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Dear Helena,
People who come to my house tend to like my cooking. I get lots of hints for leftovers, often before we are even done eating. It’s flattering, but often my husband and I want to savor the leftovers for a few days, especially since we probably spent the previous day cooking and cleaning for our guests. How can I politely say no without seeming greedy myself?
—Tastes Better the Next Day
Dear Tastes Better the Next Day,
A host should always offer to share leftovers on Thanksgiving, since there’s usually a ton of food left and the meal is typically a group effort. On any other occasion, it’s rude for a guest to ask you to wrap up a portion of lasagne for his lunch the next day. As you suggest, the leftovers are a host’s reward for slaving in the kitchen.
Nonetheless, it does sound a bit churlish if a guest asks for a doggy bag and you flatly refuse. It’s better to acknowledge the implicit compliment and offer a truthful explanation: “I’m so flattered you enjoyed the meal, but after tonight, I’m really looking forward to not having to cook for the next three days.”
Dear Helena,
When leaving a party, is it OK to grab a beer for the road? What if you brought them?
—A Beer in the Hand Is Worth Two in the Fridge
Dear A Beer in the Hand,
At a cocktail party, there’s usually so much booze left over that a good host won’t begrudge you a few beers for the road, a.k.a. roadies. Before anyone accuses me of alcoholism or of being grossly irresponsible, let me say that only non-vehicularly-transported guests are entitled to roadies. In most states it’s illegal to have an open container of alcohol in the car, passengers included. And even if you’re walking home, exercise discretion: In many places it’s also illegal to be publicly intoxicated.
Dear Helena,
I brought a bottle of Armagnac to a dinner party so we could all have a tipple with our coffee. Was it rude for me to ask for it back afterwards?
—I’m Just Not That Nice
Dear I’m Just Not That Nice,
If you’re bringing a digestif such as Fernet-Branca that cost 20 to 30 bucks, you should be prepared to leave the bottle. But, as CHOW drink columnist Jordan Mackay points out, some bottles of after-dinner spirits, like Scotch, Cognac, or Armagnac, can cost hundreds of dollars. In theory, your host should be grateful you’re offering a taste of such a precious elixir to his guests. Nonetheless, in practice, it still looks stingy if you snatch the bottle away after people have drunk from it.
Happily there’s a simple solution: Just decant as much as you think you’ll need into another, smaller bottle (preferably a nice glass one, and not, say, a plastic water bottle) and tie a ribbon ’round it. Leave your little gift behind and savor the rest at home.
Many people in my group (mostly 30-somethings) will take 'road dogs' with them when they leave a party. I'd say that very few of these are actually consumed on the way home (and almost all of us take the subway around, so this isn't drunk driving), but often consumed when actually arriving home.
As for taking unused alcohol with you, there's a whoel thread on that somewhere but what seems to...+READ
Many people in my group (mostly 30-somethings) will take 'road dogs' with them when they leave a party. I'd say that very few of these are actually consumed on the way home (and almost all of us take the subway around, so this isn't drunk driving), but often consumed when actually arriving home.
As for taking unused alcohol with you, there's a whoel thread on that somewhere but what seems to happen in this same group is that unless one is bringing various bottles of spirits for mixing drinks (e.g. i might bring a bottle of absinthe, a bottle of chartreuse, etc which I don't intend on leaving), bitters and other such stuff that what is brought stays. Beer definitely stays, wine stays, spirits & related stuff are a case-by-case situation.-COLLAPSE
celfie..not even maybe around these parts, unless the host has encouraged you to take it, or unless you're heading to another party, or really really know the hosts well. Especially with something like beer, you bring it, and you typically leave it in the fridge when you go. Realistically, if you want to break out a $500 bottle of something, do so in your own home.
I'm sort of torn on the idea...+READ
celfie..not even maybe around these parts, unless the host has encouraged you to take it, or unless you're heading to another party, or really really know the hosts well. Especially with something like beer, you bring it, and you typically leave it in the fridge when you go. Realistically, if you want to break out a $500 bottle of something, do so in your own home.
I'm sort of torn on the idea of leftovers. It depends on the situation. If you have dined and you are offered a wonderful dessert, but have no room for it at the moment, is it rude to ask to take it with you?
But why cook a meal that you intend to have leftovers for? What if a guest is really hungry and eats lots?-COLLAPSE
"Leftovers" -- are you talking about food or people?
booze is your personal property and it is rude of a host or other guest to expect you to leave it with the exception of wine. if you're at the level of 6 pack bringage, chances are you need the leftovers for yourself!!!!
I can't imagine asking for leftovers at someone else's house. And if offered any, would refuse (nicely.)
But if asked for leftovers from a meal that I'd cooked, I'd consider it a compliment and wrap them up without a second thought.
The fact that there was never quite enough food when I was growing up has a lot to do with it. I can't imagine not having enough extra just in case some liked my...+READ
I can't imagine asking for leftovers at someone else's house. And if offered any, would refuse (nicely.)
But if asked for leftovers from a meal that I'd cooked, I'd consider it a compliment and wrap them up without a second thought.
The fact that there was never quite enough food when I was growing up has a lot to do with it. I can't imagine not having enough extra just in case some liked my cooking enough to ask for seconds (or thirds) or simply wanted more because they were still hungry. So I always end up cooking extra.
I strongly believe that sharing food is sharing life.
Having said that, I do understand cooking extra for future meals. But then, why leave it out where people can see that there's extra if you're not going to share it willingly? Use some common sense, wrap up the extra, and put it away out of sight. Then you won't have to worry about looking greedy.-COLLAPSE
Why not just offer the recipe if you don't want to part with the leftovers?
@alixium - you obviously didn't attend many parties as a teenager or young adult with alcohol at them. And Roadies are not just in the South or Texas.
I would never, ever, in a million years ask for leftovers. If they are offered, I would graciously accept whatever they wanted to give me. I might ask for the recipe if there was something really good. But the only thing I would want to leave with would be any baking dish, etc. that I brought. Any beverages I consider a gift to the host/hostess, whether or not they decide to serve it or save it...+READ
I would never, ever, in a million years ask for leftovers. If they are offered, I would graciously accept whatever they wanted to give me. I might ask for the recipe if there was something really good. But the only thing I would want to leave with would be any baking dish, etc. that I brought. Any beverages I consider a gift to the host/hostess, whether or not they decide to serve it or save it (for later, or a re-gift!).-COLLAPSE
To Iowstate --
You misunderstand. This wasn't cooking a special dinner for a date and then calling them a "mooch" for having seconds. This was me (a woman, btw) inviting over two close girlfriends to have first taste of a batch of risotto that I'd specifically said that I was cooking up to have meals for myself to last the week. Which is why I was rather frustrated that after I'd served them...+READ
To Iowstate --
You misunderstand. This wasn't cooking a special dinner for a date and then calling them a "mooch" for having seconds. This was me (a woman, btw) inviting over two close girlfriends to have first taste of a batch of risotto that I'd specifically said that I was cooking up to have meals for myself to last the week. Which is why I was rather frustrated that after I'd served them very large first portions, they went back for *heaping* second and third helpings; and I walked into the kitchen after they'd left to realize that they'd eaten all of it. Little different. :)-COLLAPSE
Sorry just re-read my post and it should be "host" and "France" I'm not a good speller
I like your post KosherHound. I had a "poor" friend who I refused to lend money to, but, I told him he was welcome for dinner every night at 6pm, and I packed him leftovers. when he showed up
If a guest asked for leftovers I would oblige because of the culture I grew up in that dictated that my generosity should have no bounds. To say "No" would be the hight of rudeness. That said, I know that...+READ
I like your post KosherHound. I had a "poor" friend who I refused to lend money to, but, I told him he was welcome for dinner every night at 6pm, and I packed him leftovers. when he showed up
If a guest asked for leftovers I would oblige because of the culture I grew up in that dictated that my generosity should have no bounds. To say "No" would be the hight of rudeness. That said, I know that other cultures think differently.
Cultural norms regarding food are differ greatly. On the Canadian Prairies where I grew up it was rude not to clean your plate because it meant that you were wasting food and did not respect the effort the hoast put into the meal. In the East (Toronto) it is common to leave a small amount of food left on your plate to indicate that you have been served so much that you can not eat it all. If you clean your plate you are saying to the hoast that you have not had enough and want more.
My sister worked as an Au pair in frence and came back with stories of diner parties where there was "Just Enough" food for everyone, no seconds or thirds. She was scandalized because how we grew up you had to provide "More Than Enough", providing "Just Enough" made you look cheap.-COLLAPSE
I find a lot of Helena's advice off-kilter - particularly regarding booze - for my particular culture/crowd. I think perhaps she may be part of a culture that drinks more, and regards it as more integral, than some of you posters who are wondering if she has a problem.
I agree with many above that there is *no* meal at which people are entitled to leftovers, and unless they're family, it's tres...+READ
I find a lot of Helena's advice off-kilter - particularly regarding booze - for my particular culture/crowd. I think perhaps she may be part of a culture that drinks more, and regards it as more integral, than some of you posters who are wondering if she has a problem.
I agree with many above that there is *no* meal at which people are entitled to leftovers, and unless they're family, it's tres gauche to ask for them. That said, it's always nice when the host offers and not rude at all to accept.
One exception I make about leftover requests is people who truly, truly need the food and can't afford to feed themselves well. It may be a bit embarrassing, but if you have a very close relationship with the host and you have been eating ramen or eggs for weeks on end, and you know they don't mind sharing the leftovers, there's nothing wrong with asking if you can take *some* of them home. It's a fine line that requires a certain level of intimacy, a knowledge by them of your situation, and a knowledge of you that they don't mind. As a single mother, I've had a lot of people pack up leftovers for me to take home (unasked) - and I have always been enormously appreciative of it. If your friends struggle financially and you don't, offer the leftovers once in awhile.-COLLAPSE
Incredibly rude and shows a lack of breeding to grab for the left overs.
That is the job of nobody but the host.....and if the host desires to keep everything for their self and live on the remains of the party or dinner for the next few days that is their right as host for having their house turned upside down.
I have yet to have a family party or dinner where they did not force us to take...+READ
Incredibly rude and shows a lack of breeding to grab for the left overs.
That is the job of nobody but the host.....and if the host desires to keep everything for their self and live on the remains of the party or dinner for the next few days that is their right as host for having their house turned upside down.
I have yet to have a family party or dinner where they did not force us to take more left overs than we wanted. Friends it is different...some give freely and others consider the left overs as the reward for having their lives disrupted and the house messed up.
This is to writeval
how do you consider it mooching when you have cooked a large meal for when she comes over?
does the girlfriend have any inkling that you did not prepare this meal for the two of you which seems to be a methodology.
she may have the same problem you are writing about and thinks you are helping to give her a nice feed.-COLLAPSE
gloriousfood, yes, he is one classy dude....always has been :). His wife planned the birthday party. The problem is that they are far too frequently picking up the entire bill. It's not like this group of friends can't afford to pay their share...perhaps I'm just sensitive to this since I am the one that's back in school and on a tight budget. I'm just getting to know this group through my...+READ
gloriousfood, yes, he is one classy dude....always has been :). His wife planned the birthday party. The problem is that they are far too frequently picking up the entire bill. It's not like this group of friends can't afford to pay their share...perhaps I'm just sensitive to this since I am the one that's back in school and on a tight budget. I'm just getting to know this group through my girlfriend. My friends would never expect the birthday boy to pick up the entire dinner tab, no matter who's throwing the dinner party.-COLLAPSE
Amoncada, I respect your opinion and respectfully disagree with yours. It is still unknown if your friend threw the party or was one thrown for him. If the former, he should pay and he did the classy thing by doing so. If the latter, he shouldn't have to pay, yet he still did the classy thing by paying. So either way, the bday boy came out a classy dude.
Here's a somewhat related post on the...+READ
Amoncada, I respect your opinion and respectfully disagree with yours. It is still unknown if your friend threw the party or was one thrown for him. If the former, he should pay and he did the classy thing by doing so. If the latter, he shouldn't have to pay, yet he still did the classy thing by paying. So either way, the bday boy came out a classy dude.
Here's a somewhat related post on the issue of who pays for parties. It's a bit long, so please be patient wading through it. There's an interesting subthread about a man who wanted to throw a bday party for his wife.
http://chowhound.chow.com/topics/654575-COLLAPSE
I have two girlfriends for whom I often cook, and the plan has been to make a meal for 8, serve 3-5 servings between us, then have 3 lunches left over (and yeah, with this economy I NEED the extra meals out of it). But reality has been that they go back for seconds -- and thirds -- and when I come in to clean dishes after they've gone, I discover enough pan scrapings for one appetizer portion....+READ
I have two girlfriends for whom I often cook, and the plan has been to make a meal for 8, serve 3-5 servings between us, then have 3 lunches left over (and yeah, with this economy I NEED the extra meals out of it). But reality has been that they go back for seconds -- and thirds -- and when I come in to clean dishes after they've gone, I discover enough pan scrapings for one appetizer portion. The sister-in-law solution is the one I plan to employ in the future (but with food I've cooked myself): dole out generous portions, then put the rest in the fridge before sitting down to eat so there's no third helpings to mooch when I think they're wandering into the kitchen to put away their emptied plates. :)-COLLAPSE
gloriousfood: I have to disagree with you on that. The guests should have at least offered to pay their share, plus of few of them consumed the lion share of the tab. It's just wrong that the birthday boy had to pick up the entire tab.
It's the height of rudeness to ask one's dinner-party host for leftovers. Now, I never count on having leftovers, but I make too much food for almost every occasion. Sometimes I offer doggie bags -- but sometimes we wanna enjoy the rest of that meal later in the week. If anyone ever was boorish enough to ask me -- I can't guarantee that I'd be as kind with my response as Helena suggests!
...+READ
It's the height of rudeness to ask one's dinner-party host for leftovers. Now, I never count on having leftovers, but I make too much food for almost every occasion. Sometimes I offer doggie bags -- but sometimes we wanna enjoy the rest of that meal later in the week. If anyone ever was boorish enough to ask me -- I can't guarantee that I'd be as kind with my response as Helena suggests!
Roadies: 30 years ago in Texas everyone drove around with a beer in their cup-holder. In fact, I'd not seen a cup-holder in a car until a friend and I visited his brother outside of Dallas and lo and behold -- the console of his 4WD had 2 cupholders, and a compartment that'd hold iced beer!
In New York City, I ran with a crowd of lushes in my youth. Several of our favorite bars would make us a "roadie" to take in the cab with us to our next destination. Our house parties always had a sleeve of disposable cups for roadies.
Of course, in the country, where driving's involved -- and nowadays *where ever* driving's involved, roadies are a no-no.
But then, the bar in the back of that limousine is the ultimate roadie, isn't it.
Finally, about taking a bottle to a party. If you wanna play, you gotta pay. Never take a bottle with you. Ever. If you don't want to part with your 30-year-old Cognac or 60-year-old port, wait until your peeps come to your house, then offer sips.-COLLAPSE
If the birthday boy was the one who threw the party and invited everyone, I 'd certainly hope he'd pick up the tab.
I think it's impolite to take your booze/wine back...one of my great friends did just that over the weekend...she took back the unopened bottle of wine and leftover brie!
Yeah, asking for a roadie is in poor taste, unless of course the soiree you attended is accross from a festival or block party of sorts.
I attended a birthday party the other day at a trendy Latin restaurant in Chicago. It...+READ
I think it's impolite to take your booze/wine back...one of my great friends did just that over the weekend...she took back the unopened bottle of wine and leftover brie!
Yeah, asking for a roadie is in poor taste, unless of course the soiree you attended is accross from a festival or block party of sorts.
I attended a birthday party the other day at a trendy Latin restaurant in Chicago. It killed me that the abundance of leftover paella went to waste...I was sooo tempted to ask for it in a doggie bag...wow it was fantastic too :(! Can you believe it that the birthday boy picked up the tab (a pretty pricey one at that)...I was the only one to offer to chip in?! How rude!!-COLLAPSE
Maybe it is a cultural or regional thing. I have a friend and classmate from the northeast who told me about a tiff with family members (cousins, aunts) who were trying to pack up and take "leftovers" from at buffet at her father's funeral only one hour into the gathering! She had to step up for her mom so that the buffet would not be decimated during the rest of the open house. I love her family...+READ
Maybe it is a cultural or regional thing. I have a friend and classmate from the northeast who told me about a tiff with family members (cousins, aunts) who were trying to pack up and take "leftovers" from at buffet at her father's funeral only one hour into the gathering! She had to step up for her mom so that the buffet would not be decimated during the rest of the open house. I love her family stories!-COLLAPSE
When somebody asks you for something, you're allowed to say no. Otherwise, what's the purpose of asking? Family situations excepted, if somebody is rude enough to ask you for leftovers, a sweet smile and "sorry, I can't" should be all that is needed. If they're boorish enough to persist, I see nothing wrong with saying "I was planning to have them for lunch tomorrow." If they're mad at that,...+READ
When somebody asks you for something, you're allowed to say no. Otherwise, what's the purpose of asking? Family situations excepted, if somebody is rude enough to ask you for leftovers, a sweet smile and "sorry, I can't" should be all that is needed. If they're boorish enough to persist, I see nothing wrong with saying "I was planning to have them for lunch tomorrow." If they're mad at that, tough.-COLLAPSE
Poor Helena has been traumatized by the accusations of alcoholism! I think Chow should throw her and those of us who have defended her on that score a cocktail party in her honor.
There's an easy solution to the leftovers problem. Say you're serving lasagne (as in Helena's example). Plate up each guest's portion in the kitchen and put it in front of them. Make sure that each portion is a genuinely reasonable amount for a person to eat and to feel satisfied but not stuffed - i.e., an amount that most people will be able to finish, leaving the plate clean. If, after you have...+READ
There's an easy solution to the leftovers problem. Say you're serving lasagne (as in Helena's example). Plate up each guest's portion in the kitchen and put it in front of them. Make sure that each portion is a genuinely reasonable amount for a person to eat and to feel satisfied but not stuffed - i.e., an amount that most people will be able to finish, leaving the plate clean. If, after you have served everyone their portions, there is some lasagne left in the kitchen - leave it in the kitchen, cover it up, and don't mention that there's any left. Act like you've managed to judge the required amount of food to perfection!
People can't ask to take leftovers home if they don't see any food left over, after all.
Things like salad are obviously nicest put on the table in a communal bowl for people to serve themselves, but if your guests are asking to take home a few left-over lettuce leaves then they're the ones with the problems, not you!-COLLAPSE
When I was young...leftovers from a family gathering were savored and it seemed the party continued all weekend if I was lucky enough to get some. I recall my Mother never refused anyone food -- it's not the Sicilian way -- and it pleased her to see visitors to our house eating and enjoying foods that were not common to their households. Now that I am older, I am amazed at how many people...+READ
When I was young...leftovers from a family gathering were savored and it seemed the party continued all weekend if I was lucky enough to get some. I recall my Mother never refused anyone food -- it's not the Sicilian way -- and it pleased her to see visitors to our house eating and enjoying foods that were not common to their households. Now that I am older, I am amazed at how many people compliment my cooking as if they couldn't even fathom how to make these dishes. I am so happy to see them enjoying themselves and celebrating the wonderous effect of food that I could never begrudge them leftovers. Yes it can be costly to cook... but it's mostly time-consuming because it's a labor of love. I recommend the host offer soon after dinner is over to avoid anyone having to ask. Guests will take the food home and sing your praises as long as it lasts and possibly for years to come.-COLLAPSE
Our bi-annual big family gatherings are always potlucks and I have an aunt whose "traditional" contribution is ALWAYS jello, while everyone else brings ribs, stews, curry, roasts, etc. At the end of the night, she never fails to ask for leftovers. If we're lucky, she'll be kind enough to bring her own Tupperware--so that she can bring enough home to last for a week.
I BEG guests to take leftovers--after cooking it, serving it, eating it, and cleaning up after it, I certainly don't want to LOOK at it again! Regular guests to my home now bring their own tupperware or return mine for refill!
@luxaries--I'm on of those leftover-refusers. I thank you for the meal and I've enjoyed the food very much. However, I don't want to take food home with me. vorpal doesn't like leftovers, however much he may have enjoyed the meal, so that's one valid reason to refuse that has nothing based on the host's cooking. I watch my weight and while I've llikely enjoyed every single calorie of a (likely)...+READ
@luxaries--I'm on of those leftover-refusers. I thank you for the meal and I've enjoyed the food very much. However, I don't want to take food home with me. vorpal doesn't like leftovers, however much he may have enjoyed the meal, so that's one valid reason to refuse that has nothing based on the host's cooking. I watch my weight and while I've llikely enjoyed every single calorie of a (likely) high-calorie meal cooked by my host, once I'm home, it's time to get back on the healthy eating track. Once again, valid reason to refuse leftovers that has nothing to do with the host's culinary skills. Maybe you are just being overly sensitive. I'm sure that you are an excellent cook and that your guests enjoyed the meal, but their refusal to accept leftovers has nothing to do with your cooking.-COLLAPSE
@Slviyo-neither my MIL or my SIL are the exception. Sheesh is right. We all take turns hosting our homes as a gathering place; only my SIL hides the leftover food. Our MIL wouldn't make a scene and neither do I...I just shake my head and smile. Perhaps my SIL needs to control things more than I do. Either way I'm commenting on her lack of ability to share. The girl is many wonderful things but...+READ
@Slviyo-neither my MIL or my SIL are the exception. Sheesh is right. We all take turns hosting our homes as a gathering place; only my SIL hides the leftover food. Our MIL wouldn't make a scene and neither do I...I just shake my head and smile. Perhaps my SIL needs to control things more than I do. Either way I'm commenting on her lack of ability to share. The girl is many wonderful things but sharing is not her strong suit.-COLLAPSE
If your SIL is hosting I think she has as much right to keep the leftovers as if she was cooking. If your MIL prefers you share it does she say something? Sheesh- I thought families were the exception to the etiquette rules because we can talk more openly.
My sil has this not so subtle habit of packing her frig during the dessert course with leftovers from the dinner course so no one asks for anything to take home. Now if she was responsible for preparing all the food I would understand her habit but 90% of the food is prepared by our MIL who would prefer we all share it.
I always leave shaking my head.
The "roadie" thing is something I saw a lot of in college as people would roam from one party to the next or from party to bar (where they couldn't drink because they were underage). I can't recall seeing it since then, although post-college and pre-middle age we would occasionally make "one for the road" but that was generally a group of us all going to a club together from one person's house...+READ
The "roadie" thing is something I saw a lot of in college as people would roam from one party to the next or from party to bar (where they couldn't drink because they were underage). I can't recall seeing it since then, although post-college and pre-middle age we would occasionally make "one for the road" but that was generally a group of us all going to a club together from one person's house where we met beforehand.
Those kinds of college-age parties were informal in the extreme though.-COLLAPSE
I completely agree, Kater. While it is ok to accept an offer of leftovers, you should never ask for them, unless, perhaps, the host gave birth to you. And once you bring something to someone's home, beer or Cognac, it belongs to the recipient.
If I just cooked and cleaned and provided booze for a houseful of people, I may very well begrudge you a "few" beers for the road (the letter writer only...+READ
I completely agree, Kater. While it is ok to accept an offer of leftovers, you should never ask for them, unless, perhaps, the host gave birth to you. And once you bring something to someone's home, beer or Cognac, it belongs to the recipient.
If I just cooked and cleaned and provided booze for a houseful of people, I may very well begrudge you a "few" beers for the road (the letter writer only wanted one). Why do I have to stock your fridge, entertaining is expensive enough. Booze lasts long enough that I don't have to worry about it going bad.
That said I am single and not a beer drinker, so I may very well invite you to take home leftovers or to take back the beer you brought because I won't drink it. But, for heaven's sake, wait till i offer!-COLLAPSE
I must respectfully disagree with much of this advice.
Whether it is Thanksgiving or not, it is absurd to expect or request left overs. I don't have that many leftovers at Thanksgiving and it is not a group effort. OK sometimes I have a lot of leftovers and I usually send some home with my guests that the notion that I'm obligated to do so or that Thanksgiving is intrinsically pot luck is just...+READ
I must respectfully disagree with much of this advice.
Whether it is Thanksgiving or not, it is absurd to expect or request left overs. I don't have that many leftovers at Thanksgiving and it is not a group effort. OK sometimes I have a lot of leftovers and I usually send some home with my guests that the notion that I'm obligated to do so or that Thanksgiving is intrinsically pot luck is just off.
And I don't care if your bottle of Cognac cost $17,468 you do not bring it unless you plan to leave it. If you would like to share it with friends and retain the leftovers you host a gathering at your own home.
I can't even begin to address this Roadie thing. Good grief!-COLLAPSE
In the frozen prairie town I grew up in, there was a great culture of house parties. You would often go to 3-6 a night. In that context it was perfectly acceptable to take your beer with you when you left to go to the next party. These days, and in the community I live in now I would not take one for the road, but I would also not look down on someone who does
I never considered the term "roadie" to mean that someone literally drank the beer while on the road. To me, it means you take it on the road...to your home.
And I agree with MaddyK...in Texas once upon a time, it was okay to drink and drive, just as long as you were not DRUNK. So I can understand how the terminology can stick even if it's not the same in our time.
Regarding roadies, I think it's a Southern thing. I'm pretty sure in New Orleans you're allowed to drink in the car as long as you're not the driver. You can also walk in public with open containers.
Technically, I'm not sure whether or not roadies are actually legal if you're a passenger, but let's put it this way -- there are things called drive-thru daiquiri shops and I think the rule is...+READ
Regarding roadies, I think it's a Southern thing. I'm pretty sure in New Orleans you're allowed to drink in the car as long as you're not the driver. You can also walk in public with open containers.
Technically, I'm not sure whether or not roadies are actually legal if you're a passenger, but let's put it this way -- there are things called drive-thru daiquiri shops and I think the rule is that if you get pulled over, and the straw isn't opened/inserted into the actual daiquiri, then it's fine.-COLLAPSE
Good Lord, I've never even heard of such a thing. And I'd never, EVER ask for leftovers, the thought makes me cringe.
I'd also think a lot less of somebody who started hinting for leftovers after dinner. The only person I know who has guests ask for leftovers is a friend with a sister who's a career crack whore, at the obligatory family dinners. She also rifles through drawers and medicine...+READ
Good Lord, I've never even heard of such a thing. And I'd never, EVER ask for leftovers, the thought makes me cringe.
I'd also think a lot less of somebody who started hinting for leftovers after dinner. The only person I know who has guests ask for leftovers is a friend with a sister who's a career crack whore, at the obligatory family dinners. She also rifles through drawers and medicine cabinets looking for cosmetics, fun medications, and jewelry.-COLLAPSE
luxarles: I have friends who love to host dinner parties. They are good cooks, and at the end of the night, send everyone home with leftovers. Indeed, they're quite insistent about it and will not take no for an answer. I wish that they wouldn't be so forceful: I love their food, but I'm not really a fan of leftovers in general, and typically prepare my own meals in portions so that it's not a...+READ
luxarles: I have friends who love to host dinner parties. They are good cooks, and at the end of the night, send everyone home with leftovers. Indeed, they're quite insistent about it and will not take no for an answer. I wish that they wouldn't be so forceful: I love their food, but I'm not really a fan of leftovers in general, and typically prepare my own meals in portions so that it's not a problem most of them time. So just because someone refuses your leftovers does not indicate that they don't like your food :-).-COLLAPSE
So, no beers in the car or as I'm walking? Hmm.
Unless I have a limo and a driver, I'm not sure when I'd be allowed to have a "roadie."
Is a horse drawn carriage a vehicle? Dog-driven bobsled? Rollerskates? Rascal motorized scooter?
Please advise.
I also think asking for leftovers is rude, but on the other hand...it must also say a lot about your cooking skills! It's a compliment of sorts.
As for taking home what you bring to a dinner, unless it's potluck, that's just bad form.
I have never heard of such a thing as bringing a beer "for the road".
If one is leaving, isn't one going home to sleep, or going at a bar where one isn't allowed to bring one's own beverage?
Someone please explain to me this concept.
I agree that guests shouldn't just descend on the host's leftovers like locusts and scram, laden with food without permission. Nowadays, lots of hosts are on tight budgets and may very well be counting on those leftovers to tide them over until payday and the next trip to the grocery store! :-) If the host enthusiastically offers to let you bring a "care package" home with you, that's different...+READ
I agree that guests shouldn't just descend on the host's leftovers like locusts and scram, laden with food without permission. Nowadays, lots of hosts are on tight budgets and may very well be counting on those leftovers to tide them over until payday and the next trip to the grocery store! :-) If the host enthusiastically offers to let you bring a "care package" home with you, that's different (don't forget to thank him/her). For what it's worth, when I bring my gluten-free baked treats to gatherings with family and/or friends, I never have to worry about leftovers because whatever goodies weren't gobbled up are usually snatched up by everyone else to be taken home -- and that's 100% fine with me, because then I don't have leftover brownies, blondies, and GF Cranberry Bliss Bars taste-alikes sitting in my fridge or freezer calling my name! :-)-COLLAPSE
When I was a kid and we went to eat at my parents' friends' homes, they used to routinely dole out leftovers at the end of the evening, and my parents did the same. Maybe it was because the dinners weren't formal affairs, but whether it was Thanksgiving, Christmas, someone's birthday, or some other celebration, leftovers were shared. I still have happy memories of those times. Now that I'm an...+READ
When I was a kid and we went to eat at my parents' friends' homes, they used to routinely dole out leftovers at the end of the evening, and my parents did the same. Maybe it was because the dinners weren't formal affairs, but whether it was Thanksgiving, Christmas, someone's birthday, or some other celebration, leftovers were shared. I still have happy memories of those times. Now that I'm an adult with my own dinner parties, I've wanted to do the same, so it's always puzzled me when my friends seemed reluctant to accept my offers of food. I wondered if my cooking was truly awful and everyone was simply too polite to tell me. On the rare occasion when someone expressed an interest in leftovers, I've been elated.-COLLAPSE
I agree with glowworm. Asking for leftovers is ungodly rude, IMO it is still rude even on Thanksgiving. The only time I feel like it isn't rude is if it's family (you're at mom's house or vice versa) or if it is a potluck. With that said, even when I attend a potluck or BYOB event I never take back my booze or the food I bring unless the host is trying to get rid of leftovers and says, "Oh please...+READ
I agree with glowworm. Asking for leftovers is ungodly rude, IMO it is still rude even on Thanksgiving. The only time I feel like it isn't rude is if it's family (you're at mom's house or vice versa) or if it is a potluck. With that said, even when I attend a potluck or BYOB event I never take back my booze or the food I bring unless the host is trying to get rid of leftovers and says, "Oh please take this."-COLLAPSE
Helena, maybe the reason posters accuse you of having an alcohol problem is because you are apparently familiar with such things as "roadies." I cannot imagine asking for a "beer for the road" unless it was a college gathering or the 1950s. It is equally, if not more, ill-mannered to ask to take home alcohol as it is leftovers. Absent unusual circumstances, your contribution to the party is a...+READ
Helena, maybe the reason posters accuse you of having an alcohol problem is because you are apparently familiar with such things as "roadies." I cannot imagine asking for a "beer for the road" unless it was a college gathering or the 1950s. It is equally, if not more, ill-mannered to ask to take home alcohol as it is leftovers. Absent unusual circumstances, your contribution to the party is a gift to the host and you do not ask for any part of it back.-COLLAPSE
The only time I take leftovers from a party is if it was a potluck, in which case I take whatever I brought (mostly so the host doesn't have to clean and return the container to me), or if it is a family get-together, in which case my mother gives me stuff to take home.
If I had a party and someone asked for leftovers I would probably let them have them just to avoid awkwardness but that seems...+READ
The only time I take leftovers from a party is if it was a potluck, in which case I take whatever I brought (mostly so the host doesn't have to clean and return the container to me), or if it is a family get-together, in which case my mother gives me stuff to take home.
If I had a party and someone asked for leftovers I would probably let them have them just to avoid awkwardness but that seems like a weird and rude request unless the guest is in some dire situation.-COLLAPSE
Unless there was an obscene amount of food left over, I would refuse to take left overs with me even if they were offered (so I really can't imagine asking for leftovers). Even if it's more of a pot luck situation, I don't like to take home the leftovers of whatever I brought. I feel like I should leave left overs to the hosts, who went through much more effort cleaning, preparing, etc.
I've never witnessed anyone acutally asking a host to take extra food home. Many times I have seen hosts offer extra food to guests to take home, but never the other way around.
I will often portion out the leftovers into "lunches" for my friends to take home. I usually make "family style" food for dinner parties that portions out well