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Dear Helena,
I was at brunch the other day with a group when a friend of a friend arrived, sporting her tea cup–sized puppy, which she proceeded to hold in her lap for the entirety of the meal. The dog was peering out of her lap at her plate, and she was feeding it ice cubes out of her hand while I was trying to enjoy my stack of pancakes. While I’ve dined in many an establishment where dogs are allowed to sit on the floor next to their owners, this seemed to take it too far. Am I being picky, or do I have the right to dine without having to stare into the muzzle of a pooch?
—Dogs Are Not People
Dear Dogs Are Not People,
It’s illegal to bring your dog inside a restaurant (unless it’s a service dog), but in some states, such as Florida, the law explicitly states you can bring your dog to a restaurant’s outdoor seating area. In other states, this may not be technically legal, but many restaurants turn a blind eye if patrons choose to dine with their dogs.
Bringing your dog is like bringing your kid. It’s common practice, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s OK. People let their offspring—and pets—rage out of control and then assume you’ll find this just as adorable as they do. Shawn Magee, owner of Amnesia bar in San Francisco, was at a coffeehouse when a dog nipped his two-year-old daughter. She burst into tears. The owner apologized, but in a disconcertingly nonchalant fashion, remarking that her dog was “not usually” a nipper.
I’m not saying people should never bring a four-legged friend. But the guidelines below will help keep owners in the good graces of their fellow diners.
Leave barkers and lickers at home. Whether or not a dog is an appropriate brunch companion depends more on its behavior than on its size, says dog trainer Sheryl Matthys, founder of Leashes and Lovers. A docile greyhound might be fine; a Shih Tzu with an ear-splitting bark or flatulence issues won’t endear you to anyone.
Prep your pup for the outing. To make doubly sure your dog will be demure, walk and feed it before going out to eat. “This way your dog is content and may even fall asleep while you dine,” says Matthys.
Leash with care. Most likely, the only place to leash a dog will be to a table or chair leg. That’s fine, if you exercise caution. Marcia Gagliardi, creator of the restaurant newsletter Tablehopper, once observed this going horribly wrong. “The owner had tied the dog to the table, but it was a really light aluminum café table, so when the owner went to the restroom, the dog yanked the table across the patio.”
Put your dog under the table. Apart from Great Danes, most dogs will fit under the table in front of the owner’s chair. According to Matthys, “They’re not going to get kicked, stepped on, or tripped over there, and it also helps them feel more secure, especially if they’re physically touching you.” Owners shouldn’t keep a pet in their lap, for the simple reason that most owners—like your friend’s friend—then won’t be able to follow the rule below.
Ignore the dog. Owners should not pet, feed, or spout baby talk to their dog in the restaurant. Fawning over the animal draws attention to it and makes it harder for the restaurant to overlook the dog’s presence if it’s technically illegal. But the biggest reason to ignore your dog at the table is that lavishing too much attention on it is rude to your companions. Gagliardi recalls, “I once ate with a friend who spent half the meal talking to her animal. It was like, ‘Biscuit, stop sniffing! Biscuit, stop begging!’ But I didn’t sign up to eat with the dog.”
Dogs have no business in a restaurant unless they are service animals. Period. How is this even up for discussion?! Gross.
I'm actually afraid of dogs, especially larger ones. If I even see a dog, it pretty much ruins my meal. If it's behaving and just being calm, I can try and ignore it. But the second it barks, I'm complaining to a server. I know I can't go through life without ever running into a pooch, but there are places such as restaurant dining rooms where I like to be assured that I won't see a dog.
Ajs, it seems you may need to read up a little on the laws. In a lot of places, it's perfectly legal to bring a dog to an outdoor patio.
And yes, I have left my expensive meal to take a misbehaving dog home (and this was at a restaurant with a specific "pooch patio" and a menu for dogs, so dogs were obviously welcome there).
Personally, I couldn't care less if a dog was at a restaurant unless it was trying to bite me, barking frequently or jumped on me while I was eating. That's just my opinion, but considering that opinions vary I would say it's best to leave them at home.
People don't have to be with their dogs 24/7. Even if your dog is well behaved, exactly what constitutes good behavior? Is it one bark? Two barks? Only begs for food a little? Will an owner of an unruly dog leave his $75 meal to take the dog home? I doubt it. Any dog owner that takes his dog to a restaurant is selfish and inconsiderate at well as a law breaker. People should not have to eat near...+READ
People don't have to be with their dogs 24/7. Even if your dog is well behaved, exactly what constitutes good behavior? Is it one bark? Two barks? Only begs for food a little? Will an owner of an unruly dog leave his $75 meal to take the dog home? I doubt it. Any dog owner that takes his dog to a restaurant is selfish and inconsiderate at well as a law breaker. People should not have to eat near a dog if they don't want to, period!!!!!! There is no reason to have to take a dog to a restaurant. You have the rest of the day to enjoy your dog.-COLLAPSE
Guess I'm one of those whackadoodles. I do bring my dog to a restaurant occasionally. It's a good walk for both of us to and from the bistro.
He sleeps on my lap under the napkin and most people don't even notice him. When it's time to leave on goes the leash and off we go.
I would guess that there are other people who do the same that have not caught your attention. So - before you condemn...+READ
Guess I'm one of those whackadoodles. I do bring my dog to a restaurant occasionally. It's a good walk for both of us to and from the bistro.
He sleeps on my lap under the napkin and most people don't even notice him. When it's time to leave on goes the leash and off we go.
I would guess that there are other people who do the same that have not caught your attention. So - before you condemn this behavior please consider that some people actually have well behaved dogs that can be a pleasure without bother.-COLLAPSE
For a moment, I thought the article meant dining with dogs metaphorically.
"Bringing your dog is like bringing your kid, it's common practice, but that doesn't mean it's OK?"
Are you serious? Are you equating a human child with a dog? (Many people love their pets as children but that's not the same thing.)
How dare you?
"Kids" can range in age (with corresponding behaviors) from 0 to 18. Don't make such sweeping statements.
It is not only appropriate, but the...+READ
"Bringing your dog is like bringing your kid, it's common practice, but that doesn't mean it's OK?"
Are you serious? Are you equating a human child with a dog? (Many people love their pets as children but that's not the same thing.)
How dare you?
"Kids" can range in age (with corresponding behaviors) from 0 to 18. Don't make such sweeping statements.
It is not only appropriate, but the right thing to do, to gradually bring children to restaurants, to socialize the next generation of diners.
You think that otherwise children will magically come to know about good food and appropriate manners? If you segregate them at home, you have a nation of adults who have the food tastes and company manners of toddlers, and then everyone from Jamie Oliver to Alice Waters to the Surgeon General are running around trying to change their food habits, and restaurats other than McD will lose their base of diners. Educating and socializing a child takes repeated exposure and multiple settings, not just school and home.
Children and their parents are paying customers too and have corresponding rights. And children are not the only ones with bad manners - drunks, cell phone loudmouths, people who are arrogant with staff, etc. are all adults. Compared to these, many children are angels.
Re dogs, as long as your pooch is well behaved and preferably in an outside area, and doesn't directly impinge on me, why not? Bring your iguana too. People (and not the ones with allergies or other legitimate complaints) are so tight and narrow.
I am very capable of enjoying the company of my friends and relatives, and of minding my own business, and my relaxation is not affected by other diners.-COLLAPSE
I totally agree with galewskj. If the "proper" way to treat your dog is to basically ignore it, why bring it at all?
That said, I don't get why these whackadoodles need to bring their dogs to dinner in the first place. It's an animal, for cripes sakes. It has no business near me and my food.
If you follow those rules, what is the point of bringing the dog at all? They'll be ignored under the table. I'm not a fan of kids at restaurants, and even less so of dogs. I just don't see the point.
I am a avid dog lover but I don't think they belong in a restaurant. When I am eating out it is a time of relaxation and time to enjoy the company of my husband and friends. Having your dog there kinda takes that away.
Maureen
I'll leave my pup at home (whom has impeccable table manners) if you'll leave the infants with colic and the little snowflakes that have absouletely no manners at home ? Do we have a deal ??
Mountain, I am so happy to live in a city where smoking is not permitted anywhere in a restaurant, even on a patio. It is annoying to get the whiff of smoke when you step out the front door, but I love being able to sit on a patio and not have to worry about being bothered by smoke. My home state has this same law (there the law is based on protecting workers from smoke; I guess the theory is...+READ
Mountain, I am so happy to live in a city where smoking is not permitted anywhere in a restaurant, even on a patio. It is annoying to get the whiff of smoke when you step out the front door, but I love being able to sit on a patio and not have to worry about being bothered by smoke. My home state has this same law (there the law is based on protecting workers from smoke; I guess the theory is that servers still have to come to the patio). Anyway, I'm grateful for it!
Sorry for the off-topic remark, but I just wanted to agree that cigarette smoke would deter me from sitting outside, if that were an issue.-COLLAPSE
Broad sweeping generalizations about children or really any group is just wrong-headed. There are ill-behaved children and ill-behaved adults. I'll take a tired 3 year old over a boozy loud close-talking drunk any day.
On the subject of dogs:Outdoor patios maybe, provided there's room and they're not table surfers. If you allow dogs in restaurants who is going to enforce the restrictions on...+READ
Broad sweeping generalizations about children or really any group is just wrong-headed. There are ill-behaved children and ill-behaved adults. I'll take a tired 3 year old over a boozy loud close-talking drunk any day.
On the subject of dogs:Outdoor patios maybe, provided there's room and they're not table surfers. If you allow dogs in restaurants who is going to enforce the restrictions on size? behaviors? Is the quiet lab not allowed because he's too big but the yappy yorkie that runs loose/pees on the table leg is? Putting myself in the shoes of front of house staff: I wouldn't want to be the one to have to say no to an owner.-COLLAPSE
I know this is a subject that has been flogged to death on this site, but I take issue with the statement "People let their offspring-and pets-rage out of control", as if this is universally true. I don't like having my dinner ruined by anyone out of control, be it pets, children, or someone who has had too much to drink. However, there are children who do behave in restaurants and are learning...+READ
I know this is a subject that has been flogged to death on this site, but I take issue with the statement "People let their offspring-and pets-rage out of control", as if this is universally true. I don't like having my dinner ruined by anyone out of control, be it pets, children, or someone who has had too much to drink. However, there are children who do behave in restaurants and are learning valuable skills by being there.
As for dogs, if they are sitting quietly near their owner in an outdoor area, I have no issue with that. My bigger issue with outdoor seating is that it's now where all the smokers hang out, which I find much more bothersome than dog dander (and, yes, I am allergic to dogs).-COLLAPSE
Tata, you're right, it really comes down to how each individual dog owner (and each individual dog) behaves.
Queen, of course it's rude to bring dogs in restaurants where they're not allowed! I assumed that went without saying, so I figured the comments and the article itself were about the proper way to behave with your dog in a restaurant where dogs are permitted.
As far as the likelihood of...+READ
Tata, you're right, it really comes down to how each individual dog owner (and each individual dog) behaves.
Queen, of course it's rude to bring dogs in restaurants where they're not allowed! I assumed that went without saying, so I figured the comments and the article itself were about the proper way to behave with your dog in a restaurant where dogs are permitted.
As far as the likelihood of seeing service dogs, maybe it's because I'm in a large city with abundant public transportation options, but I see at least one a day, usually more.
Vorpal, I didn't "dismiss the whole allergy affair simply by mentioning that service dogs might be present," I actually mentioned fragrance allergies and the fact that, just as it would be selfish for me to ask others never to wear perfume because I'm allergic, it would also be selfish to ask others not to bring dogs to areas where they are permitted just because one is allergic. I see you've chosen to ignore that point, which I've made several times now.-COLLAPSE
Agreed with queencru: the chances of running into a service dog are very low, and there's a huge difference vis-a-vis allergies between a restaurant that may play host to a few service dogs a month and one that has dogs as regular patrons. In the first case, an allergy sufferer may be perfectly fine, but in the second, the allergens will likely be deeply embedded into things and unavoidable;...+READ
Agreed with queencru: the chances of running into a service dog are very low, and there's a huge difference vis-a-vis allergies between a restaurant that may play host to a few service dogs a month and one that has dogs as regular patrons. In the first case, an allergy sufferer may be perfectly fine, but in the second, the allergens will likely be deeply embedded into things and unavoidable; thus, it is not fair to dismiss the whole allergy affair simply by mentioning that service dogs might be present.-COLLAPSE
lilikimbo- I actually have no problem with people bringing their dogs to patios or other outdoor eating situations. I live in Florida where that is typically allowed in many places that get a lot of walking traffic. What annoys me is Helena's suggestion that it's okay to bring a dog inside a restaurant where there is a no-dog policy as long as he's kept under the seat or in some sort of carrier...+READ
lilikimbo- I actually have no problem with people bringing their dogs to patios or other outdoor eating situations. I live in Florida where that is typically allowed in many places that get a lot of walking traffic. What annoys me is Helena's suggestion that it's okay to bring a dog inside a restaurant where there is a no-dog policy as long as he's kept under the seat or in some sort of carrier the whole time.
Yes, there is a possibility that someone might bring a service dog into the restaurant, but that's really uncommon in the overall scheme of things. When a person plans to go to a place that is not supposed to allow dogs, he should be able to assume that there's a 99% chance that there will be no dogs in the restaurant.-COLLAPSE
To be clear, I wasn't assuming that everyone who takes dogs to patios has exhibitionistic tendencies or pathological dependency issues. I was implying that dog owners should be clear before they bring their pups as to whether it's the best choice for all involved (them, their dogs, other patrons); if they can answer vorpal's questions (and mine) with a clear conscience and they know their dogs...+READ
To be clear, I wasn't assuming that everyone who takes dogs to patios has exhibitionistic tendencies or pathological dependency issues. I was implying that dog owners should be clear before they bring their pups as to whether it's the best choice for all involved (them, their dogs, other patrons); if they can answer vorpal's questions (and mine) with a clear conscience and they know their dogs are well-behaved and won't bother anyone, great. It sounds like that's the case with you. Again, I much prefer dogs to kids.
As usual with this column, I think it's a question of balancing rights with responsibilities and one's own desires/needs with concern for others. If one is capable of that much, one's in good stead.-COLLAPSE
lilkimbo, I agree 100% with your comments. I too leave my dog at home while I'm at work, so I like to take her out with me as much as possible. I live in a very dog-friendly city, with a lot of outdoor restaurant options that allow dogs. Patrons are generally happy to see, pet, and ask you questions about your dog.
My dog is barely over a year, so she's not calm or well-behaved enough yet for...+READ
lilkimbo, I agree 100% with your comments. I too leave my dog at home while I'm at work, so I like to take her out with me as much as possible. I live in a very dog-friendly city, with a lot of outdoor restaurant options that allow dogs. Patrons are generally happy to see, pet, and ask you questions about your dog.
My dog is barely over a year, so she's not calm or well-behaved enough yet for my husband and me to enjoy a leisurely meal out with her. If she starts acting annoying, we leave. I think it's the same principle as with kids: dogs can be appropriate and enjoyable dining companions, but it's the owner/parent's responsiblity to see that he/she behaves. If not, continue to train the dog to sit quietly, not steal food or lick other patrons, not nip at kids, and just generally behave.
Contrary to what other posters have claimed, most people don't bring their dogs with them places to show them off or pathological attachment. They bring them because they enjoy having them around and it's their responsibility as dog-owners to ensure that they have an active, interesting, stimulating life.
And to the poster who said that he/she is attached to their cats but doesn't bring them places...that's just silly. Cats generally, especially indoor cats, prefer to stay where they're comfortable and not be taken to public places. I have a cat and a dog, and the cat is perfectly happy to wait at home while we take the dog out for a jaunt.-COLLAPSE
Oh, and to address vorpal's point about bringing his ball python to a restaurant, as long as he can insure it will be well-behaved, I say, if he knows a restaurant that allows them, go for it. Although, I do suspect it would be more difficult to find a restaurant that would allow a snake, even on a patio, then to find a restaurant with a pooch patio.
Tata, it's not about need, it's about desire. I want to take my dog for a walk and stop somewhere, sit on the patio, and grab a bite to eat on the way back. Why should I have to walk the extra mile home and then walk or take the bus or metro all the way back to the restaurant? That would just be silly. To just assume that people who have dogs with them at restaurants have them simply to "show...+READ
Tata, it's not about need, it's about desire. I want to take my dog for a walk and stop somewhere, sit on the patio, and grab a bite to eat on the way back. Why should I have to walk the extra mile home and then walk or take the bus or metro all the way back to the restaurant? That would just be silly. To just assume that people who have dogs with them at restaurants have them simply to "show them off" if silly and presumptuous.
The only question I see from vorpal is whether you have to dog with you for yourself or the dog, and for most people, I'm sure it's both. Dogs are inherently social and would rather be with people (or at least with other dogs) than be alone. So, people like being with dogs and dogs like being with people. You're doing it both for yourself and the dog.
As far as vorpal's point that it's selfish because people have allergies, I responded to that in my previous post; everyone can't be expected to change their behavior because some people have allergies. Additionally, I would say that wearing perfume is worse than bringing a dog to a restaurant patio because if you have severe allergies to dogs, you can simply avoid restaurants that you know allow them and hope you don't run into anyone with a service animal at another restaurant. People with perfume and cologne can't be avoided because almost everyone at least uses scented lotion or body wash. Again, though, I don't expect people not to just because I'm allergic. To me, that attitude is more selfish.
And, if you're referring to vorpal's claim that bringing your dog with you shows a scary level of dependence, I'll state again, it's not a need to bring a dog with you, it's a desire. I leave my dog alone every day when I go to work; I don't need to always have him with me, but I like to have him with me when I can.-COLLAPSE
lilkimbo—I love my cats dearly, but I don't feel the need to take them with me everywhere I go, so I still don't quite get it. Not that it matters whether I get it or not; besides, I personally infinitely prefer dogs to kids in restaurants. But I think vorpal's questions are good and fair ones; if a person can answer them satisfactorily, great.
Oops, I meant you don't notice the responsible ones as much.
Tata, when I bring my dog with me to restaurants, coffee shops, etc., it's not for any of those reasons. It's because I like spending time with him. Imagine that! Additionally, living in a city, I walk or take public transportation everywhere, so it would be silly for me to be out with my dog and make the trek home and then back out to grab a sandwich or a cup of coffee. That being said, I only...+READ
Tata, when I bring my dog with me to restaurants, coffee shops, etc., it's not for any of those reasons. It's because I like spending time with him. Imagine that! Additionally, living in a city, I walk or take public transportation everywhere, so it would be silly for me to be out with my dog and make the trek home and then back out to grab a sandwich or a cup of coffee. That being said, I only bring him to places that I am certain allow dogs on their outside patios. Additionally, I rarely bring him with me when I'm eating with other people. There are two friends of mine who love him and actually often request that I bring him, and those are the only times I bring him with me.
Sierra, I understand that many times it can seem like most dog owners are irresponsible, but I think that's simply because you (the general you) don't notice the irresponsible ones as much. You'll notice dog waste that's not picked up, but if it's picked up, you obviously won't see it. You'll notice a dog that's barking all of the time, but if it's quiet, you may not even know it's there. I could also say that most parents are irresponsible because I see kids that are misbehaved all of the time, but I know it's not true. It's just that the poorly behaved kids stick out more.
Queen, while I understand your point about allergies, I think they are just something people have to live with. There is always a chance that there will be a service dog when you are out, so those with allergies need to plan accordingly. Before I'm accused of being horribly insensitive, I should point out that I have horrible allergies to about 95% of perfumes and colognes; I deal with it by always having nasal spray, allergy medication, and painkillers (for the bad headaches fragrances give me). I don't expect people to never wear perfume because I'm allergic to it.-COLLAPSE
"Most dog owners are irresponsible anyway..... " Sierra, you're going to catch hell for that blanket statement.
That said, like vorpal, I can't fathom why people feel the need to bring their dogs to restaurants in the first place, and asking themselves that key question before they do so might yield some interesting answers. What's with the need to show them off? Are you using them as props for...+READ
"Most dog owners are irresponsible anyway..... " Sierra, you're going to catch hell for that blanket statement.
That said, like vorpal, I can't fathom why people feel the need to bring their dogs to restaurants in the first place, and asking themselves that key question before they do so might yield some interesting answers. What's with the need to show them off? Are you using them as props for socializing with or picking up other dog lovers? Conversely are they buffers for fully engaging with other humans, etc.?-COLLAPSE
I am a grandmother to a couple of four-legged "grandchildren" and as much as I adore them, they do NOT belong in certain public places or areas. I was never very comfortable around dogs before these pets became a part of my grown children's lives, and therefore mine. I have friends who have the smelliest dogs, their homes are horribly stinky, and I prefer not to dine near a smelly dog or person...+READ
I am a grandmother to a couple of four-legged "grandchildren" and as much as I adore them, they do NOT belong in certain public places or areas. I was never very comfortable around dogs before these pets became a part of my grown children's lives, and therefore mine. I have friends who have the smelliest dogs, their homes are horribly stinky, and I prefer not to dine near a smelly dog or person for that matter. A elderly friend was bitten on the ankle and leg by a neighbors dog (unleashed). He filed a lawsuit, won, collected on the judgement. Most dog owners are irresponsible anyway..... my nice neighborhood has become inundated with dog waste coming from the 'yuppies' that have moved into the new, upscale apartment buildings in Miracle Mile area here. Yeah, it's not the dogs fault, its the stupid immature owner it belongs to.-COLLAPSE
decyclingchic- The key difference between children and dogs is that some people are allergic to dogs. They shouldn't be forced to put up with an allergic reaction because a dog owner decided to bring his/her dog into a restaurant with a no-dog policy. This allergy will persist no matter how well behaved your dog is.
decyclingchic: If you insist on bringing your dog on a trip with you, though, you've made a decision that will impose certain limitations on you. For example, I wouldn't expect to go on a trip with children and then be able to go on a foodie tour of upscale restaurants; by deciding to bring kids with me, I've sacrificed that privilege, and if that privilege was that important to me, I would have...+READ
decyclingchic: If you insist on bringing your dog on a trip with you, though, you've made a decision that will impose certain limitations on you. For example, I wouldn't expect to go on a trip with children and then be able to go on a foodie tour of upscale restaurants; by deciding to bring kids with me, I've sacrificed that privilege, and if that privilege was that important to me, I would have found alternative arrangements for the kids.
It's the same with dogs: by bringing your dog with you, you're effectively limiting what you can and cannot do.
I agree with your sensitivity about dog people. My husband insists on allowing the dog in the room with us when we have company over. (He's a needy dog, and he always, always wants to be with people - he never opts to be by himself, given the chocie.) That's all fine and well if they're dog people, but if they're not, I insist that he leaves the room. I also don't doubt that your dogs are better behaved than most people's kids :D, but still, a kid is more likely to get more out of a restaurant experience than your dog (a meal, exposure to etiquette, etc).-COLLAPSE
In restaurants, like children, dogs should be neither seen nor heard.
I suggest only bring your dog if your dining with dog people. Also, realize that some people have no choice when travelling with a dog.. You can't always safely leave your pet in the car. Most hotels and campsites do not allow you to leave the dog in the room unattended. I personally have had so many dinners ruined by people's screaming kids that I expect the same tollerance from them with my...+READ
I suggest only bring your dog if your dining with dog people. Also, realize that some people have no choice when travelling with a dog.. You can't always safely leave your pet in the car. Most hotels and campsites do not allow you to leave the dog in the room unattended. I personally have had so many dinners ruined by people's screaming kids that I expect the same tollerance from them with my dogs. My dogs are better trained and quieter than their children!-COLLAPSE
Two of my favorite bars, one in NOLA, one in Baltimore, endeared themselves to me because they are dog friendly. A bistro or upscale dining room may not be right for a four-footed companion, but they should be welcome almost anywhere else. (as long as they behave well)
Better advice: leave the dog at home.
What this column lacks is Helena's continued perspective during the topic. We never know what she means; we continue to assume. Some followup comments from Helena would be far more engaging. The whole "Dear Abby for CH's" has gotten stale. What's the point of an interactive byline with no interaction from the columnist?
Puhleeeze --- a greyhound can be almost as big as a Great Dane. I had one. Yes, she was gentle, but she couldn't fit under the table, so size does matter here. And my Shih Tzus tend to be so quiet that no one would even notice that the purse I am carrying is actually a dog carrier. Your point about behavior is taken, but you really shouldn't plan on bringing a large dog to a restaurant no matter...+READ
Puhleeeze --- a greyhound can be almost as big as a Great Dane. I had one. Yes, she was gentle, but she couldn't fit under the table, so size does matter here. And my Shih Tzus tend to be so quiet that no one would even notice that the purse I am carrying is actually a dog carrier. Your point about behavior is taken, but you really shouldn't plan on bringing a large dog to a restaurant no matter how well behaved. Maybe a patio at a beach, but that is about it. That is why I feel compelled to comment on your examples.
If your dog is a beggar, barker, jumper or licker, you should not bring it with you, at any size. If you have to, that is why they have invented those adorable little carriers. If you MUST have a meal with your dog, you should really sit well away from everyone else unless it is in the habit of snoozing in its carrier under the table. Restraining your dog is for its own safety and for everyone else's. Even nice dogs have been known to nip at small children, who may not know how to handle them, and may make the dog feel threatened. Perhaps the greatest danger is that they may get under a server's feet -- that could cause a bad burn, cuts or worse.
I say small dogs only in a carrier or purse, or just don't do it and get your food to go. It is not the end of the world if you have to eat your meal in your car on paper and plastic, or camp out on a bench in a nearby park for an impromptu picnic. Nothing I haven't done before. Unless you are planning to do this every night, it is not a big deal to make a sacrifice just once.-COLLAPSE
nicolson: Helena never denied that there are differences, nor do I believe that she was implying that the two are one and the same. She simply made the statement because you can draw some similarities between the two - which she proceeded to do in the next two sentences: "It’s common practice, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s OK. People let their offspring—and pets—rage out of control and...+READ
nicolson: Helena never denied that there are differences, nor do I believe that she was implying that the two are one and the same. She simply made the statement because you can draw some similarities between the two - which she proceeded to do in the next two sentences: "It’s common practice, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s OK. People let their offspring—and pets—rage out of control and then assume you’ll find this just as adorable as they do.". Of course there are huge differences between children and pets in a public space and nowhere did Helena fail to acknowledge this; the comparison between the two ends with her exploration of the idea, namely after those two sentences. She doesn't mention children again because this post has little to do with kids.-COLLAPSE
"Bringing your dog is like bringing your kid." I appreciate this post, but honestly, no. I understand how amusing (and common) it is to make the comparison, but there are real differences: I'm not afraid of being bitten by a random child in a public place. I'm not afraid of my allergies kicking in due to the presence of children. Unless they are service animals, dogs and other pets should be left...+READ
"Bringing your dog is like bringing your kid." I appreciate this post, but honestly, no. I understand how amusing (and common) it is to make the comparison, but there are real differences: I'm not afraid of being bitten by a random child in a public place. I'm not afraid of my allergies kicking in due to the presence of children. Unless they are service animals, dogs and other pets should be left *outside* or at home, full stop. Children, meanwhile, are being taught to be social when they are in a restaurant, and (hopefully) being taught manners that go along with that. When they are raising a ruckus, they need to be hushed, and if the situation warrants, removed. But please, spare me the "kids and dogs are the same" line.-COLLAPSE
Alex: I don't think the OP knew of her friend's obnoxious habit prior to this encounter, so she can hardly be blamed for choosing the wrong friends; she had no idea her friend engaged in this type of behaviour. Furthermore, I believe her approach (she felt unsure as to whether or not she was justified in responding, so she held her tongue and asked for advice) was appropriate given the...+READ
Alex: I don't think the OP knew of her friend's obnoxious habit prior to this encounter, so she can hardly be blamed for choosing the wrong friends; she had no idea her friend engaged in this type of behaviour. Furthermore, I believe her approach (she felt unsure as to whether or not she was justified in responding, so she held her tongue and asked for advice) was appropriate given the circumstances. Can you please elaborate as to why you believe that she is demonstrating some kind of social shortcoming?-COLLAPSE
I fully appreciate your predicament. I have had issues with friends and their dogs while dining in the past, and it can be an incredibly irritating situation. I had a friend back in high school whose family insisted on having their miniature schnauzer in the dining room with them while they ate, and it would run from diner to diner, barking as loudly as it could, demanding scraps. It was quite...+READ
I fully appreciate your predicament. I have had issues with friends and their dogs while dining in the past, and it can be an incredibly irritating situation. I had a friend back in high school whose family insisted on having their miniature schnauzer in the dining room with them while they ate, and it would run from diner to diner, barking as loudly as it could, demanding scraps. It was quite impossible to have a conversation over the incessant yapping, and yet the family found it utterly charming and adorable. I don't think anyone else ever did, and they wondered why so few people wanted to eat at their house (a shame, since the mother was an excellent cook: it's no wonder that stupid dog was so insistent on getting his mouth on that food). It's so difficult to ascertain whether or not it's appropriate to say anything because people who behave in this fashion are generally so enamoured of their pooches that to do so would be akin to calling someone's parenting skills into question.
I have no trouble admitting that my dog is really annoying - he's hyperactive, a bit whiny, insecure (he was the runt and the other dogs picked on him incessantly when he was a pup, apparently), and a licker. He's very obedient, but just all around irritating and a bit of an embarrassment when guests are over. (He's my husband's dog, really: I'm a cat person and have no interest in dogs.) He knows that he's not allowed in the dining room or living room (wherever we are eating) during mealtimes and he's quite well behaved about it. I can't imagine bringing him to a restaurant: even if he was a perfect angel, I fail to see the point in doing so. Indeed, I think it's somewhat selfish to bring a dog to an eating establishment for several reasons:
1. Who are you doing it for? Yourself or the dog? I doubt that the dog is really enjoying itself there, and is more likely than anything bored or being unnecessarily teased by the smells of food that it is not allowed to enjoy.
2. Many people don't like or don't feel comfortable with dogs, or, even worse, harbour allergies, and to inflict your dog on everyone else like that is just selfish.
3. I would be concerned with the fact that I couldn't even go a mealtime without the company of my dog; that level of dependence seems excessive and possibly disturbing.
Honestly, I don't get why anyone would even want their dog with them at a restaurant. I have a ball python snake that is a complete angel: he's a gentle, slow moving soul that enjoys any opportunity to be out of his tank. I suspect that he would like going to a restaurant as much as a dog. Should I be permitted to bring him, given that he's probably better behaved than almost any dog? How many people would feel comfortable with that? (Note: I have zero desire to bring him with me to a restaurant. I'm just pointing out the absurdity of this situation.)-COLLAPSE
I cannot stand it when dogs stare at me while I am eating. I had to endure this at a friend's place (not a resto) and I don't know why the owners don't bother to curb this behaviour.
@Vorpal -- fantastic post!
Great guidelines- I agree with every one, especially about prepping the dog. Even my dog, who is well-behaved and mild-mannered, would not be expected to lie quietly at my feet in a public place throughout a meal, so I would never take her along until she's exercised, fed, and allowed her bathroom break- then she'll lie under the table willingly.
I don't love to see people with pets on their...+READ
Great guidelines- I agree with every one, especially about prepping the dog. Even my dog, who is well-behaved and mild-mannered, would not be expected to lie quietly at my feet in a public place throughout a meal, so I would never take her along until she's exercised, fed, and allowed her bathroom break- then she'll lie under the table willingly.
I don't love to see people with pets on their laps at a table, esp. if those owners are fussing over the pet and feeding it, but then again, do any of us wish to see messy kids throwing their food about at a public table, which I see ALL the time, with no effective attempt on the parents' part to quelch the behavior? Far worse in my view. I wish there could be more emphasis on table manners in general, regardless of who or what is at the table.-COLLAPSE
I think it's fine to tell the person in question that not everyone appreciates dogs inside restaurants. The problem is that even if the people at the table can tolerate it, there's no guarantee that the other patrons in the restaurant really want to be around the dog. It's really not the other parties' place to say that you shouldn't have a dog in the restaurant, but they may be the ones...+READ
I think it's fine to tell the person in question that not everyone appreciates dogs inside restaurants. The problem is that even if the people at the table can tolerate it, there's no guarantee that the other patrons in the restaurant really want to be around the dog. It's really not the other parties' place to say that you shouldn't have a dog in the restaurant, but they may be the ones suffering if they have dog allergies.
Obviously it's something that should be addressed before everyone arrives at the restaurant- e.g. "I'd love to meet up with you at restaurant X next Saturday. Just to let you know, the restaurant does not allow dogs." or something of that nature to make it clear that the dog is not welcome. Once the person shows up with the dog in tow, I think it's harder to control what he/she does with the dog. This time of year in Florida it's getting too uncomfortable to eat outside, so for that you can just say you'd really prefer to eat inside because you can't handle the heat.-COLLAPSE
Dining with a friend and her annoying dog has more to do with the issue of choosing the wrong friends than it does with the issue of whether or not the general public should be allowed to bring their dogs to a restaurant's patio. If you are too passive to ask your friend to refrain from feeding her chihuahua at the table you probably deserve to lose your appetite, but please don't confuse your...+READ
Dining with a friend and her annoying dog has more to do with the issue of choosing the wrong friends than it does with the issue of whether or not the general public should be allowed to bring their dogs to a restaurant's patio. If you are too passive to ask your friend to refrain from feeding her chihuahua at the table you probably deserve to lose your appetite, but please don't confuse your own social shortcomings with an actual problem.-COLLAPSE
Ohhh - The barkers and lickers - Thank you Helene! Once went to brunch in a crowded bar w/ a friend who brought in a "somi" lap dog that she did indeed put on her lap. Throughout the meal about every three minutes I'd get a lick on my right hand. Meanwhile, she's sitting on my right and feeding the dog out of her right hand. I'm not sure what the deal was - was I supposed to feed the dog too??...+READ
Ohhh - The barkers and lickers - Thank you Helene! Once went to brunch in a crowded bar w/ a friend who brought in a "somi" lap dog that she did indeed put on her lap. Throughout the meal about every three minutes I'd get a lick on my right hand. Meanwhile, she's sitting on my right and feeding the dog out of her right hand. I'm not sure what the deal was - was I supposed to feed the dog too?? Don't let me get flamed w/ the "Dogs mouths are cleaner than a humans" - I've seen where dogs put there mouths..
I gave up attempting to eat and when we'd paid I immediately ran to the restroom to scrub.-COLLAPSE