How to Make a Healthy Snack
McBites = Modern McNuggets?
Slow Cooker Recipes
When Should Bars Cut You Off?
How to Scrape a Vanilla Bean
Best Riffs on Hot Chocolate
Dear Helena,
My kid will only eat three things: macaroni and cheese, a baked potato with cheese, and cream cheese sandwiches (Philadelphia brand only). I’ve tried everything. Now I’ve given up and I just make him separate meals for the sake of my own sanity. Is this really bad? Will he grow out of it?
—Eat Your Greens
Dear Eat Your Greens,
If your kid grows up to be a picky eater, he’ll have to worry about more than just vitamin deficiencies. A dinner invitation will become a source of shame and fear. He’ll have to figure out how to politely tell his host about all the foods on his “no” list. Or else he’ll have to become skilled at choking down foods he doesn’t like. And Chowhounds may find it very difficult to date him, marry him, or even be his friend.
Luckily, just because a kid is picky doesn’t mean he’ll necessarily be a picky adult. All omnivores, even rats, are reluctant to try new things, says Leann Birch, a professor of human development at Pennsylvania State University. While people are born liking sweet foods, it’s natural for them to shrink from things like spinach. “Sour and bitter tastes signal there are potential toxins,” Birch says. Eventually, most people learn to override their childhood aversions and appreciate all kinds of things, like pickles, arugula, or vodka. You’ll just want to give your child a gentle nudge into more adventurous eating.
How to do so? It’s no longer in vogue to bargain with your kid, telling him he can have an Oreo if he finishes his broccoli. Forcing your kid to choke down all of his greens will send the message that veggies are just a means to an end, rather than something that might actually be enjoyable. Also, “[c]oaching them to eat when they’re not hungry might have other negative outcomes,” says Birch. In other words, your child could grow up with weight and overeating issues.
And yet the last thing you want to do is give up and cater to your child’s every whim. According to Birch’s research, preschool kids need at least five exposures to a new food before they’ll eat it. Exposure doesn’t mean they have to eat their entire portion. “Just ask them to take a small taste … they have to put it in their mouth, they can’t just smell it. But they can spit it out if they don’t like it.” The more familiar kids are with kale, the more likely they’ll be to try it again—either as a child or a grown-up—and like it.
The important thing—and here’s where it gets tricky—is you need to strike a balance between persuasive and argumentative. Although small children are more willing to try new foods, by the time they hit the age of two, saying no to Mommy and Daddy is their way of asserting independence. You don’t want to signal to them that trying broccoli is massively important to you, or they may decide to make avoiding broccoli a defining feature of their personality.
Also, know that kids often model their behavior on that of adults. “The epidemiological literature says that by 15 months the most commonly consumed vegetable is french fries,” says Birch. That’s because the parents are eating like kids, and the kids are copying them. By that same token, having a family meal together, where the kids see you eating varied things, can inspire them to do the same. That just might mean you’ll have to eat dinner before the sun goes down.
I know that I'm a bit late to this party but I wanted to put in my two cents worth. I grew up with the "clean your plate" mentality and it ended up being detrimental to my health because I was not allowed to determine my own food portions. It is a very difficult mindset to get over, especially in restaurants where portions are humongous. On the other hand, I am grateful that I was introduced to...+READ
I know that I'm a bit late to this party but I wanted to put in my two cents worth. I grew up with the "clean your plate" mentality and it ended up being detrimental to my health because I was not allowed to determine my own food portions. It is a very difficult mindset to get over, especially in restaurants where portions are humongous. On the other hand, I am grateful that I was introduced to such a variety of foods that I would never have been willing to try without that extra bit of force from my mother.
With my nieces and nephews, and some day with my own children, I have a "three bite policy" when eating at my home. They are required to eat three small bites of each food in the meal, after which they may decide for themselves if they want to eat more or not. Furthermore, I have a "clean your plate if you want dessert" policy. They are each allowed to scoop their own food onto their plate, but they must eat anything they take if they want dessert. This very quickly taught them to take smaller servings, and usually there is enough conversation that they forget about going back for seconds. They have learned that by the time dessert is finished they are comfortably full but not bursting.-COLLAPSE
It's essential to empower kids to love fruits and veggies. There are SO many constructive ways like coming up with a dish to make together and shopping at your local farmers market. Eating as a family and making food fun will result in kids who decide for themselves to "eat their veggies"!
OK, can I just say that this is becoming my biggest pet peeve about American parents? Do you know what my mother did when I didn't finish my food? Sent me to bed without dinner. Pretty soon I was eating everything.
My child was a picky eater. I didn't dumb down my family menu but she did form dislikes early on. I had a very old and dear friend give me this advice (and her kids grew up to be physicians!) 1. Keep healthful snacks around in the 'fridge. 2. Make a regular family meal and don't substitue for the picky eater but make sure that you put these items on the table as well: peanut butter, bread or...+READ
My child was a picky eater. I didn't dumb down my family menu but she did form dislikes early on. I had a very old and dear friend give me this advice (and her kids grew up to be physicians!) 1. Keep healthful snacks around in the 'fridge. 2. Make a regular family meal and don't substitue for the picky eater but make sure that you put these items on the table as well: peanut butter, bread or rolls, applesauce and carrots and celery sticks. When food is passed around everyone takes what they like. (If the kid only eats these items he/she is still getting vitamins and minerals needed) The point is there are no family arguments -no "eat your veggie" discussions. Kids learn manners ( "No thank you" and "Please pass the ...") Non-picky family members are free to indulge in the "standard" foods as well if they choose to. I did this and one day my daughter just helped herself to a dish she had previously not tried and nothing was said ( I noticed though!). Eventually, after a few years, the 'standard" choices went mostly untouched. I think this practice is respectful of childrens choices allows children to grow and change without undue pressure. If you are worried about proper vitamin intake, supplement with a good multivitamin with calcium. Oh yes, my daughter is now 18 and eats a healthful and varied diet and is extreamly healthy.-COLLAPSE
My step-daughter would only eat mac&cheese, grilled cheese sandwiches and chicken nuggets when i first met her. she would eat some other things if her daddy let her try them. when we started dating, i started having her help me in the kitchen. now she eats almost everything i fix and will in turn tell her momma about it (the momma who prefers to eat out over learning to cook). i was blessed with...+READ
My step-daughter would only eat mac&cheese, grilled cheese sandwiches and chicken nuggets when i first met her. she would eat some other things if her daddy let her try them. when we started dating, i started having her help me in the kitchen. now she eats almost everything i fix and will in turn tell her momma about it (the momma who prefers to eat out over learning to cook). i was blessed with kids who will eat almost anything and love to help prepare the meals. that adds time to meal prep but will help my children in the long run!-COLLAPSE
I have no problem having children who enjoy Japanese food. I did as a kid in the 70s, teriyaki, sukiyaki, etc.
And I know that Cali rolls are made with cooked ingredients - I live here. I eat sushi regularly, and have had plenty of sashimi & cali rolls. My point was that raw fish can be contaminated, just like any raw food, and regardless if I enjoy it or not, it's a little irresponsible to be...+READ
I have no problem having children who enjoy Japanese food. I did as a kid in the 70s, teriyaki, sukiyaki, etc.
And I know that Cali rolls are made with cooked ingredients - I live here. I eat sushi regularly, and have had plenty of sashimi & cali rolls. My point was that raw fish can be contaminated, just like any raw food, and regardless if I enjoy it or not, it's a little irresponsible to be feeding young children raw fish. Again, if you lived in Japan & visited fishmongers regularly, you'd be exempt from my criticism. But in America, most sushi is bought at a restaurant or from a store where it's premade. No one can guarantee that the fish is safe, and a child's life is worth more than the best ahi around. I have no problem risking my own health for a good roll, but wouldn't risk my child's.-COLLAPSE
Phurstluv,
Sushi is a broad category like the "bread"-Cali Rolls are within that category. If you want to criticize parents, for feeding children RAW fish use the word Sashimi for the type of Raw Fish you are speaking of. Apparently, you have never tried various types of Cali rolls that are cooked entirely. Having children who enjoy "Japanese food" makes them open-minded and un-ethnocentric-as...+READ
Phurstluv,
Sushi is a broad category like the "bread"-Cali Rolls are within that category. If you want to criticize parents, for feeding children RAW fish use the word Sashimi for the type of Raw Fish you are speaking of. Apparently, you have never tried various types of Cali rolls that are cooked entirely. Having children who enjoy "Japanese food" makes them open-minded and un-ethnocentric-as you come across. Here is a site for you. http://sushinow.com/whatissushi.htm-COLLAPSE
I can't believe there are people feeding raw fish to 5 year olds. Maybe they eat that way in Japan, but I wouldn't trust that the fish was not contaminated, especially since kids can DIE from salmonella, e. coli, etc.
And for the record, California rolls aren't really SUSHI.
I'm glad others brought up the sensory issue. It is a real problem for some children.
To the poster who said their spouse was "enabling" another couples child by feeding that child what he would eat while in their house - you're not "enabling". That isn't your child to parent, it's someone else's. It isn't your job to make him eat better, healthier, or a more varied diet. Your job is to make...+READ
I'm glad others brought up the sensory issue. It is a real problem for some children.
To the poster who said their spouse was "enabling" another couples child by feeding that child what he would eat while in their house - you're not "enabling". That isn't your child to parent, it's someone else's. It isn't your job to make him eat better, healthier, or a more varied diet. Your job is to make sure he is reasonably comfortable while in your household, because he is your (and your child's) guest. If it bothers you too much to feed chicken nuggets to the kid, because of the hassle/expense/moral issues you may have, you should probably just have that child over after dinner or for non-meal occasions. I personally, as a parent, would be very angry to hear someone commenting about "enablement" with my own child.-COLLAPSE
One last note: maybe my expectations are that of my parents-my kids have to eat EVERYTHING I serve. Thinking about it, my son loves things like baguettes and brie and sushi (cali rolls only), but won't try anything with pickels, mustard or mayonnaise. Hmm
My parents wouldn't allow tantrums at the table, what was served was what I ate-very traditonal hispanic upbringing. As an adult, I have very few things that I don't like. However, feeding my kids, I try my parents approach and I still get the picky eater. I serve American foods 99 percent of the time. Maybe it is genetics more than parenting???? Unless I am just doing it wrong. :-)
Amen! No picky eaters allowed. You can have preferences, things you like and dislike, but you are going to take a bit of everything on the plate. I've got an adventurous 7 year old son and a terribly picky 8 year old cousin. it's getting embarrasing because anytime we are all together to eat and the subject of where to go or what to have comes up my MIL is bound to say, well the Boy will eat...+READ
Amen! No picky eaters allowed. You can have preferences, things you like and dislike, but you are going to take a bit of everything on the plate. I've got an adventurous 7 year old son and a terribly picky 8 year old cousin. it's getting embarrasing because anytime we are all together to eat and the subject of where to go or what to have comes up my MIL is bound to say, well the Boy will eat anything so we don't need to worry about that. It's getting a little embarassing. Not that I'm not proud that he'll eat mostly everything and he knowsthe house rule is to try a bite of anything, no matter what.
But a lot of that I put down to our not be picky eaters as parents, of reaching out and encouraging food experementation, exposing my son to new and different foods, even if my spouse isn't totally one board . Even if I'm not on board ( I hated spinach but was determined to find some ways to bring it onto the menu and I'm making progress.) Let's face it with the exception of kids with bona fide allergies or other medical conditions, there is no reason why kids should not have wide and varied menus and palates.
To that end, I've got no problem asking for different things from the kids menu. Example: we went to our favorite fish restaurant for dinner, the kids menu had fried shrimp and the Boy wanted steamed, plain, cold. I asked and they said sure, no problem. I was so happy that he preferred the clean crisp briney taste of cold steamed shrimp to the greasy fried version I could have cried. The server was practically in shock and the Boy cleaned his plate. He got to have fries instead of the broccoli but the broccoli was a serious contender there for a while. I felt OK about fries since he was having steamed shrimp and lots of extra veggies from my salad. He's learning to make his own good and adventurous choices about food and that's all from modelling, exposure and coaching.
Do we have mac and cheese and hot dog nights, sure, you betcha. Every family needs it's comfort foods, it's easy meals for the nights when the primary cook is sick or just flat unable to cope. But we also have homemade chowder nights (loved), and we try the sushi (Boy loved, hubs not so much) and the raw oysters (not loved by anyone but me :) As my son knows well by know, I am not a short order cook and this is not a restaurant, what I made for dinner is what's for dinner. End of discussion.
And Mawrter you are also correct, the roast chicken doesn't come out the same every week and some weeks the leftovers end up in enchiladas, or a casserole or chicken noodle soup. Something different almost every time, different herbs and spices on the rub, etc. So the scenery is always changing at our family's table. I try to do a 2 week menu rotation with a new item about 1once a week. So there is lots of familiar, a little totally new and even the regular stuff changes a every time I make it. Honestly does YOUR spaghetti sauce come out the same every single time, I know mine doesn't especially 'cause it doesn't come out of a jar. Still, I'm not going to yuck on anyone's yum and I'm just going to have to deal with my SIL and her daughter's picky eating habits. At least it's easy to humor them. I just make sure there is cold ham, unheated hot dogs, raw carrots and plain steamed broccoli and I know that they won't starve at my house. They aren't eating well but at least they won't starve.-COLLAPSE
I have always believed this, but now that I have a kid and see so many of his peers in action, I have had abundant opportunity to see my theory in action: processed food breeds picky eating. There, I said it.
When you cook real food, it comes out different every time.
When you warm up something from a box from a factory, it's the same every time.
This exacting sameness implicitly puts the...+READ
I have always believed this, but now that I have a kid and see so many of his peers in action, I have had abundant opportunity to see my theory in action: processed food breeds picky eating. There, I said it.
When you cook real food, it comes out different every time.
When you warm up something from a box from a factory, it's the same every time.
This exacting sameness implicitly puts the message in the eater's head: "It must be EXACTLY like this, and if it's not, it's wrong. It's gross and weird and possibly unsafe." I don't just mean kids, I mean adults too. And the thing is... that's not totally wrong, because factory food that doesn't conform to specs probably IS gross and weird and possibly unsafe.
The take-home message here, IMNSHO, is to keep the processed food to a minimum. Keep offering a lot of variety. I know a lot of children (and adults!) prefer sameness over novelty in their food. But homemade sameness is NOT the same as industry standard sameness. Those small variations in how, say, the weekly roast chicken comes out, or the spinach with olive oil and garlic got salted... those are what keeps it real and human and interrupts that unconscious belief that food must be exactly one way and if it's not exactly that one way, it's inedible.-COLLAPSE
Last year, I lived for a month with a family in Mexico. There were three kids - aged 3,5 and 6, in the family . At meal times they all ate what the adults were eating: goat, nopales, spicy salsa, stuffed chiles, pickled veggies, you name it. They ate every bite they were given, and then cleared off their plates. No special meals, no whining, no commenting on other peoples' choices. It is all what...+READ
Last year, I lived for a month with a family in Mexico. There were three kids - aged 3,5 and 6, in the family . At meal times they all ate what the adults were eating: goat, nopales, spicy salsa, stuffed chiles, pickled veggies, you name it. They ate every bite they were given, and then cleared off their plates. No special meals, no whining, no commenting on other peoples' choices. It is all what you are used to. It was a really eye opening experience for me (on many levels).-COLLAPSE
I have a hard time with parents that indulge children in extreme pickiness (ie, eating 3 foods and nothing else). I used to teach special needs children and we would see parents who would let their kids just eat junk food all day because they didn't want to put up with the tantrums.
When this goes on too long, children have a hard time with new textures and smells and it really is a very bad...+READ
I have a hard time with parents that indulge children in extreme pickiness (ie, eating 3 foods and nothing else). I used to teach special needs children and we would see parents who would let their kids just eat junk food all day because they didn't want to put up with the tantrums.
When this goes on too long, children have a hard time with new textures and smells and it really is a very bad thing for their nutrition--this, IMO, is why America has such issues with childhood obesity. But then again, I'm not someone who believes in letting kids drink chocolate milk everyday either, for what it's worth.
I don't believe in forcing a kid to eat an entire plate of food they hate by any means, but you have to work in healthy, new foods with other foods they enjoy rather than catering to their every whim. We're raising a generation of Paris Hiltons and Nicole Richies when our kids demand separate meals. My mom would have given me an earful if I let her know that I expected her to cook one meal for she and my dad, and one meal just for me!!
P.S. And who feeds a child a "cream cheese sandwich?" Is this even a real thing?-COLLAPSE
Couple things:
All the comments about one bite and 5 introductions etc. are reasonable and work for most kids. My kids are pretty adventurous.
HOWEVER, there are some kids who have specific sensory issues that make the "wrong" textures or flavors extremely upsetting, or who have emotional issues, allergies, etc. DO have a need to have "different" foods. I think The Sneaky Chef (not the one by...+READ
Couple things:
All the comments about one bite and 5 introductions etc. are reasonable and work for most kids. My kids are pretty adventurous.
HOWEVER, there are some kids who have specific sensory issues that make the "wrong" textures or flavors extremely upsetting, or who have emotional issues, allergies, etc. DO have a need to have "different" foods. I think The Sneaky Chef (not the one by Seinfeld's wife) is wonderful. It helps you make edible versions of kids' comfort foods and offers ways to have kids come around to trying new things.
One of our kids has anxiety problems and when presented with a lovely gourmet menu (Merriman's in Kauai) was horrible one day because there were no burgers. We took him back to the condo and we all had leftovers including grilled fish, steamed veggies etc. The "new" was too much that day. The next day he had grown up food from the same restaurant including salad with beets, cashews, bitter baby greens and vinaigrett, goat cheese turnovers, and a little steak with taro cakes (funny colored). In other words, he was ready to be adventurous. Food is supposed to be nice, not a battle. Sneaky Chef Misy Chase Lapine has some good suggestions and perspectives on this in her book.
P.S. My daughter's best friend is picky and we thought behavioral conditioning would work. It turns out she had raging sensory integration disorder that kept her from eating uncomfortable tastes and textures. Now that everyone knows and her sensory needs are being met, she can eat many more foods without being miserable.-COLLAPSE
Oh JOY! I was at the library last night, and overheard a conversation between a five-year old and her mother: "What would you like to eat for dinner?" "Sushi, please." SUSHI!! and PLEASE!! There is still a little hope left for the world after all! (And we live in small-town Midwest!)
I have friends with a picky five year old who have been coming over quite often to keep me and my extremely nervous husband company while we're expecting (the baby is due in 2 weeks). The husband is great, eats anything and often volunteers to cook. His wife, however, is a vegetarian who constantly brings over leftovers from her mothers, half-wilted vegetables etc. and insists on cooking them...+READ
I have friends with a picky five year old who have been coming over quite often to keep me and my extremely nervous husband company while we're expecting (the baby is due in 2 weeks). The husband is great, eats anything and often volunteers to cook. His wife, however, is a vegetarian who constantly brings over leftovers from her mothers, half-wilted vegetables etc. and insists on cooking them even if I already have dinner on the table when they arrive. Meanwhile her son eats only plain pasta or rice and that must also be cooked (because he either wants one or the other depending on what he had for lunch, and I seem to be unlucky at guessing which). His mother still feeds him and it is perfectly acceptable for him to spit out things he doesn't like or half chewed orange pieces (I've even tried princess cutting them for him. What's left to spit out?). For now, especially considering my pregnancy lethargy, a cold dinner and all of the extra mess to clean up from cooking 3 separate meals is certainly annoying. What I am really worried about though is what will happen when my daughter is exposed to this insanity. I certainly don't want it rubbing off on her.-COLLAPSE
When we had my son, I flat out refused to make different meals for all of us. When he was getting out of the baby food stage, we started replacing some of his baby food with nicely flavored vegetables. Being Italian, I was brought up with a multitude of vegetables with olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper. Plenty of flavor. Nothing was ever bland. At 3 my son was eating salad with balsamic...+READ
When we had my son, I flat out refused to make different meals for all of us. When he was getting out of the baby food stage, we started replacing some of his baby food with nicely flavored vegetables. Being Italian, I was brought up with a multitude of vegetables with olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper. Plenty of flavor. Nothing was ever bland. At 3 my son was eating salad with balsamic dressing. By 5 sushi. He was always made to try something. Even if he made the face, the next time we had it it would appear on his plate to try again. Granted, some things are a bit strong, such as green peppers.....so I would make whatever with the peppers on the side. If he refused to try something or got picky on us.......he was asked to leave the table with the understanding that there would be no snacks before bedtime and he would have to wait until morning to eat again. Picky didn't last long.
My son is almost 11 now and pretty much eats anything. We took him for Indian food the other night to celebrate my birthday and he like it. We eat Vietnamese all of the time, which is now one of his favorites.
He has a friend that comes over and is a nugget eater. My wife is an enabler and feeds him nuggets when he sleeps over which aggravates me. I tell her that she is doing what his parents do and to put our food in front of him and if he eats great...if not.... oh well, breakfast is at 9 am!!!-COLLAPSE
It seems to me that much of the problem with kids' "picky palates" is actually one of not enforcing good eating habits and manners.
My parents are both immigrants; my father grew up on a small farm. When he sat down to a meal, there was no discussion of not liking something, because there was literally nothing else to eat. They never went hungry, but whatever was on the table was abundant and in...+READ
It seems to me that much of the problem with kids' "picky palates" is actually one of not enforcing good eating habits and manners.
My parents are both immigrants; my father grew up on a small farm. When he sat down to a meal, there was no discussion of not liking something, because there was literally nothing else to eat. They never went hungry, but whatever was on the table was abundant and in season, so it was going to be on the menu for a awhile. He learned to eat everything with gusto and gratitude.
I was born and raised here, but my parents used the same tactic as if we were living in the old country. If I didn't like something or didn't finish something, I wasn't forced to eat it at the time. The item was simply put away and nothing else was offered. The next time I was hungry, I had to finish the other item before I could eat anything else, because my parents don't believe in waste. To be sure, I liked some dishes more than others but there was no battle of the wills at the table, and being picky and unappreciative about food was never tolerated.
Now I'm a chowhound. :o)-COLLAPSE
I used to have temper tantrums about veggies as a child - and I would get them cold for breakfast the next morning. It taught me how to get under my parents' skin more than a love of veggies. There's a fine line between encouraging good eating habits and encouraging food to be a weapon of rebellion.
I think a lot of parents forget that kids do have palettes of their own. I've heard time and time...+READ
I used to have temper tantrums about veggies as a child - and I would get them cold for breakfast the next morning. It taught me how to get under my parents' skin more than a love of veggies. There's a fine line between encouraging good eating habits and encouraging food to be a weapon of rebellion.
I think a lot of parents forget that kids do have palettes of their own. I've heard time and time again parents scoff at a child who insists they don't like something with, "Who hates carrots?" or "You will if you try it." I still recall being infuriated by these statements - not only was I being force-fed foods I found distasteful, but held up as some sort of freak. Two things I think are key (and what finally made me an adventurous eater in my tweens/teens once the other kids moved out and it was just my parents and I):
1) Talk to your kids as if they're adults or at least dinner guests. You would neither mock a dinner guest for their preferences nor prepare a whole separate meal if you were not informed early of their needs. When my parents started asking me, "Really? You don't like zucchini? Why not? Do you think you might like it if we prepare it differently next time?" instead of telling me I would like it, it made it about the food itself and not about the power struggle.
2) Let the kids pick the veggies. People say to get kids involved, but washing lettuce is a chore more than fun. We rotated who got to pick which veggie each night, and while we started out with a lot of plain salads on my nights, even I eventually got bored and started trying new things - and found I liked almost all of them.-COLLAPSE
Helena, this is the best thing you've ever written. I have absolutely no complaints about the advice (for once).
Oh, some of them can tell. We acquired a picky eater when she was 16 (we didn't raise her, but her real mom served her cake for breakfast if that's what she wanted, and a lot of fast food.) It seems to be important to her that food taste EXACTLY like it did the last time, and to how she expects it to taste. Her life has been such a turmoil, that it seems the only stability she's had is that fast...+READ
Oh, some of them can tell. We acquired a picky eater when she was 16 (we didn't raise her, but her real mom served her cake for breakfast if that's what she wanted, and a lot of fast food.) It seems to be important to her that food taste EXACTLY like it did the last time, and to how she expects it to taste. Her life has been such a turmoil, that it seems the only stability she's had is that fast food tastes the same every time. Anyway, she often will order something in a restaurant, then taste it and say, "It doesn't taste right" and refuse to eat any more. She did that this morning at Denny's: ate about three bites and left the rest. Luckily, this was the last meal before driving off to college.... I told her when she came to live with us that the rule when I grew up was that you had to taste everything because your taste sometimes changes. She agreed that was fair, so she usually had one bite of most things: but the size of the bite was often so small you could hardly see it.
Oddly, when we go to really expensive restaurants, she usually likes the food. Perhaps her expectations are different?
It makes me glad I never had any kids of my own.-COLLAPSE
im nomad, the kid may not be able to differentiate Philly by taste, but he can see the label. Most likely he's growing up in a brand-name obsessive household.
Remember, if you have never seen a chicken nugget, you can't declare that you will eat nothing else. Likewise for mac-n-cheese and all the other processed crap. Clearly, at some point kids will be in the world, have peers, eat at other people's houses or at school and the jig will be up - but by then it can be in the context of years and years of real food.
It's complicated, though. Some kids...+READ
Remember, if you have never seen a chicken nugget, you can't declare that you will eat nothing else. Likewise for mac-n-cheese and all the other processed crap. Clearly, at some point kids will be in the world, have peers, eat at other people's houses or at school and the jig will be up - but by then it can be in the context of years and years of real food.
It's complicated, though. Some kids (and adults!) have true sensory issues. It can really be hard to distinguish that from a power play. I believe everyone's allowed to have a preference, but at the same time, months and months of a kid's life will go by where the first response to new food, or even previously enjoyed food will be "No!". And no, I don't think you should coddle that nonsense. But at the same time, if the adult gets too pushy about food, then you can create a battle and perhaps even the beginning of a lifelong issue with food.
So no tidy declarations outta me - just be judicious and drown them with good stuff.-COLLAPSE
How in hell does a child know the difference between brand-name and other cream cheese? Gimme a break.
At a certain age, children of food people universally act out through the medium of food - it's what works. As with the famous chef who was shocked to realize that her children would eat only microwave burritos and pasta with bottled spaghetti sauce (they could tell when she tried to doctor them with herbs); the food-writer's kid who ate only potatoes; and the friend's kid who exists solely on...+READ
At a certain age, children of food people universally act out through the medium of food - it's what works. As with the famous chef who was shocked to realize that her children would eat only microwave burritos and pasta with bottled spaghetti sauce (they could tell when she tried to doctor them with herbs); the food-writer's kid who ate only potatoes; and the friend's kid who exists solely on beef and rice. And it doesn't matter how often you let the child pick the pumpkins, wash the salad greens or help prepare the chard gratin. The phase will pass.-COLLAPSE
Boston Otter, I think that this young fellow does need some help. This is not only about health, it's also about social deportment. What will he do when he's an adult working for a living and there's a business lunch at a place that doesn't serve chicken strips or pizza? Or a dinner party at someone's house, and the host is serving neither of those dishes?
My housemate's nephew, age 12, still refuses to eat any foods besides chicken fingers and pizza. That's it. We've taken him to many restaurants, and tried everything to cajole him into trying vegetables, meat, even pasta. No go. Just chicken fingers. If they're not provided, he simply refuses to eat -- for days at a time. I foresee lots of doctors and therapy in his future.
As the parent of two young children who were both picky eaters, when my third child was born, I decided to go a different route with my her; it worked. To Begin with, with the first two, I had done the typical American style of feeding..starting with strained, bland, pureed (usually home-made) fruits, veggies, cereals and eventually meats, and then transitioning slowly to more seasoned, textured...+READ
As the parent of two young children who were both picky eaters, when my third child was born, I decided to go a different route with my her; it worked. To Begin with, with the first two, I had done the typical American style of feeding..starting with strained, bland, pureed (usually home-made) fruits, veggies, cereals and eventually meats, and then transitioning slowly to more seasoned, textured foods. This was a nightmare. The older two lived for the few times they could get their hands on fast food, or sweets. They complained about the foods that i either required them to eat, or go hungry. So, when my third child was born, I simply did what was easy and natural; I kept her with me at the table, and when she was old enough to be trying to grab food off of my plate, i fed her little bits of (yummy, seasoned, smashed up) food from her own spoon, or handed to her for her to feed to herself. Her first ''real' meal at the table consisted of mashed, homemade chicken and dumplings. Later, as she ate more food, I would serve myself extra, sit her at her own chair and take a small amount of food from my plate (while she watched, but before the meal), and put it onto hers. I made a lot of homemade soups and stews during that period of time, and her favorite was Chicken Gumbo! She still looks eagerly at anything I'm eating, and asks..."Mom, did you make any extra?!" Now, she's learning to cook!-COLLAPSE
As a kid we learned that we ate what was put on our plate, and if we refused we were free to go to bed without dinner. Of course after a couple of times of getting the same plate served to us for breakfast the next day, we learned to eat what my mother cooked.
Parents who let their children dictate how they will behave, what they will eat, etc, are not doing their job. The writer should put a...+READ
As a kid we learned that we ate what was put on our plate, and if we refused we were free to go to bed without dinner. Of course after a couple of times of getting the same plate served to us for breakfast the next day, we learned to eat what my mother cooked.
Parents who let their children dictate how they will behave, what they will eat, etc, are not doing their job. The writer should put a well balanced meal in front of the child, and let him (there is no need to make it to strange, but it should have vegs, a protein, etc) and eat it or sit there all night. She can incorporate his favorites on occasion, say mac and cheese with a meatloaf and some green beans, but she is doing him and herself no favors by not teaching the child to eat properly now.-COLLAPSE
This child needs a lesson in manners! I would have been in such big trouble...but then again, my parents would NEVER have brought food for me. I just would not have gone. I was taught that restaurants and parties are a privilege, and if I cannot respect the host and other guests, I was not allowed to attend. (This didn't happen, but it was sure threatened.) My parents (and I am 20, so it is still...+READ
This child needs a lesson in manners! I would have been in such big trouble...but then again, my parents would NEVER have brought food for me. I just would not have gone. I was taught that restaurants and parties are a privilege, and if I cannot respect the host and other guests, I was not allowed to attend. (This didn't happen, but it was sure threatened.) My parents (and I am 20, so it is still recently that I was a young one) fed us. We ate what was there or we didn't eat. As we got older (and they got more experimental), if we didn't like what was made (and we did have to try it) we could make our own dinner. I now eat pretty much anything, and even though I had certain picky habits when I was younger, I am so willing to try things again and again in different ways, that I often end up liking the food. For example, I hated the shrimp cocktail my grandma served for Christmas appetizer every year (and still does) but I just discovered I dislike cold shrimp, but cooked shrimp are divine :D I also love Indian (it is the most requested birthday dinner in our family amongst the 3 of us kids), Mexican (authentic of course :D), Puerto Rican (I bribe my Puerto Rican friend at school to cook for me every once in a while...), Japanese, etc. I love it all :D
I think that the key is repetition and refusal to baby the child. This kid has clearly been catered too. I say the parents stop bringing the pasta and start making her eat what's served, or not eat at all. Also, try getting the girl into the kitchen. I have helped cook from too early an age to know that if I help make something, I am far more likely to eat it.-COLLAPSE
We don't have kids. Perhaps that's why I just don't understand why parents allow their children to get away with such horrendous behavior.
I know mothers who're short-order cooks for their kids. I see parents and their kids at our restaurant -- and what's a pleasant mealtime for most people instead becomes a two-hour-long drama complete with screaming and crying. What the heck is up with that?...+READ
We don't have kids. Perhaps that's why I just don't understand why parents allow their children to get away with such horrendous behavior.
I know mothers who're short-order cooks for their kids. I see parents and their kids at our restaurant -- and what's a pleasant mealtime for most people instead becomes a two-hour-long drama complete with screaming and crying. What the heck is up with that? When I was a child, we ate what was on our plate or we didn't eat.
Chicken nuggets are not on the menu at our restaurant. More than once, I've been sternly admonished by parents for failing to provide them. We have white meat chicken chunks -- hand-made, not frozen -- that're battered and deep fried. Don't you know that some kids don't prefer the *real* chicken? Yep, some kids prefer the gelatinous rubber that is a chicken nugget.
Apple sauce is not on our menu. Maybe it ought to be given how often it's requested. We added french fries to the menu only after getting request after request -- from parents of children who'd eat nothing but french fries for dinner when out at the restaurant.
Finally, there was the 16-year-old daughter of a good friend. She appeared to be eating *nothing.* Breakfast is a glass of O.J., lunch a yogurt and perhaps an apple for dinner. My friend couldn't see that her daughter was taunting her -- my friend would go nuts trying to "get her daughter to eat." It all came out in the wash when my friend gradually discovered that her "anorexic" turned out to have a huge appetite -- when eating at other people's homes. Guess who's in counseling with her daughter now?-COLLAPSE
Sparkina, I completely agree and it's been a huge bone of contention in the family for years. The only good thing is that she's now old enough to stay home by herself so for the past six months she's been absent for family get-togethers at restaurants. It's been bliss. :)
Not to offend Mandalay, but I think that a girl who is practically a teen throwing a tantrum -- an infant-style tantrum -- if she has to see people eating foods that are revolting to her - - that is a behavioral issue. This is clearly a young person who needs to be taught how to behave in social company. What if she goes on a dinner date when she's older and the gentleman orders, say, squid?
...+READ
Not to offend Mandalay, but I think that a girl who is practically a teen throwing a tantrum -- an infant-style tantrum -- if she has to see people eating foods that are revolting to her - - that is a behavioral issue. This is clearly a young person who needs to be taught how to behave in social company. What if she goes on a dinner date when she's older and the gentleman orders, say, squid?
Yes, kids are people too and they have likes and dislikes, but this is taking things to excess. Likes and dislikes should be respected, but at the same time, kids do need to learn to develop a taste for other foods besides mac and cheese, chicken nuggets and packaged snacks-COLLAPSE
I remember too, when I was growing up, that my father had to forbid use of the word "disgusting" at the dinner table. My little sister was a picky eater and found quite a bit of the delicious food my mom served "disgusting". I suppose there are two issues here: nutrition and manners. Freaking out because of what's on other people's plates is a manners issue and should be dealt with as such.
A little salt and a little butter go a long way.
There's also the old, "You don't have to eat it, but you're not getting anything else." I have yet to hear of a picky kid starving to death.
Sounds like a younger version of my 15 year old stepdaughter. I dread dinnertime as she not only declines to eat most foods but is most vocal about her dislikes. She also makes the ugliest faces--I refuse to take her to parties because her behavior is offensive and insulting to the hosts. (Apparently her mother rasied her to be a stranger to basic manners as well as to fruits, vegetables, cheese,...+READ
Sounds like a younger version of my 15 year old stepdaughter. I dread dinnertime as she not only declines to eat most foods but is most vocal about her dislikes. She also makes the ugliest faces--I refuse to take her to parties because her behavior is offensive and insulting to the hosts. (Apparently her mother rasied her to be a stranger to basic manners as well as to fruits, vegetables, cheese, rice, beans, and seafood.)-COLLAPSE
Kids are human beings and every human being has his or her own individual tastes. Sometimes that can be improved, sometimes it can't.
I come from parents who are very open minded eaters. My mother is a bit of a health nut. My father is a chowhound extraordinaire. Yet I was the pickiest child out there. Actually, that's not totally true. I had a better variety of diet than many of the nightmare...+READ
Kids are human beings and every human being has his or her own individual tastes. Sometimes that can be improved, sometimes it can't.
I come from parents who are very open minded eaters. My mother is a bit of a health nut. My father is a chowhound extraordinaire. Yet I was the pickiest child out there. Actually, that's not totally true. I had a better variety of diet than many of the nightmare kids I read about (I loved carrot sticks, tomato sauce on my pasta, and serveral varieties of fruit). I was quirky as all get-out. I hated pizza and mac-and-cheeese because I didn't like warm cheese dishes (only ate cheese cold).
I warmed up to many foods, but I will tell you that no matter how open-minded and healthy my parents were, there was just NO WAY they were going to get me to eat certain things. I wouldn't eat fish as a kid even though everyone else in my family ate it. I continue to go through life hating seafood. I know what I don't like.
Kids should be allowed to dislike things. Even as an adult I hate being told I'm weird or bad or wrong for not liking fish (which can happen on CH). Kids should be allowed to feel safe having an opinion.
My husband is picky, but because I love cooking, I have gotten him to be more adventurous with many foods he refused to eat in the past. Not so much with his brother who sticks to mostly steak and potatoes. He can afford to eat out a lot, so he does, where he can order what he likes. He avoids eating at people's homes so he won't offend anyone when he refuses to eat what they serve.-COLLAPSE
Josie's right- kids need good examples to follow. My son went through a few picky stages, but we were determined to at least expose him to new things. He's now 21 and a very openminded and adventurous diner, as are most of his friends. I nearly drove myself crazy cooking dinners after work every darn night for so many years, but I did learn to cook well and he had maximal nutrition from eating...+READ
Josie's right- kids need good examples to follow. My son went through a few picky stages, but we were determined to at least expose him to new things. He's now 21 and a very openminded and adventurous diner, as are most of his friends. I nearly drove myself crazy cooking dinners after work every darn night for so many years, but I did learn to cook well and he had maximal nutrition from eating what I made for him instead of a lot of junk food.
I rarely have desserts or sweets in the house, or sodas. He used to tease me that he was ice cream-deprived. The upshot of that, I think, is that he's so far bucked the overweight tendency that runs roughshod through all sides of his family.-COLLAPSE
I can't add anything new to the already excellent suggestions above, but I will say for emphasis that kids learn by example. We don't have junk food in the house, junior eats what we're eating; if he protests, he's told that we are not running a restaurant. He doesn't love everything but he does eat everything. Of course he has had candy, cookies, cake-but these are occasional treats, not...+READ
I can't add anything new to the already excellent suggestions above, but I will say for emphasis that kids learn by example. We don't have junk food in the house, junior eats what we're eating; if he protests, he's told that we are not running a restaurant. He doesn't love everything but he does eat everything. Of course he has had candy, cookies, cake-but these are occasional treats, not everyday occurrences. He still has Halloween candy for crying out loud!
My point is, now is our time to set a good example for him. It benefits all of us. Later on there will be other influences-right now, it's us...-COLLAPSE
The OP doesn't state how old the picky eater is, so it is difficult to judge what kind of advice to offer. But I agree with the posters who say that by catering to his 3 specific food items, you're just perpetuating the problem. If he is 3, he'll probably outgrow it. If he is 8, its time for a meal where NONE of those things are served. Let him go to bed hungry. More than once, if necessary. As a...+READ
The OP doesn't state how old the picky eater is, so it is difficult to judge what kind of advice to offer. But I agree with the posters who say that by catering to his 3 specific food items, you're just perpetuating the problem. If he is 3, he'll probably outgrow it. If he is 8, its time for a meal where NONE of those things are served. Let him go to bed hungry. More than once, if necessary. As a parent, you ARE in control of the situation.
As as for an 11 year old girl who will "cry and pout that she has to look at people "eating gross things" even if she has her pasta" -- she would be invited to leave MY table (even if she were MY neice) until she learned how to behave. Eleven is WAY too old for that kind of nonsense in any situation. I have a niece who is 16. She has been a vegetarian since she was 9. She's perfectly healthy, and due to the fact that her mother (my sister) is NOT an interesting cook (she's of the chicken-nugget-mac-n-cheese school) she has been preparing her own meals for a long time. We can take her to any restuarant and she never whines or complains that there is nothing for her to eat. We often swap recipes via e-mail for good, non-meat dishes to try. Her palate is always expanding and she's definitely my favorite vegetarian!-COLLAPSE
We have a 2 bite rule - our daughter (3 years old) has to have at least 2 bites of everything on the plate. And she pretty much loves everything. There are things she likes more than others, but she's very open-minded. We also go out to eat at adult type places a lot, and she likes the attention she gets for eating "adult" foods (last night the waiters were cooing over her love of the poppadums...+READ
We have a 2 bite rule - our daughter (3 years old) has to have at least 2 bites of everything on the plate. And she pretty much loves everything. There are things she likes more than others, but she's very open-minded. We also go out to eat at adult type places a lot, and she likes the attention she gets for eating "adult" foods (last night the waiters were cooing over her love of the poppadums and vindalooo). And I agree with iowastate - travel helps a lot.
My mother in law gave me excellent advice when our daughter was born: she won't go hungry. Don't make any foods especially for her.-COLLAPSE
I was very picky as a child and would not experiment from anything other than bland standard American dishes and would not let my foods touch each other on the plate or I would not eat them.
Now there is nothing I will not eat. you learn as you grow.
Service helps a lot and travel to other parts of the world.
Send the little nipper to military school. He'll straighten out.quickly.
Honestly I'm an excellent cook ..will try just about anything so will my husband ..so that is not our problem.
This is really tricky. i believe the best thing is to lead by example - to cook great food - not keep crap in the house - and not make a big issue about what your kids eat. I just wrote a post about leaving out cookies and milk AND healthy foods for Santa. See here:
http://www.snack-girl.com/
My husband and I have a picky eater ..she's now 17 and still only has a few foods she'll eat ...and we tried the whole just take a nibble ...no supper (just milk and some fruit) and NOTHING worked :) She's always been strong minded and she is our only child....so we kept trying anything we could bribery ..you name it ..And as I stated NOTHING helped..and so when she reached her teens we gave up...+READ
My husband and I have a picky eater ..she's now 17 and still only has a few foods she'll eat ...and we tried the whole just take a nibble ...no supper (just milk and some fruit) and NOTHING worked :) She's always been strong minded and she is our only child....so we kept trying anything we could bribery ..you name it ..And as I stated NOTHING helped..and so when she reached her teens we gave up trying wholeheartedly (it was the source of every family argument ..her eating habits that was). And though giving up that made me feel like a complete failture as a parent ..the family as a whole is much happier. She now eats the foods she wants and they haven't really changed in years (which thankfully include raw veggies, fruit and nutts ) And she's a Very healthy slim girl ...a very healthy strong minded girl. Who will be off to univercity next year and feeding herself 100% .....now that should be interesting!!-COLLAPSE
Here's a thought....stop making the mac n cheese, cream cheese sandwiches, and baked potatoes. If the kid gets hungry enough, he'll eat what everyone else eats. Take away the snacks and junk food. It's not as much a food issue as a control issue. The child sees he can "make" mom cater to him if he wants it. The parent needs to learn to be in control, and the child needs to see the parent is in...+READ
Here's a thought....stop making the mac n cheese, cream cheese sandwiches, and baked potatoes. If the kid gets hungry enough, he'll eat what everyone else eats. Take away the snacks and junk food. It's not as much a food issue as a control issue. The child sees he can "make" mom cater to him if he wants it. The parent needs to learn to be in control, and the child needs to see the parent is in control. If the parent doesn't learn to control this child now, they're in for a long 18+ years.-COLLAPSE
What is this world coming to? A bunch of thoughtful comments on Helena's topic without backbiting or recrimination.
And nobody called her an alc.
Peace on earth, goodwill toward both men and women.
I actually was a terribly picky eater as a kid. It was a texture thing with semi-soft foods. Mashed potatoes, oatmeal, even jello would make me gag, and I'd sit at the dinner table where I was not allowed to leave until that food was gone. I became really good at hiding/throwing away stuff. I was also really squeamish (still am) and it doesn't take much to put me off my meal. Bad combination for...+READ
I actually was a terribly picky eater as a kid. It was a texture thing with semi-soft foods. Mashed potatoes, oatmeal, even jello would make me gag, and I'd sit at the dinner table where I was not allowed to leave until that food was gone. I became really good at hiding/throwing away stuff. I was also really squeamish (still am) and it doesn't take much to put me off my meal. Bad combination for a kid.
I got over it and actually quite like both mashed potatoes and oatmeal. So, I'm not terribly worried when I see my kid going through the same sort of thing. Sometimes I'll try to press him a little to get him to try something and he'll start to gag. I'll give him a break on that, knowing how nasty it is to try to choke something down. He's picky but not as bad as some. When he was a baby, I made my own baby food and he ate all vegetables (I was particularly proud of the big piles o' kale he'd chow down). Once he hit 3-4 years old, the pickiness set in and we're down to maybe four acceptable vegetables (carrots, cherry tomatoes, green beans, and baby corn).
We're a spicy food family and I'm not going to make my son eat spicy if it makes him cry. It's just easier to make him a hard boiled egg on curry night. Still, we work with him and try to get him to sample stuff but I think there are limits to the amount of warfare I want to wage at dinnertime trying to get a meal into him.-COLLAPSE
Rose Pearl, I completely agree with your first paragraph, but not the second. I do not believe in kids getting any servings of entrees that are different than what everyone else in the family is getting.
A friend of mine grew up in a family with7 kids. If she didn't eat her meal, there were 6 other kid willing to eat it, and she would go to bed hungry. Not surprisingly, there were no picky...+READ
Rose Pearl, I completely agree with your first paragraph, but not the second. I do not believe in kids getting any servings of entrees that are different than what everyone else in the family is getting.
A friend of mine grew up in a family with7 kids. If she didn't eat her meal, there were 6 other kid willing to eat it, and she would go to bed hungry. Not surprisingly, there were no picky eaters in that family. I think pickiness in a luxury of having too many other choices (and parents being willing to provide them for you).
The situation that Sebetti describes, with a child who has preferred vegetables is (in my mind) entirely different. She is still being offered a broad range of foods and parents aren't cooking her something different. My guess is that since she was exposed to different flavors early on, she'll eventually come back around to them later. My son went through a phase where he didn't like salad, but would eat all components separately. So he did get served a deconstructed salad. Finally I realized that what he didn't like was the dressing, so now he just gets his plain. I do think the questionable food at least should make it to the plate so they need to look at it. Kids should also be taught not to comment on what others are eating.-COLLAPSE
However, things should never get to such a state. What is going on in the heads of the parents of such a child?
Child sits at table with everyone else. Dinner is served. If child doesn't eat, child will feel hungry later and eat, or mumble and cry to self with empty belly.
If you are truly worried about child starving to death from missing one meal, offer a small portion of mac and cheese or whatever. However, everyone else can have as much as they want; picky child gets their one portion, then either...+READ
Child sits at table with everyone else. Dinner is served. If child doesn't eat, child will feel hungry later and eat, or mumble and cry to self with empty belly.
If you are truly worried about child starving to death from missing one meal, offer a small portion of mac and cheese or whatever. However, everyone else can have as much as they want; picky child gets their one portion, then either partakes of the rest of dinner, or goes hungry. It helps if there's a yummy desert afterward.
Oh, and one glass of milk; that's it.
By the way, a pet peeve of mine is seeing all the toddlers running around with sippy cups full of juice or milk or, (dear god!), soda. No wonder they don't have a healthy appetite!-COLLAPSE
I have a friend of a friend who is an adult picky eater. She literally has the palate of a 5 year old, but she's 28. Chicken, well done steak, anything fried, and very few veggies are acceptable to her. She likes iceberg lettuce and broccoli with cheese.
She is overweight, has bad skin, and is a social nightmare. She wont go to most restaurants because there wont be food she likes. I have no...+READ
I have a friend of a friend who is an adult picky eater. She literally has the palate of a 5 year old, but she's 28. Chicken, well done steak, anything fried, and very few veggies are acceptable to her. She likes iceberg lettuce and broccoli with cheese.
She is overweight, has bad skin, and is a social nightmare. She wont go to most restaurants because there wont be food she likes. I have no idea what she will do once her health takes a turn and the doctor tells her to eat healthy. Her idea of healthy is a frozen, processed, high in sodium diet entree.
Apparently, she was like this as a child and her parents weren't adventurous eaters, so they never encouraged her to try new things.-COLLAPSE
She was nursed until she was about a year old then she was weaned onto cereal, mostly soggy mushed-up Cheerios in milk IIRC. When this first started the general belief was that she had trouble with textures but she refused stuff like applesauce, pudding, mashed potatoes, etc. I did see her drink milk a couple of times when she was maybe four or five but that's it as far as other food goes. The...+READ
She was nursed until she was about a year old then she was weaned onto cereal, mostly soggy mushed-up Cheerios in milk IIRC. When this first started the general belief was that she had trouble with textures but she refused stuff like applesauce, pudding, mashed potatoes, etc. I did see her drink milk a couple of times when she was maybe four or five but that's it as far as other food goes. The problem is not so much the food itself but her behavior and the fact that her parents don't curb it. If there's any hope it's that she's reaching the age where she cares about what her friends think of her and apparently there's kids that tease her about the food and tantrums. It's either going to be that or a health problem that hopefully will wake her--and her parents--up.-COLLAPSE
Just curious, MandalayVA, so your 11-year-old niece has never, ever had candy, right? Just pasta and ice cream her entire life?
I believe it too because I have someone like that in my family. I have an eleven-year-old niece who literally eats nothing but buttered pasta (it has to be either ziti, penne or elbows) and vanilla ice cream--including pasta for breakfast--and has done so since about the age of two. Her mother, my husband's sister, who ironically is a fairly adventurous eater and good cook, will literally bring a...+READ
I believe it too because I have someone like that in my family. I have an eleven-year-old niece who literally eats nothing but buttered pasta (it has to be either ziti, penne or elbows) and vanilla ice cream--including pasta for breakfast--and has done so since about the age of two. Her mother, my husband's sister, who ironically is a fairly adventurous eater and good cook, will literally bring a container of pasta to someone's house or even a restaurant so that she can have it. Not only that, but at family gatherings she will cry and pout that she has to look at people "eating gross things" even if she has her pasta. Apparently her doctor doesn't have a problem with this since she's in good health (for now) and will choke down a couple of gummy vitamins every day. Her parents' rationale is that she's growing normally and is not overweight so it can't be doing that much harm, while completely ignoring that their nearly pubescent daughter throws tantrums worthy of a toddler if she doesn't get her desired pasta shape. A few months of picky eating is par for the course for pretty much every kid, but I have to question a parent's cluelessness when she throws fits because she has to watch other people eating. That isn't a phase--that's an eating disorder.-COLLAPSE
My 3 year old has suddenly turned into a (relatively) picky eater. Things that were loved just 6 months ago are now being rejected. I don't make completely special meals for my child but I am serving 'preferred veggies' more often than not that aren't always making it to the parents plate.
My whole goal is to NOT make a big deal out of it. It's just a phase, it will pass and I don't want to...+READ
My 3 year old has suddenly turned into a (relatively) picky eater. Things that were loved just 6 months ago are now being rejected. I don't make completely special meals for my child but I am serving 'preferred veggies' more often than not that aren't always making it to the parents plate.
My whole goal is to NOT make a big deal out of it. It's just a phase, it will pass and I don't want to prolong it or make it a battle (but it better damn well be cleared up by asparagus season!).-COLLAPSE
Great advice, mountaincachers. I refused to be a short order cook for my children when they were young. I used to insist that they have one small serving of everything prepared for dinner. That caused more than a little dinnertime angst. Looking back, it probably would have been better to prepare their plates with reasonable amounts of food and let them stop (even if it meant they didn't eat...+READ
Great advice, mountaincachers. I refused to be a short order cook for my children when they were young. I used to insist that they have one small serving of everything prepared for dinner. That caused more than a little dinnertime angst. Looking back, it probably would have been better to prepare their plates with reasonable amounts of food and let them stop (even if it meant they didn't eat certain things) when they wished. Then, close the kitchen until breakfast.-COLLAPSE
In rereading Helena's advice, I am bothered by the last line, which implies that kids and adults are eating dinner at different times. Family mealtimes are so important and linked to all kinds of better outcomes for children (including improved school performance and decreased chances for drug use) Kids also should be encouraged to help with meal preparation. They are much more likely to eat what...+READ
In rereading Helena's advice, I am bothered by the last line, which implies that kids and adults are eating dinner at different times. Family mealtimes are so important and linked to all kinds of better outcomes for children (including improved school performance and decreased chances for drug use) Kids also should be encouraged to help with meal preparation. They are much more likely to eat what they have helped prepare, plus they are learning to cook at the same time.-COLLAPSE
I am a pediatrician, and I see plenty of kids who will "only eat" one thing...usually chicken nuggets, though sometimes mac and cheese. For my own child, I avoided chicken nuggets like the plague, because I have had so many parents report this to me. This seems only to be a problem in a country with an abundance of cheap, fatty, sweet foods. I think there are several contributing factors.
1....+READ
I am a pediatrician, and I see plenty of kids who will "only eat" one thing...usually chicken nuggets, though sometimes mac and cheese. For my own child, I avoided chicken nuggets like the plague, because I have had so many parents report this to me. This seems only to be a problem in a country with an abundance of cheap, fatty, sweet foods. I think there are several contributing factors.
1. People dumb down their children's diet very early. For some reason, they think toddlers need bland food. Take a peek at a kids menu...yuck. Kids should be eating what their parents eat (choking risk foods aside). This only works if parents are modeling good eating habits themselves.
2. As pointed out above, young kids don't need a lot of calories, so if they walk around with a juice cup all the time, they may not be that hungry at dinner.
3. Parents worry too much about their kids starving if they don't eat. When the kids don't eat what is being served at dinner, parents become short order cooks. Most kids figure out that they can hold out for something they like better. Healthy children won't let themselves starve...if you are concerned about your child not eating, have your pediatrician check their weight.
I am a believer in "parents provide, kids decide" at mealtime. Parents should choose what they are providing for dinner, then the kids can eat or not eat as they choose. (This avoids mealtime bartering, fighting, etc). However, if the kids don't eat, parents need to say "breakfast is tomorrow morning at 7." If the child reports being hungry an hour later, he can be presented with the same food he was given at mealtime.
I firmly believe you are doing your child a favor, both from a health and social standpoint to actively discourage picky eating.-COLLAPSE
ChristinaMason -- yep, that's the link. Funny, I copied and pasted it right over. *shrug*
Pretty much all small kids go through a picky eater stage. Extreme Picky Eating is also linked to genetics (fear of new foods) and it's probably a good thing that some of us humans aren't interested in trying those new berries on that new bush.
Research shows it may take 2 or 3 weeks of presenting a new food for kids to get comfortable with it. The first few times, it's still a new bush. The...+READ
Pretty much all small kids go through a picky eater stage. Extreme Picky Eating is also linked to genetics (fear of new foods) and it's probably a good thing that some of us humans aren't interested in trying those new berries on that new bush.
Research shows it may take 2 or 3 weeks of presenting a new food for kids to get comfortable with it. The first few times, it's still a new bush. The next few times they may not mind looking at it, but won't touch it. Then they'll try it but spit it out. Then they're take a few bites.
Patience, patience parents, patience.
Also, parents should know that kids' caloric needs drop (in proportion to body weight) around 3 years old. They're just not growing as fast. So limit nutrient-empty foods and give lots of healthy options (does mac n' cheese count as healthy? I'm not entirely sure). Very few kids would starve themselves. They'll be fine.
Patience, patience, patience.
And lost of healthy options over and over and over.-COLLAPSE
noramunro, that link was broken, but here it is: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/family/6712328/The-secret-to-getting-toddlers-to-eat---picture-books.html
Fake letter? Does the commenter who thinks that know any real small children?
There was an article in one of the British newspapers recently about a study that showed kids who read books about unfamiliar foods first were more likely to be willing to try them later.
Ah, here it is: The secret to getting toddlers to eat -- picture books. The study was done at Reading University.
“Just ask them to take a small taste … they have to put it in their mouth, they can’t just smell it. But they can spit it out if they don’t like it.”
That's a nice table-side habit to nurture!
I believe it. I once knew a kid, Lance, who only liked pizza and pancakes. When I babysat at my house it was cheap to feed him. His mom said it was because she let him have a bottle way longer than most kids have one. This kid even hated hot dogs. I wish I hadn't lost contact with Lance and his mom so I could say whether or not he grew out of it. But I did read a study that said kids like and eat...+READ
I believe it. I once knew a kid, Lance, who only liked pizza and pancakes. When I babysat at my house it was cheap to feed him. His mom said it was because she let him have a bottle way longer than most kids have one. This kid even hated hot dogs. I wish I hadn't lost contact with Lance and his mom so I could say whether or not he grew out of it. But I did read a study that said kids like and eat what the dad eats. My next door neighbor loved broccoli and the like but her kids would only eat corn and maybe carrots, that's all the veggies their father would eat. I wasn't a fan of broccoli myself as a child but the first time I tasted stir fry broccoli I was like, where have you been all my life? So I guess there is hope.-COLLAPSE
Sounds like a fake letter to me. The OP's child eats only mac and cheese, baked potato/cheese and cream cheese sandwiches - and nothing else. Really? No candy? No cookies? No chips? No hamburgers? No French fries? Yeah, right. I can see the kid trick-or-treating at someone's front door: "Trick or baked potato!"
If there is a grain of truth to this, it isn't the child's fault; it's simply bad...+READ
Sounds like a fake letter to me. The OP's child eats only mac and cheese, baked potato/cheese and cream cheese sandwiches - and nothing else. Really? No candy? No cookies? No chips? No hamburgers? No French fries? Yeah, right. I can see the kid trick-or-treating at someone's front door: "Trick or baked potato!"
If there is a grain of truth to this, it isn't the child's fault; it's simply bad parenting.-COLLAPSE