Pizza’s Reinvention

Published on Monday, February 1, 2010, by James Norton / Edit Post

Hot Pockets Cheese Stuffed Crust Pizzeria

Hot Pockets Cheese Stuffed Crust Pizzeria

I Paid: $2.99 for four 7.5-ounce pizzas (prices may vary by region)

Taste: 1 stars

Marketing: 2 stars


James Norton edits the Upper Midwestern food journal Heavy Table. He's also the coauthor of a book on Wisconsin's master cheesemakers. For his Supertaster column, he samples offerings from supermarket aisles and fast-food menus. You can follow him on Twitter and fan him on Facebook. His wife, Becca Dilley, takes the photographs for Supertaster. She specializes in weddings and food photography, and is the coauthor of and photographer for the book on Wisconsin's master cheesemakers.

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POST A COMMENT |9 Comments

COMMENT

  • This guy's reviews are worthless. He's not into the stuff he's reviewing, so of course he's not going to like it. It's as if someone sent me to a Broadway musical to review it--I don't like Broadway musicals.

    Go find someone who is into Hot Pockets.

  • That Jim Gaffigan Hot Pocket routine, is the absolute pinnacle of Microwavable food humor.

    "it's a Hot Pocket_in_a Hot Pocket!"
    "Good Morning!!! You're about to call in sick!"
    ".....and then you dunk it in the toilet!"
    see, now I have to go watch the whole damn thing!:-)


    All that being said, it seems like sometimes Mr, Norton is reviewing things for pure comedic value, which doesn't really...+READ

    That Jim Gaffigan Hot Pocket routine, is the absolute pinnacle of Microwavable food humor.

    "it's a Hot Pocket_in_a Hot Pocket!"
    "Good Morning!!! You're about to call in sick!"
    ".....and then you dunk it in the toilet!"
    see, now I have to go watch the whole damn thing!:-)


    All that being said, it seems like sometimes Mr, Norton is reviewing things for pure comedic value, which doesn't really bother me. I mean, what Venn Diagram overlap could there be for people that come to Chow.com and those that don't know Hot Pockets are universally terrible?-COLLAPSE

  • Hot Pockets. Still sounds like a stripper's name. You know it's bad when it's even bad when you're drunk.

  • Looks like Will Goldman took my advice from his previous CPK review debacle and reviewed hot pockets correctly. I sometimes think he's toying with me.

  • "diarhea pocket."

  • "Hmm, I'm looking for something that is liquid magma on the outside, but still frozen on the inside."

    "May I suggest the Hot Pocket, sir?"

    "Will it burn my mouth?"

    "It'll destroy your mouth, sir."

  • How can one possibly talk about Hot Pockets without mentioning the blatantly fraudulent packaging sporting copious amounts of meat and cheese?

    Would you like some starch with your starch?

  • "Zero to one cheeses are registering here..."

    LOL

  • You have done CH's a service by making known the dangers of flying pizza cheese. I, for one, will use protection when I indulge in the future.

    Mr. Norton, I get you. It's tough to have your humor be misunderstood and under-appreciated, but keep rocking this column like you so often do.