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Trader Joe's Chocolate Flavored Egg Nog
I Paid: $2.99 for 1 quart (prices may vary by region)
There's something about the iconic goodness of eggnog that lends itself to all sorts of irresponsible holiday-season tinkering, largely for the worse. So the only sensible reaction you can have upon spotting Trader Joe's Chocolate Flavored Egg Nog is, "Good Lord, what have they done now?"
The concept is pretty straightforward: Take the rich, creamy, indulgent holiday taste of eggnog and layer in chocolate for an X-to-the-power-of-Y expansion of the beverage's celebratory impact. This stuff should be so rich, so sweet, so celebratory that one cup should instantly put you in the mood to party—until mid-February or thereabouts.
In fact, one cup of this stuff instantly puts you in the mood to gargle with salt water.
At first, Chocolate Flavored Egg Nog tastes like thick chocolate milk. Then it tastes like "off" chocolate milk. Is it pre-laced with bottom-shelf alcohol? Some sort of personal grooming product? While thick, the stuff doesn't taste particularly eggy, and the chocolate flavor gets lost amid the nasty chemical back note.
Upon first trying this, I doubted my own senses and thought: "Wait, it's chocolate eggnog—this can't possibly taste bad, right?" So I asked my wife, Becca, to sample it, careful not to bias her perception. It went like this:
ME: Hey, honey. Try this! It's chocolate eggnog, by Trader Joe's.
BECCA: Oh, no. Oh, that's terrible.
ME: Yes! I totally thought so too! Good Lord.
In conclusion: Eggnog is enough by itself. If you're going to add anything, add fresh-grated nutmeg and/or high-quality rum. Fa la la la la, la la la, that's it.
I am a chocaholic, wasn't really interested in chococlate egg nogg though. My 23 yr old extremely picky son loved it. Everyone has different tastes obviously.
I tried it. It was delicious. My whole family loved it. I can't believe it got such criticism.
Hey, I put brandy in it with a sprinkle of nutmeg, and it tastes much better.
Ditto. It was awful. And what happened to Chipwich this year?
Yeah, agreed! This was a total miss. Didn't they ... TASTE it?
There's one and only ONE and it's absolutely the best eggnog in the whole world, and the recipe appeared in the Food Section of the Chicago Tribune I would say in the early 80's. How can anyone drink that crap that comes in those cartons from the store? Here's the recipe: Separate 6 eggs; beat the yolks with an electric mixer until thick and light, then gradually add 1 cup sugar, beating...+READ
There's one and only ONE and it's absolutely the best eggnog in the whole world, and the recipe appeared in the Food Section of the Chicago Tribune I would say in the early 80's. How can anyone drink that crap that comes in those cartons from the store? Here's the recipe: Separate 6 eggs; beat the yolks with an electric mixer until thick and light, then gradually add 1 cup sugar, beating constantly. Continue beating while adding 1 cup Grand Marnier, 1/2 to 1 cup dark rum and 1/2 cup brandy. Chill 1 hour, stirring occasionally. Slowly add 1-1/2 quarts milk. Beat whites until stiff and glossy. Beat 3 cups whipping cream and fold the whits and cream into the yolk mixture. Cover and refrigerate a day or more before serving. Calories ? who's counting. Drink responsibly and have a wonderful holiday.-COLLAPSE
I'm with you on this one. Pretty bad stuff.
Chocolate chips in banana bread results in a loaf of 150% pure win. There is absolutely NOTHING bad about that combination.
Eggnog, not so much!
I love egg nog and I love chocolate but I couldn't finish the carton even when I added Kraken rum, nutmeg and whipped cream. I did manage to finish the glass with the rum added. I couldn't find the egg nog booze you reviewed recently here in the barren wastelands of Penna but I tried Evan Williams traditional southern egg nog from the liquor store and it wasn't half bad. I'm the only one in my...+READ
I love egg nog and I love chocolate but I couldn't finish the carton even when I added Kraken rum, nutmeg and whipped cream. I did manage to finish the glass with the rum added. I couldn't find the egg nog booze you reviewed recently here in the barren wastelands of Penna but I tried Evan Williams traditional southern egg nog from the liquor store and it wasn't half bad. I'm the only one in my household who loves egg nog so the smaller bottle works for me.-COLLAPSE
That brownie recipe with bananas in it from the Moosewood Cookbook is pretty good...
Oatmeal-chocolate-chip cookies: also divine. Plus they have fiber, if you're the kind of person who thinks about that when they eat a cookie. Which I admit I sometimes am.
As for the Egg nog . . . not *everything* is improved by chocolate or bacon. (Which leads me to: bacon-and-eggnog? Ewww.)
Uh.. Chocolate and BananaBread really do work.
Chocolate in egg nog, no.
Chocolate in oatmeal cookies, no.
Chocolate in any pumpkin dessert, no.
Chocolate in banana bread, no.
Agree, I tried it at the daily tasting counter one day. Eggnog is just not something you should mess with. It tasted like Ovaline, less sweeter and with a hint of egg nog flavor. Wrong on so many levels TJ
Over the past few years TJs has come up with more losers than winners in their packaged foods lines. Just being consistent, I guess.
I made Egg Nog ice cream in a Donvier once, and even I thought it was too rich!
My own attempts at chocolate egg nog have been dismal; I guess it's comforting that even the hallowed TJ's can't get this one to work. Thanks again for your brave testing.