Crack-Coated Crack

Mint Fudge and Pure White Fudge Covered Oreo Chocolate Sandwich Cookies

Mint Fudge and Pure White Fudge Covered Oreo Chocolate Sandwich Cookies

I Paid: $3.29 per 7.5-ounce box (prices may vary by region)

Taste: 4 stars

Marketing: 1 stars

The holidays are, in the United States, a time for gatherings, a time for defensive drinking, and a time for cookies. And while most store-bought cookies may feel a little impersonal and businesslike for a season of family get-togethers and catching up with old friends, nothing quite says “conviviality” and “love” like taking a bunch of freaking Oreos and covering them in a high-fructose-corn-syrup-based mystery confection euphemistically referred to as “fudge.”

The white fudge–covered Oreos are kind of a wash on the flavor front; imagine covering an Oreo in its own filling, but somehow making that filling a bit crunchy, and not at all sticky, and voilà! They aren’t great, but if you’re in the mood for an Oreo with a little something extra, these will fill the bill.

The mint fudge–covered Oreos, on the other hand, are basically dark little circles of crack-coated crack. If you like Thin Mints Girl Scout Cookies, well, guess what: Nabisco has sandwiched an Oreo between two or three Thin Mints’ worth of crunchy, minty chocolate. That’s correct: a cookie so dangerous that you’re best off not even looking at it, let alone inviting it into your pantry.

Each white fudge–covered Oreo—pardon me, each “serving,” which is defined as one cookie—contains 100 calories, so take it easy as you hoover them down. Or consider the mint fudge–covered alternative, which weighs in at a slimming 90 calories per Oreo. See if it’s possible to eat fewer than 270 calories at a sitting. I challenge you.

James Norton edits the Upper Midwestern food journal Heavy Table. He's also the coauthor of a book on Wisconsin's master cheesemakers. Follow CHOW on Twitter, and become a fan on Facebook.