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Kellogg's Eggo Real Fruit Pizza
I Paid: $2.75 for a 5.3-ounce pizza (prices may vary by region)
Attention, Kellogg's: What, exactly, was wrong with the charming combination of fruit, granola, and yogurt? That's the seriously troubling question raised by the new Eggo Real Fruit Pizza, a fresh entry in the ever-expanding "how do we cater to the big baby known as America" market of premade frozen breakfast foods. According to this product, it's not enough to combine fruit, granola, and Neufchâtel cheese—we gotta slap that stuff onto a pizza crust before people can realistically be expected to eat it for breakfast.
This grim premise doesn't bear particularly delicious fruit in practice. Although Eggo gets a few points for using actual strawberries (or blueberries and raspberries in its Mixed Berry Granola flavor), it loses them again for the way the flavor of the whole thing develops in your mouth. First, you taste crust. Then you taste a hint of strawberries (or a fair amount of the peppier blueberries and raspberries). You are left wanting the tang of the Neufchâtel, which should be standing in for yogurt—the flavor is just missing in action. Then: a lot more crust.
So instead of a deeply satisfying parfait, you'll eat a somewhat crisp pizza crust for the first meal of your day. That is, if you took the time to bake it for five to seven minutes at 425 degrees Fahrenheit. And let's face it: If you're the kind of person who couldn't be bothered to cut up some fruit, spoon yogurt over it, and sprinkle it with granola, you're going to nuke this thing and eat a soggy, doughy mass for breakfast.
I'll bet bucks to bagels if I took a tortilla and lightly crisped it in the oven, added a mix of Greek yogurt and fig jam, and topped it with delicious fresh fruits of my choosing (peach slices, blueberries, figs, chunks of mango), and some more fig jam on the top, and placed it back in the oven for a couple of minutes, I could end up with an insanely tasty breakfast pizza that's probably...+READ
I'll bet bucks to bagels if I took a tortilla and lightly crisped it in the oven, added a mix of Greek yogurt and fig jam, and topped it with delicious fresh fruits of my choosing (peach slices, blueberries, figs, chunks of mango), and some more fig jam on the top, and placed it back in the oven for a couple of minutes, I could end up with an insanely tasty breakfast pizza that's probably universes healthier than this nasty, noxious, chemical-crammed box of mess.
(thi is not a double post. I had to fix a typo)-COLLAPSE
My Food Technology GCSE (15-16yrolds) class had the challenge/project of creating a new fruit product, and go through all the test batches, and marketing/packaging rigmarole in minature. Mine was Fruit Pizza. Since I used cinnamon and OJ in the base, a relatively tart plum jam as sauce and did not use cheese, the whole thing was tasty, lowfat and kept well. No strawberries though, those and kiwi...+READ
My Food Technology GCSE (15-16yrolds) class had the challenge/project of creating a new fruit product, and go through all the test batches, and marketing/packaging rigmarole in minature. Mine was Fruit Pizza. Since I used cinnamon and OJ in the base, a relatively tart plum jam as sauce and did not use cheese, the whole thing was tasty, lowfat and kept well. No strawberries though, those and kiwi go like vinegar in the oven if you're not careful. I went through 10 recipe variations to find the perfect one, and honestly, this product scares me that it came from the same idea.-COLLAPSE
Who do they think will eat this stuff? Certainly not anyone who reads labels, as they're over 400 calories! Might as well be feeding your kids Strawberry PopTarts... they've got fruit, right?
ewww
I am truly horrified.
do NOT WANT!
WTF?
Why is it called Real Fruit pizza? As opposed to that fake fruit pizza crap aunt jamima puts out?
Couldn't you just put fruit on a waffle and end up with a better product?
Wow, just ..wow.
This is the best title for one of your articles in a long time, it had me giggling as I clicked on it, great job. The next time you review a really terrible food, the only way to go is "X Ice Cream Tastes Like Rape."
I'm very confused by this product.
I like Eggo's and all, but I'm not buying that mess of I'm-too-stupid-to-make-my-own-breakfast.
Do not leggo my eggo. As a matter of fact, incinerateggo my eggo and throweggo my eggo outeggo.
Ew.