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In the New York Times, Florence Fabricant gives advice on the fine points of entertaining at home and eating in restaurants. Here, Ruth Bourdain takes those questions and gives her own fucking answers.
One of my pet peeves is being called "sweetie" by a server who is near my age or younger. I find it rude. I make exceptions if the server is clearly a grandmother-type. I also let it slide if it's a one-time infraction, but at a recent birthday dinner for a family member (no children present), the server uttered "sweetie" so often that I actually found myself ready to bite back with a rude comment that probably would have hurt her feelings. I bit my tongue and never said anything. Is there a polite way to deter this behavior?
Are you absolutely, totally, and completely positive your server was not uttering the word "sweetbreads"? Unlike "sweetie," calling someone "sweetbreads" is a term of affection in my book. The same goes for "tripe face," "beef cheeks," and "my little pork belly." It's offal cute.
On the other hand, if she really was calling you "sweetie"—and you are a grown woman—you are perfectly within your rights to tell her to knock it off. In fact, I think it's your responsibility. Something along the lines of "STOP FUCKING CALLING ME 'SWEETIE' YOU GODDAMNED MORON!" can be very effective.
Now, if that doesn't work, and the charm-bot persists in her zeal to suffocate you with sweetness like some kind of saccharine hospitality iteration of HAL 9000, you need to turn the situation to your psychological advantage by quickly improvising a drinking game on the spot: One drink for every utterance of "sweetie"; two if she calls you "sweetie pie"; and three if she calls you "sweetie pie honey bunch." Trust me, you'll forget about her (and just about everything) in no time.
This weekend, a friend and I hemmed and hawed over where to go for brunch. Hungry and frustrated with our own indecisiveness, we abruptly decided to eat at one of our favorite diners. Shortly after sitting down and ordering water, we realized we really, really wanted the Florentine eggs Benedict from another restaurant. We didn't know how to make a graceful exit! We considered faking an urgent phone call ("Say WHAT!? We'll be right there!") but in the end, I told them we no longer felt like breakfast food and left the waiter a few dollars for water well-poured. Was this the best way to handle the situation? I don't want the waitstaff to feel snubbed because I still like to go there regularly.
I have to tell you that you completely lost me at ordering eggs Benedict in a diner. What the fuck? Who does that? Stick to the basics: pancakes, French toast, scrambled eggs, bacon, etc. Color me perplexed.
Leaving that questionable matter aside, of course you are not required to stay in a restaurant if you have changed your mind, particularly if you haven't even ordered. But, getting up and leaving is a tricky matter, especially if you are a regular.
I like your idea of coming up with a ruse to get your ass out of the eatery, and a fake phone call can be very effective. What you never want to do is plan an escape from a windowless restaurant bathroom. Unfortunately, I once spent the better part of a year in the bathroom at Per Se chipping away at the wall to tunnel my way out to quench an incredible craving for a Gray's Papaya hot dog. This is not recommended.
Is it customary at an Italian restaurant to order from both the primi and secondi sections of the menu?
Absolutely fucking not.
However, when it comes to the wine list, one should always order at least two to three drinks from each of the following sections: aperitivo, vino (rosso and bianco), birra, and digestivo. Hic.
Want to know how FloFab answered the questions? Differently. Ruth Bourdain is a fictional mash-up of Ruth Reichl and Anthony Bourdain. Got an etiquette dilemma for RuBo? Email ruth.bourdain@chow.com.
@achilles007, you're clearly unfamiliar with RuBo's genetic code. The Bourdain in her (It?) calls for at least one curse in every response.
Whatever you say, Sweetie.
why is there so much cursing in this article?
completely unnecessary, imo.
shit, this article is so cool cause it sez fuck.
very classy
Who says the world needs love.....the topic is laughable at best. So many more shall I say it "important" things to worry about than someone in the service industry calling you sweetie. Here in the state I live we aren't as ass tight say as some northerners. Albeit said maybe that person didn't take classes at Miss Penelope's Finishing School and doesn't know that it is inappropriate. Again if...+READ
Who says the world needs love.....the topic is laughable at best. So many more shall I say it "important" things to worry about than someone in the service industry calling you sweetie. Here in the state I live we aren't as ass tight say as some northerners. Albeit said maybe that person didn't take classes at Miss Penelope's Finishing School and doesn't know that it is inappropriate. Again if this is the crap part of your day and I doubt that it is cause you complain about lots.-COLLAPSE
I'm not crazy about it either, but fucking with the people who fix your food? Seriously? Not.
I think southerners should be like northerners, who default to rude and abrasive remarks before being considerate or polite. Like substituting "hey ya'll, how are you today?" with "what the fuck do you want?" and "can i freshen your coffee sweetie?" with "you want ANOTHER refill?" We can not stand for these servers being polite and referring to their customers as "A person who is always very...+READ
I think southerners should be like northerners, who default to rude and abrasive remarks before being considerate or polite. Like substituting "hey ya'll, how are you today?" with "what the fuck do you want?" and "can i freshen your coffee sweetie?" with "you want ANOTHER refill?" We can not stand for these servers being polite and referring to their customers as "A person who is always very kind" or "A person who is much loved". Clearly they are really just trying to insult us, so we should be as rude and biting back to them as possible, regardless of their intention or cultural upbringing.-COLLAPSE
What the fuck is wrong with calling someone sweetie? IT'S A FUCKING COMPLIMENT. They're not calling you "asshat" or "turd burglar" or "fat shitty-attitude-having stuck up bitch", they're saying you're sweet. That means nice. That means THEY'RE TRYING TO BE NICE TO YOU. Jesus fucking christ.
I hate that sweetie/honey crap.
I was at lunch with my father and the waitress (my age) kept calling me sweetie. My father knows how much it bothers me and could see me biting my lip, so the 3rd time she said it, he said "Oh, no. You see, I'm the only the who gets to call her sweetie since she's my daughter." The waitress just stood there dumbfounded. It was great. I have an awesome father!
Good post Sweetie!
Pauseplace,
If you've lived around the country as you've claimed, you should have realized by now that the locals were actually trying to welcome you,"a stranger in a strange land". It's your right to be addressed as you please but your condescending disdain for rural Southerners by stereotyping us indicates your obvious discomfort with your current surroundings. Have you considered the rudeness...+READ
Pauseplace,
If you've lived around the country as you've claimed, you should have realized by now that the locals were actually trying to welcome you,"a stranger in a strange land". It's your right to be addressed as you please but your condescending disdain for rural Southerners by stereotyping us indicates your obvious discomfort with your current surroundings. Have you considered the rudeness inherent within your own response?-COLLAPSE
Asa tried and true "Yankee" who has lived all over the States in the last 20 years, I have found that the idiots in the small Southern toens are rude and stupid. "Ya'll aint from round here?" and "what church Ya'll go too" is none of their business. I am Roman Catholic, being a person born in a city that the religion is predominately that. Calling me sweetie, or honey pisses me off to no end. My...+READ
Asa tried and true "Yankee" who has lived all over the States in the last 20 years, I have found that the idiots in the small Southern toens are rude and stupid. "Ya'll aint from round here?" and "what church Ya'll go too" is none of their business. I am Roman Catholic, being a person born in a city that the religion is predominately that. Calling me sweetie, or honey pisses me off to no end. My money spends just like theirs and I expect respect whenI decide to pay for your services. I tip way beyond well and am a true eater, meaning I usually order more than I can consume. In one town in particular we where ignored because we where stupid enough to answer the religion question. I owned a business for 30 years, and NEVER called anyone sweetie, or honey...let alone aproached the subject of religion with a customer. They paid my bills and deserved my utmost respect for chosing me to provide their services. And to the person who hates "Yankees" heres a wake up call, People are mobile, and move all over for work, if you want to continue to prosper then get a clue, try to travel more than 10 miles out of town, and see the world.-COLLAPSE
This lame "Top Story" has become tiresome.
So sad!
I'm done with people telling me words I can and can't say. If I want to call somebody sweetie, I will call them sweetie. They should be glad I'm saying sweetie instead of you Yankee fuck, because people up North don't seem to know how to be polite. In the South it seems to be more of an endearing reference, as opposed to a stab at a lack of confidence in your womanhood. Mess with me and I'll call...+READ
I'm done with people telling me words I can and can't say. If I want to call somebody sweetie, I will call them sweetie. They should be glad I'm saying sweetie instead of you Yankee fuck, because people up North don't seem to know how to be polite. In the South it seems to be more of an endearing reference, as opposed to a stab at a lack of confidence in your womanhood. Mess with me and I'll call you Baby-girl in a heartbeat!!!-COLLAPSE
Thankss Rubo.
My family is taking English classes. The professor is covering the use of vulgarity in the US (we are currently in Guatemala).
I was able to use this column to illustrate why even though these terms are common use in the US ... why anyone learning the language should not get into a habit of using them, unless they are brilliantly clever like a Lenny Bruce, George Carlin, etc.
...+READ
Thankss Rubo.
My family is taking English classes. The professor is covering the use of vulgarity in the US (we are currently in Guatemala).
I was able to use this column to illustrate why even though these terms are common use in the US ... why anyone learning the language should not get into a habit of using them, unless they are brilliantly clever like a Lenny Bruce, George Carlin, etc.
As I told them, no one will ever think less of you in the US for not using vulgarity ... unless you are a 13 year old boy ... however, the use can backfire and people will may think less of you.-COLLAPSE
Terms of use. Bad manners. Lack of civility.
How can anyone discourage this extreme narcissism?
Profanity, no matter who produces it, has no place here.
@ClarkPeacock Before you go insulting your fellow hounds you should know the terms of use you're quoting are for CHOWHOUND - the message board. RuBo is on the CHOW.com; and is not moderated by the chowhound moderators.
What happened to your terms of use?
"Content that may be deemed grossly offensive to the Site community, including, but not limited to, blatant expressions of bigotry, prejudice, racism, hatred or profanity."
The moderators are a bunch of hypocrites. It's a fucking shame.
Really!?! You complain about a waitress being polite, which is probably part of her culture, I grew up in the south and it s part of mine...yet you title your comment with the "F" word...your pathetic! This country lacks in respect and manners and you just proved that point with no argument needed. Find a worthy cause and put your obvious energy in that...get over yourself! I'd rather have a...+READ
Really!?! You complain about a waitress being polite, which is probably part of her culture, I grew up in the south and it s part of mine...yet you title your comment with the "F" word...your pathetic! This country lacks in respect and manners and you just proved that point with no argument needed. Find a worthy cause and put your obvious energy in that...get over yourself! I'd rather have a overly polite server then one who never smiles, never looks me in the eye, gets my order wrong, AND expects a tip!...which I always leave regardless...-COLLAPSE
Exactly! Chowhound frequently censors and deletes posts by users for no particular reason, but eveidentially encourages Bourdain's crass rhetoric. Don't get me wrong, I fucking love Bourdain, I just think this shit, in this context, on this shitty site is hypocritical. Chowhound, you are the ultimate in hollow, insincere, sanctimonious, self-righteous, entertainment.
This is my first time on this site. I didn't expect to be blasted with vulgarities in the headlines of articles just for trying to learn a bit about pressure cooking. I think I'll be moving on. I can't imagine the class, (and I use the word deliberately) of leadership that manages what I thought was a website that promoted the simple benign pleasures of cooking. Unbelievable. I believe my...+READ
This is my first time on this site. I didn't expect to be blasted with vulgarities in the headlines of articles just for trying to learn a bit about pressure cooking. I think I'll be moving on. I can't imagine the class, (and I use the word deliberately) of leadership that manages what I thought was a website that promoted the simple benign pleasures of cooking. Unbelievable. I believe my appraisal would be termed in the vernacular as 'ghetto'.-COLLAPSE
RE: the brunch posting... Realizing that details have never been Bourdain's thing, his desire to be a smug jackass seems to have won out over basic reading comprehension. The person sending in the question did not say that they had intended to order eggs benedict from the diner. Rather, that once they got to the diner (and were seated), they realized that they were in the mood for eggs benedict...+READ
RE: the brunch posting... Realizing that details have never been Bourdain's thing, his desire to be a smug jackass seems to have won out over basic reading comprehension. The person sending in the question did not say that they had intended to order eggs benedict from the diner. Rather, that once they got to the diner (and were seated), they realized that they were in the mood for eggs benedict at another establishment. It is not stated as to whether or not the other place is a diner or not.
What is even more unfortunate is the fact that Bourdain never does answer the person's question (even though he dedicates three paragraphs to the topic). Do he REALLY consider himself such a witty writer that he thinks CHOW users would rather read his not-at-all-amusing ramblings than actual, practical advice? What a waste of time and energy (not to mention money, assuming that his gig is a paid one). Maybe the user's question can be posted to the message baords, where it might be answered with a little more humility and a little less sarcasm.-COLLAPSE
What's really fucking hilarious is that adults are offended by "salty language." There's the humor.
Lighten up, Francis, and have a beer.
it is a sad state when an article with this limited vocabulary gets printed here.
maybe next time between the two minds, a reasonable article could get printed, perhaps about the topic, concerning this site.
Thank God the author isn't the Captain of a Navy ship; they end up eating some foul food underway. . However, it would certainly explain the salty vocabulary of Anthony Bourdain if his mother was a Skipper.
If I can be allowed to sort-of plagiarize All priggishness regarding syntax aside, if this is satire, it's extremely weak satire. I didn't find the piece funny or clever. Not even one side of my mouth curved upward. So in my opinion, the use of the f-word is an act of self-indulgence and mental laziness. It's the most obvious way to mimic the target.
By elspeth mcdoodle
Ditto!
If the writer was the Captain of a Navy ship he would lose his command over this article.
What a waste of time. Keep it clean Chowhound.
Lighten up, people!
I love it! Prudes go elsewhere.
This is totally inappropriate for Chowhound.
This article is totally unworthy of this site. Until now I have not noticed that this web site lacks a "report offensive comment" button. It looks like Chow/Chowhounds needs to get with the times. I cannot see how any of your advertisers would want be associated with such vulgar teenage rantings.
I agree with Food Fuser that this is stupid, and unnecessarily and uncreatively vulgar. Anthony and Ruth are both great, and this "mashup" turns into a least-common denominator product.
Aren't there worse things to be concerned about than someone calling you "sweetie?"
The fact is, you deserve to be called "asshole," or perhaps a "banal pile of pond scum."
In my four years or more of posting on Chowhound
I've never had need to use the word "f*cking".
Let's hope that the managers will get hold of this
and return us to proper decorum.
There's no place for such words in this forum.
Great column! As usual.
Tiresome, unimaginative...an instance where repeated profanity smells vulgar instead of entertaining. And does someone need a 12-step meeting?
This is just plain dumb, too much use of "fucking" (could you be a little more trite?) and not even half way decent answers.
The server probably shared a mutual affection for you, hence the saccharine nickname.
Not funny or interesting. But a lot of comments, so I guess I'm in the minority...
Dear Edgy New Media Producers:
Thanks to your edgy use of "fucking" in your headline, my work filter blocks the entire website now. Very edgy of you.
I don't even think I want someone to serve me a pie anymore without calling me sweetie, baby cakes, fine thing, or even shnookums.
I find your fucking use of profanity to be fucking rediculous and your shit for brains attitude toward a hard working etc.....
Hey Ruth get over it SWEETIE
When I was growing up my mother struggled to make ends meet. She worked at several dozen 'greasy spoon' roadside diners when I was a kid. She was the best damn waitress in California. Terms like "Honey" "Baby" "Sweetie" are part of that culture. When I hear these words I know that it is spoken with kindness and love usually by some salt of the earth sassy old broad that has been to more than one...+READ
When I was growing up my mother struggled to make ends meet. She worked at several dozen 'greasy spoon' roadside diners when I was a kid. She was the best damn waitress in California. Terms like "Honey" "Baby" "Sweetie" are part of that culture. When I hear these words I know that it is spoken with kindness and love usually by some salt of the earth sassy old broad that has been to more than one rodeo. My advice to you is this “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PULL THE FUCKING STICK OUT OF YOUR ASS AND GET A LIFE! PAHLEEEEEEEEEEASE!!!” Clearly being called "Sweetie" is the LEAST of your problems lady.-COLLAPSE
What's with this boring silly crap?
Hmmm. Rubo writes: "I have to tell you that you completely lost me at ordering eggs Benedict in a diner. What the fuck? Who does that? Stick to the basics: pancakes, French toast, scrambled eggs, bacon, etc. Color me perplexed." I'm thinking, 'Colour you inattentive', not perplexed. The correspondent didn't say they'd gone to a diner to order eggs Benedict, they said they wanted to leave one of...+READ
Hmmm. Rubo writes: "I have to tell you that you completely lost me at ordering eggs Benedict in a diner. What the fuck? Who does that? Stick to the basics: pancakes, French toast, scrambled eggs, bacon, etc. Color me perplexed." I'm thinking, 'Colour you inattentive', not perplexed. The correspondent didn't say they'd gone to a diner to order eggs Benedict, they said they wanted to leave one of their favourite diners after being seated, but before ordering, to go to a different restaurant for Florentine eggs Benedict. Perhaps Rubo had an F in their eye, and thus didn't clearly read what was posted. Vulgarity is the sign of a weak vocabulary, Rubo. Oh, as to the reply regarding 'primi' and 'secondi' menu sections: the common (very common ...) expression is 'Absalfuckinglutely not!' "Absolutely fucking not" is a poor excuse for profanity. And this 'piece' is a poor excuse for humour, too. To the inquiry regarding a polite way to tell a server that calling members of the table over the age of perhaps 8 or 10, 'sweetie' is at best unwise, and at worst offensive, one effective way to let the server know that it was offensive is to offer the server an alternative: "(Use server's name, here), you may call me .... (fill in your preference)". If the server uses 'Sweetie' again, the server evidently does not consider their job very important to them. Your next and most effective move should be reflecting your displeasure with the 'sweetie' routine in the amount of gratuity you leav, perhaps with a parting 'Here, this is for you, 'Sweetie' ....' as you leave. But in the long run, if this is the worst thing that the server has done, it's really not worth getting bent out of shape over such a minor infraction. We should all be so lucky that being called 'sweetie' is the worst and most annoying thing that happens to us.-COLLAPSE
All priggishness regarding syntax aside, if this is satire, it's extremely weak satire. I didn't find the piece funny or clever. Not even one side of my mouth curved upward. So in my opinion, the use of the f-word is an act of self-indulgence and mental laziness. It's the most obvious way to mimic the target.
@HillJ,
You are of course entitled to your opinion.
I write, have written snarky pieces and this one is just that snarky. Good ,b ad or indifferent is subjective. I found it amusing simply because I myself have longed to say similar things to people.
I have not been part of the Chowhound community for very long, but as with any community I have been a part of there is always someone who uses...+READ
@HillJ,
You are of course entitled to your opinion.
I write, have written snarky pieces and this one is just that snarky. Good ,b ad or indifferent is subjective. I found it amusing simply because I myself have longed to say similar things to people.
I have not been part of the Chowhound community for very long, but as with any community I have been a part of there is always someone who uses salty language, its a part of life. Even the upper crust uses the f*bomb with common regularity.
I for one enjoy snark pieces and that general genre of writing and will continue to read Rubo. Every good blogger writes to illicit a response, no different than good marketing is done to illicit a response. I think the writer of this piece has succeeded.-COLLAPSE
Off-color language doesn't offend me. I love AB and his show. But this just wasn't funny and seemed to be trying too hard to be.
That said, the graphic of Ruth Bourdain is HILARIOUS and well done.
Get a life! If you are that concerned, stay at home! They could have used something worse...unfortunately I cannot suggest the term because Chow Hound would have to censure my comment. Really--go out and do some charity work to atone for your bad attitude!!! What a b...h.
The profanity might be tolerable if any trace of wit could be found in this piece. Unfortunately, I can find none.
Don't call you sweetie? OK Ruth, how about nasty, foul-mouthed whitch. I don't know why the moderators allowed your comments to be published on theis web site but they are the worst I have ever read. There are decent family members and even children who search this site. Some of us are aspiring cooks who are temporarily working their way up the ladder starting as servers. If I meet someone like...+READ
Don't call you sweetie? OK Ruth, how about nasty, foul-mouthed whitch. I don't know why the moderators allowed your comments to be published on theis web site but they are the worst I have ever read. There are decent family members and even children who search this site. Some of us are aspiring cooks who are temporarily working their way up the ladder starting as servers. If I meet someone like you while I serve, and you use that mouth to insult me while I am trying my best to please customers, I'll give you the surprise of your life which will probably get me fired but it will be worth it.
Who wants to be the next person to serve her folks????-COLLAPSE
@chefkadie 2nd pt. then I'm moving on.
How many of the comments here are about the article? How many are about the tone of the article? If the idea of RuBo is to shock, then "they" have found success.
@chefkadie, sure I have. The actual AB on balance is an interesting guy to watch & learn from. But I stand by my opinion about the introduction of a fictional character writing about manners on a website that moderates the community for all sorts of comments but has a sister cosite that is willing to open the fine line with staff writers. Granted it's "their" playground but the CH community...+READ
@chefkadie, sure I have. The actual AB on balance is an interesting guy to watch & learn from. But I stand by my opinion about the introduction of a fictional character writing about manners on a website that moderates the community for all sorts of comments but has a sister cosite that is willing to open the fine line with staff writers. Granted it's "their" playground but the CH community contributes a good deal to the content and I'm surprised that such duality is being elected. Just my 2 cents.-COLLAPSE
I don't know about story comments but on the chowhound boards foul language is tolerated so long as it isn't directed at another hound.
Big difference between say: "I am such a slut" VS "You are a slut"
Agreed, chefkadie...I made that point early on in the comments.
Anyone who's been following @RuthBourdain since the beginning knows that his/her persona a comic one, based on the question, What would Reichl be like if she had Bourdain's foul mouth?
Again, since CHOW does not generally have a similarly snarky editorial voice (though lately they sure have been trying), it does annoy me that the...+READ
Agreed, chefkadie...I made that point early on in the comments.
Anyone who's been following @RuthBourdain since the beginning knows that his/her persona a comic one, based on the question, What would Reichl be like if she had Bourdain's foul mouth?
Again, since CHOW does not generally have a similarly snarky editorial voice (though lately they sure have been trying), it does annoy me that the rules about foul language seem to be arbitrarily applied—staff writers can use it, commenters for the most part can't.
But for RuBo, it makes sense to make an exception. Once you know what he/she's about, you know you can skip it if you don't like it.-COLLAPSE
@Hillj, understood, however, one of the "inspirations" for the alter-ego RuBo was Anthony Bourdain...have you ever heard his language? My point was that if ones alter-ego is a combination of two people then one takes on the attributes of said people and Anthony Bourdain cannot be described as "nice or genteel" by any known definition. Therefore, RuBo's use of the "F" bomb is not only logical,...+READ
@Hillj, understood, however, one of the "inspirations" for the alter-ego RuBo was Anthony Bourdain...have you ever heard his language? My point was that if ones alter-ego is a combination of two people then one takes on the attributes of said people and Anthony Bourdain cannot be described as "nice or genteel" by any known definition. Therefore, RuBo's use of the "F" bomb is not only logical, it's almost a requisite.-COLLAPSE
Ummm - I agree with Elspeth. I often have Chowhound up on my screen, and then sometime my Daughter gets on the computer.
It is obvious that Chow Hound is seeking to add a touch of elegance to their site.
I kind of have to agree with vorpal. Throwing the f-bomb around feels both juvenile, passé, and lacking in creativity. Also, while it's of course every parent's responsibility to monitor their children's internet use, it kind of stinks that my 9-year-old budding chef and chowhound.com lover had to see this and look wide-eyed. It's not that she hasn't heard it all before on the playground or even...+READ
I kind of have to agree with vorpal. Throwing the f-bomb around feels both juvenile, passé, and lacking in creativity. Also, while it's of course every parent's responsibility to monitor their children's internet use, it kind of stinks that my 9-year-old budding chef and chowhound.com lover had to see this and look wide-eyed. It's not that she hasn't heard it all before on the playground or even on the day I dropped a roast beef pulling it out of the oven, but this is an open forum. It kind of looks like CH is sanctioning this kind of language. Wouldn't it stink if the normally civil boards started degenerating too? Poor judgement, chowhound.-COLLAPSE
The only one that's rude because a waiter/waitress affectionately called you sweetie is you! Many people are not as fortunate as you are obviously. By your own comments it is plain as day you cannot construct a simple sentence without the bastardization of the English language. I am not offended by such filth but to insult anyone without just cause is simply pathetic.
With the inclusion of this column, Chow has sunk to an all-time low.
chefkadie, this isn't a column discussing the life of a professional chef. This is suppose to be a column about manners and etiq!
anyone who has worked in a professional kitchen knows that the "F" bomb is used quite liberally for anything from a adjective to a verb...it is a Chef's way of saying crap. Professional kitchens are a pressure cooker, using the "F" bomb is a way to express that, and then it becomes habit...walk away for some time, go back into the profession and its like riding a bike.
I second Boston_Otter's motion. Come on, Chowhound, keep it classy and clean. I'm getting REALLY tired of seeing that "Rubo" F-bomb EVERY TIME I come to the site.
Here's an idea: how about keeping the f-bombs off the front page of CHOW?
Glad to read this is supposed to be a parody.. because if you really wanted to pose an etiquette question this certainly isn't the place to expect a real answer that would get you invited back anywhere.
Sweetie is used quite commonly in the south and doesn't bother me unless it's used with a snarky tone.. then I take exception and speak up. True manners like opening doors for one another,...+READ
Glad to read this is supposed to be a parody.. because if you really wanted to pose an etiquette question this certainly isn't the place to expect a real answer that would get you invited back anywhere.
Sweetie is used quite commonly in the south and doesn't bother me unless it's used with a snarky tone.. then I take exception and speak up. True manners like opening doors for one another, holding chairs.. Not just a man for a woman but anyone for someone with their hands full, common manners are not so common anymore and this is a sad state and even in jest, being told to curse someone for being polite.. really? Ah well.. to each their own humor. Glad they don't live by me.-COLLAPSE
@Joan: You're right; I missed the "fictional" reference in the explanation under the column. Doesn't make it any funnier, though. What a waste of space.
Silly Joan. It is neither nor, not neither or.
Silly posters. Neither Ms. Reichl or Mr. Bourdain are associated with "Ruth Bourdain" which is a parody of both.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well aware of the "parody" of RuBo. Does that make the column any more appealing? Nah.
Silly posters. Neither Ms. Reichl or Mr. Bourdain are associated with "Ruth Bourdain" which is a parody of both.
If a man is rightly judged by the company he keeps, I would not like Anthony Bourdain.
I'd match her wit against an amoeba's any time.
Lame. Bourdain's act was entertaining when it was fresh but now it appears he is only entertaining himself. I'm disappointed Reichl, a real writer, would want to be associated with such a flimsy piece of prose.
That was really stupid. Not funny and no content--waste of 5 minutes.
This was entertaining?
RuBo, really. I would have paid to over hear the job interview for this gig.
Sweetie? With that kind of a face? Please. Whoever said that must have been quite delusional.
I don't agree with Ruth Bourdain, but I'll give her credit for trying to entertain us. Bless her heart.
I'm a Southerner. I don't mind it at all when a waitress in a local diner calls me hun, or sweetie, etc. It's a old school term of friendliness. I wouldn't expect to hear it from a "server" at an upscale restaurant. It does, however, fit just find in a Ma and Pa café while eating grits and grillades.
Of course, given that you're foul mouthed New Yorker, I can't see anyone calling you Sweetie...+READ
I'm a Southerner. I don't mind it at all when a waitress in a local diner calls me hun, or sweetie, etc. It's a old school term of friendliness. I wouldn't expect to hear it from a "server" at an upscale restaurant. It does, however, fit just find in a Ma and Pa café while eating grits and grillades.
Of course, given that you're foul mouthed New Yorker, I can't see anyone calling you Sweetie unless they're talking to you through an open car window.-COLLAPSE
Pathetic use of the F-word. Do you lack vocabulary? Or, perhaps think we have never heard the word? I think rather it is an attempt to sound more everyday or avant garde, or that you are unafraid to break the rules.
The second example was really more pathetic; you’re writing a column; you can make the circumstance what you want them to be. So just say, we had or had not order. As opposed to...+READ
Pathetic use of the F-word. Do you lack vocabulary? Or, perhaps think we have never heard the word? I think rather it is an attempt to sound more everyday or avant garde, or that you are unafraid to break the rules.
The second example was really more pathetic; you’re writing a column; you can make the circumstance what you want them to be. So just say, we had or had not order. As opposed to pretending you don’t know.-COLLAPSE
A superlative start to something that could prove interesting. Honey, Sweetie, Dear, Darling -- all probably better than You Bastard but nonetheless grating as hell so yes,, just stop it! Down so long it looks like up to me!
Several days after the fact, am finally getting around to commenting on this, because I've been, well, cooking. I'm a southern chef living north of Atlanta in the mountains, where everyone is friendly and personable. I might point out the reason we Southerners, of all ages and socio-economic values, call each other sweetie, hun, and darlin', is because the people at the table we've never seen...+READ
Several days after the fact, am finally getting around to commenting on this, because I've been, well, cooking. I'm a southern chef living north of Atlanta in the mountains, where everyone is friendly and personable. I might point out the reason we Southerners, of all ages and socio-economic values, call each other sweetie, hun, and darlin', is because the people at the table we've never seen before in our lives, are most likely our cousins-by-marriage-twice-removed.... because in the South, we're all, well, uh....related. Cheers, sweetie!-COLLAPSE
I will say as a southerner this is why we think northerners are rude assholes! In the south almost every server calls you sweetie or hun and hike every guest calls you it right back. I guess I am more offend as host since I get called sweetie, darlin, suga and hun all day. Doesn't bather me and doesn't bother any of the servers I know. I mean really I can't believe yall even posted this.
Color me a fan..
We have this same problem in the South, but the word is "darhlin" not sweetie
Clearly you have never worked in a restaurant or seen the movie "Waiting". I would never yell at my waitress/waiter till all the food and drink was on the table. LOL
Love love love the column. But I cannot stand the term "F-bomb." As my grandmother used to say, if they can't take a joke, fuck 'em.
I'm in my 30s and find being called "sweetie" or the like kind of endearing (especially from a woman)--though I'm a Yankee transplant in what is technically the South, so I just interpret it as a regional behavior. Though if it were bugging me, I'd just use pet...+READ
Love love love the column. But I cannot stand the term "F-bomb." As my grandmother used to say, if they can't take a joke, fuck 'em.
I'm in my 30s and find being called "sweetie" or the like kind of endearing (especially from a woman)--though I'm a Yankee transplant in what is technically the South, so I just interpret it as a regional behavior. Though if it were bugging me, I'd just use pet names right back at the server/whomever until they quit, or until I felt satisfied with my smug passive-aggressive rebellion.-COLLAPSE
But 'funbags' is still okay, right?
You can always tell a person with power issues by how well they treat a server.
Here in my French-speaking universe it is 20-year-olds calling me "Madame". I just "Madame" or "Monsieur" them back, even if they are still pimple-faced.
You guys for women is substandard English; I imagine copious gum-chewing.
Sorry, I am over 40 and having a cutesy 20 something calling me " DEAR" just about made me and my date scream! So I " DEARED" her back- along with any other name that popped out of my sugar smacking mouth. Sweetie, darling, and the favourite " HUN" - as in Attila!
Let's be nice and just not cal us MAM either...why does one have to say anything?
fucking funny
Sweetie is a lot better than "you guys".
What type of crap will Chowhound put out next?
I am a very polite person,and I would NEVER respond this way. But I gotta confess, I am just sitting here in my very public coffee shop just laughing my head off right now. How many times have I wanted to say those very words, but just couldn't bring myself to even admit it!
I think the last time waslast year in the bank trying to assist my 90 year old German stepmother to exchange some euros,...+READ
I am a very polite person,and I would NEVER respond this way. But I gotta confess, I am just sitting here in my very public coffee shop just laughing my head off right now. How many times have I wanted to say those very words, but just couldn't bring myself to even admit it!
I think the last time waslast year in the bank trying to assist my 90 year old German stepmother to exchange some euros, and having the MUCH younger teller, call her "sweetie" five or six times during the process. I was in a hurry or I would have gone straight to the manager otherwise. Treating older people like adorable little morons is REALLY disgusting, ESPECIALLY when it comes from customer service people who are trying to maintain your business! Come to think about it, someone who is 90 probably COULD get away with repeating RuBo's words to a rude bank teller verbatum -- although the teller would probably have disappeared in a puff of smoke if she had. And I would have exploded trying not to laugh. I just shouldn't, you know.... Too funny.-COLLAPSE
oh my god, the photo of Rubo almost made me lose my lunch. Ruth may actually come to look like following post-menopausal failed hormone therapy.
Love the RuBo. If you are terribly offended by swear words, take the headline as a hint to avoid this column.
The picture of RuBo is terrifying...
I only mind cursing when it seems forced; the sudden proliferation in the bulk of Chow articles strikes me as simultaneously corny and crass in its aim to appeal to the Youth of Today (and probably erroneous; I imagine they're pretty aware of being pandered to in that fashion).
But swear words have been part of RuBo's lexicon since the beginning, because they're part of Bourdain's. That's kinda...+READ
I only mind cursing when it seems forced; the sudden proliferation in the bulk of Chow articles strikes me as simultaneously corny and crass in its aim to appeal to the Youth of Today (and probably erroneous; I imagine they're pretty aware of being pandered to in that fashion).
But swear words have been part of RuBo's lexicon since the beginning, because they're part of Bourdain's. That's kinda the point. I'm on the team for sure...-COLLAPSE
absolutely f****ing hilarious...Have u been following me around ?
someone asked what RuBo smokes. if i recall the favored smoke of RuBo is tangerine zest
Love RuBo's tweets...love that he/she/it now has a column!
I've been to restaurants where teenaged waitresses persisted in referring to everyone at the table as "darling." While I didn't necessarily want to rip her lungs out, I sure as hell felt it was presumptuous and wanted her to knock it off.
haven't finished yet, but a definite strong start. I may not be laughing, but that is definitely a v v wide grin on my face!! BTW, I've called my wife sweetie for so long, it's more than a nickname, but to do it to strangers would would just be beyond!!!
Not impressed nor amused. Neither am I entertained. Won't waste my time next time she's offering her opinions. Thanks anyway.
I find the column and whoever is Ruth Bourdain on Twitter to be hilarious and definitely a nice aberration and satire of some of the more pretentious food writers. It is a different voice that seems to be reaching a lot of people interested in food, especially right now as the food world is gaining a whole new type of following.
Also, nobody is forced to read it: its not thrown in anyone's face....+READ
I find the column and whoever is Ruth Bourdain on Twitter to be hilarious and definitely a nice aberration and satire of some of the more pretentious food writers. It is a different voice that seems to be reaching a lot of people interested in food, especially right now as the food world is gaining a whole new type of following.
Also, nobody is forced to read it: its not thrown in anyone's face. If you have a problem with what you are reading, you specifically checked out the column or follow RuBo on Twitter...That problem has an easy remedy: Don't read the column or RuBo's twitter account.-COLLAPSE
How childish...they should know better...nothing cute about this team.
I agree, you can still be funny, biting, sarcastic, witty without the F bombs. As a matter of fact, think about it takes more work without the F bombs. Comedians the same, newscolumnists the same-SHOCK VALUE! Works once and then wears out. I love you Tony, am i wrong in figuring you have the talent to write, be caustic and funny without the Fbombs? What the Fuck?
They weren't going to order the florentine at the diner, but at "another restaurant".
Profanity doesn't bother me too much, but it looks silly on the front page and doesn't really reflect the rest of the site too well, especially the chowhound community who post here.
Bitchin Kitchen meet RuBo.
The fun, the message gets lost in all your hand gestures and fuck you's
What does RuBo smoke? Or is it too personal, toots....
Perhaps you would have preferred, Hey You?
The second question reminds me of an experience I had in Ocean City, MD. We were passing through, looking for a place to eat on the way home to DC. We didn't feel like a chain, so we ended up stopping at one of the few non-chain places we could find, which served Tex-Mex style food. We were seated and brought a bowl of complimentary tortillas and "salsa" (which turned out to be ketchup with some...+READ
The second question reminds me of an experience I had in Ocean City, MD. We were passing through, looking for a place to eat on the way home to DC. We didn't feel like a chain, so we ended up stopping at one of the few non-chain places we could find, which served Tex-Mex style food. We were seated and brought a bowl of complimentary tortillas and "salsa" (which turned out to be ketchup with some onions mixed in with it) and handed menus. We ate a couple of chips and realized with horror what we had been served (it took one chip to realize what it was, and two to dispel our disbelief that we weren't dreaming). Glancing at the menu, the cheapest item listed was about $25, which was well more than we wanted to pay at a Tex-Mex restaurant whose idea of salsa is ketchup with onions. We got up and tried to leave discreetly, but the waiter and a manager followed us out to our car, looking deeply concerned. As we were getting in, they yelled something at us about having to pay for the appetizer we consumed. We just drove off without looking back and nothing happened.-COLLAPSE
We are coming from so many cultures , and we all have different standard of politeness, or social acceptance barriers,and so on...
The pseudo sweetie , ( faking a home like "atmosphere" , is one thing , the YOU GUYS is an other .
I would like to take my dinner fork and stab the waiter in her or his eyes, for that ..guys my Ass!
For example calling some one "darling" is perfectly ok in Europe, and...+READ
We are coming from so many cultures , and we all have different standard of politeness, or social acceptance barriers,and so on...
The pseudo sweetie , ( faking a home like "atmosphere" , is one thing , the YOU GUYS is an other .
I would like to take my dinner fork and stab the waiter in her or his eyes, for that ..guys my Ass!
For example calling some one "darling" is perfectly ok in Europe, and ,pinch some one ass as a compliment was just fine not a long ago in Europe , before this all American pc bullshit taken hold, like virus... Lighten up people , eat ,drink ,have a great time , and stop being s f tight and solo f correct, ( full with angst and compensation)-COLLAPSE
I get called "sweetie" all the time and I'm 48 ... I think it's kind of nice ...
Great morning read. Can't wait to see what questions (s)he gets when people know who's doing the answering.
He he! A fun light read. Thanks!
What a fine contribution to our conversation. Kudos. Your mom would be so proud.
I suggest reading up on Ruth Bourdain (namely her twitter) before casting her out as a pariah. In a world of much-too-serious foodies, it's nice to get a different - albeit wry and acerbic - perspective.
Yeah, leave the f-bombs for extreme circumstances. There were no extreme circumstances here, and no good advice, either. I curse like a sailor that used to be a longshoreman, so I have no problem with cursing, but it should be used creatively, not for nearly every adverb and adjective.
Wow. Ruth Bourdain has way to much time on her/his/its hands. (Wondering what it says about me that I just read the whole entry.) Ah well, it is some of the best advice I've heard all day, sweetie!
"Ruth Bourdain takes those questions and gives her own fucking answers...What the fuck?...Absolutely fucking not.". Surely Pulitzer material. Nice to see Chow catering to the 13-17 year old male demographic.
I love this!! Ruth Bourdain kicks major ass; welcome to chow!