Real Aphrodisiacs for Valentine's
How to Make a Healthy Snack
McBites = Modern McNuggets?
Classic Valentine Dishes
How to Scrape a Vanilla Bean
Mark Bitterman on Chocolate
Oscar Mayer Lunchables Chicken + American Sub Sandwich
I Paid: $3.59 for 5.7 ounces of food and 6.5 ounces of water (prices may vary by region)
On that front, the package of the Lunchables Chicken + American Sub Sandwich brags up the healthiness of its contents. “Made with WHOLE GRAIN,” says the text under the photo of the sandwich. The Jell-O is sugar free, the beverage is bottled spring water (more on that in a second), the chicken breast and cheese are modest in quantity, and the calories for all eight food items in the box total a mere 250.
On the flip side, this one modest meal contains no fewer than nine pieces of plastic or foil packaging, to say nothing of the ethics of bottled water. There are nearly 100 ingredients that go into the various foods contained within the meal, most of which require a Google search and careful reading before they become even vaguely understandable. The bottled spring water comes with what is essentially a Kool-Aid Alka-Seltzer tablet that you insert into the bottle to make it potable for kids—which means, in this case, flavored like sweetened artificial fruit.
There are no real surprises flavor-wise. The sandwich is little more than a dinner roll with luncheon meat, WHOLE GRAIN notwithstanding. The tiny “crispy rice treat” is a faithful rendition of the classic, consumable in three small bites. The American cheese is devoid of flavor, as you’d expect.
In short, it is what it is: an affordable, convenient, convincingly packaged meal substitute, chockablock with resonant buzzwords, enough ingredients to choke a stenographer, and food that is both calorically light and aggravatingly inoffensive. There’s already a book dissecting the various ingredients in a Twinkie; a similarly interesting one could probably be written about the humble Chicken + American Sub Sandwich, starting with the farm where the chickens live their short lives and ending with a box of plastic and chemicals that millions of kids call lunch.
I've been reading through the archives of your review and note that you not too infrequently talk about how fat Americans are, yet I detect a hint of criticism (or disdain) when talking about the rice crispy treat in this being only three bites. Shouldn't you be celebrating the small size of the dessert portion of this since that is part of what needs to be changed to reduce obesity rates?
I'm curious... do Moms currently still view Lunchables as "crap"? The so-called "healthy" Lunchable has been introduced to the public, but does this make a bit of difference with Moms? Kids could probably care less, in fact, Lunchables has lost some credibility with kids. Not cool anymore, or something... I remember growing up without my mom ever intentionally buying Lunchables, and I didn't miss...+READ
I'm curious... do Moms currently still view Lunchables as "crap"? The so-called "healthy" Lunchable has been introduced to the public, but does this make a bit of difference with Moms? Kids could probably care less, in fact, Lunchables has lost some credibility with kids. Not cool anymore, or something... I remember growing up without my mom ever intentionally buying Lunchables, and I didn't miss it. I wonder if Moms are educated on the real ingredients in a Lunchable, and if they are, does it affect their purchase decision?-COLLAPSE
This is so lame. "There may be few more anthropologically significant pieces of edible history than the new Oscar Mayer Lunchables variety." REALLY? All the foods in the world and this is a key anthropological artifact? Gimme a break. If Lunchables disappeared from the universe tomorrow, how would the course of human history be changed? You take yourself and your subject way too seriously, which...+READ
This is so lame. "There may be few more anthropologically significant pieces of edible history than the new Oscar Mayer Lunchables variety." REALLY? All the foods in the world and this is a key anthropological artifact? Gimme a break. If Lunchables disappeared from the universe tomorrow, how would the course of human history be changed? You take yourself and your subject way too seriously, which suggests you don't really have anything useful to say.-COLLAPSE
Kids have no defense against the marketers if parents don't take responsibility for their kids. Last I checked, the kids didn't have a paycheck coming in and while i understand the convenience of this concept in prepackaging, its easier to separate the stuff at home and buy a cool compartmentalized box to reuse. Although, I think the kids would lose the cool factor of have "store bought" lunch.
...+READ
Kids have no defense against the marketers if parents don't take responsibility for their kids. Last I checked, the kids didn't have a paycheck coming in and while i understand the convenience of this concept in prepackaging, its easier to separate the stuff at home and buy a cool compartmentalized box to reuse. Although, I think the kids would lose the cool factor of have "store bought" lunch.
It sucks that the blatant misrepresentation of natural and healthy targets our youth. What happen to eating an apple a day?-COLLAPSE
When I was a kid, I wanted Lunchables which were a new product at the time. My mom bought it for me since she never said no to our requests (this was before childhood obesity), but after I ate it once-- she forced me to bring the thing back home and she would fill it up with regular deli meat, cheese and crackers-- haha.
Not sure if this was because of price or health. She definitely thought...+READ
When I was a kid, I wanted Lunchables which were a new product at the time. My mom bought it for me since she never said no to our requests (this was before childhood obesity), but after I ate it once-- she forced me to bring the thing back home and she would fill it up with regular deli meat, cheese and crackers-- haha.
Not sure if this was because of price or health. She definitely thought that stuff was crap, but she did still buy it for me. Also, I wouldn't say it's an affordable choice. I remember it being a bit of luxury at my Queens public school.-COLLAPSE
You can't write "more on that in a second," then follow it up with "to say nothing of the ethics..." That is poor writing. To tease the issue, then say nothing, even by implied disapproval within context, is kinda lazy. Either address the issue or don't. You can't half-ass it like that.
Let's all face reality here:
Food companies are so adept at advertising that they are able to coerce children into wanting processed, additive ridden junk rather than real, natural food.
This should be a crime. And in the future, I am sure it will be.
The fact that there is such a large market for this stuff just goes to show how ignorant, uninformed and apathetic millions of Westerners are.
I agree 100%. And, you didn't t even touch on the obscene amount of fat and salt in most of the "Lunchables". And yet, how is it that they are so attractive to children? My son begs for them in the grocery store. Is it the cute box? That dessert is included? I can't actually figure it out!
Just a small correction: Everything is a chemical or made of chemicals. Everything. You, me, everything. All of the wonderful 'nutrients' and vitamins in healthy foods? Chemicals. Protein? A chemical. Fats? Chemicals. Chemical is not a dirty word. Having said that, eating as close as possible to the farm is probably a good idea. Just trying to correct improper use of the word 'chemical'.
What I find even more insidious is that things like Lunchables promote the idea that children should be fed different food from adults, which then leads to things like Gerber Graduates (special packaged foods for toddlers). It's all just marketing you get you to buy "value added" products you don't need. How much profit do you think there is in a Lunchable vs. buying the same foods separately and...+READ
What I find even more insidious is that things like Lunchables promote the idea that children should be fed different food from adults, which then leads to things like Gerber Graduates (special packaged foods for toddlers). It's all just marketing you get you to buy "value added" products you don't need. How much profit do you think there is in a Lunchable vs. buying the same foods separately and packaging them yourself (assuming you would buy such "foods" in the first place)?-COLLAPSE
No. Just no. Not even in an "emergency".
(says the mother of a 12 y/o brown bagger)
These are about like the Kids Cuisine frozen meals. Not really any good but marketed directly at the kids. While my kids were growing up I would occasionally buy them some. It was not very often, no set schedule, but they thought it was a huge treat when I bought them. (They work good for bribery too - hey I'm a single dad I use all the cheat/help I can get!)
Now they are both in college, make...+READ
These are about like the Kids Cuisine frozen meals. Not really any good but marketed directly at the kids. While my kids were growing up I would occasionally buy them some. It was not very often, no set schedule, but they thought it was a huge treat when I bought them. (They work good for bribery too - hey I'm a single dad I use all the cheat/help I can get!)
Now they are both in college, make better food choices than I do, and have some fond memories. Don't buy them as a daily lunch and you'll be fine.
Or if you have the inclination you can learn from the Japanese moms and make some really cool bento boxes for lunch!-COLLAPSE
@mamguru - well said! im sorry for hectic parents, but if youre buying a box full of plastics and processed ingredients just because you kids think its cool, then the Terrorists Have Already Won.
man up. give him a sammich and explain thats lunch and why, and that if he stops complaining and is good for the week youll take him to his favorite local restaurant of choice.
sometimes being good to...+READ
@mamguru - well said! im sorry for hectic parents, but if youre buying a box full of plastics and processed ingredients just because you kids think its cool, then the Terrorists Have Already Won.
man up. give him a sammich and explain thats lunch and why, and that if he stops complaining and is good for the week youll take him to his favorite local restaurant of choice.
sometimes being good to the earth (and our bodies) means making hard choices. but cheer up: its not like we're in afghanistan deciding which child gets to eat.-COLLAPSE
Creativity is always the best solution when you need to balance your kid's desire for coolness with important life values. Making your own nutritious lunch, but packaging it in a cool, reusable bento box-style container decked out in stickers or whatever design your kids like will work. This compromise, plus an explanation in health and global citizenship is in order. Tossing aside key values...+READ
Creativity is always the best solution when you need to balance your kid's desire for coolness with important life values. Making your own nutritious lunch, but packaging it in a cool, reusable bento box-style container decked out in stickers or whatever design your kids like will work. This compromise, plus an explanation in health and global citizenship is in order. Tossing aside key values like being non-wasteful and healthy is an unfortunate cop out. Treat this as an opportunity to educate your kids, while not disregarding their ideas.-COLLAPSE
I have a 7 year old and if you asked me two months ago if I would ever buy him a Lunchable I would have said no way. He's taking his lunch to camp every day this summer, and he has been begging for Lunchables like some of hte other kids have. I read the ingredients. They aren't great, but once every week or two won't kill him. Until you have a kid in the target age range you don't get to judge. I...+READ
I have a 7 year old and if you asked me two months ago if I would ever buy him a Lunchable I would have said no way. He's taking his lunch to camp every day this summer, and he has been begging for Lunchables like some of hte other kids have. I read the ingredients. They aren't great, but once every week or two won't kill him. Until you have a kid in the target age range you don't get to judge. I know there are some parents who wouldn't give in, but I've mellowed out quite a bit in the past 7 years as a parent. If you don't you'll go crazy.-COLLAPSE
@snix You said exactly what I had intended to say. My daughter is also six, and she loves getting a Lunchable about once every two weeks. Other days I make her a sandwich, salad, etc., and she is always good about eating healthy. But sometimes she wants something "cool" and thinks Lunchables are pretty awesome. As long as she prefers a green apple to a piece of cake, I won't complain.
I'm...+READ
@snix You said exactly what I had intended to say. My daughter is also six, and she loves getting a Lunchable about once every two weeks. Other days I make her a sandwich, salad, etc., and she is always good about eating healthy. But sometimes she wants something "cool" and thinks Lunchables are pretty awesome. As long as she prefers a green apple to a piece of cake, I won't complain.
I'm bothered by all these commenters who are so eager to attack parents like me. Why do you assume that purchasing one of these lunches automatically equals laziness? And why the tutorials on how to make a kid's chicken sandwich? You're on Chow, guys-- you are essentially preaching to the choir. Every day of the week I'm working on homemade meals from scratch and packing healthy lunches for the three of us, in addition to a 3rd-shift job and school and an internship. I'm a strict parent, but I'm not trying to be militant-- if the girl wants a Lunchable (or the beef ravioli with garden salad in the cafeteria) every once in a while, that doesn't make me a bad parent. Or an irresponsible one.-COLLAPSE
My cousin's wife is a cafeteria manager for an elementary school. A few years ago I asked her what kind of food the kids liked best, because it's been a long time since my school days. She told me they liked "Lunchables." I'd never heard of them and didn't know they were a commercial product; I thought it was something they'd made up there at the school to encourage the kids to eat nutritious...+READ
My cousin's wife is a cafeteria manager for an elementary school. A few years ago I asked her what kind of food the kids liked best, because it's been a long time since my school days. She told me they liked "Lunchables." I'd never heard of them and didn't know they were a commercial product; I thought it was something they'd made up there at the school to encourage the kids to eat nutritious sandwiches. I was astonished to hear that an entire school system was buying lunches from Oscar Meyer instead of making them. Because it was cheaper? Because the kids would eat them, but they wouldn't eat food made in the school kitchens? Because the budget wouldn't allow for people to actually make lunch? I don't know. But that's how I learned what a Lunchable was.-COLLAPSE
how long does it take to make a little sandwich for your kid? What are all these parents so busy doing that they can't buy a bag of sliced bread and save some leftover chicken (or even use that rotisserie stuff you can buy pre-made at the store). Shame on parents (I know this sounds harsh) for giving their kids crap then wondering why the kids can't focus or why they are fat. How about teaching...+READ
how long does it take to make a little sandwich for your kid? What are all these parents so busy doing that they can't buy a bag of sliced bread and save some leftover chicken (or even use that rotisserie stuff you can buy pre-made at the store). Shame on parents (I know this sounds harsh) for giving their kids crap then wondering why the kids can't focus or why they are fat. How about teaching the kids to make a sandwich for themselves? When I was four I could make my own sandwich. Teach kids responsibility and stewardship of the earth by not giving them this stuff that ends up forever in landfills. If time is money what is your child's life and health worth? With the time savings of lunchables are you wisely using that time you have saved by not making that sandwich?-COLLAPSE
I used to eat Lunchables once in awhile when I was younger. I actually purchased one the other day for nostalgic purposes. Maybe it's because I have a more refined taste now, or maybe it's because the ingredients aren't as quality as they used to be, but it didn't taste as good as I remembered it to be. However, I'll still think of Lunchables as a comfort food. I agree with the people who say...+READ
I used to eat Lunchables once in awhile when I was younger. I actually purchased one the other day for nostalgic purposes. Maybe it's because I have a more refined taste now, or maybe it's because the ingredients aren't as quality as they used to be, but it didn't taste as good as I remembered it to be. However, I'll still think of Lunchables as a comfort food. I agree with the people who say that kids deserve fun food once in awhile. If a parent gives their child Lunchables every day, then that would be a problem, but I don't see harm in it on occasion.-COLLAPSE
So let me get this straight. Norton says the cheese is "devoid" of flavor and that there are "no real surprises flavor-wise." Yet he rates the taste as three stars, which is above average on a five-star scale. That makes no sense. Also, as for some of the reviewers who think their kids won't or don't eat Lunchables or something similar - you're fooling yourselfs. I bet you think your kids don't...+READ
So let me get this straight. Norton says the cheese is "devoid" of flavor and that there are "no real surprises flavor-wise." Yet he rates the taste as three stars, which is above average on a five-star scale. That makes no sense. Also, as for some of the reviewers who think their kids won't or don't eat Lunchables or something similar - you're fooling yourselfs. I bet you think your kids don't eat candy and drink sodas without your permission either.-COLLAPSE
I smiled when I read jadore's post, this is exactly what I would have said before I had children. However, I think the real problem lies with the parents who are too "busy"...as a teacher I see kids eat these things and worse on a daily basis. A Lunchable, Happy Meal or whatever occasionally will not ruin a child, especially one who is blessed with parents who will provide them with wholesome...+READ
I smiled when I read jadore's post, this is exactly what I would have said before I had children. However, I think the real problem lies with the parents who are too "busy"...as a teacher I see kids eat these things and worse on a daily basis. A Lunchable, Happy Meal or whatever occasionally will not ruin a child, especially one who is blessed with parents who will provide them with wholesome foods the majority of the time. Parents just have to be responsible enough guide their kids and expose them to a wide variety of foods... and then pray it sticks.-COLLAPSE
"I have a difficult time understanding what's so flippin hard about putting together essentially the same lunch at home?"
You're missing the point of this product. It's not targeted at parents to save them time, it's targeted at children as "fun" and after watching the TV commercials and seeing some classmates eat the product, the children beg their parents for it.
All I know is, my future kids won't eat this stuff. As mamachef said, why can't I pull together the same exact meal at home? It would take merely minutes to create some healthy, fresh wraps and pack them up properly. Sheesh.
I don't remember Lunchables as a child, however that is not something my mother would have purchased...she would have considered them a colossal waste of money. My son, who is 6, is allowed one every Friday for lunch during the school year. He normally eats most of it, I have tasted them and they have a bland over processed taste. As a family we try to avoid waste in any fashion, whether through...+READ
I don't remember Lunchables as a child, however that is not something my mother would have purchased...she would have considered them a colossal waste of money. My son, who is 6, is allowed one every Friday for lunch during the school year. He normally eats most of it, I have tasted them and they have a bland over processed taste. As a family we try to avoid waste in any fashion, whether through money or over packaged, processed foods. We normally eat healthy real foods, which my kids enjoy. However, as a mother I have to say most kids I know do like the "coolness" of the little Lunchable, I could create the same meal more cheaply and using more quality ingredients... but my child would not be as excited about it. I feel it is my responsibilty as his parent to oversee what he is eating, and although the Lunchables are not "good wholesome" foods... a child deserves fun things to eat sometimes.-COLLAPSE
I have a difficult time understanding what's so flippin hard about putting together essentially the same lunch at home? Roasted chicken on a wheat bun w/ a slice of decent, real cheese, wrapped in waxed paper and packed up with similarly-wrapped accoutrement? An old-fashioned thermos? C'mon people; we are addicted to such a high level of stress and time-consumption that we tell ourselves we don't...+READ
I have a difficult time understanding what's so flippin hard about putting together essentially the same lunch at home? Roasted chicken on a wheat bun w/ a slice of decent, real cheese, wrapped in waxed paper and packed up with similarly-wrapped accoutrement? An old-fashioned thermos? C'mon people; we are addicted to such a high level of stress and time-consumption that we tell ourselves we don't have time to eat anymore, and it's taking a toll on our families, our health, and our planet.-COLLAPSE