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Helena has heard reader feedback that you want more letters, and there will be one next week. But for this week, Helena has an issue she wants to address.
Unsurprisingly, baristas at coffeehouses have to put up with a lot of grumpiness. But baristas have other reasons to kvetch. The second in a series, this column will explain the four worst etiquette blunders made in coffeehouses.
You might be thinking, “Why should I worry about this stuff? It’s not my job to mollycoddle the barista. I am paying them, after all.” But proper coffeehouse etiquette can have advantages for you, too: Not only is the barista more likely to remember you and your order, saving you time, but you may also get a little extra love. Most people have a neighborhood or workplace coffeehouse where they go again and again. Wouldn’t you rather it feel like Cheers, where everybody knows your name, versus inspiring a universal eye roll when you walk in? So here’s what not to do:
1. Multitask. “Customers talking on cell phones or Bluetooth earpieces when they’re trying to order—that’s the bane of the barista’s existence,” says Dean Falletti, a barista at Peet’s Coffee in Portland. Instead, put off that call or text message and take a second to say hello and acknowledge the barista. Yes, it might seem like basic politeness, too obvious to mention, but many forget to do it, the same way they forget to acknowledge toll collectors or grocery store cashiers.
2. Act like you’re in Starbucks. People often request Starbucks sizes, asking for a venti or grande, Falletti says. Not only does this make customers look unsophisticated, but the barista may not understand the lingo or be able to accommodate the request. James Freeman, owner of Blue Bottle Coffee in San Francisco, says folks should also forgo the Starbucks attitude: expecting to have their coffee fine-tuned to their personal requirements. That doesn’t really fly in the type of coffeehouse that is growing increasingly common, which focuses on simple drinks made with high-quality coffee rather than offering dozens of variations. In such places, which include Four Barrel in San Francisco and Abraco in New York, you’ll have a better experience if you appreciate what they’re offering rather than demand a grande vanilla Frappuccino.
3. Bother the barista. Often, one person takes the order while another makes the drinks. People often assume that because the latter isn’t directly interacting with customers he isn’t busy, so if they need to know where the sugar or the bathroom is, they approach him before anybody else. Actually, the barista may be juggling a number of different orders in his head, says Falletti. “They’re focused on making the shots or steaming the milk right. Then they have to completely derail and focus on the customer for a second.” If possible, it’s better to ask the cashier or someone else, like the person busing tables.
4. Rely on disposable cups (and lids and sleeves). Even if you recycle cups, for the sake of the planet it’s always better to reuse. Plus, reusable mugs can enliven the barista’s day, Falletti says. As with bringing your own cup to a cocktail party, it’s interesting to see what vessels people bring. “There’s always someone who brings in a weird mug, like one guy always had a mug his kid made.”
And there’s a perk to being green: Often, the barista will reward you by filling the mug, no matter what size you ordered, Falletti admits. “Sometimes you have to go by the book because the manager is there, but nine times out of ten the barista will charge you for a small and fill your 16-ounce mug.”
Thanks for this! I've always wanted to take my own mug but I wasn't sure how the barista would know what size it was, and I didn't want to appear presumptuous by ordering a small (I don't order "venti" or what-the-heck-ever even when I'm in S'bucks!) and expecting them to put it in my monstrous "bowl o' coffee" mug. I frequented one indy coffee house several years ago (they had their own HUGE...+READ
Thanks for this! I've always wanted to take my own mug but I wasn't sure how the barista would know what size it was, and I didn't want to appear presumptuous by ordering a small (I don't order "venti" or what-the-heck-ever even when I'm in S'bucks!) and expecting them to put it in my monstrous "bowl o' coffee" mug. I frequented one indy coffee house several years ago (they had their own HUGE in-house mugs and when I moved, I bought my own mug because I missed the coffee house so much!) and asked the baristas for their recommendations. I got something different (and wonderful!) every time.
I did the same w/ a local tea house by giving them a bit: "small, iced, something fruity, a little sweet, with jelly," and the owners ALWAYS made me happy. (Hello, Kim and Lan at Kaleisia!) Treat the staff like intelligent human beings who know their business and you'll get EXCELLENT service.-COLLAPSE
I like to go in and ask if they have Folgers. :-D
Hi Helena,
I love the choice of topic! I just wrote a series on this specific to Boston, and on the East Coast several baristas complained to me about the "Dunkin Donuts" phenomenon. Instead of ordering Starbucks style, as you mentioned, people order like they are in Dunkin Donuts, and are often irritated that there isn't flavored coffee available or that the barista doesn't add the cream and...+READ
Hi Helena,
I love the choice of topic! I just wrote a series on this specific to Boston, and on the East Coast several baristas complained to me about the "Dunkin Donuts" phenomenon. Instead of ordering Starbucks style, as you mentioned, people order like they are in Dunkin Donuts, and are often irritated that there isn't flavored coffee available or that the barista doesn't add the cream and sugar for the customer.-COLLAPSE
When I go to a "local" home grown coffee house.. the price is the same as Starbucks or Peets, however, 90% of the time the quality is inferior to the aforementioned. If I am going to spend the same amount of money.. I expect the coffee to be of good quality and flavor- not watered down and insipid. Some places don't use filtered and taste awful. Starbucks, and Peets, to a lesser degree have grown...+READ
When I go to a "local" home grown coffee house.. the price is the same as Starbucks or Peets, however, 90% of the time the quality is inferior to the aforementioned. If I am going to spend the same amount of money.. I expect the coffee to be of good quality and flavor- not watered down and insipid. Some places don't use filtered and taste awful. Starbucks, and Peets, to a lesser degree have grown and prospered because they offer a good product and great customer service compared to the often snooty-snarkey staff at local home grown- non establishment we are better than the "big-guys" places. I have not found that to be the case.. sadly.-COLLAPSE
Yeah, the thing is, if I go to Starbucks, I know what I'll be getting, it'll be tasty and just what I ordered. I'm pretty sure that the barista won't spit in my latte if I go to Starbucks, and the barista won't be an overly entitled dork with an attitude, because to be honest, it's important to be a good barista, but it isn't the hardest job in the world.
But my reuseable mug says Starbucks on it...will that upset the barista?
Heavens to betsy, I have no idea what's OK anymore. I'm off to a friends with my own wineglass to hunt for some booze. I have to remember to kennel my children and drop the dog off at the babysitter. Wait, was it the other way around? No matter, children = dogs.
As a former barista, I thank you for this article.
Another annoying and rude thing is to pretend you know more about coffee than the barista!
One way to avoid being labeled a cretin: go to your neighborhood gas station and pour yourself a $1.19 medium French Roast.
As a former barista myself and the wife of a current one, #1 is the only one here that counts as etiquette or (of the 4) that the barista cares about. While Starbucks language can be annoying, it's generally translatable for anyone in the business and is only irritating when a customer insists upon a Starbucks drink itself even though the coffee shop doesn't serve Frappuccinos or the like. #3 is...+READ
As a former barista myself and the wife of a current one, #1 is the only one here that counts as etiquette or (of the 4) that the barista cares about. While Starbucks language can be annoying, it's generally translatable for anyone in the business and is only irritating when a customer insists upon a Starbucks drink itself even though the coffee shop doesn't serve Frappuccinos or the like. #3 is asinine - asking an employee of a shop where to find the bathroom is not an etiquette gaffe, and only the snootiest of baristas would take offense. And while #4 may be green and valuable for that reason, frankly, rinsing and reusing someone's generally poorly-washed personal mug is pretty gross. No barista is excited or wowed by someone's personal mug. The barista talking about the "weird mug" was mocking it.
Far more important to baristas etiquette-wise: Acknowledge they're humans and put your cell phone call on hold for 2 seconds to order. Ask for your drink like a polite person; don't demand it like the barista is your personal slave. If you ask for advice on a drink and then ignore it, don't be upset that you got what you ordered. If you plan to camp out for hours at a time, either continue to make purchases (as simple as coffee refills) or leave a big tip. And for God's sake, clean up after yourself. I've never witnessed such lazy pig behavior than in my years at coffee shops - sweeping your own crumbs into your empty cup and throwing both away shouldn't be something adults should have to be reminded to do.-COLLAPSE
Regarding the Starbucks language, I agree it's kind of funny to watch people squirm when they can't get their favorite chain drink at a local shop (one place in my neighborhood simply posted a sign that says No! We Don't Have Frappucinos!). But, when the cashier or barista goes out of their way to kindly educate a customer, I think it is a mark of a great coffeeshop - passionate about coffee and...+READ
Regarding the Starbucks language, I agree it's kind of funny to watch people squirm when they can't get their favorite chain drink at a local shop (one place in my neighborhood simply posted a sign that says No! We Don't Have Frappucinos!). But, when the cashier or barista goes out of their way to kindly educate a customer, I think it is a mark of a great coffeeshop - passionate about coffee and wanting to share the love. That's what makes regulars. At farm:table in SF, they were so dear to my country mouse mother who did not know what a "Tendernob" was (slang for the neighborhood, and their term for something between a traditional macchiato and a cap); after their explanation, she ended up getting one and loving it. I'll go there any day for the great coffee PLUS the friendly staff. She told me about her earlier small-town experience where the barista gave her the macchiato she ordered, and when she questioned him if it was hers (of course, she was expecting Starbucks style), he simply snapped "that's the way it is", no additional explanation. I had to explain to her what a macchiato really entails, which was what she really wanted, not to be treated like an idiot by some bridge-and-tunnel random who needs to feel superior.-COLLAPSE
Accounting faux pas: paying for a $2 drink with a credit card. It costs the coffee shop as much as 50 cents to process such a transaction transaction. Ouch.
Spillover faux pas: showing up at restaurant with a coffee cup in hand, especially since many places serving breakfast and brunch will happily give you a cup of their own coffee to drink while you're waiting for a table. A breakfast joint...+READ
Accounting faux pas: paying for a $2 drink with a credit card. It costs the coffee shop as much as 50 cents to process such a transaction transaction. Ouch.
Spillover faux pas: showing up at restaurant with a coffee cup in hand, especially since many places serving breakfast and brunch will happily give you a cup of their own coffee to drink while you're waiting for a table. A breakfast joint near my father's house responded to this sort of oafishness with a sign advising of a $5 corkage fee for Starbucks cups.-COLLAPSE
Basic human courtesy isn't "coddling" just because you're paying for your damn drink!
Once again, I've got to weigh in on the side of the customer. Most of these points DO ask the customer to mollycoddle the barista and quite frankly it is much more common to wait for the employee to finish texting or talking on the phone than the reverse.
But the Starbuck's talk is a funny point. Customers were browbeaten into speaking that dunderheaded dialect by one shop and now another is...+READ
Once again, I've got to weigh in on the side of the customer. Most of these points DO ask the customer to mollycoddle the barista and quite frankly it is much more common to wait for the employee to finish texting or talking on the phone than the reverse.
But the Starbuck's talk is a funny point. Customers were browbeaten into speaking that dunderheaded dialect by one shop and now another is bent out of shape because the poor dears have internalized it! I'll agree to unsophisticated but many have no idea that ordering a skinny venti half mocha is no different than ordering a McRib.
The bit about the reusable mug just makes me sad. Have you seen the wasteful packaging at coffee shops? Are they collecting their waste water? Do they even compost their grounds?
Where would they possibly find the nerve to look down their noses when a customer chooses to accept their kind offer of a paper cup with her coffee? It's weird that the barista can look down her nose at the patron while making a cup of coffee but is impossibly overtaxed if asked how to find the restroom!-COLLAPSE
Saying "Hello" to a service provider (or to any other human who isn't shooting at you) seems pretty obvious; I'm surprised that even one person is taking issue with what amounts to basic civility. But "don't bother the barista" and "reuse your cup" aren't addressing gaffes; they are addressing preferences not blunders. If a coffeeshop doesn't want anyone to speak to the barista they can arrange...+READ
Saying "Hello" to a service provider (or to any other human who isn't shooting at you) seems pretty obvious; I'm surprised that even one person is taking issue with what amounts to basic civility. But "don't bother the barista" and "reuse your cup" aren't addressing gaffes; they are addressing preferences not blunders. If a coffeeshop doesn't want anyone to speak to the barista they can arrange their space so the barista isn't the easiest person to speak to. If they can't, then the barista just has to suck it up and realize that part of his/her job is to handle some questions. If the barista is busy then the cashier is probably busy too.-COLLAPSE
This article amused me, because this morning _the barista_ wouldn't get off her cell phone as she took/made my order. These kids today . . . :-)
Also, bring my own cup?! GMAB!
Good suggestions.
Blue Bottle refuses to provide artificial sweeteners. Dissing diabetics, for me, would be a "faux pas."
thomas64: You certainly have no obligation to acknowledge the server, but you also have no obligation to be a polite and decent human being. A little kindness and politeness goes a long way for everyone in life. I hardly go out of my way to be a nice guy myself, but I find that hellos, pleases, and thank yous with big smiles to the people who provide me with services on a day-to-day basis (e.g....+READ
thomas64: You certainly have no obligation to acknowledge the server, but you also have no obligation to be a polite and decent human being. A little kindness and politeness goes a long way for everyone in life. I hardly go out of my way to be a nice guy myself, but I find that hellos, pleases, and thank yous with big smiles to the people who provide me with services on a day-to-day basis (e.g. restaurant staff, bus drivers, cashiers, etc) can often make a difference in someone's day and are a simple, virtually effort-free way to bring someone a ray of sunshine. Why not?-COLLAPSE
I agree with Piccola. Just because I'm out and about, want coffee, and don't have a reusable mug on me doesn't make me rude. If giving me one of the cups that they're ultimately charging me for is one of the worst things that happens in a coffee shop, they've got a pretty great job. I think if we ask the owners of the shops whether they'd prefer we don't come in at all or use their cups, they'd...+READ
I agree with Piccola. Just because I'm out and about, want coffee, and don't have a reusable mug on me doesn't make me rude. If giving me one of the cups that they're ultimately charging me for is one of the worst things that happens in a coffee shop, they've got a pretty great job. I think if we ask the owners of the shops whether they'd prefer we don't come in at all or use their cups, they'd choose the latter.
I always tend to have the bad luck of finding the half n half pitcher empty. When it happens, I take it to the counter and wait for someone to address me. If that happens to be the barista, I'm not going to feel bad for not getting in line and waiting for the cashier.-COLLAPSE
And why are there no letters? Let's think, shall we? I'm not remotely interested in the issues this author wants to address. This week's column is ripped off from Amy Alkon.
Rein in your kids! It's not a playground. Hot liquid + children running around = possible disaster.
Wow, thomas64, I don't think that was the point so much as not being downright rude by talking to 2 people at once. It's distracting. What's wrong with a little graciousness?
I agree with point number one, that it's always polite to greet and acknowledge another human being, but will add that this is another rule that goes both ways. Since Helena brought up the example of the grocery store cashiers, I would like to point out the huge number of times the cashiers (or cashiers and baggers) are deep in social conversation and never acknowledge the customer who just...+READ
I agree with point number one, that it's always polite to greet and acknowledge another human being, but will add that this is another rule that goes both ways. Since Helena brought up the example of the grocery store cashiers, I would like to point out the huge number of times the cashiers (or cashiers and baggers) are deep in social conversation and never acknowledge the customer who just dropped $100 (or more) on groceries. To me this is a double offense...ignoring both the human being and your customer. I don't routinely go to coffee houses, because I don't understand spending a good amount of money for something I can easily make cheaper and better at home, but if I just spent $4 on a cup of coffee, I would certainly expect the cashier to greet, smile, and not look like I was inconveniencing him or interrupting a conversation.-COLLAPSE
Once, I was at an indie coffeeshop in a city not known for coffee and ordered a macchiato. The barista scrunched up her face and said, "this isn't Starbucks." So, it goes both ways.
Regarding No. 3, if you can't find the bathrooms or the sugar in a coffeehouse then you're probably not a person who is allowed out by yourself, or allowed to spend money on your own. As for No. 1, too bad if the employee is offended if I don't say hello and introduce myself - it's not a blind date, it's business transaction. Take me order, take my money, get my coffee, that's it.
I'm all for going green, but it's not a matter of etiquette.