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Dinner dates seem like such a good idea: get to know each other in a nonthreatening public place while relaxing over beverages and food. Unfortunately, as the Chowhound thread "Weird/Bad Food Related Dates" shows, they're a minefield of subtle humiliations and egregious cluelessness.
1. Your date micromanages your meal. "This guy kept picking the restaurants and would not let me have any input," says NicoleFriedman. Tehama tells of a bad date with a man she calls Third, who tried to force an order of white Zin on her. "Me: Sorry! I will have a Makers Mark + ginger ale please. Third: That is very heavy; she will have something lighter. Me: No! Bring me the Makers Mark. As quickly as possible, please. Third: look of haughty disdain."
2. Your ideas of proper dinner date food are wildly mismatched. "I guess my weirdest and most disappointing food date was in misinterpreting what a set-up date said about 'being particular about his food,' when he invited me to dinner," says mamachef. "I thought that meant he had an educated palate, had some food/wine knowledge, that there was some discernment there. Oy assumptions. Imagine my chagrin when we ended up at Applebee's. His feelings about the place? That they were very very clean, and very very charming, what with all the sporty logo stuff interspersed with fake Tiffany lamps. And that the food was awfully good and had been frozen, so the chances of food poisoning, or lack of cleanliness when prepping, were just nil. In his opinion." LeoLioness had a date with a man who couldn't stop praising his Cheesecake Factory dish: "He used the phrase 'to die for' which is bad enough, but about a chicken pasta dish from the Cheesecake Factory? Really?"
3. What you order turns your date off. "I ordered baby octopus. I don't remember what he got, but for sure, it was not baby octopus," says travelmad478. "After I saw the expression on his face as he watched me stuffing whole baby octopi into my mouth (you can't cut a baby octopus with chopsticks!), I pretty much figured there wouldn't be a second date. Bingo! I think he would probably list this experience as one of HIS weirdest/worst food-related dates, too."
4. Your date demands that you order a low-priced special. "I had a guy take me to Friendly's for dinner as a first date and 'suggested' that I order some deal where a sundae was included in the price of the meal. There wasn't a second date," says cleobeach.
5. The menu is in a language spoken by your date but not you, and your date won't translate for you. INDIANRIVERFL had just such a bad date. "The waiter brought an amuse bouche and the menu. She refuses to translate. He goes through a pantomine of the specials. The fish was easy, but it was him hopping like a rabbit that cinched my decision. She just wanted the bread on the table and water. I got her Evian. Then she pulled a beautiful crystal bowl in front of her and told the waiter she didn't need a plate, that was sufficient. At this point, he has obviously figured out the dynamics between us, gives me a gallic shrug, and she ate her bread out of the ash tray for the rest of the meal."
6. Your date asks for weird accompaniments. "I took her to my favorite French bistro. Bad idea," says BobB. "She was flummoxed by the menu, and finally ordered steak au poivre (probably because she recognized the word steak), and when it came asked the waiter for ketchup. That's when I knew it was hopeless."
7. Order gaffes made unironically. "I had a date with a guy who ordered his sushi with no kimosabi," says eLizard. "I was looking for the Lone Ranger."
8. Inappropriate cheapness. canadianbeaver went out with a man who "took me out the day before my birthday, and made a big deal at the restaurant that it was my birthday, had them sing me happy birthday, and bring out a piece of cake—and when the bill came, he didn’t even gesture to pay or go for the bill, instead I paid (including the cake!)."
9. Rigid standards about what one will or will not eat. "I was on a first date set up by one of my cousins and the guy announced that he wouldn't eat ANY type of fruit and then told me that that meant that I would not be 'allowed' to make any sort of fruit pie for him," says Jasz.
Image source: Mariyana Misaleva/Shutterstock
@srqmike, as a Jersey girl, I gotta say I'd be thrilled if a guy took me to a good diner on the first date. Emphasis on "good" though:)
@masterofceremonies, yeah, some of the things on the list are legit, but when they're just based on a person's food knowledge/tastes, the snobbery makes me dizzy. But dude, you went out on a date with someone who asked to see your credit card statements...+READ
@srqmike, as a Jersey girl, I gotta say I'd be thrilled if a guy took me to a good diner on the first date. Emphasis on "good" though:)
@masterofceremonies, yeah, some of the things on the list are legit, but when they're just based on a person's food knowledge/tastes, the snobbery makes me dizzy. But dude, you went out on a date with someone who asked to see your credit card statements beforehand???? Why?-COLLAPSE
@Heatherb it's true that you shouldn't judge just based on "foodie-ism" alone, but certain grievances are simply a case of poor manners.
To that effect, I once dated a girl who demanded I show her my credit card statements before we went out. Little did I know she was just trying to steal from me, and after our first date I found a huge bill from American Girl Place on my next statement. Never...+READ
@Heatherb it's true that you shouldn't judge just based on "foodie-ism" alone, but certain grievances are simply a case of poor manners.
To that effect, I once dated a girl who demanded I show her my credit card statements before we went out. Little did I know she was just trying to steal from me, and after our first date I found a huge bill from American Girl Place on my next statement. Never mind the fact that she was 19 and had an unhealthy obsession with dolls.-COLLAPSE
All of these make me feel so lucky that I've found someone who can tolerate me.
Back in the eighties I was so cheap that I took a girl to dinner at a Jersey diner. I hope she doesn't see this and remember me or my name.
To go with beevod: if she's more focused on Twitter/Facebook/Google+ on her iPhone/Blackberry/tablet more than on you or the food. That's when you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and head for the parking lot, she won't notice.
For the hounds who are perplexed, the story exists as a digest of a really long thread. Moreover, it creates categories of types of bad dates, drawing on the perspectives all these hounds have offered.
While I wouldn't elevate this to any form of quality reportage or essayistic insight, to claim there is no purpose, work or creativity is debatable. One often relies on multiple interviews and...+READ
For the hounds who are perplexed, the story exists as a digest of a really long thread. Moreover, it creates categories of types of bad dates, drawing on the perspectives all these hounds have offered.
While I wouldn't elevate this to any form of quality reportage or essayistic insight, to claim there is no purpose, work or creativity is debatable. One often relies on multiple interviews and other forms of source materials to write things. This is no different save for that the source material is available to all-- but even so, an aggregator isn't a bad thing. There is genuine labour in rooting through muck to pull out a few 'salient' points.-COLLAPSE
Sign # 10: She shows up talking on her cell. Bye, bye baby.
Wonderful list of trainwrecks!
That is so interesting MizEvie. I'll have to think about that one.
More like "Nine Signs Your Creativity is Going South."
It is as if Chow is promoting the Chowhound threads. But since the ads are on the chow pages, I don't see the benefit, other than free content.
While I am flattered about being quoted, I am perplexed as to why this "article" was written. The entire list was simply lifted from the thread on "Not About Food". ??
Really, only 2, 6, and 7 have anything to do with snobbery. 1, 4, 8, and 9 are purely social gaffes having nothing to do with the food, and indicate that the date is just an inconsiderate person in general. (The chauvinism of 9 just makes me wince, assuming the line wasn't delivered with some signal that the guy was being ironic.) In context, 5 doesn't really have much to do with food either - if...+READ
Really, only 2, 6, and 7 have anything to do with snobbery. 1, 4, 8, and 9 are purely social gaffes having nothing to do with the food, and indicate that the date is just an inconsiderate person in general. (The chauvinism of 9 just makes me wince, assuming the line wasn't delivered with some signal that the guy was being ironic.) In context, 5 doesn't really have much to do with food either - if you check out the original thread it's pretty clear that things weren't going well in the relationship well before the painful date. And 3 certainly isn't the poster's fault - if there's a rule that says "thou shalt not order food you really like to eat for fear it will gross out your less-adventurous date," I missed the memo.
As for 2/6/7 - yeah, there's an element of snobbery there, although I think each of these situations could be read more charitably too. Some of it is a preference for personality types that are open to new and different experiences. If your date thinks preventing food poisoning is the most important thing about a restaurant, it's pretty obvious that their personality is much more into the safe and routine than seeking out the new and different. And partly it's just about preferring people who like food that tastes good. Yeah, it's subjective, but what's Chowhound about if not finding food that tastes good? Sorry, Applebee's doesn't taste good. And neither does ketchup on steak au poivre.-COLLAPSE
Ok, these top 10 lists on Chowhound always have this vein of snobbery that really rubs me the wrong way. If I found a great guy who thought Applebees was awesome, I wouldn't let that get in the way or affect how I viewed the content of his character. It really doesn't mean much to me if my date mispronounces the name of the condiments either. I know too many d-bags that know their way around in a...+READ
Ok, these top 10 lists on Chowhound always have this vein of snobbery that really rubs me the wrong way. If I found a great guy who thought Applebees was awesome, I wouldn't let that get in the way or affect how I viewed the content of his character. It really doesn't mean much to me if my date mispronounces the name of the condiments either. I know too many d-bags that know their way around in a 5-star restaurant but couldn't operate in a functional relationship to save their lives.
A lot of "foodie" people would have been turned off by my favorite ex. For our third date, he cooked a meal for me in his house. It was Rice-A-Roni noodles. He was very proud of the fact that he had some Kraft parmesan cheese to sprinkle on it for me. He grew up poor, eating whatever his mother could scrape together. Food, to him, was "fuel." I coulda walked away over that, I guess. But I would've missed out on a spectacular relationship, and also on the pleasure of seeing how he enjoyed trying new foods that he'd never experienced before.
It's lists like this that give foodies a bad name.-COLLAPSE
When I was a junior in college, I had hardly a penny to my name but was asked out on a date by a guy 8 years older than I was. He had an engineering job so I assumed he was making a decent living. We had a nice time on the date and he did go all out with appetizers all the way to dessert plus cocktails. As he was paying the check, he said "Next time, you're getting my dinner, ok?" No ok since I...+READ
When I was a junior in college, I had hardly a penny to my name but was asked out on a date by a guy 8 years older than I was. He had an engineering job so I assumed he was making a decent living. We had a nice time on the date and he did go all out with appetizers all the way to dessert plus cocktails. As he was paying the check, he said "Next time, you're getting my dinner, ok?" No ok since I had no income so that second date never happened.-COLLAPSE
I have a few signs that your dinner date is going south remembered from my dating years:
1. Your date doesn't notice that he has a lot of food in his teeth after dinner and then wants to french kiss at the end of the date (yuck - and no thanks)
2. I am a big foodie and went on a first (and last) date with a guy who didn't even consult me before ordering appetizers, including steak tartar, to go...+READ
I have a few signs that your dinner date is going south remembered from my dating years:
1. Your date doesn't notice that he has a lot of food in his teeth after dinner and then wants to french kiss at the end of the date (yuck - and no thanks)
2. I am a big foodie and went on a first (and last) date with a guy who didn't even consult me before ordering appetizers, including steak tartar, to go with our drinks, As it happens I like steak tartare, but it was clear it was a 'test.' He was totally obnoxious in other ways too.
3. I went on a date with an attractive guy who he would only eat chicken and vegetables. No red meat, no duck, no fish, no seafood, and only a few vegetables. Deal breaker for me who loves to cook and try new foods.
4. I was invited by a wealthy guy to a high-end restaurant with great food but small portions. The bill came and he went into a big long rant about how much it cost for such a small amount of food. Awful and awkward.
5. I dated a guy for a while who liked to cook me dinner - which I appreciated - but he was a TERRIBLE cook. All he liked to make was grilled fish and vegetables - which normally I'd like. He was a respected research professor who made a good salary but only bought the very cheapest ingredients, like sad looking vegetables from the dollar store and cheap frozen fish. He invariably overcooked the fish so it was really dry and the vegies were always bland. The tragic part was he thought he was such a hero for making dinner and would go on about how good it was. I was always polite because I certainly appreciated the effort. His inflated impression of his cooking skill turned out to be a portent of other problems. He will forever by known as Dr. Narcissist to me and my friends.
5. As for octopus, my significant other and I knew we were meant for each other when from the first date we shared food in restaurants and ordered grilled octopus whenever we saw it on the menu.
By the way, I love to cook and throughout my dating life I discovered that if the guy was right for me, the food I cooked for him tasted great. If he was not right for me, then the food didn't taste good to me although it would appear that my date was enjoying it. My cooking became a very reliable barometer of relationship success. I wonder if other people have experienced the same thing.-COLLAPSE
...no wonder these people are single. Wow. Snobby or judgmental.