Craptails: New Year’s Resolution Edition

The Regular Old Mary Craptails New Year's Resolutions Edition

Resolution: Lose weight

The Regular Old Mary

Bloody Marys keep throwing fixin's at you until you burst like a fat tick on a dog; they're practically a drinkable brunch. But the Regular Old Mary keeps it real—real skinny, that is. It's a refreshing, health-conscious combination of vodka, celery, and water—and that's all. Anything more than that and you will gain weight. Guaranteed to define your new lifestyle until roughly January 11, when something moderately distracting happens, you accidentally eat a cheeseburger, and all bets go back to being off.