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Crazy devices and contraptions
By Roxanne Webber
1. The WineRack. Soft flasks hidden in a bra seem like an incredibly uncomfortable idea. A nozzle discreetly attaches on the side and then, we guess, dangles down under your shirt—unless you’re wearing just the bra like the model on the website, and then it’s not that stealth anymore.
2. The Hammer Flask. A combo bottle opener, ice crusher, flask, and—as the website brags—functional hammer. Let’s get hammered!
3. Dear Diary Flask. Book safes made from hollowed-out pages are the stuff of spy movie legend. But the manufacturers of this one have screwed it up with a suspiciously innocent bunny rabbit diary motif.
4. The Beerbelly. It’s hard to decide if this is more or less gross than the WineRack. You fill the “belly” with 80 ounces of drink and wear it under your shirt like a sling. Seems like your stomach would make whatever beverage you put in there really hot and nasty.
5. Stadium Sippin’ Seat. This cushion houses a floppy flask with a drinking tube attached to the side. At least this item is somewhat practical, but we’d still rather buy a nice cold beer from a vendor than drink something we’ve sat on all day.
6. Crystal Swarovski Phone Flask. A hundred bucks gets you a bling-encrusted “cell phone” that’s really a six-ounce flask. Too bad Valentine’s Day has come and gone.
7. Sneaky Shorts. You’re supposed to wear these flexible flasks under your regular shorts and hang the dispensing tube out the bottom. The blurb claims that the “patent pending ‘Stay Thin’ technology ensures that the shorts do not bulge when filled with liquid,” but this seems dubious. Also, if you’re caught by security, you may have to claim to be drinking your own urine—and it’s not going to be pretty if the flasks leak.
8. Reef Dram Sandal. Dude, these sandals totally house a microflask in the footbed, bro. They are also poorly reviewed on Amazon due to their limited capacity and a tendency to leak. Perhaps Reef should stick to opening beers.
9. Deluxe Electronic Golf Club Kooler Caddie. Slip the insulated cooler into your golf bag, attach the “golf club” dispenser to the top, and you can have cold refreshments at the push of a button. It’s unlikely to improve your game, but it might make it more enjoyable.
10. Pewter Binocular Flask. You’d think at nearly 70 bucks that these shiny pewter binoculars that hold booze in the eyepieces would double as real binoculars. But they don’t.
Check out the guys over at Sneak alcohol It's by far the best way to sneak alcohol on cruise and into concerts. They also have a bunch of free giveaways at Sneak Alcohol in on Facebook
Just use Camo Caps. They're the caps for water bottles with the factory seal on them so you just take off the old cap fill the bottle with whatever and reseal em up. Seeing as how they let you bring water bottles in as long as they're sealed you have no worries. Camocaps dot net is the site.
In the olden days, when you could bring in metal containers, my wife filled a Themos with her version of screwdrivers: vodka with a little orange juice concentrate for color.
"What's in the Thermos?"
"Fruit juice."
"OK"
oh, these are funny!
The stadium seat reminds me of George Carlin's take on airplanes' safety routines' "in case of emergency, seat cushion can be used as a flotation device" Carlin's comment--"just what I want, to be floating around in hte ocean on a pillow full of beer farts!"
the cooler caddy, though, might be a good brother-in-law gift
I have a non-crystal-encrusted cell phone flask which I fill up with my favored Bacardi and bring to games, casually throwing it in my purse. With the case I've never had anyone look at it twice and my husband and I can cop a nice buzz for the cost of a large Coke. It paid for itself the first time I used it at a Washington Nationals game, where the average beer is $7.50.
It isn't about breaking the law in most cases; it is about getting round monopolies enacted by private parties.
I have another, a ski pole flask-perfect for the skier/ski race groupee.
http://www.liquorsnob.com/archives/2005/10/coldpole_liquor_reservoir_ski_poles.php
At the last college football game I attended there were 3 guys that had obviously returned to their alma mater to watch the game. One of them had sneaked in whiskey in a ziploc bag that he had rolled up and stuffed in his hat. He would get the bag out and pour some in his coke, then reseal the bag and put it back in his had. However, about mid way through the 2nd half (I guess the whiskey was...+READ
At the last college football game I attended there were 3 guys that had obviously returned to their alma mater to watch the game. One of them had sneaked in whiskey in a ziploc bag that he had rolled up and stuffed in his hat. He would get the bag out and pour some in his coke, then reseal the bag and put it back in his had. However, about mid way through the 2nd half (I guess the whiskey was working), he forgot to seal the bag and stuffed in back in his hat. Yes, whiskey poured all down his face! All 10 of these products may be an improvement on the ziploc bag/hat approach.-COLLAPSE
It's good to know there are still people left with a sense of humor.
I LOVE my adult beverages but I consider Chow telling/encouraging people how to break the law as inappropriate as any post or thread that gets deleted. Shame on you. Why don't you delete this???
Wow lighten up pal. I found this to be thoroughly entertaining even though I probably wouldn't use any of these. It's nice to see how the other half lives sometimes isn't it?
This whole article is just dumb. Is this a web site for 14 year olds?
the beer belly is the one that cracked me up!
but... the stadium sippin' seat? or sneaky shorts? eew.
The Golf Club Kooler Caddie is genius!
Nice round up!
yes but what about the beer bjorn??? http://beerbjorn.blogspot.com/