Dietary Shocker: Funnel Cakes May Be Bad for You (!!)

This just in: Junk food is bad for you. A massive new study of patients in over 52 countries concludes that “[d]iets heavy in fried foods, salty snacks and meat account for about 35 percent of heart attacks globally.”

Also: “People who ate more fruits and vegetables had a 30 percent lower risk of heart attack compared to people who ate little or none of these foods.” And: “People eating a Western diet had a 35 percent greater risk of heart attack compared to people who consumed little or no fried foods and meat.”

This has been another edition of No Shit, Sherlock.