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Dear Helena,
I dread holiday season at work. First people bring in their leftover Halloween candy, then they start leaving one-pound bags of seasonally wrapped Hershey’s Kisses in the kitchen, and then it’s the holiday cookies. I know people are trying to be nice, but I have weight issues. And I’m not the only one who has developed “cankles” while working here. We have a smoke- and asbestos-free workplace, don’t we have the right to a candy-free workplace too? How should I deal with this?
—Fistful of M&M’s
Dear Fistful of M&M’s,
Here’s what you should not do: send out an email asking colleagues not to bring in treats. Nor should you approach your boss and ask him to mandate that employees not share any foods other than baby carrots. Trust me, you do not want to become known around the office as the kill-joy who tried to ban fun-size Milky Ways. (I disagree here with the New York Times’ Ethicist, who recently addressed a similar issue.)
If you try to outlaw candy, you’ll be depriving your co-workers of more than just an afternoon lift. Sharing treats is an important office bonding ritual. Chloe Krumel, who works for a sweater company in New York, says her co-workers like to please one another by bringing in different regional snacks from their travels: “Fritos has a style of chip called Chili Cheese that you can’t get in New York.” The bonding effect won’t be the same if you’re sharing Ryvita. It’s like sneaking out for a cigarette with a colleague: In both cases, part of the fun comes from sharing something forbidden (not that I’m recommending the consumption of cigarettes or Fritos—I’m just trying to protect you from the ire of your co-workers).
In fairness, not everyone who brings in snacks is motivated by team spirit. Caterina Rindi, an educator in San Francisco, confesses that at her last job, “whenever I had leftover anything I wanted to get rid of, I brought it in to work and left it in the communal kitchen. It was usually gone in an hour. Candy, bagels I didn’t like, bad cake, etc. I thought the whole operation was rather more efficient than composting things, but I certainly wasn’t doing anyone any favors.”
It’s hard to stay healthy when the office kitchen is a dumping ground for any treat your co-workers don’t want tempting them at home. Nonetheless, your diet is your responsibility. You don’t have a choice about inhaling secondhand smoke or asbestos particles, but no one is forcing you to dip your hand into the office candy jar.
Happily, there are ways to combat overindulgence other than depriving everyone else. Dan Stein, a professional mediator with experience resolving workplace disputes, suggests approaching cake-bringers and asking them individually if they could support you in your diet by not offering any to you. (Don’t do this when someone is right in the middle of the act of offering, otherwise he or she may feel personally rejected.)
You can also enlist your boss’s help by asking him to create an informal office wellness program. He’ll be on board if you point out that it could mean fewer sick days. Instead of banning unhealthy foods, such a program could institute changes that make it easier to be healthy. For instance, your boss could spring for a weekly fruit delivery. You’ll still have to resist the cookie platter, but at least you’ll have the option of reaching for an apple.
This is the most ridiculous thing I have read for a long time. I wonder how many of these irresponsible people hiding among us. Seriously. Next thing I know, people will tell me not to microwave my lunch because the warm food smell makes them thinks of foods.
Interesting thread. I remember my friend had a co-worker who would come and scold others if they were laughing, as it interfered with her concentration. Funny I should remember that now. :) I had a job once at a small business owned by a husband and wife team and it was not a good place to work at all. For reasons too boring to get into I had about fourty five minutes to kill before I went into...+READ
Interesting thread. I remember my friend had a co-worker who would come and scold others if they were laughing, as it interfered with her concentration. Funny I should remember that now. :) I had a job once at a small business owned by a husband and wife team and it was not a good place to work at all. For reasons too boring to get into I had about fourty five minutes to kill before I went into work each morning and I sometimes did the stealth baker thing. I would make a bundt cake or some blueberry muffins and when everyone was busy after the workday started I would sneak the goods onto the table where the coffee pot was. I always picked a random time and people were like where the heck did that come from?? I worked right near the table so I would hear their comments, but I would always end up giving it away eventually by giggling like a maniac when I couldn't stand it any longer. I started a trend, almost always on fridays. What a way to make a toxic atmosphere sweeter. As far as the boss and gender comment, the card game I play provides an easy answer. The instructions on the cards always say things like during his or her turn. Or when he or she does whatever. Why not use he or she in this case? Sometimes, like now, I'm proud to be a gamer.-COLLAPSE
OP has a problem if she (or he) has developed cankles. Those are symptomatic of a truly bad lifestyle, including lack of exercise in addition to foo much food intake.Heart disease, high blood pressure, and diabetes may be on the horizon. Medical or other professional intervention is probably necessary at this point. Trying to put responsibility on co-workers is a copout and shows that "Fistful"...+READ
OP has a problem if she (or he) has developed cankles. Those are symptomatic of a truly bad lifestyle, including lack of exercise in addition to foo much food intake.Heart disease, high blood pressure, and diabetes may be on the horizon. Medical or other professional intervention is probably necessary at this point. Trying to put responsibility on co-workers is a copout and shows that "Fistful" hasn't truly come to terms with the problem.
A candy-free workplace isn't what "Fistfull" needs; it's a low-cal home environment and low-cal personal snacks at work, plus a fair amount of moderate exercise.-COLLAPSE
Sue the candy corporations! The more you eat their candies / junk calories, the more you're deprived of nutrients, and the more your body craves for more food / good nutrients.
There is a reason why fat people can't control themselves - they can't help it.
you can send me some of your extra food!! i don't have the misfortune of working in a big office. the one downside? not enough snacks!!
I think people with leftovers they don't want to eat should take it to a homeless shelter, where calories in just about any form are welcome.
Snack girl, what are you going to do to help the gambling addicts and hypochondriacs in your workplace? And the trichotillomaniacs?
I'm not on any high horse, nor do I look down my nose at the overweight (because i'm overweight). That said, I think Avalondaughter's last suggestion is a good compromise.
To quote danieljdwyer, as so many here have already done, people really need to stop...+READ
Snack girl, what are you going to do to help the gambling addicts and hypochondriacs in your workplace? And the trichotillomaniacs?
I'm not on any high horse, nor do I look down my nose at the overweight (because i'm overweight). That said, I think Avalondaughter's last suggestion is a good compromise.
To quote danieljdwyer, as so many here have already done, people really need to stop using their own issues as an excuse to limit the freedoms of others. And you can only "help" other so much, especially if they haven't asked for it.-COLLAPSE
You folks are really rather judgmental towards the dieters and the overweight. "Just have self-control" is something overweight people hear all of their lives, as if someone can just snap his or her (see, I've covered both genders) and automatically have that elusive quality known as will power. I'm glad all of you are so thin and beautiful and can easily turn down a piece of delicious candy just...+READ
You folks are really rather judgmental towards the dieters and the overweight. "Just have self-control" is something overweight people hear all of their lives, as if someone can just snap his or her (see, I've covered both genders) and automatically have that elusive quality known as will power. I'm glad all of you are so thin and beautiful and can easily turn down a piece of delicious candy just because you are in so much control.
It's been shown time and time again that when there is food available, people will eat it. Humans are pretty much genetically programmed to want to eat because we haven't really evolved since the days we hunted and gathered on the savannah (except for you hyper-evolved people criticizing the person who submitted the question).
A kinder solution, suggested by many diet books, is to have the coworkers not put treats out in plain sight. Keep the treats at your desk and away from the communal gathering place. Put them in a cabinet (and send out an email to everyone saying it's there) so it's not so obvious. There are compromises.-COLLAPSE
As someone who has battled with weight loss for a long time, I would like to say that I would never, ever expect my co-workers to give up bringing in treats to the office. If they were over-pushy, trying to get me to have some, I might quietly say something to explain my situation, but why should my problem stop them from their enjoyment. Heck, I bring baking and treats into the office myself.
...+READ
As someone who has battled with weight loss for a long time, I would like to say that I would never, ever expect my co-workers to give up bringing in treats to the office. If they were over-pushy, trying to get me to have some, I might quietly say something to explain my situation, but why should my problem stop them from their enjoyment. Heck, I bring baking and treats into the office myself.
I'm more likely to be tempted by the smell of someone's lunch being heated up, or someone's takeout being eaten at their desk. So, should all eating at the office be forbidden? Don't think so!-COLLAPSE
i think some compassion on all sides would be helpful. Starting with u Fistful, people love to cook, bake and share food with those around them. Allow your coworkers the joy of sharing with others. Understand that your food issues are NOT paramount in thier minds nor are they expected to be. I bet that if you tell your coworkers about your issues, most will be willing to help you through the...+READ
i think some compassion on all sides would be helpful. Starting with u Fistful, people love to cook, bake and share food with those around them. Allow your coworkers the joy of sharing with others. Understand that your food issues are NOT paramount in thier minds nor are they expected to be. I bet that if you tell your coworkers about your issues, most will be willing to help you through the minefield of food. For those of you who do work with a Fistful, be aware that seduction of food is overwhelming and can be almost impossible to control. If you bake for the office, making up a small healthy treat for Fistful would be a really nice thing to do. Fistful could then share in the joy of communal eating with the rest of her/his coworkers.
For those of you who think just it's just about willpower, you are wrong. You have no idea the pull food has over some people. Up until 2 years ago, I could not say no to food. Sweets especially, were my crack, lol. I'm 5''6" and had ballooned up to 235 lbs, because i could not control my eating. Then in December 2007 i started taking the drug Adderal for adult ADD. One of the possible side effects of the drug is decrease in appetite. I have lost 70lb because i no longer desire food the way i used to. My appetite went away with my first pill. Within hours my desire for food declined dramatically. In fact, my body will be starving for food and i still don't want to eat. Whatever part of my brain that so deperately wanted to eat all the time was shut down. If i don't take the Adderal my appetite returns almost immediately. I don't understand why i cannot resist food without adderal, but it is not just from lack of willpower. Adderall is not willpower in a pill, it changes my brain so that i don't desire food. For some people, food is an addiction. For everyother addiction, you cease to take the offending substance, you can't do that with food. Food is everywhere, plentiful in America, legal and by the way, necessary for life. You can't stop eating the way you can quit taking heroin.
So if both sides would allow each other room to be who they are and help give each other what they need, i think office food will be good for everybody.-COLLAPSE
mountaincachers -
I agree that there is a certain degree of personal responsibility. just as an alcoholic when he hears a clink of ice cubes makes a choice not to drink. but wouldn't you want to support someone struggling with addiction by not drinking in front of him? - of course as he gets a handle on it -things change and it becomes easier.
My point is -if someone is having trouble walking by...+READ
mountaincachers -
I agree that there is a certain degree of personal responsibility. just as an alcoholic when he hears a clink of ice cubes makes a choice not to drink. but wouldn't you want to support someone struggling with addiction by not drinking in front of him? - of course as he gets a handle on it -things change and it becomes easier.
My point is -if someone is having trouble walking by the donuts to get to his non-fat yogurt - why don't we give him a break? Why not make it easier for that person to make a healthy choice?-COLLAPSE
Snack Girl, I appreciate your passion on this subject. I think, though, that the heroin comparison is a bit of a stretch. Snack food and sweets can be enjoyed safely in moderation with no ill effects. I don't think that there is such a think as enjoying heroin in moderation. I recognize that there might be some people that this is harder for than others, and a reasonable compromise would be to...+READ
Snack Girl, I appreciate your passion on this subject. I think, though, that the heroin comparison is a bit of a stretch. Snack food and sweets can be enjoyed safely in moderation with no ill effects. I don't think that there is such a think as enjoying heroin in moderation. I recognize that there might be some people that this is harder for than others, and a reasonable compromise would be to keep the sweets in one area (say the break room) as opposed to circulating throughout the office. However, there seems to be an abdication of responsibility for one's choices here..."I'm fat because of the people in my office or because of my addiction." These are adults that we are talking about, and they do have a choice about what they eat, even if that choice is more difficult for them than for other people. I have a bigger problem with the amount of sweets that work their way into my child's school, as I do feel it is my responsibility to my child to teach healthy eating habits and how to enjoy treats in moderation. As you become an adult, however, it does become your choice what goes into your mouth. You could bring heroin to my work, and I would still not chose to have any.-COLLAPSE
Prav:
There have been studies in rats - one as recently published in a Journal of Neurology that support the idea that junk food lights up the same area of the brain as heroin. Would you bring heroin to share at work? It is time to realize that obesity is an epidemic brought on by addictive substances. Dissordered eating - what ever that means - can be a result of an addiction.
There have been...+READ
Prav:
There have been studies in rats - one as recently published in a Journal of Neurology that support the idea that junk food lights up the same area of the brain as heroin. Would you bring heroin to share at work? It is time to realize that obesity is an epidemic brought on by addictive substances. Dissordered eating - what ever that means - can be a result of an addiction.
There have been calls for junk food to be treated as a controlled substance because is is harmful to so many people who cannot control their habit - or in my view - their addiction.-COLLAPSE
Lamar Odom Eats candies all day long@@@
SnackGirl: That's an invalid comparison. Yes, food addiction is a very real thing, however, alcohol is a completely different matter because it is a controlled substance and causes impairment. I know you have an anti-junkfood agenda, but your comment does a disservice to those who are truly suffering from disordered eating.
If staying "clean" from drugs can be compared to keeping a tiger in its...+READ
SnackGirl: That's an invalid comparison. Yes, food addiction is a very real thing, however, alcohol is a completely different matter because it is a controlled substance and causes impairment. I know you have an anti-junkfood agenda, but your comment does a disservice to those who are truly suffering from disordered eating.
If staying "clean" from drugs can be compared to keeping a tiger in its cage, a food addiction is more like keeping a tiger in a cage, but taking it out for a walk three times a day. The point? It's tough to realistically live in a world where you aren't exposed to junk food.-COLLAPSE
A person who is trying to stay away from sweets that others bring in can themselves that it belongs to someone else. So that if your food willpower deserts you, your honesty willpower can take over.
I think booze at work would go a long way towards boosting office morale. :)
I also have used the break room to get rid of leftover Halloween candy and other things. I'm not the food police. When there's potlucks I tend to bring in a veggie tray and deviled eggs so I'll have something reasonably healthy to eat. Since I routinely bring home empty trays I assume I'm not the only one who doesn't...+READ
I think booze at work would go a long way towards boosting office morale. :)
I also have used the break room to get rid of leftover Halloween candy and other things. I'm not the food police. When there's potlucks I tend to bring in a veggie tray and deviled eggs so I'll have something reasonably healthy to eat. Since I routinely bring home empty trays I assume I'm not the only one who doesn't like the crappy store-bought salads and baked goods.-COLLAPSE
What if it was alcohol that people bought in? Something that people can get addicted to and have a tough time avoiding. Junk food (it has been shown) can be addictive. If there are people who are trying to lose weight and eat healthier at the workplace - why not just avoid bringing in the stuff to support them. What does it matter?
http://www.snack-girl.com/
I can hardly believe anyone would have the gall to post this. For Pete's sake, if you don't like the stuff people bring in, don't eat it. Enough already.
An interesting thought: as employers try to cut health care costs by offering employees incentives/bonuses for losing weight and exercising, will employers disallow workplace candy (and other foodstuffs) since it can disincentivize certain employees ?
'uppity'. Huh.
@seraphangel: The use of "they" for singular third-person, while not uncommon, is considered grammatically incorrect.
I'd like to expound slightly on what I said above. About a third of my doctors have been women, so unlike my experience with nurses, I would not assume that "doctor" refers to a he. If more men penetrate into the nursing field, then my perception there will change, too. I think...+READ
@seraphangel: The use of "they" for singular third-person, while not uncommon, is considered grammatically incorrect.
I'd like to expound slightly on what I said above. About a third of my doctors have been women, so unlike my experience with nurses, I would not assume that "doctor" refers to a he. If more men penetrate into the nursing field, then my perception there will change, too. I think that people are just far too touchy about this: it is usually clear if the speaker intended offense or not. If he or she didn't (notice that "they" would be entirely incorrect here), then there is no reason to become uppity about it. It doesn't say as much about him or her as it does about yourself.-COLLAPSE
@mountainc-ditto!
HillJ, I completely agree about the fundraisers in the office. I have a "no fundraiser" policy at work, because I feel like if I support one school/church group/girl scout troop, then I must support all. I'm in a big office and could spend a considerable chunk of my income on fundraising edibles that I don't even want to eat. I prefer to make my donations to the charities of my choice at home...+READ
HillJ, I completely agree about the fundraisers in the office. I have a "no fundraiser" policy at work, because I feel like if I support one school/church group/girl scout troop, then I must support all. I'm in a big office and could spend a considerable chunk of my income on fundraising edibles that I don't even want to eat. I prefer to make my donations to the charities of my choice at home (and buy my Thin Mints from the neighbor's daughter).-COLLAPSE
Although 'he' functions as a de facto gender neutral, this is not a matter of correct grammar. That is, it would be just as correct for someone to refer to the boss as 'she'.
The reason for mixing it up a bit is to take on the unquestioned assumption of male authority in all cases. This language choice may have, at one time, functioned as a reflection of society, and while it may continue to do...+READ
Although 'he' functions as a de facto gender neutral, this is not a matter of correct grammar. That is, it would be just as correct for someone to refer to the boss as 'she'.
The reason for mixing it up a bit is to take on the unquestioned assumption of male authority in all cases. This language choice may have, at one time, functioned as a reflection of society, and while it may continue to do so, it also functions as a way that shapes our continued understanding of society. To refer to bosses as 'he' without question may also uphold the idea of a world where all bosses are 'he', and which may create distinct challenges when two people are up for a job. Does the 'she' automatically command the same authority as the 'he'? Or does it come off as somehow indulging a fantasy that she can be as good as or as powerful as he?
Just because something is the baseline, and just because there is no clear malicious intent, does not mean that it is not still pernicious. Moreover, the fervour with which some of the people defend the continued usage speaks to a desire to uphold and maintain this balance (or rather, imbalance) as the norm.
As for attempting to number the bosses, nurses and doctors? The fact that the imbalance still persists is not a reason to maintain it. And even so, this anecdotal collection of data isn't really helping.
The majority of my doctors have been women. My bosses here are women (although that does not curtail the profound if covert sexism in my workplace, unfortunately). And oh yes, for the Englishman here, I am also in the UK, albeit in another country: Scotland.
As for candy, I'm glad not to get into it given the nastiness of that 'I hate those fat bitches who are mean to me because they are jealous' post. This person should just ignore it, of course. That said, I once had a job where I had only a cubicle, the edge of which became designated candy/biscuit/cake offering place. I could avoid the temptation but I was constantly disrupted by the blether of those standing before the plate wondering whether they should or they shouldn't and tallying their calories. I had to hold my tongue so often not to just tell them to take the damn candy and move along.
For that, there should be bosses to protect. I demonstrated willpower, but really, me? Hold me tongue? Nooooooooooo.-COLLAPSE
@ratgirlagogo, when I see a pyramid of candy with a price list on the corner of a coworkers desk I divert my eyes so they don't hit me up for a buck. By the end of the week I could be 10.00 lighter if I helped everyone.
@mountainc, I was just joshin ya! There are just so many ways to say...
"I'm more bothered by the display of candy bars and popcorn coworkers are selling for their kids than I am about a bowl of Hershey kisses avail to all employees. Keep the fundraisers out of the office, please. "
Boy, howdy, HillJ, this is a movement I can get behind. It's much harder to refuse to buy a Hershey bar from your co-worker than it is to just keep walking past the bowl of Milky Ways....+READ
"I'm more bothered by the display of candy bars and popcorn coworkers are selling for their kids than I am about a bowl of Hershey kisses avail to all employees. Keep the fundraisers out of the office, please. "
Boy, howdy, HillJ, this is a movement I can get behind. It's much harder to refuse to buy a Hershey bar from your co-worker than it is to just keep walking past the bowl of Milky Ways. Even worse are the folks who've gotten involved in some kind of MLM scheme and beg me to buy cleaning products or cosmetics I don't want.-COLLAPSE
ha ha lol :-)
I think the conversation drifted because there are only so many ways to say, "Get some self control and keep your hand out of the cookie jar."
LOL, how did an article about workplace candy turn into a gender conversation. Bored?
I would never assume that just because someone is male or female that they do a specific job, but just talking generally about a profession, i must admit several have a gender bias in social perception. For example, i am studying Civil Engineering at university, which is a male dominated area , and although more and more females are joining, it still is seen as a 'male' profession and people...+READ
I would never assume that just because someone is male or female that they do a specific job, but just talking generally about a profession, i must admit several have a gender bias in social perception. For example, i am studying Civil Engineering at university, which is a male dominated area , and although more and more females are joining, it still is seen as a 'male' profession and people always seem to react in surprise when i tell them that i (a female) am studying Civil Engineering.
Although (after thinking about it i have to agree with danieljdwyer) most professions would be referred to as a gender neutral 'they' in general conversation.-COLLAPSE
Interestingly, in the US more than half of current medical students are women. Last I read, about a third of practicing doctors in the US are women with much higher percentages in some fields (eg OB). I have no idea what the percentages are in England. The reason I find it problematic is that many people will see a woman working in the hospital and assume she is a nurse, when in fact she may be...+READ
Interestingly, in the US more than half of current medical students are women. Last I read, about a third of practicing doctors in the US are women with much higher percentages in some fields (eg OB). I have no idea what the percentages are in England. The reason I find it problematic is that many people will see a woman working in the hospital and assume she is a nurse, when in fact she may be the doctor. It's not that I think there is something wrong with being a nurse (great profession), but there is something wrong with assuming someone's job or position based on their gender. Incidentally, with the current economic situation, I wouldn't be surprised to see more men entering the nursing field.-COLLAPSE
As someone with a severe health condition, I've had a lot of nurses tend to me over the years, and out of about the hundred or so that I've had, exactly two were men. I preferred the male nurses and found them to be more gentle, kind, and sympathetic, but based on these experiences, I don't see why I shouldn't assume that the term "nurse" refers to a female unless otherwise corrected, or why that...+READ
As someone with a severe health condition, I've had a lot of nurses tend to me over the years, and out of about the hundred or so that I've had, exactly two were men. I preferred the male nurses and found them to be more gentle, kind, and sympathetic, but based on these experiences, I don't see why I shouldn't assume that the term "nurse" refers to a female unless otherwise corrected, or why that should be remotely insulting or outdated.-COLLAPSE
mountaincachers, in the case of 'doctor' i have to admit i would assume male, which may be because almost every single doctor i have ever been to in my life has been male, just as every nurse has been female. The only female doctor i have ever seen was a gynecologist, and that was only because i specifically requested her.
To be honest, i live in England, and so it may be slightly different in...+READ
mountaincachers, in the case of 'doctor' i have to admit i would assume male, which may be because almost every single doctor i have ever been to in my life has been male, just as every nurse has been female. The only female doctor i have ever seen was a gynecologist, and that was only because i specifically requested her.
To be honest, i live in England, and so it may be slightly different in America, which i'm assuming most people here live.-COLLAPSE
Oh boy, I actually LOL'd at this one. Good stuff. Surely that was in jest.
BTW, i'm a baker-sharer. And most stuff that I bring into work, I don't even eat myself, because i'm not into sweets. But even when someone brings in something that I LOVE (like savory stuff), I can still manage to stay out of it, because you know, i'm busy....at work !
Anyway, nice to see that this thread has bring...+READ
Oh boy, I actually LOL'd at this one. Good stuff. Surely that was in jest.
BTW, i'm a baker-sharer. And most stuff that I bring into work, I don't even eat myself, because i'm not into sweets. But even when someone brings in something that I LOVE (like savory stuff), I can still manage to stay out of it, because you know, i'm busy....at work !
Anyway, nice to see that this thread has bring out the fat-haters in a few people.-COLLAPSE
I've had quite enough of people with weight problems taking out their hostility on those of us who don't have them. We all have our issues, and wanting to restrict the behavior of others because you have no self-control is just nazi behavior for the 21st century.
I've had overweight women insult me for being a "skinny bitch" since I was a teenager, and now my daughter is going through the same...+READ
I've had quite enough of people with weight problems taking out their hostility on those of us who don't have them. We all have our issues, and wanting to restrict the behavior of others because you have no self-control is just nazi behavior for the 21st century.
I've had overweight women insult me for being a "skinny bitch" since I was a teenager, and now my daughter is going through the same thing. Yet if we were to say, "fat bitch" back to them, then we would be thought of as rude or unsympathetic to the "plight" of the woman who can't push herself away from the table.-COLLAPSE
Seraphangel, out of curiosity, what assumption would you make about "doctor"?
Danieljdwyer, I agree with you on the grammatical point, but clearly that's not the reason that the majority of people would use "he". The inconsistency based on assumptions about gender and jobs is what bothers me.
ajs42548 - It doesn't matter what gender most anything are. The pronoun "he" is gender neutral until the gender of the antecedent is known.
seraphangel - I would actually guess that 90%+ of the population would use "they", which is even less correct than using "she", which is still incorrect.
mountaincachers - In your hypothetical conversation, Person B is correct to use "he" because it does...+READ
ajs42548 - It doesn't matter what gender most anything are. The pronoun "he" is gender neutral until the gender of the antecedent is known.
seraphangel - I would actually guess that 90%+ of the population would use "they", which is even less correct than using "she", which is still incorrect.
mountaincachers - In your hypothetical conversation, Person B is correct to use "he" because it does not imply that the boss is male. In that example, "he" is gender neutral.-COLLAPSE
mountaincachers; actually that conversation would be what the average person would say in that situation. It's not outdated, it's simply social convention.
I have to agree with ajs, since most bosses are male, most people will automatically assume it is a 'HE', UNLESS they specifically know that it is a 'SHE', for example if the person they are talking to has already told them their boss is...+READ
mountaincachers; actually that conversation would be what the average person would say in that situation. It's not outdated, it's simply social convention.
I have to agree with ajs, since most bosses are male, most people will automatically assume it is a 'HE', UNLESS they specifically know that it is a 'SHE', for example if the person they are talking to has already told them their boss is female.
The same goes for a nurse; if the people talking already know that the nurse is male, then they will say 'HE', but in all other cases, i would believe that 90%+ of the population would say 'SHE'. I know I do, and I'm a teenager.-COLLAPSE
ajs, not necessarily true, depending on the field. Also, taking a guess on which pronoun to use based on the odds runs the risk of making you look a bit out of touch. For example:
Person A: "Today someone at the office was complaining about too many desserts in the break room and asked our boss to make a policy limiting sweets"
Person B: "What did he say?"
Person A "SHE said that the company...+READ
ajs, not necessarily true, depending on the field. Also, taking a guess on which pronoun to use based on the odds runs the risk of making you look a bit out of touch. For example:
Person A: "Today someone at the office was complaining about too many desserts in the break room and asked our boss to make a policy limiting sweets"
Person B: "What did he say?"
Person A "SHE said that the company policy was not to police employee eating habits." Now Person A is wondering if Person B is still listening to 8 track tapes.-COLLAPSE
We have a smoke- and asbestos-free workplace, don’t we have the right to a candy-free workplace too? The difference is that other people's smoke can harm you, and asbestos harms everyone. Someone else eating candy doesn't hurt you. If you don't want it, don't eat it, and if you can't resist it, it is your problem.
Most bosses are men and most nurses are women. So the odds of being correct by using the corresponding pronouns are greater the way they were used. Now don't jump all over me because I said that most bosses are men. That is the truth whether you like it or not.
I'm more bothered by the display of candy bars and popcorn coworkers are selling for their kids than I am about a bowl of Hershey kisses avail to all employees. Keep the fundraisers out of the office, please.
I pretty much agree with the majority here, with the addition that one piece of candy won't make a real difference in a weight loss program as long as it's just the one.
Sounds like the OP has a set of issues and the weight prob is merely symptomatic. ("I'm such a victim and I'm gonna punish you all for being so heartless.")
"...People really need to stop using their own issues as an excuse to limit the freedoms of others."
Hear, hear! Great summing up, danieljdwyer. :)
mountaincachers - I agree. It would not be correct use "her" and "she" just because of some biased assumption that nursing is a woman's career. Unless the subject is a specific individual whose sex is known, "him" and "he" should be used. There are rare exceptions to this for the few words in English that are gender specific, like blonde, stewardess, or ballerina.
As for the actual question, I'm...+READ
mountaincachers - I agree. It would not be correct use "her" and "she" just because of some biased assumption that nursing is a woman's career. Unless the subject is a specific individual whose sex is known, "him" and "he" should be used. There are rare exceptions to this for the few words in English that are gender specific, like blonde, stewardess, or ballerina.
As for the actual question, I'm with just about everyone else that this is absurd. Most offices I've worked in have been full of junk food, usually worse than candy. I wished it was not there, because it being there meant I was going to snack. But this was no one's fault but my own.People really need to stop using their own issues as an excuse to limit the freedoms of others.-COLLAPSE
lol @ "cankles" we got a few of those heavy hitters at my office too. They make a mockery out of the yearly breakfast buffet. Last year I was reaching for a danish and almost lost a finger!
Most people that bring in candy, etc., are doing it out of a kind heart. To think that everybody's trying to sabotage your diet is just nuts. No, you can't tell them not to bring anything fattening into work, and you'd be stupid to try to get your boss to mandate it. I used to work by myself (so I had total control of what was in the dept) and was thrust into a big group a couple of years ago....+READ
Most people that bring in candy, etc., are doing it out of a kind heart. To think that everybody's trying to sabotage your diet is just nuts. No, you can't tell them not to bring anything fattening into work, and you'd be stupid to try to get your boss to mandate it. I used to work by myself (so I had total control of what was in the dept) and was thrust into a big group a couple of years ago. Holy cow- sometimes there's an embarrassment of culinary riches, especially around the holidays. Well, I decided that I'd better get used to it and not go for every donut that showed up in the break room. Occasionally I give in, but I'd never dream of blaming anybody else for having too much cake or whatever.
The only control you can exercise over this issue is the control you have over yourself. That's the ONLY appropriate place for it.-COLLAPSE
I agree with the person in the article who brings in stuff from home that she wouldn't otherwise eat. That's what I do at my office. My mom will bake me a whole birthday cake, and I don't want to eat it all myself, so I'll bring in a good portion of it to work. And most of the times, they eat everything I (and others) bring in!
Wow, this is ridiculous. Really, Chow? You answered this question? Honestly, I'm more concerned with myself that I'm commenting on this stupidity... eek.
Have you ever heard of self control?
Daniel, Agree that "him" and "he" are grammatically appropriate. However, if the subject had been "nurse" instead of "boss", would Helena still use "he"? Unless the answer is yes, you really can't plead the grammar defense. I can see both sides of this issue.
On the subject of the original question though... I really don't have trouble keeping away from office treats, because most of them are so...+READ
Daniel, Agree that "him" and "he" are grammatically appropriate. However, if the subject had been "nurse" instead of "boss", would Helena still use "he"? Unless the answer is yes, you really can't plead the grammar defense. I can see both sides of this issue.
On the subject of the original question though... I really don't have trouble keeping away from office treats, because most of them are so awful. "Homemade" cakes made from boxes, slice and bake cookies, etc. Unless this person works in a much more gourmet office than I do, they need to learn to only eat things that are worth their calories.-COLLAPSE
cubbie - That is not gender biased language. "Him" and "he" are and always have been the proper gender neutral pronouns. The same pattern, of the masculine and gender neutral pronouns being identical, exists in the vast majority of languages, and has not been challenged in any but one. Even within English, this assertion of gender bias is not taken particularly seriously outside of America - and,...+READ
cubbie - That is not gender biased language. "Him" and "he" are and always have been the proper gender neutral pronouns. The same pattern, of the masculine and gender neutral pronouns being identical, exists in the vast majority of languages, and has not been challenged in any but one. Even within English, this assertion of gender bias is not taken particularly seriously outside of America - and, if I recall correctly, Helena is not American. Even in America, this assertion is not taken seriously in the field of linguistics, and no grammatically correct alternative has been proposed by the radical minority that gets upset over this.-COLLAPSE
Chili cheese fritos aren't available everywhere? That's a shame!
Um, in this economy, I'd be way more concerned about keeping my job than being a candy Nazi.
Another tubby inflicting her/his weight issues on other people. Have a doughnut and relax.
Wow, Helena...never thought you'd be gender-biased in language. For shame. I'm disappointed, though I probably should know better than to expect much by now. Seriously, though?
"You can also enlist your boss’s help by asking him to create an informal office wellness program. He’ll be on board.."
Let's not make default, sexist assumptions about gender and power, please. Yes, tangential to the...+READ
Wow, Helena...never thought you'd be gender-biased in language. For shame. I'm disappointed, though I probably should know better than to expect much by now. Seriously, though?
"You can also enlist your boss’s help by asking him to create an informal office wellness program. He’ll be on board.."
Let's not make default, sexist assumptions about gender and power, please. Yes, tangential to the article, I realize, but so are your blatant stereotypes.-COLLAPSE
Agreed with others. This is a little ridiculous. We all walk by bakeries/fast food restaurants/ice cream stores that smell delicious everyday. I get that having brownies or other treats in front of you at the office might be a little more difficult to resist, but it's the onus of individuals to keep themselves in check and either walk on by or bring their own healthy snacks. When all else fails,...+READ
Agreed with others. This is a little ridiculous. We all walk by bakeries/fast food restaurants/ice cream stores that smell delicious everyday. I get that having brownies or other treats in front of you at the office might be a little more difficult to resist, but it's the onus of individuals to keep themselves in check and either walk on by or bring their own healthy snacks. When all else fails, go for a walk around the block or make a 100 calorie pack of popcorn. Sheesh.-COLLAPSE
If you don't like what's being brought in, bring in something you like. Everybody takes a candy from the bowl, true, but most of them would also enjoy a carrot stick with ranch. Put out a relish tray one mid-morning to help remind people of other alternatives. Others may follow your lead.
no-one is forcing you to eat the sweets. If you are really focused on your diet, you would have the motivation to avoid eating the sweets.
I agree with Helena, sharing things such as sweets can help foster a pleasant bond between people, and help make a workplace a more pleasant environment.
It simply is down to self-control.
Self control? Eat breakfast at home and bring in your own snacks - almonds, bananas, veggies, homemade protein bars. It's not that hard. Suck it up and control yourself.
wow. whatever happened to personal resolve?