Creamy New Wine-Chocolate Drink

Published on Wednesday, December 9, 2009, by James Norton / Edit Post

ChocoVine

ChocoVine

I Paid: $10.99 for a 750-milliliter bottle (prices may vary by region)

Taste: 3 stars

Marketing: 0 stars

There are two strong, tested, time-honored ways to market wine. The first is to stress the terroir, the vintage, the nobility of the stuff you’re trying to sell. The other is to appeal to the more frugal consumers and laud the stuff as an affable table beverage, great for drinking when you gather friends and family together to eat massive bowls of rustic pasta.

Then there is the ChocoVine approach. First, you play up noted wine nonproducer Holland by sticking a windmill and tulips on the label. Then you explain that the beverage you’re attempting to sell is, as the website states, “a fine French Cabernet subtly combined with a rich dark chocolate from Holland, paired together to create a decadent, silky smooth drink.”

This combination of wine, cream, and chocolate looks and pours like chocolate milk—although, if you hold your glass up to a bright light, you can see traces of red wine amid the Yoo-hoo. As for taste: Holy moly! It’s not wine. It’s not even vaguely wine. It’s something like Kahlúa meets Baileys, a creamy, chocolate-inflected cordial that is almost entirely lacking in fruit or tannins. You can just barely hear the wine gasping for air near the end of each sip, but it’s a minor player, mostly lending the alcohol that gives ChocoVine its 14 percent kick. Chocolate and cream are driving this bus, heading for a comfy party where guests sport appliqué-snowman sweater vests and nosh on Boursin cheese.

So it’s not terrible, as long as you tell yourself one important thing: “I’m not drinking wine. This is not wine.” If you’re looking to blow some minds over the holidays, purchase a bottle, bring it to a party, and watch complicated emotions swirl. Better yet, bring it to a party and put someone else’s name on the card.

James Norton edits the Upper Midwestern food journal Heavy Table. He's also the coauthor of a book on Wisconsin's master cheesemakers. For his Supertaster column, he samples offerings from supermarket aisles and fast-food menus. You can follow him on Twitter and fan him on Facebook. His wife, Becca Dilley, takes the photographs for Supertaster. She specializes in weddings and food photography, and is the coauthor of and photographer for the book on Wisconsin's master cheesemakers.

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POST A COMMENT |19 Comments

COMMENT

  • Sounds like a bunch of wine snobs on this list. If you dont like Baileys, dont try this. If you like Baileys, you will love this if only for the price.

    I was amazed at the number of people that posted an opinion on something they HAD NOT TRIED!!! How can you have an opinion of something you have not tasted? I suppose they would be against, sex if they had never tried it? It isn't a very...+READ

    Sounds like a bunch of wine snobs on this list. If you dont like Baileys, dont try this. If you like Baileys, you will love this if only for the price.

    I was amazed at the number of people that posted an opinion on something they HAD NOT TRIED!!! How can you have an opinion of something you have not tasted? I suppose they would be against, sex if they had never tried it? It isn't a very appetizing concept when you get right down to the description....right?

    I just bought my second two bottles of the stuff.-COLLAPSE

  • It is DELICIOUS!!!!! I went to a store where they were giving samples and, OMG!!! Ended getting two bottle of it.

  • Unfortunately I don't like chocolate at all but do like Yoo-Hoo for unknown reasons. This wine does sound intriguing enough to at least try though.

  • Sounds utterly repulsive.

  • Sorry no whiskey finish..TODAY SHOW

  • I've actually had this and it is not all bad. Think of Bailey's with a more chocolate taste and whiskey finish. I wouldn't drink this all the time, but 1 glass on the rocks is just fine. My local wine guy sells about 6 cases a week of the stuff. Not too mention the publicity that the Tody show gave it.

  • I don't understand how the combination of Cabernet, cream, and chocolate could yield a 14% ABV result, especially if said result has little wine character. The product must be spiked with some grain alcohol or something.

  • I wouldn't spend money on this, given the description, but thanks for the idea, I'm gonna try mixing wine with chocolate milk sometime soon :D

  • I saw this in my supermarket and could not believe it existed. I even took a picture of a bottle. Thanks for being brave enough to try it.

  • Bleh, meh and feh.

  • My guts started churning when I read this article, just like they did when I saw the KFC bowl commercial.

  • Actually, a cough syrup-infused Tootsie Roll is a fine idea—much better than this. It's the worst idea I've ever heard outside of KFC bowls.

  • My husband and I sampled this at a wine tasting we stumbled across in a local wine shop, and I totally agree with this review. Almost everyone else just loved it, though, (we even succumbed to peer pressure and tried it a second time, but no) so I'm glad to know that we're not alone in our opinion. :-)

    My husband likened it to Bosco & Vicks. I thought it was more like a cough syrup-infused...+READ

    My husband and I sampled this at a wine tasting we stumbled across in a local wine shop, and I totally agree with this review. Almost everyone else just loved it, though, (we even succumbed to peer pressure and tried it a second time, but no) so I'm glad to know that we're not alone in our opinion. :-)

    My husband likened it to Bosco & Vicks. I thought it was more like a cough syrup-infused tootsie roll.-COLLAPSE

  • My go-to baker and wine merchant has had four bottles of this product on his check out. No sale in about the past four weeks.

  • I tried this. It's better than Yoo-hoo. It is not as good as chocolate milk (or anything else that is actually good). It could detect nothing wine-like about it other than some alcohol.

    I would never buy this but if I accidentally drank it again I would not spit it out.

  • I disagree with this review. I find this to be much better than chocolate covered oreos, which were reviewed higher. Chocolate covered oreos are vile.

  • I agree with StrawbrryF, this does sound pretty awful, then again I don't like chocolate martinis or liquor filled chocolates or anything like that.

  • Swill.

  • I know you ranked the taste to be average, but I'm seriously suppressing the gag reflex just thinking about this in concept. Seriously, gross! Waste of good resources all around.I don't even have a morbid curiosity about it.