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Dear Helena,
When I dine out and we’re finished eating, I sometimes put the plates in a neat pile at the edge of the table, thinking I’m making life more convenient for the server. But in a recent online discussion of what waiters hate about customers, I learned that servers apparently loathe plate-stacking.
When my two-year-old is squirting ketchup on the floor or when my friends and I linger for 20 minutes after paying the check, then at least I know I’m being annoying and can leave a bigger tip to compensate. I’m curious if there are ways in which I’m being annoying without realizing it. What can I do to avoid unwittingly bugging my server?
—Compulsive Plate-Stacker
Dear Compulsive Plate-Stacker,
You shouldn’t worry too much about the server. After all, you’re paying him. But there are some little ways in which you could easily help him out at no cost to yourself.
First, resist the impulse to whisk dirty dishes to the edge of the table. Servers may not like to carry plates in stacks, which are heavy and precarious. In more upscale restaurants, management may actually require servers to carry no more than two plates at a time. Generally, the server must separate your stack, and in the process, he may get crumbs and gravy stuck to his hands. Malcolm Fenwick∗, the creator of bitterwaitress and a maître d’ in Manhattan, says he then has to waste time washing his hands. If he’s busy, he has no choice but to skip this step and compromise hygiene.
So when you’ve finished eating, leave your plate where it is. A good server won’t let it stay there very long (although he should wait until everyone at the table has finished). But it is OK to pass your plate to the server, says Fenwick, especially if he would otherwise have to lean awkwardly across the table.
Second, leave your napkin on the table when you finish eating. Removing your napkin is usually the busser’s job, but if you put it on your plate, the server has to remove it and put it in the linen bin, and then take your plate back to the dishwasher. Fenwick adds, “I then have on my hands whatever came off your napkin, and [again] if I’m busy, I may not wash them.”
Third, at the start of the meal, you shouldn’t dither when you give your order. Obviously, it’s OK if you have questions and can’t make up your mind until they’ve been answered. But you should not force the server to listen to your entire decision-making process. “Half the time when people say they’re ready to order it means they’re ready to decide,” says Fenwick. Servers do not like having to waste precious minutes listening to you blather: “Oh, you’re getting the Caesar salad? In that case, maybe I’ll get the spinach soup and we can split them both? Or how do people feel about getting a large Caesar for the table?”
Finally, there’s one thing people do that might seem a little peremptory and demeaning but actually is not. That is using the international signal for “Check please,” or miming scribbling on a pad. Vasil Azarov, a server in San Francisco, says, “It’s a real time-saver because it saves me from having to come over and find out what you want.” Now if only we could work out sign language for “Please refill my water” and “I am ready for the dessert menu.”
∗He asked that his real name not be used.
As server, I don't mind stacked plates - I cannot stand, however, when customers *hand* me stacks of plates - or I go to pick up one plate, my hands are otherwise full, and every other diner at the table grabs their plate and tries to hand it to me simultaneously. I usually make a joke about running out of hands and come back *immediately* to fetch the rest of the plates, but it is a little...+READ
As server, I don't mind stacked plates - I cannot stand, however, when customers *hand* me stacks of plates - or I go to pick up one plate, my hands are otherwise full, and every other diner at the table grabs their plate and tries to hand it to me simultaneously. I usually make a joke about running out of hands and come back *immediately* to fetch the rest of the plates, but it is a little annoying. Does it make me think less of anyone? Not really. Part of the job.-COLLAPSE
Hmm, well from merely taking even a cursory glance at some of the articles you write, it's no wonder you're not making many friends, no not even your waiter likes you, no, no no!
The best thing you can do is simply cross your silverware, or place them parallel across your plate (This is the international hospitality signal to clear).
If you find a particular finished plate offensive, place it to the side of you, in order to signal a staff member to remove it.
Definitely don't stack if people at your table are still eating.
I know when I see a stack that the guest...+READ
The best thing you can do is simply cross your silverware, or place them parallel across your plate (This is the international hospitality signal to clear).
If you find a particular finished plate offensive, place it to the side of you, in order to signal a staff member to remove it.
Definitely don't stack if people at your table are still eating.
I know when I see a stack that the guest is trying to help. So I take it as a kind gesture, even if they don't know how to stack the plates.
I work in a pretty upscale place where we try not to stack plates if possible.-COLLAPSE
suzysue2
The difference between the stresses of waiting tables and those of other jobs is that a waiter is both punished for dealing with them and NOT dealing with them. i was a waiter for a long time,and I doubt you'd be as understanding as you want your waiter to be when her/his 'dealing with that' at another table means she/he is now late to get YOUR order,and everyone else's, and dragging...+READ
suzysue2
The difference between the stresses of waiting tables and those of other jobs is that a waiter is both punished for dealing with them and NOT dealing with them. i was a waiter for a long time,and I doubt you'd be as understanding as you want your waiter to be when her/his 'dealing with that' at another table means she/he is now late to get YOUR order,and everyone else's, and dragging germs and food from another tables dirty plates along with your complementary water. In no other job is it legal to force an employee to deal with certain rudenesses and trials from the very people on whom they are dependent for their living!-COLLAPSE
In LA, if you bus your own tables, as a waitperson, the health dept's grading system deducts a whole grade, from A to B for instance.
This does make a difference to a lot of diners, and the hand washing comment in the article should be taken seriously - one can spread germs by bussing the tables, and not washing hands adequately in between serving other tables, etc.
My wife is a p[late stacker from way-back.
As a professional server for over 10 years there are many annoying things that customers do, but dealing with them is part of the reason you can make good money in a relatively short period of time. Waiters who get worked up over customers who stack plates or take too long to order should get another job. The true offenses that waiters should get worked up about are the same as any other person...+READ
As a professional server for over 10 years there are many annoying things that customers do, but dealing with them is part of the reason you can make good money in a relatively short period of time. Waiters who get worked up over customers who stack plates or take too long to order should get another job. The true offenses that waiters should get worked up about are the same as any other person should get angry about when interacting with others such as rude or abusive behavior.
The hand washing comment in this article really peeved me as well because no matter how busy I am if my hands are dirty I wash them and the fact that Chow would actually publish a 'threat' that stacking plates could lead the waiter to not wash their hands is absolutely outrageous. Malcolm Fenwick should be ashamed of admitting that out loud, no wonder people have such disregard for waitstaff.-COLLAPSE
It seems that the problem is exacerbated by the fact that restaurants are trying to cram more tables into the dining room and the tables are getting smaller. So with bread, bread plates, water glasses, wine glasses, utensils, plates, etc on the table there is very little room on the table to start with. Stacking plates almost becomes necessary in order to free up room on the table as it becomes...+READ
It seems that the problem is exacerbated by the fact that restaurants are trying to cram more tables into the dining room and the tables are getting smaller. So with bread, bread plates, water glasses, wine glasses, utensils, plates, etc on the table there is very little room on the table to start with. Stacking plates almost becomes necessary in order to free up room on the table as it becomes available.-COLLAPSE
I would be disinclined to stacik in a nice place, but if he let them sit there for an eternity, they are going somewhere that is not in front of me and I would not give a rip how huffy he got.
And the twice snotty comment/threat of not handwashing? Tsk. That waiter interviewed for the article is precisely the guy I will think about when I am on the verge of caring about what my waiter thinks of...+READ
I would be disinclined to stacik in a nice place, but if he let them sit there for an eternity, they are going somewhere that is not in front of me and I would not give a rip how huffy he got.
And the twice snotty comment/threat of not handwashing? Tsk. That waiter interviewed for the article is precisely the guy I will think about when I am on the verge of caring about what my waiter thinks of how I am treating him.
Waiters expect some delay and can cope. But I do agree that if you indicate you are ready to order then you better have the basics down. If the waiter makes assumptions when you have not indicated your readiness to order, well they can just stand there all night as far as I am concerned. But to reorient the huffy waiter (like the interviewed one), you work around our schedule, we do not come to dine as it suits you.
(ref - I have owned a restaurant and have waited on OH SO MANY tables)
To customers: If you are kind and courteous you are well liked. If it matters. Waiters mostly dislike being treated like you are a member of the forced labor... er...unpaid help.-COLLAPSE
ODATLYNN Clearly you have never been a server or been in the service industry. Courtesy isn't dead at least COMPULSIVE PLATE STACKER thinks about someone other than themselves! Although, the waiter is there to serve lingering at the table beyond (bfast/lunch/dinner) service is completely ridiculous. Servers are there to make money and if guests linger with no need of service after the guests...+READ
ODATLYNN Clearly you have never been a server or been in the service industry. Courtesy isn't dead at least COMPULSIVE PLATE STACKER thinks about someone other than themselves! Although, the waiter is there to serve lingering at the table beyond (bfast/lunch/dinner) service is completely ridiculous. Servers are there to make money and if guests linger with no need of service after the guests finish their apps, entree, and/or dessert that is disrespectful not only to the server but to other guests who want to dine in the restaurant as well. A restaurant is a place of business and isn't a lounge for guests to linger for as long as they want (unless that's the feel of the restaurant i.e. coffee shops, diners, etc.) ! It's people like you who don't respect the service industry with your mentality. I bet you would think it's perfectly fine to walk into a retail store accept help from a stylist representative ask for a bunch of different clothes options and not buy anything under the guise of it's their job! Reevaluate the way you treat people because I assure you it'll come back to you some way or another!-COLLAPSE
Geesh! Her point is well taken. They are there to SERVE you. What do you care what the server thinks of you. Your going to pay him (tip) him. Right? You go out to have a nice dinner. Not to impress the waiter. Don't take it so personally, has nothing to do with you!
Redhot, Perhaps you are correct but when I see something like "You shouldn't worry too much about the server. After all.." in an open forum about food, service and manners, I take it personally because I am that person. I am that server. To me, that's like giving people licence to treat their waiters any way they see fit simply because they're paying them. There are enough people out there who...+READ
Redhot, Perhaps you are correct but when I see something like "You shouldn't worry too much about the server. After all.." in an open forum about food, service and manners, I take it personally because I am that person. I am that server. To me, that's like giving people licence to treat their waiters any way they see fit simply because they're paying them. There are enough people out there who already feel that servers are beneath them and treat them that way - a statement like that doesn't help - that's all I'm saying - it doesn't help.-COLLAPSE
iEatErgoiBlo, I don't think you need to take that comment personally. I am sure that wasn't the intention of the writer. Just like you said, "Servers are people and they're doing a job, just as when you go out to the office, you do a job", even at most offices it's about one's value for one's contribution. I thought the article was very much for and not against waiters.
I find the comment "after all, you're paying him", to be extraordinarily ignorant. Clearly, you are one of the people we serve who actually treats us as a servant and not as a person. Servers are people and they're doing a job, just as when you go out to the office, you do a job. Don't make us feel like our contribution to the workforce is any less important than yours. We know how to do our job...+READ
I find the comment "after all, you're paying him", to be extraordinarily ignorant. Clearly, you are one of the people we serve who actually treats us as a servant and not as a person. Servers are people and they're doing a job, just as when you go out to the office, you do a job. Don't make us feel like our contribution to the workforce is any less important than yours. We know how to do our job and your comment implies that simply because you're giving us money, it's okay to think of us (and treat us) as slaves.
Our job (which by the way pays us far less than the hourly standard minimum wage) is to make sure you have everything you need and to read your minds. Our job is to know what you want before you want it. Have a little respect, please.
On the other side of that coin, if your server actually appears to hate you, then they are not a real server. A real server is always polite and never gives the impression they're annoyed by the client. Ever. If your server appears annoyed with you, you need to bring that to the attention of the manager on duty - it's unacceptable.
Most of our job is common sense. Most of your job as a customer is also common sense.
Would YOU carry that stack of plates you just made? Is there a door that you'd have to make your way through with that stack? Would anything fall off it if you got bumped or if a child suddenly darted across your path?
Stacking plates is a tricky business - especially if they're different sizes. We know how to stack them and we're good at it - we've been doing it for years and can carry more weight on one hand than you can - but it has to be balanced. Stick a small plate under a large plate, and we can't do it. Stick a fork under that and you just made your server make another trip to your table. And that's okay. It's our job. But it's better if you let us do it - we have our methods and they are quick and efficient. Passing plates is sometimes okay and sometimes not. If we can't reach it, thank you. If we can reach it but haven't taken it yet, then that's because we're stacking in a certain way. If there is stuff left on your plate, we grab those last - take note, we cannot stack a plate on top of a plate that has bones or broccoli heads or napkins on it - those go on top of the stack or in the free hand we have left. It's like a plate puzzle and to hand us the wrong piece at the wrong time interferes with the mental puzzle map we made when we approached the table. We have a plan - it's our job to have that plan. It's nice that you want to help but please don't.
Pushing plates to the edge of the table is okay by me - if you want it out of your way, I'll take it. BUT, be aware that if you push your plate to the edge before everyone else is finished, it will be removed. If not everyone is finished, that's not the server's fault - it's your guest's fault. We do not clear before everyone has finished - unless there is a plate-pusher. The plate-pusher's plate will be whisked away but if anyone complains that the rest of you aren't finished yet, take it up with the plate-pusher. The plate-pusher has declared he wishes his plate removed and we have followed their wishes. That is our job.
There are several things a customer can do that bug a server but I don't consider trying to be helpful one of them.
Most people don't have a clue as to what our job entails and when someone has the foresight to think that something might be more convenient us, that's a nicety and while the crummy server doesn't see it that way, the professional one does.
I commend Compulsive-Plate-Stacker for trying to help us out - most people wouldn't think to.
ps. You shouldn't need sign language for "please refill my water". Your waiter should already be there. If you need sign language, you have a crummy waiter or one who isn't smart enough to bring you your own personal water carafe.-COLLAPSE
I agree with @akay about having servers express gratitude for this in more casual environments. I've been doing this for years, ever since my best friend- a waitress in countless establishments of varying expense and quality- told me in college this is actually one thing she WISHED more people would do. I always thought I was being helpful...yikes!
That's just weird. Where do people even come up with the idea to stack their plates at the end of the table? Maybe in a cafeteria, but at a restaurant?
Hear, Hear to the comment on waiters removing plates once EVERYONE has finished. Thanks Helena. I don't think most waiters know about this one. It is SO rude.
Another comment, which Helena could add to the column: there is etiquette to silverwear placement on the plate, as well as napkin placement. It exists to make life easier for all people involved, so it is worth knowing.
If you are still eating, do not set your silverwear on the plate with the pieces parallel. The fork and knife should be at 45 degree angles, and cross perpendicularly in the...+READ
Another comment, which Helena could add to the column: there is etiquette to silverwear placement on the plate, as well as napkin placement. It exists to make life easier for all people involved, so it is worth knowing.
If you are still eating, do not set your silverwear on the plate with the pieces parallel. The fork and knife should be at 45 degree angles, and cross perpendicularly in the middle of the plate if possible.
If you are done, your fork and knife should be parallel, at a forty five degree angle starting from the right side of the plate pointing left and away from you. That both signals you are done, so the server can clear your plate without interrupting your conversation, and makes it easier for them to grab the silverwear as they clear the plate, reducing the chances of dropping it on you and saving them time.
Napkins go in a neat bundle beside the plate. Placing a napkin on the plate needlessly dirties it, and makes it messier for the waiter/busser to handle, because it will pick up extra grime from the dirty plate.-COLLAPSE
If you think for just a moment about the way plates are cleared, with one plate held in hand, and one plate resting partially on that plate and partially on the server's arm, both of those "foundation" plates need to have clean bottoms to not soil the server's hand and sleeve. The plate in hand gets the silverwear, the plate on the arm gets other plates. If somebody stacked even just 2 plates,...+READ
If you think for just a moment about the way plates are cleared, with one plate held in hand, and one plate resting partially on that plate and partially on the server's arm, both of those "foundation" plates need to have clean bottoms to not soil the server's hand and sleeve. The plate in hand gets the silverwear, the plate on the arm gets other plates. If somebody stacked even just 2 plates, then there is sauce on the bottom of one of the plates, which means the server gets to wash his or her hands. If they have to wash their hands after every action, their skin will crack and they will waste time.
@akay, please consider the hows and whys, not just what you think is right.-COLLAPSE
In a nice restaurant, I'm in 100% agreement; I wouldn't think to rearrange dishes or put a linen napkin on a messy plate. Especially at top establishments, watching the staff clear plates is almost choreography -- don't throw a kink in that dance.
However, when eating at a casual bar and grill or pub, I've actually had wait staff sincerely compliment me for thinking to condense my mess so that...+READ
In a nice restaurant, I'm in 100% agreement; I wouldn't think to rearrange dishes or put a linen napkin on a messy plate. Especially at top establishments, watching the staff clear plates is almost choreography -- don't throw a kink in that dance.
However, when eating at a casual bar and grill or pub, I've actually had wait staff sincerely compliment me for thinking to condense my mess so that it's easier to carry.
That said, be reasonable with your "stacking" -- I would never set my server up for an accident by putting a wobbly glass on top of a plate, constructing a leaning tower, or sandwiching silverware between plates. Just use your common sense.
Stacking just two empty plates with a paper napkin* and those little paper rings that are wrapped around silverware bunches is something I will continue to do.
*To those who say that putting a paper napkin on top of a plate is rude, then why do I see servers do it so often?-COLLAPSE
I'm with you, chocolatetaste. Kater and RosaRedHot, of course it's their job—but don't *you* like it when people try to make *your* job a little bit easier/more pleasant? Isn't it kind of nice to just be a thoughtful human being once in a while?
God knows I'm not always thoughtful—on the contrary I tend to be too-often oblivious to my surroundings—and I appreciate the tips. Having never served,...+READ
I'm with you, chocolatetaste. Kater and RosaRedHot, of course it's their job—but don't *you* like it when people try to make *your* job a little bit easier/more pleasant? Isn't it kind of nice to just be a thoughtful human being once in a while?
God knows I'm not always thoughtful—on the contrary I tend to be too-often oblivious to my surroundings—and I appreciate the tips. Having never served, I thought stacking plates was helpful before this column.-COLLAPSE
it s so funny to see all the comments . KATER, i don t see the point in doing such a rude comment, i m wondering how would you feel doing the job, how would you feel when you re trying to be polite with everybody and helpful and all u receive is rudeness, not even hello or thank you.
WHY is all the time waiter/waitresses are waiting for tips? how do you know it that well???? i don t know what...+READ
it s so funny to see all the comments . KATER, i don t see the point in doing such a rude comment, i m wondering how would you feel doing the job, how would you feel when you re trying to be polite with everybody and helpful and all u receive is rudeness, not even hello or thank you.
WHY is all the time waiter/waitresses are waiting for tips? how do you know it that well???? i don t know what restaurants are you going to , maybe KFC and Mc , but not everybody is the same. it s only in your mind. i bet you call them servants not waiters. in this beautiful and full of different cultures city, london, i realised they are 2 types of people : the ones that they know good manners code and the ones with big self esteem , the most important, most perfect ones ( only in their minds ).
and KATER, just to let you know, it s not a crime not to leave tips. ;)-COLLAPSE
Amen Kater, the server are there to serve. It's the title of their position for God's sake.
What's next a list of things to make life easier for the maid. These are servants, I'm not going to be rude to them and I tip well other than that I'll do as I damn well please.
I love this advice column, mostly because she gives the worst advice ever.
Thank you for including this information about plate stacking. It really does make it harder to carry them. We generally have a system that involves taking two plates slightly overlapping in one hand, and then putting the rest on that wider and more stable base. It is the bane of my existence as a server when people stack plates at the end of their table, and they've left some of the cutlery, or...+READ
Thank you for including this information about plate stacking. It really does make it harder to carry them. We generally have a system that involves taking two plates slightly overlapping in one hand, and then putting the rest on that wider and more stable base. It is the bane of my existence as a server when people stack plates at the end of their table, and they've left some of the cutlery, or there are some bones, or shells in between. It makes it dangerous to carry and really difficult to make it to the dishpit all in one stack.
It doesn't make me mad or anything, I realize people are trying to be helpful, but it is just irritating. If someone stacks them properly, then it's all good, and appreciated, but most poeple just don't unfortunately.
The napkin on the plate thing winds up being really gross too. It gets covered in sauce and things just get messy really quickly.-COLLAPSE
I wonder if the server might prefer that I just bring my plate to the kitchen myself so that he doesn't have to face the danger of a potential hand washing scenario. Or perhaps I could put my tip right into his wallet for him so that he doesn't risk a hangnail. Better still I can wait the table myself and swing by his place afterward with his tip money. He could stub a toe on the way in to work.
I was confused by the comment that someone had to go to the restroom to wash their hands. Almost all municipalities require a hand sink in the kitchen area partly for this purpose. if there isn't a hand sink make sure the health inspector notices that on the next inspection.
actually, Helena, you'd probably be shocked at the huge number of servers and bartenders who not only understand the american sign language sign for "water"-- but when signaled, they will scurry to fill that water glass, from across the room or way the heck out of shouting distance down the bar.
everybody repeat after me. take right hand, bend pinky and thumb into palm, spreading the other 3...+READ
actually, Helena, you'd probably be shocked at the huge number of servers and bartenders who not only understand the american sign language sign for "water"-- but when signaled, they will scurry to fill that water glass, from across the room or way the heck out of shouting distance down the bar.
everybody repeat after me. take right hand, bend pinky and thumb into palm, spreading the other 3 fingers into a W shape. now turn your hand to the side and tap just below your lower lip with the side of your index finger , still making that W shape with your hand. Tap twice or thrice. you've just asked for water. try it out. btw, the "thank you" sign is cupping your right hand, touching your fingertips briefly below your bottom lip, then bringing your cupped hand in front of you, extended toward the person you're thanking, almost as if your cupped hand contained a physical "thanks" object you're offering that person.
on subject, servers wash their hands an awful lot, and don't complain about it if they are professionals-- it's part of the job, just like it is for chefs. i disagree that it's always bad manners to stack plates. i don't think it's a big deal if the stack isn't 15 plates precariously teetering on someone's fork on the bottom. . . i stack plates when appropriate (when the plates are in the way at a small table, or at an informal place, or when the plates are quite "clean," not with 1/2 eaten portions of stuff, etc) i'm frequently thanked by servers for making their jobs easier. then again i know how to stack plates ;) if i was not good at stacking plates, or if i was in a fine dining place, or the plates were too messy, i wouldn't dream of stacking plates. also if i know the restaurant composts, i leave the plates absolutely to the server, as there is frequently one last sorting step of food/paper waste, and they need to be able to perform this w/o interference, or trash the entire contents of the plate.-COLLAPSE
I was a server in my previous life, before going to the corporate world and I was always polite to my guests. However, there seems to be a new trend these days that absolutly drives me crazy & WILL affect the amount of tip I leave. IF anyone at my table is still eating & a server offers dessert, the tip just got lowered. WAIT until we are all done to offer dessert. I NEVER offered dessert before...+READ
I was a server in my previous life, before going to the corporate world and I was always polite to my guests. However, there seems to be a new trend these days that absolutly drives me crazy & WILL affect the amount of tip I leave. IF anyone at my table is still eating & a server offers dessert, the tip just got lowered. WAIT until we are all done to offer dessert. I NEVER offered dessert before the last person at the table was done wating. It is rude & who knows if we will or won't want it, I can't tell that if I am still eating. Both my husband & I HATE THIS. The other issue is IF the server brings me my check before I ask for it. IF we say no to dessert, who's to say we won't want an after dinner drink as our dessert instead of a piece of cake? IF the server brings the check before I ask for it, not only does your tip drop even more but I take the check, fold it up, & place it in my purse or I crumple it up & lay iton the table so the server will have to pick it up when they come back by to see if we have placed our card in the little book they place the check in (forgot the name). It is also rude to bring the check to the table while we are still eating, which has happened more than I care to say. At which time I will kindly ask that you remove it from the table & now your tip has gone down even more.
The LAST thing that just drives me crazy that has become a popular thing to do these days is when we are the last 2 or 3 sets of guests in the restaurant & the server (whether it be ours or just another server on the floor) starts sweeping around us as we are finishing our food. The restaurant has not closed yet but yet the servers are in a hurry to leave since they have been cut & we now have to deal with dust & crud from the floor flying up into the air because they want to sweep near & around outr table. Why don't they switch a closing duty with someone or the closer is the one responsilbe (or closerS) for sweeping the floor if it's required? This too will twendle your tip to neat nothing. Don't worry, I will let you know why I am leaving you a $1 before I leave IF all of the above have been done in one evening, which it has. HOWEVER, with that said, IF you do none of the above & you were just an "okay" server, I WILL give you at least 20%, if you were OUTSTANDING & WOW'D us, I will give you closer to 25-30% since I KNOW what it's like to serve table. I will take care of you if you take care of me.-COLLAPSE
ratgirlagogo... when you are waiting tables and you are so in the weeds that you are about to lose your mind... anything, and i mean anything, that wastes more than a millisecond of your time is considered a monumentally time-consuming chore. I did not know the meaning of busy until i started waiting tables.
Thanks, Helena. Learned a lot from this one.
Ewww. I work at a very busy restaurant and always find time to wash my hands.
Wow, this is great Helena. Now I know that stacking plates really isn't helping. Great article.
Y
As a caterer, I love the feeling behind customers bussing plates to my tray, but not the extra work it creates. Stacking plates haphazardly is dangerous and I have to re-stack them anyway to carry the tray. Just hang on to the plate until I come get it, or wave me over, I don't mind.
Working in the industry, I agree with all of the above. In addition, do not place empty glasses on your plates. They go to different places. Likewise, do not hand items to a passing waiter.
Totally agree with your answer. Don't try to "help" the waiter by attempting to do his/her job. You only add to their work. And by the way, a napkiin (whether linen or paper) should NEVER be placed on a dirty plate. That's just disgusting and demonstrates poor table manners. It's up there with chewing with your mouth open.
Dear diners, the truth is wait and kitchen staff don't wash their hands very often. And it is, in fact, a messy job... When it's busy you don't even have time to go to the bathroom, for any reason, for hours. To the person who made the query, honestly, don't worry about helping the waiter. Servers need to stack the plates themselves, if allowed, to keep them balanced and as neat as possible..it's...+READ
Dear diners, the truth is wait and kitchen staff don't wash their hands very often. And it is, in fact, a messy job... When it's busy you don't even have time to go to the bathroom, for any reason, for hours. To the person who made the query, honestly, don't worry about helping the waiter. Servers need to stack the plates themselves, if allowed, to keep them balanced and as neat as possible..it's an acquired skill, and everyone has a different sense of equilibrium. If you want to be nice (for which we all thank you for considering us!), the best thing you can do is just be polite, and act as if your server is a person. If your chair keeps getting knocked or your purse on the chair, try to move in or remove it if you can--you're in the way, and we really are trying to not knock you, but space is tight, and plates are hot and heavy. Holding the door if we have plates in hand is wonderful, if you happen to be at the door. Watch over your children, keep them at the table, and do not let them run around. Please understand if mistakes are made or conversations are sometimes short. These are the absolute best ways you can help your server---just let us do the work, and be nice to us. I've been in the business 20 years, and 95% of servers really do want you to have a good experience, and do feel bad when things go wrong. They get nervous when things take too long. They feel bad if they feel you're unhappy (unless you're one of those 'never happy no matter what' people--but they are few). It's a demanding job, and just being nice is the number one thing you can do for any server. Thanks for caring about our feelings!-COLLAPSE
I actually had the opposite reaction—how much stuff is on your hands from the edges of the plates that you can't just wipe off? Sounds to me like the messiness of the process is being exaggerated a little.
ratgirlagogo, I had exactly the same horrified thought as I was reading this. Really... sticky globs of food on his hands really is the least of the reasons to periodically wash. I didn't realize that hand washing was considered such a chore.
I think it's weird and kind of alarming that "bitterwaitress" regards washing his hands while handling food to be such a monumentally time-consuming chore.