Bursting the Pop-Tarts Bubble

Published on Friday, August 13, 2010, by James Norton / Edit Post

If you've already taken unholy delight in anticipating the hostile reviews of the Pop-Tarts restaurant in Times Square (and reading some, thanks to our mention of the fracas in this week's Crib Sheet), well, here's your payoff: a roundup of the various negative reviews (including a snark-laden slideshow from Serious Eats) via the Daily Beast.

It should be said, however, that training critical firepower on Pop-Tarts World of Times Square is like using an IED to take out a trained squirrel riding a miniature tricycle—the squirrel dies, and nobody learns anything from it. And yes, it's a little sad.

Two main objections to the target at hand: First, the theme ingredient is Pop-Tarts. Ferran Adrià himself would be challenged to come up with a whole menu of edible food revolving around what are essentially frosted mailing envelopes filled with industrial-grade jam. He'd do it, sure, but it would tax him, and he might have to close El Bulli again.

Second, it's located in Times Square, home to T.G.I. Friday's, Red Lobster, and who knows what other middlebrow feedbags for incompetent tourists. Times Square is not New York City. It's representative of New York the same way Disneyland is representative of the American West or North Korea is representative of Asia in general.

So, bravo to the critics who had the courage to take Pop-Tarts down a peg, but, seriously, Serious Eats. Hunt some bigger game.

(Coming up later this month: I review the Taco Bell Cantina tacos for Supertaster! After that ... Is the new Denny's cheese stick sandwich all it's cracked up to be?)

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POST A COMMENT |9 Comments

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  • I agree with Mr Norton, Bigger Game is the thing here. Anyone with even half a brain could take on Pop-Tarts World, and have enough brain power left to produce a big diatribe against every chain restaurant strip that sprouts in every town in America. Besides, I'd rather have children with Pop-Tarts in their stomachs for breakfast than nothing at all...but that issue could lead to a whole new...+READ

    I agree with Mr Norton, Bigger Game is the thing here. Anyone with even half a brain could take on Pop-Tarts World, and have enough brain power left to produce a big diatribe against every chain restaurant strip that sprouts in every town in America. Besides, I'd rather have children with Pop-Tarts in their stomachs for breakfast than nothing at all...but that issue could lead to a whole new diatribe, maybe one worth talking about.-COLLAPSE

  • Sister Assumpta from the 90s BBC sitcom "Father Ted" nailed it when she said, "I don't think Pop-Tarts have any place in the Lord's plan."

  • I beg to differ with ceee. Although I was raised on the fruit-flavored - strawberry or blueberry poptarts - and have the beach towel to prove it, my favorites now are brown sugar and cinnamon or s'mores. :D

  • the 2 best snacks that take you back to when you were a kid: strawberry and chocolate poptarts, I know it's bad but sometimes I eat them before bed. I don't know anyone else who does. If I have a stomach ache poptarts will settle the score. I Heart Poptarts in a big Time Square way; though I may never visit NY not my kind of town. I'll stay in Cali eating my poptarts.

  • Ugh, I've never liked Poptarts. Toaster Strudels were always my thing growing up. Wake me when there's a toaster strudel restaurant.

  • Ha ha ha! I love it when people make their point with humor.

  • This is surreal. Even as a kid I didn't like poptarts, and toasting them actually makes them worse since it dries everything out.

  • Loved the envelope quote as well. James, could you please do a review of the new Kraft Homestyle Mac (which involves a roux and breadcrumbs) for Supertaster? I want your 2 cents to settle a dispute with my dearly beloved :)

  • "...essentially frosted mailing envelopes filled with industrial-grade jam."

    Pure James Norton. Always an entertaining read, along with being well-informed.