Cheez-Its Still Doin’ It for Me

Published on Monday, August 11, 2008, by James Norton / Edit Post

By: The Hershey Company

I Paid: $2.99 for a 7-ounce box (prices may vary by region)

Taste: 4stars

Marketing: 2stars

There are few better ways to enrage a true lover of chocolate candy than to mention Hershey’s, archetype of shoddy quality and lowbrow conceptualization. From that perspective, Hershey’s-themed cookies sound like a disaster. Why reinvent a bad chocolate bar (or, in the case of Reese’s, a reasonably OK peanut butter dessert) as a cookie?

Cynical answer: You want to extend the brand and capitalize on its “known quantity” appeal for millions of Americans.

Surprising answer: You can springboard off tired favorites and create some shockingly tasty cookies. In this case, that means sandwiched and chocolate-dipped cookies.

The York Dark Chocolate Dipped cookies are better than their namesakes by a long shot; the addition of a dry, crunchy cookie to the chocolate and mint of candy-bar fame creates a passable (and competitively tasty) impression of a Girl Scout Thin Mint.

The Hershey’s Milk Chocolate Layered cookies are far, far, far better than what they’re named after, and they closely resemble Oreos. They lack a little of Oreos’ intricate texture, but they are within striking distance of an American cookie classic.

The Reese’s Milk Chocolate Layered cookies are also Oreo-esque, with a surprisingly restrained, creamy peanut butter filling. The only cookie that fell short was the Reese’s Milk Chocolate Dipped, which was cloying and syrupy.

Cheez-It Duoz

By: Sunshine

I Paid: $4.09 for a 14.5-ounce box (prices may vary by region)

Taste: 4stars

Marketing: 4stars

In the world of mass-marketed cheesy snack crackers, Cheez-Its are about as good as it gets. With help from the Wisconsin Center for Dairy Research at the University of Wisconsin–Madison, the creators of Cheez-Its came up with a process whereby real cheese is worked into the cracker batter (rather than cheese flavoring being applied as a nasty coating after the baking process). This results in a consistent cheese flavor and less artificial powdery crap sticking to your fingers.

Now Cheez-Its have been rolled out in a new “Two Flavors — One Box” format, offering the duo of Zesty Queso and Cheddar Blanco or the pairing of Sharp Cheddar and Parmesan.

Out of an inherent respect for Cheez-Its, I gambled that all four flavors would be discernible in a blind testing. And sure enough, they all shone through. The Parmesan crackers taste, mon dieu, like Parm! The Zesty Queso crackers have a mild but clear stab of jalapeño to them. The Sharp Cheddar has a bit of real cheddary bite, and the Cheddar Blanco is comparatively mild.

Why the shock? The name of the game with most mass-marketed foods is for the label to say (or imply), “This tastes like a steak”; for the item in question to look and smell like a steak; but then for it to taste like cardboard covered in steak sauce. Cheez-Its, to their eternal credit, are made with real cheese, and the result is a damned snappy collection of snack crackers.

James Norton edits the Upper Midwestern food journal Heavy Table. He's also the coauthor of a book on Wisconsin's master cheesemakers. For his Supertaster column, he samples offerings from supermarket aisles and fast-food menus. You can follow him on Twitter and fan him on Facebook. His wife, Becca Dilley, takes the photographs for Supertaster. She specializes in weddings and food photography, and is the coauthor of and photographer for the book on Wisconsin's master cheesemakers.

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