Ask RuBo: Are Celebrity Chef Restaurants Worth It?

Published on Tuesday, February 1, 2011, by Ruth Bourdain / Edit Post

Ruth Bourdain is a fictional mash-up of Ruth Reichl and Anthony Bourdain.

My husband and I are going to New York City for four days on vacation, and he's all gaga about going to Eataly. I'm loath to patronize any kind of celebrity food venture: I got burned really bad at a Tyler Florence joint in San Francisco recently. But maybe I'm being reverse snobby. What's your opinion on celebrity food ventures, and do you think Eataly's worth a visit in particular?

I feel your pain. I've been burned really bad too. Specifically, by a flame that leapt right off of one of Guy Fieri's horrible shirts onto my hair. Luckily, the burns to my neck healed completely thanks in large part to a custom skin graft I received from an Ibérico pig.

But, getting back to your question, when it comes to these celebrity chef establishments, you really need to adjust your expectations. First of all, don't think that you're going to actually see a celebrity chef in the flesh at one of these joints; this is an extremely rare occurrence. Most celebrity chefs haven't seen a professional kitchen in years, and most of them don't even know how to fucking cook anymore. Did you know that Wolfgang Puck hasn't seen the outside of a QVC studio for more than a decade? And, even if you do wet your pants when you think you've seen your favorite chef, chances are it's really just an impersonator. Emeril Lagasse, for example, is infamous for using doubles at his restaurants. He's the Saddam Hussein of the restaurant industry.

You also need to steer absolutely clear of douchey gastro-gimmickry. Michael Chiarello's NapaStyle is one thing—if you are into kinky sex toys made out of wine barrel staves—but Ferran Adrià's El Bulli Bar and Sports Grill seems like a brand extension that has just gone too fucking far. And the merchandising is what really kills me. Listen up, Rick Bayless: Does the world really need an epazote-scented blue corn yoga mat? I think not.

It doesn't have to be all bad, however. The one celebrity chef who always does branding right is Thomas Keller. His Bouchon Bakery & Spa in Calistoga, California, is fucking phenomenal. I love his Butter Poaching Treatment: a total immersion in pure, organic butter churned from the milk of grass-fed cows and heated to the melting point by the warmth of natural springs. It's so fucking unctuous. Ask for the happy ending with "extra finesse."

So, yes, go ahead and visit Eataly for the amazing selection of imported Italian artisanal foods, the cheese selection, and the cured meats, but don't expect to see the real Mario, and stay the fuck away from souvenirs like Mario's "signature" gelato sundae served in a pair of commemorative orange Crocs or the "official" Batali ponytail holder made out of Sardinian sheep intestines.

Got an etiquette dilemma for RuBo? Email ruth.bourdain@chow.com.

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  • Exactly, EarlyBird. The repeated (and repeated, and repeated, and repeated) use of the word "fuck" cements Bourdain's status as "Edgy And Unpredictable Celebrity Chef." Good thing it works, or I might not know him as such.

  • but do prepare to see someone from the bastianich family. i've seen one of them every time ive been to eataly.

  • I can tell this is a very funny column because Bourdain uses the word "fuck" a lot. Haha. I feel like a sophisticated foodie insider when I read it.

  • A bonus in Toronto is Ruby Watchco. Its Chef Lynn Crawford's set menu amazing restaurant. Very unpretentious and Ms. Crawford is frequently there working in the open, without an ego or attitude. Check it out... http://rubywatchco.ca/

  • We had the pleasure of meeting the big sister of Stephanie from The Girl and the Goat at a WA wine tasting in Chicago recently. She introduced herself when my husband and I were talking about how aghast we were when an annoying guest at the event bullied her tall-blonde way (past the line of people waiting for a taste of Stephanie's amazing small bites) so that she could take her picture standing...+READ

    We had the pleasure of meeting the big sister of Stephanie from The Girl and the Goat at a WA wine tasting in Chicago recently. She introduced herself when my husband and I were talking about how aghast we were when an annoying guest at the event bullied her tall-blonde way (past the line of people waiting for a taste of Stephanie's amazing small bites) so that she could take her picture standing next to -- excuse me -- a WORKING celebrity chef in her own kitchen (albeit temporary). The grace with which Chef Stephanie handled this interuption was why we said "absolutely" when our good friend called way in advance for a reservation for four. We enjoyed our first dining experience at The Girl and The Goat a few days ago, in celebration of my husband's birthday. Each of four diners ordered their two favorites on the menu, paired with Stephanie's house brand red wine. We couldn't have been more pleased. Each dish was clearly from the vision and hands of a gifted kitchen. Her skate wing preparation, perfect fresh oysters, a sun choke soup that was out-of-this world, and squid stuffed with her own sausages were absolutely agnificent. I could go on and on about each dish, but I'll close by saying how delighted I when the bill was suprisingly modest in comparison to other establishments owned by other less approachable celebrities. (And yes, I did meet Stephanie and thank her at the end of the wine tasting, when she was wrapping up and no longer busy with preparing food. No photo necessary--the memory is enough.)-COLLAPSE

  • RuBo, you my friend are spot on ! AS a Chef Instructor for Chefs,
    I have seen 100's of TV Celebrity Chefs who could never run a restaurant.
    Fd Netwrk is a JOKE, luckily it has a following. NapaStyle = Limp Lettuce for yuppies. Rick, hey Amigo, it's only a taco !

  • SophieWIPA...to whom are you addressing your comments? :)

  • What about Fd N-wrks gathering of loser/potential Top Chefs? Do you think there's any hanky-panky going on there? If each chef were rated a la movie, they might get a "B". Their celebrity is because they were on Top Chef, primarily, I think. Although I believe many have value, I wonder if there were "plants" to spice up the show (Marcel). But, Top Chef also had a series about A+ rated chefs. My...+READ

    What about Fd N-wrks gathering of loser/potential Top Chefs? Do you think there's any hanky-panky going on there? If each chef were rated a la movie, they might get a "B". Their celebrity is because they were on Top Chef, primarily, I think. Although I believe many have value, I wonder if there were "plants" to spice up the show (Marcel). But, Top Chef also had a series about A+ rated chefs. My question is, do you think these shows are relevant? Are they the equalizers? Are they real? And, if so, how much?-COLLAPSE

  • This post produced a number of belly chuckles, thank god for the honest advice. That Wolfgang Puck always drove me nuts, glad I'm not alone on that one.

    Wonderful to know after all these years that Thomas Keller remains one of your favorite chefs. To this day I salivate at the description of that epic meal you had at The French Laundry in a A Cook's Tour. I recount the description of that meal...+READ

    This post produced a number of belly chuckles, thank god for the honest advice. That Wolfgang Puck always drove me nuts, glad I'm not alone on that one.

    Wonderful to know after all these years that Thomas Keller remains one of your favorite chefs. To this day I salivate at the description of that epic meal you had at The French Laundry in a A Cook's Tour. I recount the description of that meal for fun at foodie parties. Mmmmm.-COLLAPSE

  • Best RuPaul story yet. Even had a "happy ending".

  • Truly great celebrity chefs in the future will be holographically projected. Conquering culinary mediocrity requires face time, and projectors are better for the environment.

  • I actually did see Mario Bataly at Eataly. I thought that was weird. I saw him when I ate at Babbo too. Total fluke.

  • go because your husband wants to go. don't be a jerk.

  • From all reports Eataly is worth a visit, though a bit pricey.

  • I've been to a few of these establishments over time. If only I could find one that was the right mix of good service (without being snobby) with good food and reasonable prices. Bobby Flat Steak in the Borgata in Atlantic City was one of the best meals I've had in the last year, but for the prices we were paying we shouldn't have had a "turn 'n' burn" experience. The service at Gordon Ramsay's...+READ

    I've been to a few of these establishments over time. If only I could find one that was the right mix of good service (without being snobby) with good food and reasonable prices. Bobby Flat Steak in the Borgata in Atlantic City was one of the best meals I've had in the last year, but for the prices we were paying we shouldn't have had a "turn 'n' burn" experience. The service at Gordon Ramsay's place in the London Hotel (NYC) was good, but snooty, and for the prices the portions were ridiculously small! I don't mind AT ALL paying money for good food- hell, I'd gladly shell out a couple hundred at one of Keller's restaurants- but if I'm paying $100/person sans alcohol I expect an experience. I don't have to see the Man Behind The Curtain, either- I know better than to expect that.-COLLAPSE

  • IT seems like the person who wrote in wasn't so concern with seeing the celebrity chef, but was afraid that the food or experience wouldn't match the hype. Personally, I think the best thing to do is to research your options carefully, read reviews, read Chowhound, and I think you'll get a pretty good sense of what you're in for.

  • I think the celebrity chef restaurants are worth a try. I went to 3 of Batali's places and saw him in Babbo. During Jazz Fest one year, I went to K Paul's in N'Orleans and Paul Prudhomme was there - it was a great deal for lunch, too. It's fun, why not?

  • Actually, Puck is usually found glad-handing around the dining room of the Beverly Hills Spago, not that it's some kind of treat or anything. As with any LA restaurant, the food is OK and made by the usual crew of recent culinary school graduates and illegal aliens. No celebrity chef is ever on the line anymore. The most they do is find investors, builders and designers, write the menu, hire a...+READ

    Actually, Puck is usually found glad-handing around the dining room of the Beverly Hills Spago, not that it's some kind of treat or anything. As with any LA restaurant, the food is OK and made by the usual crew of recent culinary school graduates and illegal aliens. No celebrity chef is ever on the line anymore. The most they do is find investors, builders and designers, write the menu, hire a general manager and the back-of-the-house staff, and then show up for the opening. That's it.-COLLAPSE

  • THAT WAS HYSTERICAL!!!!

    IMO--Eatly is fun...dont like it for a 'meal' too crowded -- but fun for a drink or dessert and shopping.

    I'm torn on celebrity chef establishments...tho they have been some of my best meals (French Laundry, per se, daniel, Bottega, etc.)

    Chiarello is always at Bottega hanging out with customers...one of the most pleasent men I have ever met.

    Also, have a new...+READ

    THAT WAS HYSTERICAL!!!!

    IMO--Eatly is fun...dont like it for a 'meal' too crowded -- but fun for a drink or dessert and shopping.

    I'm torn on celebrity chef establishments...tho they have been some of my best meals (French Laundry, per se, daniel, Bottega, etc.)

    Chiarello is always at Bottega hanging out with customers...one of the most pleasent men I have ever met.

    Also, have a new fav in celebrity eating...I can't get enough of Butter. Meals there have been so, so, so good I literally dream of some of the dished there.-COLLAPSE

  • Can we just agree that, even taking his "TV celebrity" status into account, Batali remains not only one of the better chefs to watch, but seems like a wonderfully genuinely nice person?

    So, I kinda wanna eat-a at-a the Eataly!

  • Wait a minute. Thomas Keller poaches butlers? How the hell do you poach a butler? Talk about the rich eating the poor....Oops, sorry, you said "butter" poaching, not "butler." But my mistake is understandable, considering that only the rich can afford to eat at a Keller restaurant.

  • Mario Batali held the door for my mother and me as we were walking into one of his restaurants.

  • Seriously, could someone tell Fieri it's not 1994 anymore??

  • Loved the response. But truly, you can just walk thru eataly and check it out. Last time I did, Mario himself was at the bar.....

  • Even better than the last one. Under all the sardonic wit, this one had legitimately appropriate advice, (a move that will hopefully inoculate against the inevitable venom), and was still a fun read.

    Course, I'm biased, because I too have been injured by one of Fieri's horrible shirts.