade blood sausage. But in America, women still cook 78 percent of daily dinners, a chore that may make hobby-cooking seem somewhat less fun. The stats bear this out: While women do most of the daily meal preparation, men are more likely to say they enjoy cooking. Hopefully one day soon, men and women will be equally likely to both make dinner and pursue superfun culinary projects.
If you need me, I'll be in the garage playing with my new molecular gastronomy starter set (I found it in Epicurious's "Father's Day Gift Guide"). In the name of gender equality, of course.
Illustration by Juan Leguizamon
So I guess this means men like Mario Batali, Emeril Lagasse, Bobby Flay, Guy Fieri, and Micheal Simon are just sticking their noses where they don't belong. I guess they should just go play in the garage and let their wives do all the cooking. I am almost ready to just delete this site from my favorites list and find a REAL foodie website.
I think these kinds of articles just reinforce traditional gender stereotypes - women do the real work of taking care of a household, and men are easily distracted dilettantes. Come on! This is just lazy journalism...
Gender equality on Chow. The shark has been jumped.
I have found that a diamond tennis bracelet compensates nicely for a man's poor cooking skills.
I think I hear it now... can you? It's the WAAAAAAMBULANCE!
On a more serious note... I do find this article, well, rather whiney. I think the article rests mostly on the opinion and experience of few, gross generalizations (crazy cooking fathers leaving mothers with children to do the "real" household work -- same story, different actors; rather than the father going fishing, watching...+READ
I think I hear it now... can you? It's the WAAAAAAMBULANCE!
On a more serious note... I do find this article, well, rather whiney. I think the article rests mostly on the opinion and experience of few, gross generalizations (crazy cooking fathers leaving mothers with children to do the "real" household work -- same story, different actors; rather than the father going fishing, watching football, etc.), and absurd use of "statistics" -- 78% and "more likely" are NOT statistics. Sorry. I visit Chow for the forums... I should really stop reading the wretched articles these people write.-COLLAPSE
Why does everything have to be about gender? Wow, a story about men getting to do "fun" things while women do the real work of childrearing. How is this news? We have statistics that reflect the fact that despite the increasing number of two-income households, women still do the bulk of the housework. Moreover, this story sure makes me sympathize for the millions of men who cook and don't fit the...+READ
Why does everything have to be about gender? Wow, a story about men getting to do "fun" things while women do the real work of childrearing. How is this news? We have statistics that reflect the fact that despite the increasing number of two-income households, women still do the bulk of the housework. Moreover, this story sure makes me sympathize for the millions of men who cook and don't fit the descriptions in the article. The men in this article appear to be narcissistic jerks--and their spouses should tell them so.-COLLAPSE
I see a bit of myself in some of that.
But not completely.
One...
I have always enjoyed cooking and so it wasn't
something I did on a lark.
Two...
I was a single parent with two sons.
There were times when I used them as guinea pigs
but they always let me know when I had run afoul
of their sense of taste.
It has taken me a while to cut down the amounts
of food I cook, now that I...+READ
I see a bit of myself in some of that.
But not completely.
One...
I have always enjoyed cooking and so it wasn't
something I did on a lark.
Two...
I was a single parent with two sons.
There were times when I used them as guinea pigs
but they always let me know when I had run afoul
of their sense of taste.
It has taken me a while to cut down the amounts
of food I cook, now that I kicked their butts out
of the house. :-)-COLLAPSE
tried to build a mini-tandoori in a plastic bucket-- it melted.
LMAO
What about those of us who happen to be male who cook because it is a creative outlet? I don't care if someone else likes what I do. I spend a lot of time learning techniques and experimenting with ingredients. I try to cook tasty food but I sometimes fail. I do this because the process brings ME joy. It's not a competition, it's a journey.
When I have to get dinner on the table I do it in the...+READ
What about those of us who happen to be male who cook because it is a creative outlet? I don't care if someone else likes what I do. I spend a lot of time learning techniques and experimenting with ingredients. I try to cook tasty food but I sometimes fail. I do this because the process brings ME joy. It's not a competition, it's a journey.
When I have to get dinner on the table I do it in the time I have. I know that getting home at 6:00 isn't when you start preparing pork for rillettes if you expect to have them for dinner that night. When I do have the time, though, I break out the Sous Vide Supreme and three days later we feast on medium-rare fork-tender short ribs.
I do agree that women on the Food Network are under-represented and pigeonholed. That's one reason I don't watch Food Network much these days.-COLLAPSE
Very sexist, no room for that in this modern age.
I think this story is just hilarious but I can't say just men are afflicted or it just has to do with what is on the TV/Blogs or in magazines and books that seem to be taking over the media right now. I am a woman who began my cooking life after college and before all the cooking mania began and I must say I was obsessed. I wanted to learn everything. Croquembouche for dessert, why not on a...+READ
I think this story is just hilarious but I can't say just men are afflicted or it just has to do with what is on the TV/Blogs or in magazines and books that seem to be taking over the media right now. I am a woman who began my cooking life after college and before all the cooking mania began and I must say I was obsessed. I wanted to learn everything. Croquembouche for dessert, why not on a Wednesday evening? My then boyfriend, and now husband was incredibly supportive of me and eating dinner at midnight and cleaning a war zone looking kitchen was just part of the day, so was gaining like 50lbs. Seriously, I feel like you were describing me, luckily no kids or relationships were hurt or hindered in my 'self-exploration'. Thanks for the funny.-COLLAPSE
I think that every comment posted so far has a lot of merit. Hesshaus strikes an especially familiar chord with me, I used to be a cooking maniac. I read all the magazines and made tons of new, interesting stuff. For two years I went to my dad's house, cooked him dinner, then went home and cooked my toddler dinner, then dinner for my husband and me, all while holding down a full-time job. It was...+READ
I think that every comment posted so far has a lot of merit. Hesshaus strikes an especially familiar chord with me, I used to be a cooking maniac. I read all the magazines and made tons of new, interesting stuff. For two years I went to my dad's house, cooked him dinner, then went home and cooked my toddler dinner, then dinner for my husband and me, all while holding down a full-time job. It was a lot of work, most of it was fun, but I got burned out. Now my husband is getting into cooking more. I'm the one that likes all the kitchen gadgets, though. :-)-COLLAPSE
God, men are so stupid and selfish. Especially the three that you interviewed. Good work.
This is pretty insulting and baseless.
The author generalizes about what must surely be millions of men, drawing from THREE examples as evidence.
I don't appreciate being labelled and dismissed because of my gender any more than a woman would. I can't imagine that Chow would be so blatantly sexist as to publish an article complaining about "Foodie" women, so please dont generalize so...+READ
This is pretty insulting and baseless.
The author generalizes about what must surely be millions of men, drawing from THREE examples as evidence.
I don't appreciate being labelled and dismissed because of my gender any more than a woman would. I can't imagine that Chow would be so blatantly sexist as to publish an article complaining about "Foodie" women, so please dont generalize so sloppily about men either.-COLLAPSE
Betty Friedan described something similar in The Feminine Mystique back in 1958 or so. Men primarily engage in housework when it's creative and fun. I think over time more men are accepting the drudge chores, but in a family, particularly one with young children, the woman usually gets stuck with most of it. I could have a hot cooked meal on the table within 15 minutes of arriving home with the...+READ
Betty Friedan described something similar in The Feminine Mystique back in 1958 or so. Men primarily engage in housework when it's creative and fun. I think over time more men are accepting the drudge chores, but in a family, particularly one with young children, the woman usually gets stuck with most of it. I could have a hot cooked meal on the table within 15 minutes of arriving home with the kids. That's a skill equal to the fanciest Iron Chef capabilities.-COLLAPSE
I'd imagine there are females who cause the rest of the household to suffer as well. How about those people that HAVE improved from embracing their foodie instincts? This article takes a look at people who are obsessed as the writer states, but what about those who follow a more Mark Bittman/Thomas Keller approach. Good food without the gonzo.
The article is obviously culturally biased. In France, men cook regularly and don't have this need to go on food projects. My mom cooked regularly but she tended to make things much more complicated then they had to be.
I am not married like the people in article but I do cook regularly. I admit I go on big food projects but it's only about once every few months. My daily cooking is rather...+READ
The article is obviously culturally biased. In France, men cook regularly and don't have this need to go on food projects. My mom cooked regularly but she tended to make things much more complicated then they had to be.
I am not married like the people in article but I do cook regularly. I admit I go on big food projects but it's only about once every few months. My daily cooking is rather simple and I make it in large quantity. I figure I wouldn't change my cooking style one bit if I ever have kids.
But really there is nothing wrong with someone wanting to cook elaborate items. I believe the true issue is time management. They should have started much earlier if they have hungry people waiting. If that's the case then they should have the wisdom to go with something simple.-COLLAPSE
Anyone can do the over the top, fun stuff. Getting accolades from your friends is a ego boost. Do easy things for your kids and family, do it every day, day in and day out. A smile on my kid's faces at dinner is more rewarding to me than any compliment from a friend. Good tasting simple food that your kids will eat, developing their palates over time that's when you can call yourself a good cook....+READ
Anyone can do the over the top, fun stuff. Getting accolades from your friends is a ego boost. Do easy things for your kids and family, do it every day, day in and day out. A smile on my kid's faces at dinner is more rewarding to me than any compliment from a friend. Good tasting simple food that your kids will eat, developing their palates over time that's when you can call yourself a good cook. I have 5 kids, each one will eat more variety then their same age peers. Why? Because I didn't start out with 50 meatloaf recipes. I developed one good one. I built their palates over years and years. I never pushed them to try something new, but I told them they couldn't say they didn't like something unless they ate 3 good bites. If they didn't like it, we would hold it back for 6 months and try again. I now have 5 year olds who will eat brussel sprouts, turnips and roast red kuri squash.
And please, if you don't do it professionally, don't call yourself a Chef. Those of us who get paid for it, earned our coats over years of busting our asses in hot kitchens and long hours, it wasn't just given to us.-COLLAPSE
Good article. I can see myself in it. My wife is a great cook, can make about anything well. But, after all those years of cooking, she's grown tired of being in the kitchen. I've always had an interest in food and food preparation so little by little I've taken over the kitchen from shopping for groceries, cooking , and more importantly, cleanup. My wife now comes into the kitchen when the meal...+READ
Good article. I can see myself in it. My wife is a great cook, can make about anything well. But, after all those years of cooking, she's grown tired of being in the kitchen. I've always had an interest in food and food preparation so little by little I've taken over the kitchen from shopping for groceries, cooking , and more importantly, cleanup. My wife now comes into the kitchen when the meal is on the table, and leaves at the end of the meal.
Enough of me patting myself on the back. Where my wife cooked regularly, the meals were simple and tasted good. Now I spend a lot of time pouring over my many cookbooks including the ones that I check out from our public library, looking for new recipes in cookbooks and on the Internet for variations on the ones that I use. Do I really need a dozen different recipes to make a meat loaf? She cooked many of her meals in a three quart pot. I have at least six different sized pots to cook something with. She had two skillets, a large one and a smaller one. I have nine skillets, including four cast iron skillets of various sizes. My point is, I have become the Man Chef described in the article. Gives me something to think about.....-COLLAPSE
Communication is hard?