This Beer Brings Shame Upon Us

Published on Friday, September 24, 2010, by James Norton / Edit Post

Michelob Ultra Dragon Fruit Peach Beer

Michelob Ultra Dragon Fruit Peach Beer

I Paid: $5.99 for six 12-ounce bottles (prices may vary by region)

Taste: 2 stars

Marketing: 1 stars

Michelob Ultra Dragon Fruit Peach Beer "serves up a mythical blend of rich malts and select hops," according to its website. Michelob Ultra Dragon Fruit Peach Beer is "the absolute most shame-inducing concept for a beer this side of Bubblegum-Flavored Beachtime Barbie Brew, which, upon further consideration, is actually a better idea than the Michelob concept," according to this reviewer. The women of America can't possibly fall for this. And Lord knows the men damn sure won't.

Since Dragon Fruit Peach is part of the Michelob Ultra series—beers that are touted as representing "superior light beer" but are still chained by macrobrew limitations in terms of cost and manufacturing practices—expectations for taste were pretty moderate at best. Even so this stuff managed to disappoint. It smelled like apricot gummy bears, and tasted peachy and floral with a bit of malt, then water, then a hollow hard-water finish. This is not a beer to share with your local cicerone unless you're looking to provoke an extended sarcastic reaction.

Thus: While not as bad as some of the other female-targeted booze I've been compelled to swill in recent months, this should be nobody's go-to beer. If you've got to drink a Coors Light or a hipster-certified PBR as an easy alternative, do so. Keep your dignity intact. This applies equally to either gender.

James Norton edits the Upper Midwestern food journal Heavy Table. He's also the coauthor of a book on Wisconsin's master cheesemakers. For his Supertaster Daily videos, he samples offerings from supermarket aisles and fast-food menus. (Click here to see all of James's previous Supertaster work.) You can follow him on Twitter and fan him on Facebook.

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POST A COMMENT |18 Comments

COMMENT

  • This is conclusive proof that the marketing/advertising wonks at Michelob have taken control from and have displaced brewmasters of another century.
    'Nuff said

  • Another tasteless brew is Miller lite 61, or some such name. I always feel safe (and satisfied) when I order an Amstel Lite.

  • This stuff is NOT beer. I find it amazing that labeling laws allow this, regardless of how close to beer the product is made, and that beer producers are still marketing crap like this obviously geared for underage drinking. Not to worry, folks, this stuff will go away pretty quick.

  • Soooooo sick of companies trying to seduce us & our children!

  • In case you hadn’t figured it out, it’s not supposed to taste like beer. It’s supposed to taste like soda pop. The whole thing is aimed at kids. Wake up! Kids don’t usually like beer. Why do you think we have all of those light beers? It’s got very little to do with calories.

    One of the favorite beers amongst the HS and college crowd is “Natty-Lite.” That’s not what I’d call a beer. I’ve given...+READ

    In case you hadn’t figured it out, it’s not supposed to taste like beer. It’s supposed to taste like soda pop. The whole thing is aimed at kids. Wake up! Kids don’t usually like beer. Why do you think we have all of those light beers? It’s got very little to do with calories.

    One of the favorite beers amongst the HS and college crowd is “Natty-Lite.” That’s not what I’d call a beer. I’ve given the doctor a better specimen than that garbage.

    As an ex-K-12 administrator from NY, most of the empties found on school property were wine coolers and the like. Anyone remember Zima? It was pure alcohol, no taste. Kids loved it.-COLLAPSE

  • Ugh, I get a bad taste in my mouth just reading about this concoction.
    This is marketing bad beverages to underage consumers - SHAME is absolutely correct!
    At least 'light beer' might be considered a water preservative.

  • Don't knock beer and tomato juice until you've tried it. Depending on the beer, some cheladas are quite tasty.

  • Blech. A wine cooler marketed as beer.

  • If you really want a beer to bring shame - & bad taste - there's always the new Bud & Bud Lite ..... with Clamato! Thought this was a Halloween gag at my local supermarket but unfortunately, someone got paid big bucks to think this one up.

  • Whatever happened to beer-flavoured beer?

  • I resent the opinion by brewers that women wouldn't like the same beer that men drink. This is like drinking peach flavored scotch!!!!!!! There should be a law against brewing crap like this. Why do they insult us like this?????

  • I thought it was a joke, but it's real. WOW!

  • Why do beer companies think women like crap? Do we not have taste buds? We'll put up with alot to lose a few pounds, but given the choice between this and water, I'll take the water.

  • "...a mythical blend of rich malts..."
    Anyone familiar with Belgian trappist beers will certainly know that rich malts in this "brew" are likely to be a fantasy.

  • Please tell me this is a joke.

  • i'm so glad my wife likes "good" beer.

  • This reminds me of a Denis Leary bit:

    "Schnapps, the crack of alcohol. Like to drink, but hate the taste? New Bubblegum Schnapps!"

    Great article, as always.

  • eww....though I think I would try Bubblegum-Flavored Beachtime Barbie Brew...just saying