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Dear Helena,
Why can’t servers just carry a notepad? Do they think memorization is a mark of good service? I feel like whenever the server tries to memorize my order, he screws it up.
—I’ll Have It My Way
Dear I’ll Have It My Way,
Although some restaurant managers do believe that memorization is impressive to the customer, like juggling cutlery it’s a parlor trick that can easily go wrong. Anne Stoll, co-owner of Delfina in San Francisco, says when servers attempt to memorize orders, “they’re always forgetting the side of Brussels sprouts.”
At upscale restaurants, your server is actually more likely to have a notepad in hand, says Gary Smith, a restaurant consultant. “When I worked with Michael Mina ... you wrote everything down, because he never wanted you to go back to the table and say, ‘I forgot what you ordered.’” Even if the server has razor-sharp recall, customers won’t know that. When the server writes things down, says Stoll, “it puts customers at ease.”
As you may know, George A. Miller’s classic 1956 study found that humans can retain an average of seven items in their short-term memory. But Dr. Adam Gazzaley, a neuroscientist at the University of California–San Francisco, says: “When it comes to complex information like words … or even more complex items, like faces, we can remember fewer and fewer units.” In other words, while the average person can remember a seven-digit phone number, he will struggle to remember: “One steak, one pasta, two salads, dressing on the side”—let alone which meal goes with which face.
is that a joke because it wpould be house undressed, why mention the lack of russian lol
one way to not get your order wrong when the server writes it down is to let him go afterward! none of this chatting, "how are you going to remember everything?" b.s. let him go get it into the computer before he forgets it!
Repeating the order back to the customer does help with memorization. I find that I only have to write things down if it's a really large party, with particularly picky customers.
[Salad name] undressed [dressing type], i.e.: House undressed Russian
Writing the order(s) down isn't a guarantee of getting the right food. I was with a group of over a dozen at a fairly nice resto with a limited menu and at least half the orders were wrong. Not sure if it was the waiter writing stuff wrong, the kitchen not following that, or just the waiter serving the plates to the wrong people. The guy who was treating us was pretty steamed, as you might...+READ
Writing the order(s) down isn't a guarantee of getting the right food. I was with a group of over a dozen at a fairly nice resto with a limited menu and at least half the orders were wrong. Not sure if it was the waiter writing stuff wrong, the kitchen not following that, or just the waiter serving the plates to the wrong people. The guy who was treating us was pretty steamed, as you might imagine. All written down, of course.-COLLAPSE
Any server who is asked to "write this down" when they feel completely competent to NOT write it down is going to feel nothing but contempt for you. I wouldn't want to dine under THAT cloud!
Let go, let God. If you don't like that server, refuse their section in the future, but you cannot control everything! - Only whether you will choose to sit through it or not.
Worth repeating: it's not always the server's choice. I had a manager that insisted on hands-behind-the-back memorization. On a quiche-of-the-day country inn lunch shift, fer gosh sakes.
SeitansMinion - you might consider asking the server to write down your order. Simply say it would make you more comfortable. Simple and not bruising anyone's esteem (if that is an issue). If the server refuses (? LOL), ask politely for one that is willing to serve you. No fuss, no muss.
Oh how many times I have heard servers say that they only screw up orders if they write them down. LOL. You screw up orders because you are not paying attention.
Lots of stuff can happen between table and order input. Just write it down.
Servers should also stick to a system in their writing so they do not have to auction off food at the table. "Who's having the steak with the loaded baker?"...+READ
Oh how many times I have heard servers say that they only screw up orders if they write them down. LOL. You screw up orders because you are not paying attention.
Lots of stuff can happen between table and order input. Just write it down.
Servers should also stick to a system in their writing so they do not have to auction off food at the table. "Who's having the steak with the loaded baker?" Yeesh!
Pride should be in good service and happy customers, not having an amazing memory. if that is your focus, consider creating a stage show. You can hook up with a ventriloquist and make a go of it together.-COLLAPSE
I like the French habit of writing the order down on a pad, tearing it off and putting it face up on the table. They seem to remember the first items, but come back and, without saying anything, pick it up, look at it, and then go off to fetch whatever's next. There's no scope for error, on either side, because it's always there infront of you.(assuming he wrote it down right in the first place!...+READ
I like the French habit of writing the order down on a pad, tearing it off and putting it face up on the table. They seem to remember the first items, but come back and, without saying anything, pick it up, look at it, and then go off to fetch whatever's next. There's no scope for error, on either side, because it's always there infront of you.(assuming he wrote it down right in the first place! I say "he". It suddenly occurs to me that I cannot recall, in fifty years, ever being served by a waitress in France, only ever a man.)-COLLAPSE
LOL @ Dessert Oasis: Hear, hear! When I go to a restaurant, I've usually perused the online menus hours in advance in eager anticipation of the meal and know what I'm going to order prior to even sitting down at the table. Most of my foodie friends are the same way.
coming from the "other side" of this post, we're actually taught that we should be able to memorize the order (dependent on the size of the party of course). It's supposed to make us look more professional to remember everything. So I understand where you're coming from, I also dine out often, but just know that sometimes it's orders from the boss man.
I have eaten with people who forgot what they ordered and I think I may have once. It's usually when someone is waffling between two dishes and they forget which they chose.
Well, for me it's happened more times than I can count-- truly. And I don't have any food allergies or restrictions of any kind, so I can only imagine what SeitansMinion's dining out experiences are like. I would never tell anyone how to do their job, but a suggestion or a plea can't do any harm, can it?
And beevod, do people really forget what they order that often? I guess I'm too much of a...+READ
Well, for me it's happened more times than I can count-- truly. And I don't have any food allergies or restrictions of any kind, so I can only imagine what SeitansMinion's dining out experiences are like. I would never tell anyone how to do their job, but a suggestion or a plea can't do any harm, can it?
And beevod, do people really forget what they order that often? I guess I'm too much of a foodie to forget!-COLLAPSE
joel, nobody is basing their like or dislike off the specific server's performance here. they're saying "once somebody forgot something because they didn't write it down. now I want everybody to write down everything every time." jmo.
Dear luniz:
You say "I don't like it when people tell me how to do my job, why should I tell them how to do theirs?" Answer: Because everyone needs feedback on their performance in order to improve. Doesn't matter if you work in an office or in a restaurant. If you want a tip (or bonus in the corporate world), you have to live up to your customers' expectations.
Forget servers, the I real problem is when the diner can't remember what he or she ordered.
Well, but luniz, then you're ignoring all the commenters in this thread (including industry folk) who are saying that not writing things down does indeed make forgetfulness more likely. And yes, mistakes can still happen when something's written down, but they're less likely. It may well be that the inability to remember is the mark of a less experienced or professional server, but so long as...+READ
Well, but luniz, then you're ignoring all the commenters in this thread (including industry folk) who are saying that not writing things down does indeed make forgetfulness more likely. And yes, mistakes can still happen when something's written down, but they're less likely. It may well be that the inability to remember is the mark of a less experienced or professional server, but so long as they still have jobs, all the more reason they should be allowed to write things down.-COLLAPSE
my point is that the server should do whatever works best for them and you should relax and enjoy your meal. not crab about whether they're writing things down. servers screw up whether they write things down or not. i don't buy that it makes them more likely to forget things for a second. being a bad server is what makes them likely to forget things.
I am vegan, and my sister is celiac. When we go out to eat with a group of people and the server isn't carrying a notepad, I always sigh inwardly... I know that there's a 50-75% chance that she or I are going to have to send back our meals and wait 10 minutes for the correct ones, watching the rest of the group eat theirs.
We never make a fuss at restaurants, maybe quietly asking a question...+READ
I am vegan, and my sister is celiac. When we go out to eat with a group of people and the server isn't carrying a notepad, I always sigh inwardly... I know that there's a 50-75% chance that she or I are going to have to send back our meals and wait 10 minutes for the correct ones, watching the rest of the group eat theirs.
We never make a fuss at restaurants, maybe quietly asking a question about ingredients, but usually just sticking with what we know is safe to order. Maybe we should become those annoying diners, announcing our restrictions and preferences loudly and demanding high-maintenance service... Maybe then the "without chicken, please", and the "hold the croutons" would stick in the server's mind.
Oh, and I was a server for 13 years - I have experience in everything from cocktail waitressing to bartending, to fine dining and banquets, as well as a brief stint at a restaurant with swinging wooden doors and chicken-fried steak on the menu. Tips depend on a pleasing, well-timed, and seamless experience for the diner (or drinker), and in order to avoid tables in my section swivel-necking to see where their side of dressing is, or wondering why their vodka tonic didn't show up with the round, I always wrote everything down.-COLLAPSE
PS, NellyNel—cute story, and I absolutely agree it can be done well. But it can also be done badly, and in the case of a server who's struggling, he or she should be allowed to just jot it down. It likely makes everyone more comfortable in the end.
"This is a classic example of expectations causing somebody to form a negative opinion before anything bad has happened."
The point is, luniz, mistakes have happened, as some of us have pointed out. And who says many servers wouldn't themselves prefer the option of writing it down rather than memorizing? It's easier for everyone (as ike04 points out). It's restaurateurs, not servers, who...+READ
"This is a classic example of expectations causing somebody to form a negative opinion before anything bad has happened."
The point is, luniz, mistakes have happened, as some of us have pointed out. And who says many servers wouldn't themselves prefer the option of writing it down rather than memorizing? It's easier for everyone (as ike04 points out). It's restaurateurs, not servers, who determine this policy.
As for not telling them how to do their job—so all service issues are off the table in discussions among diners? Since when?-COLLAPSE
I worked in an incredibly busy Thai restaurant and I was a fairly good server...but one day I decided to not write the orders down...
and voilà!
I became a brilliant server!
Why?
Because I paid attention!
I found that when it was super busy and I wrote the orders down - THAT"S when I screwed up - because I was'nt paying attention and I'd scribble and then not understand what it was I...+READ
I worked in an incredibly busy Thai restaurant and I was a fairly good server...but one day I decided to not write the orders down...
and voilà!
I became a brilliant server!
Why?
Because I paid attention!
I found that when it was super busy and I wrote the orders down - THAT"S when I screwed up - because I was'nt paying attention and I'd scribble and then not understand what it was I scribbled and I'd have to go back.
I seriously had a great track record... I think in a year I messed up 2x.
The regulars would announce to their friends:"Watch this! She won't write it down and she will remember everything!"
One nasty guy at a 6 top was saying "OH COME ON MAN YOU WONT REMEMBER THIS!!!" and his friend just touched him and said "she will I have seen her do it"
So yes, it can be done and done well...
(Funnily enough I really have a terrible memory!!)-COLLAPSE
I've never had a server forget something because they didn't write it down. I don't like it when people tell me how to do my job, why should I tell them how to do theirs? This is a classic example of expectations causing somebody to form a negative opinion before anything bad has happened.
I have no idea how she did it, but I watched a co-worker take the orders for, and correctly deliver, plates for a table of 30. This included steaks (we had four different ones on the menu), their doneness, special orders, etc. She claimed to have done a group of 40 once.
Personally, I write down everything as soon as there is more than one person at a table. I also parrot back orders as I get...+READ
I have no idea how she did it, but I watched a co-worker take the orders for, and correctly deliver, plates for a table of 30. This included steaks (we had four different ones on the menu), their doneness, special orders, etc. She claimed to have done a group of 40 once.
Personally, I write down everything as soon as there is more than one person at a table. I also parrot back orders as I get them - often a server will parrot back your order to make sure she has heard correctly.
I work in French and English and we sometimes switch back and forth within the same sentence, so I need to make sure that we all agree on what's been ordered.-COLLAPSE
Knowing how busy and harried a wait staff in a busy restaurant must be, better they should swing by my table a couple of times to double-check that they're getting our orders right than bring the wrong order.
Someone did a study of a waiter with a phenomenal memory, and found he was actually able to accurately recall a lot more than 5-7 items. The key is "chunking" -- for ex., he might visualize a steak on the customer, up high (near the head) if he wanted it well-done, lower on the body if he wanted it rarer, etc. (I can't remember his exact strategy, but it was something like that). It's the same...+READ
Someone did a study of a waiter with a phenomenal memory, and found he was actually able to accurately recall a lot more than 5-7 items. The key is "chunking" -- for ex., he might visualize a steak on the customer, up high (near the head) if he wanted it well-done, lower on the body if he wanted it rarer, etc. (I can't remember his exact strategy, but it was something like that). It's the same reason you can remember 16-digit credit card numbers -- you chunk them into 4-digit pieces.
All that being said, I am most impressed when a server gets all of my order right, regardless of whether s/he writes it down.-COLLAPSE
"I'm confused...what does any of this have to do with "Table Manners"? "
If you'd been reading this column for a while you'd realize that Helena has expanded its purview to include all behaviors that take place in restaurants and/or anyplace else where food and drink are found.
I'm confused...what does any of this have to do with "Table Manners"?
This one of my biggest pet peeves. I eat out 2-3 times per week, and I can't express how often servers don't write down the order, then come back to "double-check” it or later screw it up in some way. While enjoying an evening out with friends, there are a certain number of times I expect servers to stop by, such as when they are taking orders, asking if the food is alright, etc., but I really...+READ
This one of my biggest pet peeves. I eat out 2-3 times per week, and I can't express how often servers don't write down the order, then come back to "double-check” it or later screw it up in some way. While enjoying an evening out with friends, there are a certain number of times I expect servers to stop by, such as when they are taking orders, asking if the food is alright, etc., but I really dislike when they interrupt my table again because they didn't write the order down. Servers should be as unobtrusive as possible, and customers, in turn, shouldn’t bother them. But I can’t help that I have to flag them down for the water, extra hot sauce, side of bacon, or whatever they’ve inevitably forgotten. This seriously happens so often, that when I don't see the waiter with a writing pad, I just shake my head, knowing that I'll see him/her again in a few minutes. Waiters: you're totally awesome and we love for all the crazy hard work that you do, but please write orders down. I beg you!-COLLAPSE
When I worked as a server, it was part of the job to check the plates before taking them to the table to make sure the kitchen had made the dish right. So yes, writing things down is important.
What about servers who *do* write down an order but then return to ask "I just want to make sure this is what you ordered..."? This has happened to me a few times. What's that about? Is there a chance they might be mistakening my order with that of another table's?
This is not unlike the last thread about naming prices for specials. What restaurateurs think about what diners think and what diners actually do think seem to be at odds. I agree that though I *am* impressed when a server remembers (as was the case for me last night) the drink and dining orders of 7 people, I'd feel a lot more at ease if they just wrote it down, and can't fathom why the addition...+READ
This is not unlike the last thread about naming prices for specials. What restaurateurs think about what diners think and what diners actually do think seem to be at odds. I agree that though I *am* impressed when a server remembers (as was the case for me last night) the drink and dining orders of 7 people, I'd feel a lot more at ease if they just wrote it down, and can't fathom why the addition of that element of risk is believed to enhance the dining experience.-COLLAPSE
it seems that even if they go around the table and repeat the orders (which I find terribly annoying) they still end up coming back to the table with the order wrong. im guessing the real issue is that they don't turn in their order to the kitchen, they punch it into some machine. A number 4 - onion, dressing on the side - just like my order at mcburger.
The item my servers most often forget is my glass of water. I usually ask for juice or a beer or something too. When the server remembers, I often notice that the water is written down on the check. I think it is a good idea. Why make a tough job even harder? Even if the server has an amazing memory, this still takes effort and energy. Why not save a little mental energy even if it is for the...+READ
The item my servers most often forget is my glass of water. I usually ask for juice or a beer or something too. When the server remembers, I often notice that the water is written down on the check. I think it is a good idea. Why make a tough job even harder? Even if the server has an amazing memory, this still takes effort and energy. Why not save a little mental energy even if it is for the server to be more alert on the drive home.-COLLAPSE