Top 10 Signs of a Bad Cook

It could also be that they have strange kids who insist on eating bizarre things. My younger brother, for instance, LOVES boxed mac and cheese. There's a lot of it in my house. The rest of us don't touch the stuff. However, my dad is still a fantastic cook and, while he's not a chef at a super-trendy foody haven in NYC, he has skills.

Also, a true beer fan would know that "light beer" doesn't...+READ

It could also be that they have strange kids who insist on eating bizarre things. My younger brother, for instance, LOVES boxed mac and cheese. There's a lot of it in my house. The rest of us don't touch the stuff. However, my dad is still a fantastic cook and, while he's not a chef at a super-trendy foody haven in NYC, he has skills.

Also, a true beer fan would know that "light beer" doesn't equal "worst thing in the world." If you're judging a kitchen based on whether it has light beer and not on the quality of the beer as such, there's something seriously wrong with you. Yes, if your host's idea of a "great beer" is Keystone Light, then I understand the need for judgment, but there are a number of tolerable and -- dare I say it, *decent* -- light beers out there. I'd choose Sam Adams Light beer over some big-box American lagers any day, for instance.

So basically I really fail to see the point of this article-COLLAPSE

By axionestin on August 16, 2011 10:54 PM

Aw w yor funning me I make a grate stake tartar lol

By ikele76 on July 26, 2011 10:38 AM

This article is iffy. Ive known some GREAT cooks who were guilty of some of these. #1: I have to only agree with the long nail part of it. Having them manicured means nothing except they want nice looking nails without the hassle. #2: Everything cant be made of scratch without sacrificing an entire day. Most of us have jobs. Im not a fan of powdered mixes but they dont ruin meals when made with...+READ

This article is iffy. Ive known some GREAT cooks who were guilty of some of these. #1: I have to only agree with the long nail part of it. Having them manicured means nothing except they want nice looking nails without the hassle. #2: Everything cant be made of scratch without sacrificing an entire day. Most of us have jobs. Im not a fan of powdered mixes but they dont ruin meals when made with originality. #3: I, personally, am I HUGE neat freak. After I cook, my kitchen gets cleaned thoroughly to the "like new" point. #4: I agree. No one ingredient is going to make any/every dish better. #5: I don't believe this. Some cultures rarely use salt & if so, sparingly & still have great dishes. The rest I agree with. ESPECIALLY #10!! The longer you cook a steak, the more of the natural flavor you take out-COLLAPSE

By realdollaffair on July 24, 2011 11:35 AM

I agree with the comments about being a good guest, and that the company is more important than the food. But the article made me chuckle, and I completely agree with the salt thing. Salt seems to matter much more to me than to some people, but I can't take any cook seriously who doesn't use it. I'm definitely not guilty of the clean appliance thing. My entire (hoodless) kitchen is covered in an...+READ

I agree with the comments about being a good guest, and that the company is more important than the food. But the article made me chuckle, and I completely agree with the salt thing. Salt seems to matter much more to me than to some people, but I can't take any cook seriously who doesn't use it. I'm definitely not guilty of the clean appliance thing. My entire (hoodless) kitchen is covered in an amazingly resilient layer of grease. If you open a cabinet and touch a glass that hasn't been used in a while, it's sticky. If I win the lottery, I'm building a house with a basement kitchen for cooking (industrial appliances, air conditioning that could cool the Sahara, cement floors with a drain, and sprayers hanging from the ceiling) and an upstairs kitchen for people to look at. I do think siracha improves most things!-COLLAPSE

By jvanderh on July 22, 2011 07:10 AM

My sign that someone is a bad cook: they think margarine and butter are different styles of the same ingredient.

By itwillmakeaturd on July 19, 2011 11:53 PM

Sorry... I'm really not a food snob but this article is right on.

By lrmoresco on July 17, 2011 12:02 PM

This is basically just offensive snobbery for the most part. Why not just title it "How to Make Arbitrary Judgments About Your Host"? I like good food, but when I go to a friend's house and they put the work in to cook for me, I'm not really worried about whether my foodie tastebuds will be satisfied. Sample the dishes and then grab something else on your way home. Cripes.

By Heatherb on July 13, 2011 07:05 AM

Bigpestle, have you ever tasted fish sauce?

By cowboyardee on July 12, 2011 11:52 AM

Re: no salt. Thai cooking uses virtually no salt. You can't say that it lacks in flavour!
In my opinion, many cooks over salt and would be better off throwing the salt away. Then they would have to deal with the ingredients.

By bigpestle on July 11, 2011 07:39 PM

In Bill Buford's "Heat" he tells the story of how Mario Batali got his first really big restaurant job. He was at a party of restaurant workers, mostly lowly sous and prep chefs, and someone had been given a knob of foie gras, but had no real idea of how to prepare it. He grabbed it and pan-seared it, at the same time preparing a reduction sauce made of the only ingredients available : a package...+READ

In Bill Buford's "Heat" he tells the story of how Mario Batali got his first really big restaurant job. He was at a party of restaurant workers, mostly lowly sous and prep chefs, and someone had been given a knob of foie gras, but had no real idea of how to prepare it. He grabbed it and pan-seared it, at the same time preparing a reduction sauce made of the only ingredients available : a package of Starburst candies and a can of Orange Nehi. Apparently it was so spectacular that he was offered the job of executive chef at a local resort on the strength of reports from wowed party guests.

A really good cook always knows how to make the best of things.-COLLAPSE

By ratgirlagogo on July 11, 2011 07:19 PM

I think some of the commenters haven't come across really bad cooks. I love white trash meals as much as the good stuff, but there is another difference: food that tastes good, and food that is unnecessarily gross or conforms to whatever the current "health" fad is without regard to taste.

I've been served a disgusting twice-cooked chicken and frozen potato "product" dish, baked like a...+READ

I think some of the commenters haven't come across really bad cooks. I love white trash meals as much as the good stuff, but there is another difference: food that tastes good, and food that is unnecessarily gross or conforms to whatever the current "health" fad is without regard to taste.

I've been served a disgusting twice-cooked chicken and frozen potato "product" dish, baked like a casserole. There was no seasoning, the pre-boiled chicked was just tossed with the mashed up potatoes. Yes, the chicken tasted thoroughly like rancid monounsaturated fat (the chicken re-heated taste you get without preservatives). This wasn't a one-off meal. It was a standard "delight" in the repertoire.

It's called rappie pie (french canadian, i think). I call it crappie pie, with apologies to my Acadian friends.-COLLAPSE

By cmztrav on July 11, 2011 05:36 PM

Really? Uggh. What a bunch of snobbish drivel. My mother once told me that when you really have money you don't feel the need to display it. Just as a gentle cook doesn't flavor her dishes with smarmy, self importance. It's sentiments such as this article that scare cream-of-chicken lovers away from the delights of homemade stock. Talk about a bad tasting dish. This particular bon mot stinks. I...+READ

Really? Uggh. What a bunch of snobbish drivel. My mother once told me that when you really have money you don't feel the need to display it. Just as a gentle cook doesn't flavor her dishes with smarmy, self importance. It's sentiments such as this article that scare cream-of-chicken lovers away from the delights of homemade stock. Talk about a bad tasting dish. This particular bon mot stinks. I think some humble pie and a viewing of Disney's Ratatouille is in order.-COLLAPSE

By DomesticDizziness on July 11, 2011 05:19 PM

On Thanksgiving they serve Green Bean (from the can) Casserole.

By apicard on July 11, 2011 12:12 PM

go eat in a country where vegetables and meat actually have enough flavour on their own and see if satl is that important to anybody.

By Kitchener on July 11, 2011 10:07 AM

Then I must be just an ok cook since i'm guilty of maybe half these danger signs . I cook exactly twice a year: thanksgiving and Xmas. My knife skills are rusty, not my knives. Yeah, stuff gathers dust on my shelves, typically filled with barely used spices that are replaced for the specific dishes requiring them on those twice-a-year occasions. So, most of the stuff up there has a yeR's worth of...+READ

Then I must be just an ok cook since i'm guilty of maybe half these danger signs . I cook exactly twice a year: thanksgiving and Xmas. My knife skills are rusty, not my knives. Yeah, stuff gathers dust on my shelves, typically filled with barely used spices that are replaced for the specific dishes requiring them on those twice-a-year occasions. So, most of the stuff up there has a yeR's worth of dust on them. But reLly, I detect a certain defensiveness on everyone's part, including mine. Admit it, there's truth to both sides and it's a post that is worth reading Nd thinking about.-COLLAPSE

By Letsdish on July 11, 2011 07:34 AM

This is a terrible article I just wasted a few minutes of my life which I will never get back.

The biggest point I will pick up on is 5. Not adding salt to food. That is the choice of the chef and is no idication of ability. There is a a local chef with a Michelin star and he never uses any salt. You can use ingredients to add to the taste of the dish.

By dryrain on July 10, 2011 08:50 AM

Too funny. I guess I'm not doing too bad.

By Katsukhan on July 9, 2011 08:30 PM

My mother was not a good cook. Some of her company meals were close on to inedible even by people who routinely violate all 10 of these rules. But people kept coming back--and a lot of food went back to the kitchen. It taught me that there is more to "breaking bread" with people than exquisite food. I am a better cook for having watched my mother turn out bad food; I am also a better and more...+READ

My mother was not a good cook. Some of her company meals were close on to inedible even by people who routinely violate all 10 of these rules. But people kept coming back--and a lot of food went back to the kitchen. It taught me that there is more to "breaking bread" with people than exquisite food. I am a better cook for having watched my mother turn out bad food; I am also a better and more relaxed hostess for understanding that food is only one part of a shared meal.-COLLAPSE

By alabella on July 9, 2011 11:48 AM

Looks to be a lot of inflated "I'm such a perfect cook" ego's here, who think thier own sh** doesn't stinks.

Personally, this article stinks. Why it hasn't been removed is a mystery since lesser insult flying threads have been removed. I was under the impression Chow welcomed cooks of all levels? Since when is it okay to dump on cooks who might use *gasp* canned soups, or dried herbs, instead...+READ

Looks to be a lot of inflated "I'm such a perfect cook" ego's here, who think thier own sh** doesn't stinks.

Personally, this article stinks. Why it hasn't been removed is a mystery since lesser insult flying threads have been removed. I was under the impression Chow welcomed cooks of all levels? Since when is it okay to dump on cooks who might use *gasp* canned soups, or dried herbs, instead of fresh or made from scratch? To each his or her own, and that included cooking. I use fresh herbs, one of my good friend does not, so what? My friends food tastes good, and the fact that I'm/we are invited to share in that food, should be all that matters.-COLLAPSE

By Joyfull on July 9, 2011 09:54 AM

I forgot to add that I weigh 125 pounds. I have short, French manicured nails because they are indestructible. They don't take any care except returning every to weeks to the manicurist! I admit I dont spend three hours preparing dinner very often. I think some people are obsessed with food the way others are obsessed with clothes or decorating, etc. How is your wardrobe? How is the decor in your...+READ

I forgot to add that I weigh 125 pounds. I have short, French manicured nails because they are indestructible. They don't take any care except returning every to weeks to the manicurist! I admit I dont spend three hours preparing dinner very often. I think some people are obsessed with food the way others are obsessed with clothes or decorating, etc. How is your wardrobe? How is the decor in your home? Don't be overly opinioned. I will admit some people are horrible cooks and some restaurants have horrible food. Some people have horribly decorated homes and wear patheticly unflattering clothers on their overweight bodies.-COLLAPSE

By wisdomandtruth on July 9, 2011 09:03 AM

So, you are saying that cooking healthy food means you are a bad cook. Just because I am not addicted to butter, pork fat and lardons does not mean that I am not eating delicious food.

By wisdomandtruth on July 9, 2011 08:53 AM

OK, I fully appreciate the approach to sizing up a kitchen and skills.... but both RealLemon and (jarred) great garlic have a place in my (deep) pantry. (Bloody Marys for the RL; I know how to peel and chop but in a busy kitchen not every dish calls for the same "production standards". I would agree that the location, origin and reverence for -- the spice rack has better correlation with end...+READ

OK, I fully appreciate the approach to sizing up a kitchen and skills.... but both RealLemon and (jarred) great garlic have a place in my (deep) pantry. (Bloody Marys for the RL; I know how to peel and chop but in a busy kitchen not every dish calls for the same "production standards". I would agree that the location, origin and reverence for -- the spice rack has better correlation with end result.-COLLAPSE

By neil on July 9, 2011 07:53 AM

i agree with most of this. my ex-MIL is a TERRIBLE cook, but she still would insist on cooking for any/all holidays. and she would cheerfully serve up barely edible crap. i really think she was kind of sadistic. anyhoo, my personal signs that you should offer to do the cooking (if you can cook, that is...):
1. all of the pots in their kitchen are cheap enameled aluminum, like they offer at the...+READ

i agree with most of this. my ex-MIL is a TERRIBLE cook, but she still would insist on cooking for any/all holidays. and she would cheerfully serve up barely edible crap. i really think she was kind of sadistic. anyhoo, my personal signs that you should offer to do the cooking (if you can cook, that is...):
1. all of the pots in their kitchen are cheap enameled aluminum, like they offer at the grocery store. (but they're so CUTE...)
2. i agree on the spice thing. MIL had in her cabinet salt, pepper, paprika, and dehydrated onion. that's all. used sparingly.
3. if someone volunteers that their absolute FAVORITE place to eat is...Applebees. or something like it.
4. people who don't genuinely take an interest in food, and enjoy eating, are usually dismal cooks. i'm not impressed that you had cereal for dinner the last few nights.
5. people who see no need to use cookbooks, or read a recipe and decide the first time making it that no, you don't REALLY need x, you can just plaster it with crumbled potato chips or soap flakes or whatnot. really! it tastes fine!!
6. people who insist on making the SAME DAMN THING every they have company. and it never gets any better.

(please note, i'm not bitter toward the woman or anything, it just drove me nuts that she insisted she was the greatest cook in the world, when in fact she was just awful. and you couldn't tell her anything. i'm remembering how i always had to grit my teeth and put up with it every time i went to her house. and then go for takeout after. really made holidays suck.)-COLLAPSE

By darbycrash on July 9, 2011 01:25 AM

5% true, 95% total bullshit.

By ChefDutch on July 7, 2011 05:17 PM

Comment # 10 is absolutely incorrect on every level possible and shows a lack of knowledge that screams bad cook. Well done meat does not mean: dry, burned or tough. If any of those three adjectives are appropriate for the final product, its mechanics or porr quality meat. Well done meat has a much higher protein level than rarer meat: Fact. Well done meat is easier for your body to digest: Fact....+READ

Comment # 10 is absolutely incorrect on every level possible and shows a lack of knowledge that screams bad cook. Well done meat does not mean: dry, burned or tough. If any of those three adjectives are appropriate for the final product, its mechanics or porr quality meat. Well done meat has a much higher protein level than rarer meat: Fact. Well done meat is easier for your body to digest: Fact. Well done meat has a much lower cholesterol level than less done meat: Fact. More fat is rendered out of the meat because it is cooked longer. More Americans have lower track problems later in life and this is attributed in many cases to the consumption of lesser done meat: Fact. If you want a warning sign for a poor cook, watch the cooking mechanics. Method is everything, everything else is secondary at best.-COLLAPSE

By thefoodmercenary on July 7, 2011 10:04 AM

I am for sure guilty of some of these.... BUT
For high quality trailer trash cooking, it takes certain ingredients...
NoodleKoodle does not taste right without Cream of chicken/mushroom soup...duh.
( BTW I know what fresh organic is, my garden is bigger than most house lots 50'x100')

By PopsBdog on July 7, 2011 02:26 AM

DON'T BELONG IN PINEAPPLE AND CHICKEN! WOW! I love adding fresh shell fish juice to add a bit of extra oomf of flavor, the chicken tastes of chicken with a hint of clam that saltyness contrasted with the sweetness of the pineapple.

I like my steaks rare still moving, stab it with a fork and it moos and stampeads off my plate onto the floor and out the door with the fork still in it, it's just...+READ

DON'T BELONG IN PINEAPPLE AND CHICKEN! WOW! I love adding fresh shell fish juice to add a bit of extra oomf of flavor, the chicken tastes of chicken with a hint of clam that saltyness contrasted with the sweetness of the pineapple.

I like my steaks rare still moving, stab it with a fork and it moos and stampeads off my plate onto the floor and out the door with the fork still in it, it's just right. Though if it's well done cause I was busy whipping up stuff to go with it, then well well done it is, though even when my steaks come out well done their still rather juicy.

I know a guy though with a suspect allergy, olive oil or so he says, yet I cook entirely with olive oil and he's never had a single allergic reaction to anything I've made.-COLLAPSE

By Grendal on July 5, 2011 11:07 PM

Jeeze; what happened to manners? If someone invites you to share a meal- one that they're going to cook for you? Barring a straight up risk to health and safety... you should be able to handle any shortcomings with grace and humor, not this kind of pecksniffian attitude. I cooked professionally for years, and people are often reluctant to cook for me- assuming that I will have just the sort of...+READ

Jeeze; what happened to manners? If someone invites you to share a meal- one that they're going to cook for you? Barring a straight up risk to health and safety... you should be able to handle any shortcomings with grace and humor, not this kind of pecksniffian attitude. I cooked professionally for years, and people are often reluctant to cook for me- assuming that I will have just the sort of attitude that's on display in this article. And I while this probably saved me from dozens of mediocre to crappy meals... It probably prevented my enjoying as many wonders.-COLLAPSE

By kgray96057 on July 5, 2011 12:06 PM

OK, maybe a bit pretentious and stuffy but all is forgiven for the choice photo illustrating the article.

By citizen Able on July 5, 2011 09:30 AM

In general the hints reflect a level of pretentiousness, but a couple do resonate with me. Light beer is a crime against humanity and Cream of (your favorite substance) soup needs a hazmat label.

Still, you shouldn't be prying into the fridge, pantry, spice cabinet, etc. Plain rude, in my book. And reserve judgement until the food goes from plate to palate.

Oh, and if the food is bad there...+READ

In general the hints reflect a level of pretentiousness, but a couple do resonate with me. Light beer is a crime against humanity and Cream of (your favorite substance) soup needs a hazmat label.

Still, you shouldn't be prying into the fridge, pantry, spice cabinet, etc. Plain rude, in my book. And reserve judgement until the food goes from plate to palate.

Oh, and if the food is bad there is more to a meal than that. Friendship and conversation make an occasion more than the food does.-COLLAPSE

By Akitist on July 5, 2011 09:03 AM

I see this as a weighted scale. The more "yeses" the more suspect. One, two, or even five fails, "depending", don't mean much at all.

Someone who fails more than a couple of 2,3,4,5, 7 or 9 might rightfully (IMO) be suspected of mediocrity... but still, the proof is in the eating.

And the items do mean something very specific. #2 indicates someone who doesn't know much about basic...+READ

I see this as a weighted scale. The more "yeses" the more suspect. One, two, or even five fails, "depending", don't mean much at all.

Someone who fails more than a couple of 2,3,4,5, 7 or 9 might rightfully (IMO) be suspected of mediocrity... but still, the proof is in the eating.

And the items do mean something very specific. #2 indicates someone who doesn't know much about basic ingredients or staples. #3, with the addition of someone who buys trendy appliances and "As Seen on TV" gadgets, indicates a dabbler who like the idea of the equipment more than the practice of cooking. #9 indicates someone without much discernment of taste.

The list might sound assholish but it belies some truths. And YES, be a gracious guest!!!-COLLAPSE

By donw9876 on July 4, 2011 09:45 PM

Cooking, schmooking. I am a good cook, i fall short on some of these requirements. As a guest in someones' kitchen, one should be gracious, and enjoy the fact that you were invited into it.

As a cook, i welcome feedback and constructive criticism. Otherwise, judge my food on the taste and presentation, not the apparent kitchen aesthetics.

Almost everyone has a GREAT dish in their purse....+READ

Cooking, schmooking. I am a good cook, i fall short on some of these requirements. As a guest in someones' kitchen, one should be gracious, and enjoy the fact that you were invited into it.

As a cook, i welcome feedback and constructive criticism. Otherwise, judge my food on the taste and presentation, not the apparent kitchen aesthetics.

Almost everyone has a GREAT dish in their purse. Learn it, enjoy it and save the nasty for yourself.

Pluck it from the ether, bringing someone down does nothing for your (cooking) game.

I shudder to imagine how many great dishes i have not been invited to taste due to performance anxiety.

always imagine you are a bad cook and try to be better...-COLLAPSE

By iwickham on July 4, 2011 09:12 PM

I was riding high on my good-cook horse, but ducked my head sheepishly when I read "a refigerator full of saved ketchup and soy sauce packets"!! BF brings those home now and again and I can't bear to throw them out, though we NEVER use them. That's why they flood out of the built in egg carton in the door when it gets bumped wrong, there's just too many. Guess I should go dump them right now.

...+READ

I was riding high on my good-cook horse, but ducked my head sheepishly when I read "a refigerator full of saved ketchup and soy sauce packets"!! BF brings those home now and again and I can't bear to throw them out, though we NEVER use them. That's why they flood out of the built in egg carton in the door when it gets bumped wrong, there's just too many. Guess I should go dump them right now.

And bacon DOES make everything better, so there! Just pickled some asparagus with bacon and it's faboo...

Love the collection of comments, and please readers, take it with a grain of 20-yr old Lawry's Season Salt!-COLLAPSE

By galeforcewind on July 4, 2011 01:28 PM

They wonder why anyone would spend $$$ money on knives and pots and pans?

By dewi on July 3, 2011 12:09 PM

We all have to eat three times a day, it's worth it to put a LITTLE effort into how you get it done.....funny article, despite the people who think it's snobbery.

I once had spaghetti at a friend's mom's house---she burnt the sauce, but scraped the black bits off the bottom of the pot and stirred it into the pot for all of us to enjoy.

OMG!

By applgrl on July 1, 2011 04:18 PM

My mother collected fifteen bland recipes 50+ years ago that she is comfortable making and eating. Now, when she is 87 and I'm 68, I am living with her again for reasons that are none of your business. A tour of our kitchen would give impressions that are unfair to both of us. We have spices that date back to when Mom was a newlywed, but that does not imply bad cooking. Obviously, if she used...+READ

My mother collected fifteen bland recipes 50+ years ago that she is comfortable making and eating. Now, when she is 87 and I'm 68, I am living with her again for reasons that are none of your business. A tour of our kitchen would give impressions that are unfair to both of us. We have spices that date back to when Mom was a newlywed, but that does not imply bad cooking. Obviously, if she used them, she would have run out years ago. Many are duplicated by my own, with "use by" written large in Sharpie. Mom has some ancient knives, but does EVERYTHING with a paring knife, working against her thumb. Her method works; it's just not as fast as I can do with my four "essential" knives, chef's knife, boning knife, serrated bread slicer, and granton slicer and good knife skills. Mom has other knives, too, all with the same approximate sharpness as my thumbnail. But Mom's food is not bad. It's not gourmet spectacular; mostly it's comfort food--familiar, filling, and unpretentious. We disagree on many things, but more at the supermarket than in the Kitchen. I'm a scratch cook, and can make biscuits and cornbread and pancakes just as fast as Mom can with her boxed premixes. I have NEVER and WILL NEVER purchased any pretender to "cheese" product that cannot legally call itself "cheese" on the label. Mom thinks Velveeta is a legitimate ingredient. All in all, though, we get along, but a tour of our kitchen and refrigerator would not predict what sort of meal you will get as a guest.-COLLAPSE

By richshewmaker on July 1, 2011 03:45 AM

RE: "Sorry, but the jab at light beer puts this 'article' firmly in the 'Top 10 signs you are reading bandwagon-jumping sensationalist crap' category.
By ratbuddy on June 25, 2011 03:27 PM"

Nope. Light beer drinker = unrefined palate in my book. With the myriad styles of beer available just about anywhere in the country, why buy something that's designed to taste like nothing?

I can deal...+READ

RE: "Sorry, but the jab at light beer puts this 'article' firmly in the 'Top 10 signs you are reading bandwagon-jumping sensationalist crap' category.
By ratbuddy on June 25, 2011 03:27 PM"

Nope. Light beer drinker = unrefined palate in my book. With the myriad styles of beer available just about anywhere in the country, why buy something that's designed to taste like nothing?

I can deal with anything on that list and be perfectly content. But if all the host offers is light beer, they'd better be willing to break open the liquor cabinet for a cocktail.-COLLAPSE

By Panini Guy on June 30, 2011 04:26 PM

I took this article with a grain of salt and found it amusing because there is a bit of truth in each observation. It doesn't say you WILL have "a doozy of a meal"; it says you MIGHT, especially if All 10 indicators are present - which is the way I took it. A lot of what makes good comedy and satire is over-exaggeration, which this article used to some effect. People are too easily "offended"...+READ

I took this article with a grain of salt and found it amusing because there is a bit of truth in each observation. It doesn't say you WILL have "a doozy of a meal"; it says you MIGHT, especially if All 10 indicators are present - which is the way I took it. A lot of what makes good comedy and satire is over-exaggeration, which this article used to some effect. People are too easily "offended" these days and should lighten up a bit.-COLLAPSE

By Journey on June 30, 2011 05:31 AM

The redeeming parts of this article:mention of the Sugar Hill gang, that there should always be ample veggies on hand, and that imho, recipes, like many rules, are meant to be flexible. As someone with a lifelong potentially fatal food allergy, I think it's terrible that someone would lie about having an allergy; as someone who has naturally long nails, cooks every day and bakes her own bread, I...+READ

The redeeming parts of this article:mention of the Sugar Hill gang, that there should always be ample veggies on hand, and that imho, recipes, like many rules, are meant to be flexible. As someone with a lifelong potentially fatal food allergy, I think it's terrible that someone would lie about having an allergy; as someone who has naturally long nails, cooks every day and bakes her own bread, I think the rest of this is Seinfeld-ian in its pickiness, and therefore should be viewed as satire. Let's face it--we all know someone who can make magic with humble or few ingredients...and isn't that the the point? That cooking should be creative!?-COLLAPSE

By kmama on June 29, 2011 11:14 AM

Wow! This is like the editing on food shows! Based on what I know of these chowhound posters, theses are a bunch of posts, perhaps taken out of context, and maybe without their knowledge or explicit consent, that is making them look bad! That reminds me of Next Food Network Star.

By Shrinkrap on June 29, 2011 11:00 AM

If he/she can make food that tastes good to you and doesn't make you sick, that's a good cook. If he/she makes food that tastes bad and/or makes you sick, that's a bad cook. Simple.

And if someone can make good-tasting food that doesn't make you sick, using cheap ingredients and short-cuts, more power to them.

By TexSquared on June 29, 2011 08:47 AM

My SIL lives in a very small town in far Northern California. She's one step above being on welfare, although hides it well. I saw a ReaLemon in her frig, and made a comment about it. She reminded me that where she lives, fresh lemons in the supermarket go for about $1 each.

We live in SoCal, and have a lemon tree in our yard. Now I send her a few every month, and have learned to keep my mouth...+READ

My SIL lives in a very small town in far Northern California. She's one step above being on welfare, although hides it well. I saw a ReaLemon in her frig, and made a comment about it. She reminded me that where she lives, fresh lemons in the supermarket go for about $1 each.

We live in SoCal, and have a lemon tree in our yard. Now I send her a few every month, and have learned to keep my mouth shut. She's not a great cook, but considering what she has to work with, she does okay.-COLLAPSE

By judybird on June 28, 2011 05:55 PM

This "article" (actually a collection of anonymous Web users' opinions) is supremely pretentious. There is no way to tell if someone is a good cook without tasting their food, and sometimes you even have to taste their food more than once to decide. (Yes, even the celebrity chefs have "off" days!)

By ohevshalomel on June 28, 2011 03:44 PM

This is one of the most ridiculous and snotty articles about food I've ever read. I've been cooking and receiving praise for what comes out of my kitchen since I was 10 years old, even with the "extremely limited" ingredients to be found in rural Nebraska! Get real Chow people-where do you think your food comes from anyway? So I sin if I cook with local beef, lamb, pork and vegetables from fields...+READ

This is one of the most ridiculous and snotty articles about food I've ever read. I've been cooking and receiving praise for what comes out of my kitchen since I was 10 years old, even with the "extremely limited" ingredients to be found in rural Nebraska! Get real Chow people-where do you think your food comes from anyway? So I sin if I cook with local beef, lamb, pork and vegetables from fields 2 miles away rather than from some designer market where I could pay 10times the amount. You people need to get in touch with what makes America tick- we remain the breadbasket of the world and I'm proud to use the ingredients we grow rather than your imported designer shit. With rather fine results I might add.
Use your imagination as to where I think you can put your truffle oil and panka.-COLLAPSE

By butterballne on June 28, 2011 11:59 AM

I registered just to comment... Joyce should be fired, this is smut at best.

By platy on June 28, 2011 08:42 AM

Lol! Good article-a bit pretentious but spot on. I guess I'm a food snob because I concur on most of these.

By YourItalianGrandma on June 28, 2011 04:58 AM

RodVito,
I didn't take it the way you did.
It said "cling to a belief that any one ingredient, such as bacon, truffle oil, or Sriracha, makes any dish better."
No one say's don't use XXXX ingredient, just don't assume they automatically make ANY dish better. No one said they are too trendy to use

Relax, go have a miller Lite.

By TroyTempest on June 27, 2011 11:44 AM

Where are the moderators on this story??? They are first to jump all over you when a review of a restaurant goes too far, or it is put in the wrong catagory, but where are they when one of their own writes such a stupid article?

This article is extremely pretentious, to the point of being insulting. This is Chowhound, not a forum for professional chefs only.

Im sick to death of all the...+READ

Where are the moderators on this story??? They are first to jump all over you when a review of a restaurant goes too far, or it is put in the wrong catagory, but where are they when one of their own writes such a stupid article?

This article is extremely pretentious, to the point of being insulting. This is Chowhound, not a forum for professional chefs only.

Im sick to death of all the "Trendy Food" Bashing that goes on. An ingredient becomes famous and well used (trendy) because it TASTES GOOD, and is being used in new and exciting ways by many people.

The same Too Cool for School D'bags that claim Bacon and Siracha are too trendy to use are the same ones who diss a band for selling out, when they sign a major record deal.

Light Beer has a place, as do Bacon, Siracha, and Truffle Oil. Yes I know Truffle Oil is made by perfumers in some cases, but if it tastes good when used the right quantity, WHO CARES?-COLLAPSE

By RodVito on June 27, 2011 09:50 AM

@pappy, bad.

By croissantanyone on June 26, 2011 09:14 PM

Since taste is 100% subjective, I would posit that the ony "bad" cook is one who is unable to prepare food that pleases him/herself.

By PommeDeGuerre on June 26, 2011 01:12 AM

Sorry, but the jab at light beer puts this 'article' firmly in the 'Top 10 signs you are reading bandwagon-jumping sensationalist crap' category.

By ratbuddy on June 25, 2011 03:27 PM

I've been called a really good cook & I have friends who ask me to cook for their special get-togethers. However, I must be a bad cook because I am guilty of some of the above. I am not supremely adept with a knife ( although I have really good ones) & I still can't use a "steel" worth a darn! I do keep a can or two of cream o'chicken or mushroom soup in the pantry because they are a good base...+READ

I've been called a really good cook & I have friends who ask me to cook for their special get-togethers. However, I must be a bad cook because I am guilty of some of the above. I am not supremely adept with a knife ( although I have really good ones) & I still can't use a "steel" worth a darn! I do keep a can or two of cream o'chicken or mushroom soup in the pantry because they are a good base for an embellished sauce & because it's the secret to my mom's Southern cornbread dressing. I do, however, have super-short fingernails & if you looked in my oven you could definitely tell it's used quite regularly. My huge collection of spices are always fresh ( I buy them loose & in very small amts.... & buy them often.) I shop for fresh fruits & veggies every day at the local farmer's mkt. & base my menu around what's in season & what's on sale. Can't stand "trendy" food fad ingredients....especially if you don't know how & when to use them. So...... am I good or bad?-COLLAPSE

By pappysmom on June 25, 2011 06:16 AM

Doctored "KD" is a perfect substitute for real food when you have PMS

By love a dish on June 25, 2011 04:36 AM

but bacon is good on/in or with almost anything.

By 001mum on June 24, 2011 08:54 PM

HAHA @dirkinr for DOUCHE CITY comment. Sounds like these people walk around with there pinkys in the air and piss people off a lot with their stupid COMMENTS.

By lindseylucky on June 24, 2011 05:43 PM

I am the greatest cook that has ever lived, and I find this article to be deeply offensive.

By pweller on June 24, 2011 05:37 PM

WOW SOME OF THIS SOUNDS LIKE IT IS COMING FROM A SUPER SNOB! I am an excellent cook and find a lot of what you are saying rediculous AND NOT HELPFUL AT ALL AND POINTLESS. Also I know more than a handful of good cooks that eat thier meat well done, including my mom who has had her recipes in numerous cooking magazines.
SAVING KETCHUP PACKET AND SOYSAUCE PACKETS IS A WAY OF SAVING FROM BEING...+READ

WOW SOME OF THIS SOUNDS LIKE IT IS COMING FROM A SUPER SNOB! I am an excellent cook and find a lot of what you are saying rediculous AND NOT HELPFUL AT ALL AND POINTLESS. Also I know more than a handful of good cooks that eat thier meat well done, including my mom who has had her recipes in numerous cooking magazines.
SAVING KETCHUP PACKET AND SOYSAUCE PACKETS IS A WAY OF SAVING FROM BEING WASTEFUL AND SHOULD BE ADMIRED. I take them in the car, on trips, etc.
I love light beer and it keeps my 28 year old figure in much better shape. I use salt substitutes for health reasons.-COLLAPSE

By lindseylucky on June 24, 2011 05:23 PM

I can't afford to restock my spice cupboards every 6 months. Sucks to be me I guess.

By SocksManly on June 24, 2011 03:55 PM

Cooking is a skill, not a reflection of your ability to spend ample amounts of money at the grocery store. I expect better from Chow than this article filled with snobbish dreck.

By verily on June 24, 2011 07:37 AM

about the salt thing in number 5, I believe that if salt has to be added to a dish, that is definitely an insult on the cook/chef. In my family, no one was allowed to salt their food until they had taken at least one bite and tasted the food. I believe that putting salt on food is an insult to the cook by implying that his or her food is bland.

By acole3201 on June 23, 2011 05:47 PM

In my experience, people are pickiest aboput their eggs and their steak. Some like sunnyside up others over hard with the yolks broke. If someone wants their steak cooked well done I don't give them a temperature snob speech about taste & texture. To each his/her own.

By PantyFarts on June 23, 2011 03:32 PM

This article is douche city.

By durkinr on June 22, 2011 04:11 PM

my 15 minutes of fame!

By smartie on June 22, 2011 03:09 PM

well done steaks is spot on- those same people buy the thinnest steaks and don't know the difference between the 31-50 and 13-15 size shrimp. Have you ever eaten a shrimp kabob with those teeny ones?- you might as well eat earth worm kabobs. ick.

By lhb78 on June 21, 2011 01:24 PM

I'm wondering what the heck that is in the gross looking picture? Looks like maybe a fish of some kind?

By Sailing77 on June 21, 2011 12:47 PM

LOL. I had no idea you guys created entire articles out of our folly. Sweet! :P

By inaplasticcup on June 21, 2011 01:17 AM

....wait.. I'm a bad cook b/c I have a french manicure and have a clean kitchen? Fail.

By glamazonjade on June 20, 2011 07:43 PM

I use bottled lemon and garlic as back-ups when I don't have time to restock my pantry or am too exhausted to chop and clean my cutting board. I sometimes keep soy sauce packets because I don't like wasting food, even condiments. While not pristine on a daily basis, I prefer a clean kitchen to one that looks "used". While the article may elicit a chuckle, I really hope that it wasn't meant to be...+READ

I use bottled lemon and garlic as back-ups when I don't have time to restock my pantry or am too exhausted to chop and clean my cutting board. I sometimes keep soy sauce packets because I don't like wasting food, even condiments. While not pristine on a daily basis, I prefer a clean kitchen to one that looks "used". While the article may elicit a chuckle, I really hope that it wasn't meant to be taken seriously. And while I find Rachel Ray beyond annoying, she actually has some good ideas for the home chef... do you have to prepare a 5 star gourmet meal every single time you cook to be considered a great chef? Sometimes I think that people on this site don't have day jobs:}-COLLAPSE

By NicoleFriedman on June 20, 2011 05:13 PM

I liked it, I used to teach food science, to junior high students,Knife skills and choice of knives are a real give away , as to a well honed cook!!!!

By BH. on June 20, 2011 12:58 PM

Actually, just re-read this dreck (not sure why) and there is virtually no value in it what-so-ever, on top of the fact the author lacks an original thought in the entire piece.

By sreeser on June 20, 2011 09:46 AM

I agree with Joyce, I really don't care about enjoying our time together, I want to come over, snoop around and be overly critical and ungrateful about the meal you are preparing for me.

Oh wait that's not me that the Real Chefs of Irrelevant County.

Yes there are some useful points that would help almost any cook. However this is a horribly written piece with dreadful anecdotes that all...+READ

I agree with Joyce, I really don't care about enjoying our time together, I want to come over, snoop around and be overly critical and ungrateful about the meal you are preparing for me.

Oh wait that's not me that the Real Chefs of Irrelevant County.

Yes there are some useful points that would help almost any cook. However this is a horribly written piece with dreadful anecdotes that all but destroy those helpful points.-COLLAPSE

By sreeser on June 20, 2011 09:41 AM

I discovered Sriracha back in the 80s, and it DID make my Rice-a-Roni taste better! (Hey, I was 15.) I've also been to the actual town of Sriracha (it's in Thailand,) and know how to pronounce it correctly. Does that make me uber hipster?

By Tippy on June 20, 2011 05:55 AM

Top 10 signs of a bad writer:
(1) Writes things like, "while others _quail_ at the sight of..."

By Brock Lee Robb on June 20, 2011 05:15 AM

Hey, I keep those ketchup and soy sauce packets. Hmmm.

By CoffeeNCookies on June 19, 2011 10:10 PM

All of these things are too broad of a range to say anything about a cook! My Grandmother (Mema) is a hell of a cook and she has cream of whatevers everywhere in her pantry and her kitchen is and will be forever spotless! That's because she actually cleans! She cooks every Wednesday and Sunday for 13 people (our family) and everynight for my Grandpa and herself! But maybe thats just a country...+READ

All of these things are too broad of a range to say anything about a cook! My Grandmother (Mema) is a hell of a cook and she has cream of whatevers everywhere in her pantry and her kitchen is and will be forever spotless! That's because she actually cleans! She cooks every Wednesday and Sunday for 13 people (our family) and everynight for my Grandpa and herself! But maybe thats just a country thing... Chances are whoever wrote this 10 different things cook but its not appitizing!-COLLAPSE

By marshi1012011 on June 19, 2011 04:41 PM

The one thing that makes the meals I cook for friends, and the meals we cook for each other great? None of us are regular Chowhound contributors, thus keeping the wank/smug factor as near zero as possible.

By arcanium on June 19, 2011 03:28 PM

According to this, every cook I know is "suspect" to some degree. Yet, they all seem to do pretty well. Good wine and good company seem to have a lot to do with the success of a shared meal. I'd prefer hotdogs on a stick and Old Milwaukee in good company than chateaubriand and Opus X with the sort of tedious judgmental assholes that go around assessing people's kitchens. What would they make of...+READ

According to this, every cook I know is "suspect" to some degree. Yet, they all seem to do pretty well. Good wine and good company seem to have a lot to do with the success of a shared meal. I'd prefer hotdogs on a stick and Old Milwaukee in good company than chateaubriand and Opus X with the sort of tedious judgmental assholes that go around assessing people's kitchens. What would they make of my medicine cabinet or my garage?-COLLAPSE

By flavrmeistr on June 19, 2011 04:19 AM

To be honest, almost everything on this list is simply a sign that someone doesn't cook very often. So all it seems like this article is really saying is that people who are passionate about cooking are better than people who cook infrequently. And while that might feel like a nice pat on the back for everyone here, I think it's far better to encourage and support inexperienced cooks than to mock...+READ

To be honest, almost everything on this list is simply a sign that someone doesn't cook very often. So all it seems like this article is really saying is that people who are passionate about cooking are better than people who cook infrequently. And while that might feel like a nice pat on the back for everyone here, I think it's far better to encourage and support inexperienced cooks than to mock them.-COLLAPSE

By sanjacinto on June 19, 2011 01:35 AM

I am a fantastic cook. People RAVE about my food. I use precut garlic and pre-bottled lime juice sometimes. I do it when they are secondary flavors in my food, and I want to move things along. The fact that people generalize about using this or that making you automatically a bad cook is pretentious and ignorant. I can promise that if you absolutely have to have freshly chopped garlic, or lime...+READ

I am a fantastic cook. People RAVE about my food. I use precut garlic and pre-bottled lime juice sometimes. I do it when they are secondary flavors in my food, and I want to move things along. The fact that people generalize about using this or that making you automatically a bad cook is pretentious and ignorant. I can promise that if you absolutely have to have freshly chopped garlic, or lime juice when it isn't a primary flavor, maybe you are a bad cook. If people are noticing those singular elements about your food, then you didn't marry your flavors well enough and probably lack skills to make a good meal.-COLLAPSE

By sisterfunkhaus on June 18, 2011 09:28 PM

What a bunch of snobs. Remind me not to invite any of you over to dinner.

By Windy on June 18, 2011 11:43 AM

PS: Sorry for the typos. That's what happens when I type in a hurry. B.

By marlynn on June 18, 2011 05:54 AM

Wow, I just wrote a comment and it disappeared... I hate when that happens. To repeat, I don't really like generalizations. For instance, my seasonings may be dusty, as I haven't be able to cook since the December holidays. However, when I next cook, I will check all those spices and make sure they taste fresh and will discard those that don't. I think it's kind of rude to look into people's...+READ

Wow, I just wrote a comment and it disappeared... I hate when that happens. To repeat, I don't really like generalizations. For instance, my seasonings may be dusty, as I haven't be able to cook since the December holidays. However, when I next cook, I will check all those spices and make sure they taste fresh and will discard those that don't. I think it's kind of rude to look into people's cupboards and refrigerators, just t check up on them. Also, I do use canned tomatoes when making pomodoro sauce and people love it! There's a time and place for some of those short cuts. In our family, we've come to prefer a milder garlic taste and thus, I season with chopped garlic in a jar, which is delicious when used judiciously. I have to say that I do wonder how women with long, polished real or fake nails manage all the hand/veggie, etc. washing, while keeping those nails in perfect condition. Admiration is what I feel for the one friend who does that and manages to make great food, too. This may inspire a bunch of strong opposing opinions, but that's what makes discussion. Whatever... here's to good food!!!-COLLAPSE

By marlynn on June 18, 2011 05:51 AM

most people who love to cook(and eat) are good cooks. because when u enjoy something you usually do it well. it doesnt matter if its canned or not if they have the skills together. someone who can cook can make something taste better then it normally would.

By layla13 on June 18, 2011 05:42 AM

The only garlic in the kitchen is garlic salt. The only rice in the pantry is Minute Rice.

By Toni6921 on June 18, 2011 02:47 AM

Great article and right on the money. Those things would definitely be red flags to me and the cooking is almost always disappointing. Part 2 should be how to spot a great cook!

By TravelingBastards on June 17, 2011 10:29 PM

Forgot to add that the OP forgot to add...

"the after dinner coffee comes from a can."

I'd add "or a pod, or a bag that with a 'best used by ' instead of a roast date, or any coffee with oil on it... but I'd get yelled at for saying those things :-)

By Panini Guy on June 17, 2011 05:49 PM

You can make excuses for doing just about anything on the list. Using canned/frozen foods for convenience, using bottled garlic because you normally never use it, using/not using salt because growing up your food was too salty/not salty enough, etc. etc.

But you can't excuse light beer. You have to make a special trip to get the beer. Light beer sucks, period.

And I'm a professional too.

By Panini Guy on June 17, 2011 05:15 PM

It is incredibly disappointing how Chow has just become rife with snobbish hipsters. Both posters and authors have been afflicted.

Maybe Chow should figure out how to NOT repeat the same loop of recipe newsletters, improve website navigation, and recipe search instead of judging people. It reeks of overcompensation.

By ssharp on June 17, 2011 03:11 PM

Amen to #2! Assembling and cooking are not one and the same.

By SeasonwithReason on June 17, 2011 12:47 PM

they could and likely should have taken the house-guest angle out of this article. "Top 10 Signs that You're a Bad Cook (especially if you think you're a beast!)" would have been better. Look, you're not likely to blow anyone's head off if you don't salt (sparingly) as you go, it enhances flavor. People with salt-health issues didn't get there because people were seasoning fresh whole foods, is...+READ

they could and likely should have taken the house-guest angle out of this article. "Top 10 Signs that You're a Bad Cook (especially if you think you're a beast!)" would have been better. Look, you're not likely to blow anyone's head off if you don't salt (sparingly) as you go, it enhances flavor. People with salt-health issues didn't get there because people were seasoning fresh whole foods, is the point. If you think bacon makes everything better, try some duck fat. If half of your ingredients are pre-made, great, go for it, but someone else made that, so you're more like a contractor than a carpenter.

But most of you need to stop being so sensitive, either way. So the article took the negative spin, chill out. I don't think they're really saying that you should snoop in fridges and pantries. The themes are simple and true: try to be practical in the kitchen, keep an open mind with your ingredients and explore, sell your hundreds of dollars worth of appliances and start over with what you'll use, and let the ingredients and dishes do the talking.-COLLAPSE

By almostheavencook on June 17, 2011 12:25 PM

Everything off their grill is heavily charred... every time. The veggies are so blackened that they've long since given up their wondrous flavors. And these cooks say "it's better that way". OMG!

By cathydunham on June 17, 2011 12:23 PM

I LOVE YOU!!!! Thank you for putting into print some of the things that I've been saying for years!!! I espically agree with #6, #7 & #10!!!

By cbudris on June 17, 2011 12:21 PM

Haha love this. Another one is having no fresh herbs, pre-minced garlic in a jar, and an abundance of garlic salt.

By Amber411 on June 17, 2011 12:17 PM

Ha! "They have (suspect) food allergies." I'd put that at the top. I get so annoyed cooking for people that say they are allergic to things they don't like.

By upstartspider on June 17, 2011 12:17 PM

c'mon, guys. where this article goes wrong is that it should be for people who claim to be beasts in the kitchen and simply aren't, and it's for one of these or one of the commented reasons. no one is slamming people who are just trying to put food in someone's belly. but if you say you're a monster in the kitchen and still make these mistakes, then you need to get culinary a$$ kicked. So it went...+READ

c'mon, guys. where this article goes wrong is that it should be for people who claim to be beasts in the kitchen and simply aren't, and it's for one of these or one of the commented reasons. no one is slamming people who are just trying to put food in someone's belly. but if you say you're a monster in the kitchen and still make these mistakes, then you need to get culinary a$$ kicked. So it went out on a limb and went with the negative. don't be so sensitive.-COLLAPSE

By almostheavencook on June 17, 2011 12:10 PM

I'm very salt-sensitive so I tend to under salt my food. I always felt that it was easier for a diner to add salt to their dish than to take it out. But if I'm cooking for someone I know, then I make the necessary adjustments to their portion(s). To me, the sign of a bad cook is someone who is all about impressing themselves and doesn't consider their guests -- which includes the I AM THE GREAT...+READ

I'm very salt-sensitive so I tend to under salt my food. I always felt that it was easier for a diner to add salt to their dish than to take it out. But if I'm cooking for someone I know, then I make the necessary adjustments to their portion(s). To me, the sign of a bad cook is someone who is all about impressing themselves and doesn't consider their guests -- which includes the I AM THE GREAT UNDISCOVERED MASTERCHEF(!!) people.
I prefer the "Are you hungry? I can cook something..." and "I hope you like it" people.-COLLAPSE

By lepetitechef on June 17, 2011 11:54 AM

I agree w/most of these, esp. #5 on salting. Knowing when/how much to salt is, IMO, the first principle of cooking. I take mild issue w/#2' "cream o' crap" recipe soups. I'm with James Villas on this, who write in his book, "My Mother's Southern Kitchen" (pp.190-191, Broccoli Casserole recipe):

"Although my daddy disliked broccoli...when he was served this casserole at the home of a ...chum he...+READ

I agree w/most of these, esp. #5 on salting. Knowing when/how much to salt is, IMO, the first principle of cooking. I take mild issue w/#2' "cream o' crap" recipe soups. I'm with James Villas on this, who write in his book, "My Mother's Southern Kitchen" (pp.190-191, Broccoli Casserole recipe):

"Although my daddy disliked broccoli...when he was served this casserole at the home of a ...chum he loved it so much that he got the recipe and insisted that Mother reproduce it. In turn, she liked it so much she insisted I try it. Naturally I balked (as she had) over using canned soup as a base, and applied my ingenuity by creating and substituting a mushroom cream sauce. Don't ask me why but it was awful. We rarely use canned soups in cooking, but here's one example when the results are indeed delicious. Therefore I make no apologies."

I can say the same thing about 3-4 of the most delicious, most-requested-by-friends-and-family dishes in my recipe box. Canned condensed soups have never in their long history hurt anyone, they are time & ingredient-savers and a wondrous help in many situations. Blanket condemnation of them, IMO, is one of the Top 10 Signs of a Food Snob.-COLLAPSE

By SallyMcP on June 17, 2011 11:33 AM

I agree with #5. Unsalted food is difficult to fix. Part of being a good chef is knowing how much salt to use to bring out and/or enhance the flavors of the other ingredients. If a restaurant is oversalting its food, they have a bad chef. My mil never salted anything she cooked, and many of her dishes were simply unredeemable afterwards. For instance, chili, spaghetti, any of her soups.

By cwitzke on June 17, 2011 11:26 AM

Goodness gracious me. The posts are fantastic. Sometimes people get carried away.
Lighten up, guys. Food for friends, family and guests is prepared with a bit of stress. A critique of others is a reflection on ourselves.

By delfinpl on June 17, 2011 11:11 AM

I strongly agree with all of these except for #5. I realize this puts me at odds with master chefs who believe it's the chef's responsibility to "perfectly" salt food, but my philosophy is unless there is a non-flavor reason to put the salt in at a certain time (e.g., to help break down cell walls to let out juices), I prefer to make my food low-sodium if it's for guests and let them salt their...+READ

I strongly agree with all of these except for #5. I realize this puts me at odds with master chefs who believe it's the chef's responsibility to "perfectly" salt food, but my philosophy is unless there is a non-flavor reason to put the salt in at a certain time (e.g., to help break down cell walls to let out juices), I prefer to make my food low-sodium if it's for guests and let them salt their own food. You can always add more salt later, but you can't subtract salt and the last thing I want is for my food to be oversalted like restaurant food almost ALWAYS is. This is part of my overall philosophy of following the Italian style of letting diners add the condiments themselves to suite their own tastes. The right amount of salt is a very individual thing and it's also a health thing.

I also like McGyvear's post - I think a good sign of a bad chef is over-emphasis on decor. I recall a certain thanksgiving where the emphasis was all on how the table was decorated and the food was... blah. Note that kitsch is a good sign of a good Italian restaurant (e.g., fake grapes).-COLLAPSE

By pinkboi on June 17, 2011 10:47 AM

All these are good physical attributes of the person and place making bad food. Here's an emotional aspect that makes for a bad cook or bad food:
- cooking when you are angry or stressed. Food gets the same energy as you put into it.
- Like horse sense food can sense when the cook is nervous and not sure what they are doing. Same recipe made by a happy confident cook vs. nervous stressed person...+READ

All these are good physical attributes of the person and place making bad food. Here's an emotional aspect that makes for a bad cook or bad food:
- cooking when you are angry or stressed. Food gets the same energy as you put into it.
- Like horse sense food can sense when the cook is nervous and not sure what they are doing. Same recipe made by a happy confident cook vs. nervous stressed person will taste very different.-COLLAPSE

By nalini mehta on June 17, 2011 10:47 AM

Many years ago, we were invited to a couple's home for dinner (after having had them over). The wife kept dropping hints about how special the dinner was going to be. The table was set with tall white candles (never got lit), a white lace table cloth, their best china and the overhead lighting was on super bright the entire evening. When it came time for dinner, she removed a package of frozen...+READ

Many years ago, we were invited to a couple's home for dinner (after having had them over). The wife kept dropping hints about how special the dinner was going to be. The table was set with tall white candles (never got lit), a white lace table cloth, their best china and the overhead lighting was on super bright the entire evening. When it came time for dinner, she removed a package of frozen "Oriental" vegetables from the freezer, and stir-fried them with chunks of chicken breast. There was nothing else. It was so vile, I could barely eat. Makes you wonder what a regular meal would be in that home!-COLLAPSE

By McGyvear on June 17, 2011 10:21 AM

A resounding "amen" with Sign #5 by Cakegirl!

By SaltTraders on June 17, 2011 06:24 AM

How dare they look into their "host's"/"hostesses" pantries to come up with sad, uneducated criticisms of the "Just Add Water, Heat and Serve" cook. You want salt in your diet? Just Add Water, Heat and Serve.
The nail thing??? How do you know the nails were not applied AFTER the cooking and baking? If you are any kind of a cook/baker, you know what these two culinary skills do to fingernails. If...+READ

How dare they look into their "host's"/"hostesses" pantries to come up with sad, uneducated criticisms of the "Just Add Water, Heat and Serve" cook. You want salt in your diet? Just Add Water, Heat and Serve.
The nail thing??? How do you know the nails were not applied AFTER the cooking and baking? If you are any kind of a cook/baker, you know what these two culinary skills do to fingernails. If everyone was such a wonderful cook, there would be no need for Sites such as CHOW. Lighten up folks, and give the cook a break.-COLLAPSE

By sarmale on June 17, 2011 04:38 AM

I'm a touch irritated by the food allergies comment. I have a severe intolerance to alliums and it makes my life hell. It's also made me one hell of a cook, in large part because I can't touch ~80% of processed foods.

By kitkat973 on June 17, 2011 12:11 AM

The one who bitches about a lack of local ingredients cracks me up. I'm sorry I don't have time to run to the local farmer's market. Usually I work the weekends and that kind of kills my ability to get there. Or I work nights and am sleeping. LAME.

usually to me a bad cook is someone with a lack of imagination. Also the nail thing.. no they might be a good cook.. I'd just question their...+READ

The one who bitches about a lack of local ingredients cracks me up. I'm sorry I don't have time to run to the local farmer's market. Usually I work the weekends and that kind of kills my ability to get there. Or I work nights and am sleeping. LAME.

usually to me a bad cook is someone with a lack of imagination. Also the nail thing.. no they might be a good cook.. I'd just question their hygeine GROSS-COLLAPSE

By tarotchan on June 16, 2011 12:35 PM

WOW! Reading all your comments. Am I just strange? I just thought the article was funny. Was I supposed to take it seriously?

By red_dog on June 16, 2011 10:06 AM

It appears the comments were gleened from various Chowhound threads. I have a few additional indications of a poor cook: little enthusiasm to cook, little seasoning, little confidence in the kitchen, knives that go into the dishwasher and they never stray from a printed recipe.

By John E. on June 16, 2011 07:51 AM

Instead of a negative article about signs of a "bad" cook how about a positive article what are the signs of a "good" cook? Here's one: a good cook can make a tasty meal out of any ingredients they find in the cupboard!
About salt: a little goes a long way but herbs/spices will take you further.

By lochan on June 16, 2011 07:21 AM

In addition to agreeing that the snob-factor of this article was painful - I'm not sure if I even get what the point was. If the article had been Top Ten Signs of a Good/Bad Farmer's Market - then the point of the article would have been about choosing to shop there or not. However, with home cooks (friends, family, romantic partners, etc), how often is the point of eating such a meal entirely...+READ

In addition to agreeing that the snob-factor of this article was painful - I'm not sure if I even get what the point was. If the article had been Top Ten Signs of a Good/Bad Farmer's Market - then the point of the article would have been about choosing to shop there or not. However, with home cooks (friends, family, romantic partners, etc), how often is the point of eating such a meal entirely about the food? Was the article saying that after snooping through your host's kitchen you should refuse to eat?

The gist of the article felt as though it was simply about building some people up by trashing others. Or worse, shaming people for their non-top flight kitchens or cooking skills.-COLLAPSE

By cresyd on June 16, 2011 04:10 AM

I thought this article was very snobby. There are a lot of things that I haven't cooked with and my knife skills are crap but I get a lot of compliments over my cooking and yet people keep coming over to eat. I don't see a point in cooking with something because it has a fancy name but I also don't like the pre-packaged over produced food either.

By DVentSaint on June 15, 2011 07:13 PM

@givemecarbs: Hey, say quotable stuff, we'll quote you. : ) Agree, I absolutely despise the Kraft "parmesan"

By pointybird on June 15, 2011 06:11 PM

Look, I'm a personal chef and I love exploring and experimenting with food, but I found this article seriously pretentious. While it is sad when some one misses out on enjoying a well cooked medium rare steak, it doesn't make them an awful cook. Rachael Ray may make my skin crawl personally, but if her 20 variations of sliders make some one cook at home instead of eating at McDonald's, that's...+READ

Look, I'm a personal chef and I love exploring and experimenting with food, but I found this article seriously pretentious. While it is sad when some one misses out on enjoying a well cooked medium rare steak, it doesn't make them an awful cook. Rachael Ray may make my skin crawl personally, but if her 20 variations of sliders make some one cook at home instead of eating at McDonald's, that's positive change. Oh, and I do have ketchup packets in my fridge occasionally, in case I grill out and someone comes over who wants it. (I HATE ketchup and don't want to waste a bottle of it sitting in my fridge.) The commentators in this article could use a couple heaping tablespoons of empathy.-COLLAPSE

By kb8240 on June 15, 2011 05:57 PM

Taking issue with #1 as I type this with my long acrylic nails. The fakes are fantastically durable, low maintenance ( except for going every two weeks to get them done) AND they allow you to pick up small incredibly hot things without burning your fingers. Granted, mine are not very long, but I consider them the best way to keep my nails looking good after all that hand washing, dishwashing,...+READ

Taking issue with #1 as I type this with my long acrylic nails. The fakes are fantastically durable, low maintenance ( except for going every two weeks to get them done) AND they allow you to pick up small incredibly hot things without burning your fingers. Granted, mine are not very long, but I consider them the best way to keep my nails looking good after all that hand washing, dishwashing, etc. So there!-COLLAPSE

By laura w on June 15, 2011 05:31 PM

Whatever happened to being a gracious guest and being thankful that a friend (your words, not mine) offered to cook dinner? No one is born a gourmet chef and if someone is trying I think that is wonderful - especially in a world of take out, fast food, pre-fab meals. I mean, dull knives? Really?

By jenifersrecipes on June 15, 2011 05:13 PM

I agree with Stan555. I hate it when my friends introduce me to other people and mention that I'm a 'foodie'; it gives people who don't me the impression that I'm pretentious when it comes to food, which in truth I can be but not to the extent of this article. I'm a cook by trade so I'd rather not get confused with a type of pretentious hipster cliche.
As for the content of the article, yes I...+READ

I agree with Stan555. I hate it when my friends introduce me to other people and mention that I'm a 'foodie'; it gives people who don't me the impression that I'm pretentious when it comes to food, which in truth I can be but not to the extent of this article. I'm a cook by trade so I'd rather not get confused with a type of pretentious hipster cliche.
As for the content of the article, yes I agree to an extent. I didn't come from the richest childhood but I'll be damned if anyone ever said my mother wasn't a good cook for using shortcuts. My friends often ask me for recommendations on casual eats and are shocked when I point them to a low brow restaurant, food stand, or even a food truck. When you come from a certain background, you learn to improvise with what you have and develop a peculiar creativity with even the most meager ingredients. That's how this trade of culinary arts was started: people making the best with what little they had. So before you criticize someone based on what's in their pantry or fridge, why not TRY their food first?

And Maxmillion is right, what kind of snob pokes around someone's pantry?-COLLAPSE

By rizion89 on June 15, 2011 04:48 PM

@merryann The addition of salt is more to do with the chemical reaction which it causes in difference circumstances ie. bringing things to the boil faster, breaking down particular protein chains and making bitter elements sweeter. I guess that the reference to adding salt is when you are making something from scratch. If you are adding a pre-done sauce then that is a little different. Also it is...+READ

@merryann The addition of salt is more to do with the chemical reaction which it causes in difference circumstances ie. bringing things to the boil faster, breaking down particular protein chains and making bitter elements sweeter. I guess that the reference to adding salt is when you are making something from scratch. If you are adding a pre-done sauce then that is a little different. Also it is very much part of the french school, if you where cooking Thai food for example then the fish sauce would be your salt component.

I think that a really good sign that some one can't cook is a heavy reliance on pre-packaged items that are pumped full of E numbers and flavour boosters. Also a lack of any fresh herbs.-COLLAPSE

By bald lemon co. on June 15, 2011 04:46 PM

whether a person likes their meat well done shouldn't define whether they're a foodie or not. I don't like red meat because I have a hard time eating meat as it is for animal cruelty reasons...don't need another reminder of what it is I'm eating!

By lara1980 on June 15, 2011 04:13 PM

My dad thinks he is the greatest cook, but I cannot stand his cooking. I think cooking is extremely subjective. I also think that it depends on one's palate. If it doesn't agree with you, move on. Over the years, I've found that everyone is a chef. I cook the way I want. Sometimes people like it, sometimes they don't, but at least they've tried something different. I was ripped apart when I went...+READ

My dad thinks he is the greatest cook, but I cannot stand his cooking. I think cooking is extremely subjective. I also think that it depends on one's palate. If it doesn't agree with you, move on. Over the years, I've found that everyone is a chef. I cook the way I want. Sometimes people like it, sometimes they don't, but at least they've tried something different. I was ripped apart when I went to culinary school, but it was because my tastes were more subtle than what the instructors wanted.-COLLAPSE

By motoware on June 15, 2011 03:59 PM

I seldom add salt to food that has sauces or other ingredients that already contain salt. My husband has 1 kidney & high blood pressure. I don't have the food allergies - he does - dairy (so I use soy milk & cheese unless I make something for myself alone). We have to watch his potassium (that means soak the raw potatoes in water a minimum of 2 hours before cooking & DO NOT save the water). We...+READ

I seldom add salt to food that has sauces or other ingredients that already contain salt. My husband has 1 kidney & high blood pressure. I don't have the food allergies - he does - dairy (so I use soy milk & cheese unless I make something for myself alone). We have to watch his potassium (that means soak the raw potatoes in water a minimum of 2 hours before cooking & DO NOT save the water). We also have to watch his sugar intake, as well as non-natural sweeteners (like Aspartame) because of prostrate problems. Then add the fruits & vegies he doesn't like to the mix.

Now, would someone like to tell me how bad a cook I am because of what I have or don't have in my cupboard or fridge?-COLLAPSE

By merryann on June 15, 2011 03:56 PM

Felila I meant the stuff in the green cardboard tube. Nuttin' wrong with some shortcuts. Wow I got quoted twice! Was a fun read Joyce. And not just my comments he he he!

By givemecarbs on June 15, 2011 02:43 PM

If someone invites you to dinner...you eat. Whatever it is, as long as it probably won't make you sick, you eat. I learned this lesson as a kid, while struggling through my grandmother's awful (for several of these reasons) cooking. Think whatever you want. Be catty behind their backs. Just sit there and eat the awful mashed turnips you're given and don't make faces! Who raised these people?

By Blitherypoop on June 15, 2011 02:27 PM

5. They don't salt their food. "As if that's such a virtue," sneers Cakegirl. "Food without ANY salt equals food without flavor. Also, a lot of people say 'I never cook with salt,' not realizing that they cook with a lot of processed foods (canned tomatoes, condiments, etc.) that contain plenty of salt."

I seldom add salt to my meals while cooking (well, always when roasting...) and it is for...+READ

5. They don't salt their food. "As if that's such a virtue," sneers Cakegirl. "Food without ANY salt equals food without flavor. Also, a lot of people say 'I never cook with salt,' not realizing that they cook with a lot of processed foods (canned tomatoes, condiments, etc.) that contain plenty of salt."

I seldom add salt to my meals while cooking (well, always when roasting...) and it is for precisely this reason -- ingredients such as canned tomatoes already contain ample quantities of salt. No one has ever complained that my gourmet meals are bland.

And who goes poking around in someone else's pantry?!?!-COLLAPSE

By Maxmillion on June 15, 2011 01:33 PM

Reeks of pretentiousness. But YES. I use pre-grated Parmesan (from my health food coop, better than the supermarket cheese), crushed garlic (local company run by Korean immigrants), and have RealLemon on hand in case I don't have a fresh lemon. I also use Sriracha in my Empress dal and Gujarati-style green beans. My guests think I'm a good cook.

It depends on where you decide to spend your...+READ

Reeks of pretentiousness. But YES. I use pre-grated Parmesan (from my health food coop, better than the supermarket cheese), crushed garlic (local company run by Korean immigrants), and have RealLemon on hand in case I don't have a fresh lemon. I also use Sriracha in my Empress dal and Gujarati-style green beans. My guests think I'm a good cook.

It depends on where you decide to spend your time, yes? I may use some shortcuts, but I also grind my own chai spice and have been baking my own bread for years.-COLLAPSE

By Felila on June 15, 2011 12:46 PM

I assume #4 is about trendy ingredients. I violently cling to the belief that butter and salt make everything better.

By Captainspirou on June 15, 2011 12:24 PM

well said anantelope.

By cjung83 on June 15, 2011 11:57 AM

My god, this article WREAKS of pretentiousness. I could barely get through it. This is what's wrong with the cooking community and what causes so many people to be too afraid to start cooking.

By Stan555 on June 15, 2011 10:49 AM