Fear the Clear Beer

Coors, what can’t you do for beer, you amazing multinational behemoth? In one of the most condescending gestures toward women since the anti-suffrage movement, Coors has decided to introduce a clear beer to Britain in order to appeal to female drinkers. As reported by UK tabloid the Daily Star, Coors plans to test market the unnamed 4 percent ABV beverage in pubs this summer. Here’s the heart of the beast:

“The clear drink is put through an extreme filtering process that removes its color and it can be flavored with green tea and exotic fruits.”

The truly tragic thing is that there’s already a solution available for people seeking to sell skeptical women on the wonders of beer: It’s called lambic.