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Dear Helena,
Maybe three times a month, I go to this great French bistro with my wife. We always order a big meal with a nice bottle of wine and leave a generous tip. But staff members give no sign of recognizing us, and we have to wait for a table with the other walk-ins.
Maybe I’m expecting too much, but I feel that we should be rewarded for being such loyal patrons. We should get a table when we want one, we shouldn’t have to remind them that my wife prefers sparkling water to still, and a free glass of wine once in a while wouldn’t hurt either. Am I wrong? What special treatment should regulars get, if any? —Make Me Feel at Home
Dear Make Me Feel at Home,
As a regular, you shouldn’t expect to be treated like a visiting celebrity. But most restaurants make their money from repeat customers, so it’s good business sense for them to give you a little extra attention.
You deserve a warm, personal greeting. It’s also nice if the owner, manager, or head waiter stops by your table to ask if everything’s OK. That makes you feel important, and doesn’t cost the restaurant anything. And staff should remember your likes and dislikes. Anne Stoll, co-owner of Delfina, a top San Francisco restaurant, says that this is the chief privilege her regulars expect: “They want you to remember the wine they like or that they only eat the ends of the bread. ... Or one only likes table 11B, which is a corner table where two people sit adjacent, instead of across from one another.”
Nowadays, there’s no excuse for a restaurant to forget your wife’s name or your wheat allergy, since software such as OpenTable or GuestBridge makes it easy to record this information. When the host looks at your reservation, he or she can also see details such as when you last visited, how long you stayed, and whether or not you liked the bouillabaisse.
So while you should expect the staff to remember your favorite table, you shouldn’t expect that you’ll always get that table, or any table. Only movie stars and presidential candidates can get any table, anytime. As Chowhounds have pointed out, it’s unfair to give regulars a table before others waiting in line. And no self-respecting Chowhound could enjoy dinner knowing he or she had jumped the queue.
However, restaurants do sometimes set aside a few tables for regulars who walk in off the street. That way, they can accommodate loyal customers (as well as drop-in VIPs) without extending other people’s wait. Stoll says: “Sometimes we even keep these tables open throughout the night, so we have padding, or we hold one or two tables open in the middle part of the night at the most desirable time.”
Depending on how busy the kitchen is, regulars might also be able to order something not on the menu. Ronald Gorodesky, president of Restaurant Advisory Services, says: “If the place is half full and it’s a weeknight, yes, but on a packed Saturday night you probably shouldn’t expect a lot of special accommodation.” No matter how often you go there, you can’t treat the cook like your private chef.
Finally, the restaurant is not obliged to dish out freebies to regulars. But you may get one occasionally, whether it’s dessert or a snifter of the chef’s homemade nocino. Sometimes restaurants formalize the process of rewarding regulars by offering frequent-diner programs or loyalty cards. But, as Gorodesky points out, it’s better to keep the process informal, so the freebie feels like a gift: “If once in a while I give you a dessert or a drink, it’s a surprise and a privilege, and it’s not expected.”
A restaurant shouldn’t overdo it, though. My husband and I used to get a free limoncello or ricotta cheesecake every time we went to our neighborhood Italian place. After a while, we stopped going because we couldn’t consume it all (and it seemed rude not to do so). There is such a thing as treating regulars too well.
Table Manners appears every Wednesday. Have a Table Manners question? Email Helena.
To quote Helena............"A restaurant shouldn’t overdo it, though. My husband and I used to get a free limoncello or ricotta cheesecake every time we went to our neighborhood Italian place. After a while, we stopped going because we couldn’t consume it all (and it seemed rude not to do so). There is such a thing as treating regulars too well."
My husband and I stopped going to one of our...+READ
To quote Helena............"A restaurant shouldn’t overdo it, though. My husband and I used to get a free limoncello or ricotta cheesecake every time we went to our neighborhood Italian place. After a while, we stopped going because we couldn’t consume it all (and it seemed rude not to do so). There is such a thing as treating regulars too well."
My husband and I stopped going to one of our favorite steakhouse restaurants for the very reason mentioned above. We ordered calamari on a couple of occasions so we started getting 'free' calamari without even ordering it. We love the cheesecake and then started getting 'free' cheesecake after our meals. The waitress (we always asked for the same one because we really liked her) brought both of those items without ever asking us. Got to a point I had enough calamari and cheesecake.
I must add, she was well 'rewarded' for those treats. I really miss that restaurant. :( Hopefully, if we ever decide to return she'll ask if we still like calamari and cheesecake. :)
Anyway, to get back to the question asked by 'Make me feel at home"......I agree that a special treat now and then would be nice but don't expect it every time.
We frequent many restaurants and on very rare occasions an owner will send over drinks or dessert. One restaurant 'always' gives us an amuse' and even invited us to their 10th anniversary party....that was a real treat!-COLLAPSE
Speaking from experience, staff generally don't reach out unless you reach out first. When I was in high school, my parents and I would go to this Thai restaurant on a semiregular basis. We're all pretty introverted so none of us made any overtures to the servers. I had no idea that they recognized us until I went to lunch with just my mom and the server asked about my dad. Even so, we don't get...+READ
Speaking from experience, staff generally don't reach out unless you reach out first. When I was in high school, my parents and I would go to this Thai restaurant on a semiregular basis. We're all pretty introverted so none of us made any overtures to the servers. I had no idea that they recognized us until I went to lunch with just my mom and the server asked about my dad. Even so, we don't get more than a warm smile when we return. The thought that they OWE you free food or drinks doesn't sit well with me.-COLLAPSE
People who don't know this business crack me up. Yea that's right, I said it. The only thing you are entitled to is the food you are PAYING for. Anything else you recieve is a bonus. Do you feel your entitled to free stuff when you walk in to other types of businesses? Free clothes at Macy's? Cars from BMW? Believe me, they can afford it alot more than an independent restaurant can so start...+READ
People who don't know this business crack me up. Yea that's right, I said it. The only thing you are entitled to is the food you are PAYING for. Anything else you recieve is a bonus. Do you feel your entitled to free stuff when you walk in to other types of businesses? Free clothes at Macy's? Cars from BMW? Believe me, they can afford it alot more than an independent restaurant can so start writing nasty articles about them too. Those "bonuses" you get from restauranteurs cost THEM money. That's what makes the gesture worth something to you. If I buy you a drink at my bar or a dinner at my restaurant I'M paying for it! Are you in the habit of buying dinner or drinks for strangers? If so tell me where you hang out and I'll stop by, it would be GREAT if somebody bought me a drink for a change. Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge fan of the "kickback" and such, and I appreciate every penny spent at my establishment but come onpeople, you shouldn't expect it, nor should you EVER ask for it! There are tons of restaurants out there, if you don't like the one you're at just find another place you like better. Some peoples favorite passtime is just bashing restaurants, you know what they say right, if you think you can do it better, believe me there are plenty of restaurants for sale out there. Most of them are available because they went out of business by giving to much stuff away to people who felt they were entitled. Good luck In YOUR new restaurant, hope you can make it.-COLLAPSE
Seems like there are a lot more workers than owners commenting on this one.
I think what the original letter writer was asking for was more about being acknowledged, going to a restaurant or a bar "where everyone knows your name." The poster didn't say when they were going (yea, they are less likely to be recognized on a busy Friday night), how big the place is, and if they've been going once...+READ
Seems like there are a lot more workers than owners commenting on this one.
I think what the original letter writer was asking for was more about being acknowledged, going to a restaurant or a bar "where everyone knows your name." The poster didn't say when they were going (yea, they are less likely to be recognized on a busy Friday night), how big the place is, and if they've been going once a week for three months or three years.
While many places have customer recognition software, I'd guess a large number don't. RichardCrystal is right: the best way to build that recognition factor is to frequent the same server and also greet the host/ess and get to know him/her too.
Much of the rest of this is presumptious navel gazing (What is a generous tip? When is free free? We really hate some of our regulars).
A smart owner should know their regulars because they are their bread and butter and pays his/her rent- and it dosen't matter if you're running a McDonalds or the best place in town.
I happen to be fairly familiar with both kinds of places in the city I'm from and at both ends they'll tell you that keeping regulars happy and coming back (and creating new regulars) is what keeps them in business. Yes, I'd define someone that comes into my place 40 times a year to be a regular, especially if they've been doing it for a few years, even it they always come in at my peak times.
It's true that when customers begin to expect a freebee it is no longer a special treat. But if a starch or a amuse bouche or a taste of an experimental dish or a lemoncello is what it takes to make them feel special and if they are in fact a good customer (and tipper, lets give the poster the benefit of the doubt), particularly when you're not busy, it's a cheap way to make a good customer happy, and making customers happy (and making money) is what it should be all about.-COLLAPSE
no. every customer needs to be serve well but no special treatment. If he is a regular then he knew the rule.
We have a few of the nicer restaurants in town where I would say we are treated as "regulars," even though we may only eat there every other month.
I think it's because we have developed a relationship with the staff -- WE remember THEIR names, chat and joke with them, ask them questions (how are your dogs/kids/how's the studying for the sommelier exam coming?) We show a sincere interest in the...+READ
We have a few of the nicer restaurants in town where I would say we are treated as "regulars," even though we may only eat there every other month.
I think it's because we have developed a relationship with the staff -- WE remember THEIR names, chat and joke with them, ask them questions (how are your dogs/kids/how's the studying for the sommelier exam coming?) We show a sincere interest in the menu, asking the servers for their recommendations, and true enjoyment in the food and the dining experience. And I think we tip pretty well, 20 percent and sometimes more.
As for what we get as "regulars?" Sometimes we're able to get a table when we otherwise wouldn't. Occasionally we get a sample of something new the kitchen is trying or a taste of an appetizer we expressed interest in but decided to go with something else. But we never expect these things, they're always an unexpected treat. Mostly we just get a more enjoyable experience, with some fun and interesting conversations, behind-the-scenes insights, recommendations from servers who have grown to know our tastes and preferences, occasionally the chef coming by to say hello.-COLLAPSE
My favorite place is a joint with a menu slightly more expensive than we normally partake of, but they also have a wicked, extensive, and imaginative cocktail list. We go there, in groups of 4-8 people, pretty frequently. We don't eat there most of the time, but come in for drinks post-meal. We are definitely regulars, and the "special service" we receive is so simple (and I know it isn't limited...+READ
My favorite place is a joint with a menu slightly more expensive than we normally partake of, but they also have a wicked, extensive, and imaginative cocktail list. We go there, in groups of 4-8 people, pretty frequently. We don't eat there most of the time, but come in for drinks post-meal. We are definitely regulars, and the "special service" we receive is so simple (and I know it isn't limited to us): the owner, the hostess, the bartenders, and the staff always greet us warmly and engage in a bit of chit-chat. They remember us, they remember the basics of what we like, and they always let us sit in the dining area, even when we don't eat, so we don't have to squeeze our gaggle into the tiny bar. The payoff is that we always choose to go there over other places, not just because the drinks are so good, but because we like to pop in to say hello to the staff. Their kindness and warmth is the best "freebie" to me, and we always marvel at how other places haven't yet caught on to this simple trick. This is the essence of hospitality, no?-COLLAPSE
Wow, I so totally hate when servers ask me if I want the usual, especially if I'm with someone. What if I don't want the other person to know what my usual is? Please don't recognize me as a regular!!
I'm in with jspear. I have had horrible experiences at restaurants when the waiters were giving special treatment to their regulars. I have sat and fumed because every bit of service to me was excruciatingly slow. And I never ever go back to a place like that.
I want waiters to treat every one the same whether they go there often, no matter what they are wearing, whether they order big or...+READ
I'm in with jspear. I have had horrible experiences at restaurants when the waiters were giving special treatment to their regulars. I have sat and fumed because every bit of service to me was excruciatingly slow. And I never ever go back to a place like that.
I want waiters to treat every one the same whether they go there often, no matter what they are wearing, whether they order big or small, no matter what they look like. I want professional service.-COLLAPSE
No, I dont expect any special treatment at places I am a regular.
If they remember my first name when I come in the door is enough for me.
No No No.....I have had terrible experiences in restos that give this special treatment. As a newbe, my money and my time are as worthwhile as yours. I took the time to come in, I thought I would like the resto I should be afforded EVERY benefit offered and you, as a regular, deserve no special treatment other than already knowing your name.....
In my opinion, it really depends on the restaurant.
For example, my neighbourhood is severely lacking in choices for takeout or delivery, and the only thing I've found is some decent Chinese food that's very low-priced. Given that I order from them often twice a week, the staff is very friendly and accommodating with me. They know me from my voice on the phone so they don't have to ask for my...+READ
In my opinion, it really depends on the restaurant.
For example, my neighbourhood is severely lacking in choices for takeout or delivery, and the only thing I've found is some decent Chinese food that's very low-priced. Given that I order from them often twice a week, the staff is very friendly and accommodating with me. They know me from my voice on the phone so they don't have to ask for my phone number and address when I call for delivery, and they always smile and greet me when I come in for takeout. They won't, however, make substitutions or give me free stuff, which I'm perfectly fine with, given how cheap their dishes are; I just don't think it would be financially viable for them to do that.
On the other hand, I do expect and appreciate a little more from the midrange restaurants I frequent. Generally, I've found as a regular that at the very least, I get a warm welcome and personal welcome from the staff, which alone is nice since it starts the meal off on the right foot. Some places give me preferred seating, which I really appreciate, and others the occasional free food item (especially when the chef is trying something new in the kitchen). These little perks definitely aren't necessary, but they do really make the place stand out in my mind and I feel compelled to visit even more frequently, and bring my friends along, too.-COLLAPSE
motomouth...you sound precisely like the sort of guest that service staff wish would eat at home more often. Sure I maintain a nice group of regulars...but where do you get off expecting anything for free when oftentimes,,,,staff don't get anything for free?
chefbeth ~
What a GREAT story! There are so few people out there that tell it like it is to people who need to hear it and in such an endearing way. I commend your straight forward tact.
3 times a month isn't really that frequent, especially if you only go on Friday or Saturday nights at peak hours. These are the busiest times and most of the staff are probably struggling to remember their own names, much less yours. Your best bet to be remembered is to go often on an off night or an off time when the staff is bored and more likely to feel chatty.
Like many others have said,...+READ
3 times a month isn't really that frequent, especially if you only go on Friday or Saturday nights at peak hours. These are the busiest times and most of the staff are probably struggling to remember their own names, much less yours. Your best bet to be remembered is to go often on an off night or an off time when the staff is bored and more likely to feel chatty.
Like many others have said, don't expect "Freebies". At a chain restaruant, giving things away probably against corporate policy and a cause for termination. It's more likely to happen at a local place, but even then it's a rare occurance.
About half the time a "Freebie" is really the manager or the chef using you as a personal guinea pig for a new special or product. They figure that, as a regular, you're less likely to never come back if the new item is less than spectacular. Or they're using you as an appreciative garbage disposal for something that would otherwise go bad - they know you love cheesecake and they've got a whole one that they'll have to toss out tomorrow, so they might as well give it to you.
A restaurant is a business - the owners and managers walk a fine line between trying to keep repeat customers happy and keeping an eye on the bottom line.-COLLAPSE
A poster above mentioned that sometimes a customer thinks they're being nice, but the staff considers them to be a nightmare. This reminds me of one particular couple who were regulars. I got along with them just fine, but my waitstaff couldn't stand them. They came in often, tipped okay, but had a particularly biting sense of humor and were always asking for free stuff. Now, I knew they were...+READ
A poster above mentioned that sometimes a customer thinks they're being nice, but the staff considers them to be a nightmare. This reminds me of one particular couple who were regulars. I got along with them just fine, but my waitstaff couldn't stand them. They came in often, tipped okay, but had a particularly biting sense of humor and were always asking for free stuff. Now, I knew they were kidding and there was no real sense of entitlement -- but my staff couldn't stand it.
So a few years back on a busy Friday they came in -- I could tell because the staff started bitching about them in the kitchen. So I took myself off line and waited on them myself. Their reaction was "Oh, we get the Chef tonight! Aren't we important?" So I did the specials recitation, got their drinks, took their order and went back on the line until their food was done, delivered their orders and so forth. When it was time to present the check, the husband said "So what did we do to deserve such special treatment?" And I told them that no one else wanted to wait on them. That rocked them, I'll tell you. Then I explained that although I thought they were absolutely funny and charming, that maybe they needed to tone down some of their more biting humor until they got to know the staff a little better. And that if that didn't work out, then I'd be happy to take care of them myself because I appreciated their business and their wackiness.
Five or six years later, they still come in twice a week. Everyone knows them now and they can say anything they want because, well, they're like family.-COLLAPSE
Should a regular get special treatment? Yes. Period. That means if I go someplace to decent to dine and/or drink and spend my money on a regular basis, it should somehow be recognized. If they're smart.
A knowing nod and a smile, an occasional free dessert or drink, a bending of hard and fast menu rules, a little extra effort to give you a table - these are the things that the people on this...+READ
Should a regular get special treatment? Yes. Period. That means if I go someplace to decent to dine and/or drink and spend my money on a regular basis, it should somehow be recognized. If they're smart.
A knowing nod and a smile, an occasional free dessert or drink, a bending of hard and fast menu rules, a little extra effort to give you a table - these are the things that the people on this board, who spend lots of money on dining, love food and love to talk about it, are likely to mention to other potential customers. The art of maintaining regulars is fundamental to the success of any restaurant and at the very core to what the word "service" means all over the world.
There's always another restaurant, and I could always cook myself a meal.-COLLAPSE
I recall getting special treatment at a little family-run mid-Eastern place in Lexington KY. Two of the daughters became good friends of mine. Somewhere between 'regular' and 'friend' came Ramadan. I'd stop by and they'd line up the samples--they could cook, but as long as the sun was up, they weren't going to taste it. I've never enjoyed being agnostic so much!
The original question was, should regulars get special treatment. I'm a "regular" at several restaurants. Do I get special treatment, sometimes. It is not uncommon for the owner to bring me "something special" to try, or send over a glass of wine, etc. On the other hand, I never expect such treatment, and I certainly wouldn't feel that I am entitled to it.
It has been over 30 years since I...+READ
The original question was, should regulars get special treatment. I'm a "regular" at several restaurants. Do I get special treatment, sometimes. It is not uncommon for the owner to bring me "something special" to try, or send over a glass of wine, etc. On the other hand, I never expect such treatment, and I certainly wouldn't feel that I am entitled to it.
It has been over 30 years since I worked as a waiter, but I always tried to remember what the regulars liked, and some of them did get special treatment from me, not because they expected it, but because I liked them and wanted to ensure that they had an enjoyable experience at "their favorite place."
But as a server, you should try to make sure that every patron, whether a regular or a first time walk in has an enjoyable experience. Nothing will hurt a restaurant worse than a word of mouth derived reputation for poor food or service.-COLLAPSE
If you expect to be treated like royalty just for frequenting a place often, well, I sure wouldn't. It's nice when it happens, but I don't expect it. You may want to try a different place that's known for favoring regular customers, they're out there.
As a lifer in the Biz, If I don't remember my regular ( or semi regs ) I wouldn't make many tips. If you are not decent to me I will remember you but that doesn't mean that I will automaticaly bring things to you or let you jump the line.
Treat me right and you would be suprised at what may happen ( within reason of course ) ..... maybe you are not as nice as you feel you are?
Customers sometimes think they are nice and the reality is that they are nightmares to the kitchen and the staff equally.
I used to wait on a couple just like you they thought that because they tipped and came in 3 times a week, they were being nice, yet the wife was a nightmare when it came to ordering was super finnicky and the husband quite often returned the bottle of wine with a different...+READ
Customers sometimes think they are nice and the reality is that they are nightmares to the kitchen and the staff equally.
I used to wait on a couple just like you they thought that because they tipped and came in 3 times a week, they were being nice, yet the wife was a nightmare when it came to ordering was super finnicky and the husband quite often returned the bottle of wine with a different excuse.
As waitstaff we try to remember what you get, but you may not be in the mood for the same thing? We are not allowed to give freebies as that is considered stealing. There are regulars that are considered regular nightmares.-COLLAPSE
OK, I promised to shut up, so I break my promise. There is a restaurant on the Upper West Side of New York City, on Broadway called the Manhattan Diner. I get to New York maybe 4 times a year, tops. I usually stay at "On The Avenue" across the street. The last time we were there one of the waiters who had previously served us, came up to seat us and greeted us by our names!! We hadn't been there...+READ
OK, I promised to shut up, so I break my promise. There is a restaurant on the Upper West Side of New York City, on Broadway called the Manhattan Diner. I get to New York maybe 4 times a year, tops. I usually stay at "On The Avenue" across the street. The last time we were there one of the waiters who had previously served us, came up to seat us and greeted us by our names!! We hadn't been there in about 3 or 4 months! Needless to say I was most impressed.-COLLAPSE
Maybe it is because I grew up in a very small town and continue to live in a "smaller" (I'm guessing by the places this site covers, most readers are from very large areas) city, but I personally don't "expect" anything other than great service and friendly people from the places I frequent. I know that I could go to my favorite place back home, which I haven't eaten in since 2005/6 and the owner...+READ
Maybe it is because I grew up in a very small town and continue to live in a "smaller" (I'm guessing by the places this site covers, most readers are from very large areas) city, but I personally don't "expect" anything other than great service and friendly people from the places I frequent. I know that I could go to my favorite place back home, which I haven't eaten in since 2005/6 and the owner would still know exactly what I want, who I was, etc. Here, in our larger city, the places we frequent know who we are, what we like, etc. In fact, I can't think of any place that we frequent that doesn't do just that, I make a choice not to eat at places more than twice that don't remember things. Again, I think it has to do with where we live and the type of people in this area. It is probably a 50/50 break down of the places we eat that even have any of the software previously mentioned. But, I think that it really is about where you are, what you are eating, and how you treat others. I personally wouldn't expect to live in New York and get great service just for being a repeat customer, but here in Jackson, well, it is just a way of life.-COLLAPSE
Just one more thing and then I'll shut up. Don't EXPECT and you won't be disappointed.
Server/owners/hosts should at least recognize and acknowledge regulars. Regulars should not expect freebies or for the servers to remember their every quirk or desire. This is, in the end, a business relationship.
The best business relationship in this case is one where you are friendly and courteous, and each gets what they want - diners get good, friendly service and the restaurant gets...+READ
Server/owners/hosts should at least recognize and acknowledge regulars. Regulars should not expect freebies or for the servers to remember their every quirk or desire. This is, in the end, a business relationship.
The best business relationship in this case is one where you are friendly and courteous, and each gets what they want - diners get good, friendly service and the restaurant gets business.-COLLAPSE
Because You've eaten at a restaurant a number of times before, you're not treated like a big-time movie star? Free this, free that?
Oh, the horror!
Seems we're all in agreement on this one--treat them like people, and they may well respond in kind!
I'm terrible at remembering names, but often recall other things and so will ask something like "so did you get your mom the plant you were thinking about last time we were in?" or the like. I don't plot this--it just happens... if I'm not careful and do it too many times, people get embarrassed;...+READ
Seems we're all in agreement on this one--treat them like people, and they may well respond in kind!
I'm terrible at remembering names, but often recall other things and so will ask something like "so did you get your mom the plant you were thinking about last time we were in?" or the like. I don't plot this--it just happens... if I'm not careful and do it too many times, people get embarrassed; aim for middle ground, where your recall is obvious but doesn't seem pathological. You could probably roll your eyeballs in mock boredom when your partner asks for bubbly water and say "Again! For the 99th time. Do you have any more predictable diners than us? Same wine, same water, same blah blah blah". Order the stuff by name, same as usual, but since you've already clearly remembered something about them, they might start trying to notice, and after a few more visits might remember some of it.
Otherwise, you'll just have to enjoy chats with charming strangers (the waitstaff) and hope they enjoy the same (with you) each time you go in. There are worse things.-COLLAPSE
Yeah, as a server I have nothing else to do but memorize your personality traits. Sorry, but that's just not always reasonable. When you're busy, it's a lot harder to commit things to memory.
Also, what's a generous tip? I can think of one couple that comes in all the time (2-3 times a week) and tip right under 15% each time. I can tell they think they're being generous because they hand the tip...+READ
Yeah, as a server I have nothing else to do but memorize your personality traits. Sorry, but that's just not always reasonable. When you're busy, it's a lot harder to commit things to memory.
Also, what's a generous tip? I can think of one couple that comes in all the time (2-3 times a week) and tip right under 15% each time. I can tell they think they're being generous because they hand the tip directly to the server and linger afterwards.
Also, a lot of this can be up to management. They set the tone of the place. Where I work, I've never heard of a regular getting something for free for no good reason. But, management encourages us to let them know a regular is in the house so they can go over and talk to them. So, I wouldn't bother attempting to send over a glass of wine when I know it's not something we do.-COLLAPSE
You expect to be rewarded for being a loyal patron. Do you intend to reward them for being a place worthy of being a loyal patron of? Do you occasionally drop by and give the host $20 and say "we're not going to dine here tonight, but we wanted to say how pleased we are that you're here and also that you're doing a fine job"?
If you make reservations, you wouldn't have to wait with other...+READ
You expect to be rewarded for being a loyal patron. Do you intend to reward them for being a place worthy of being a loyal patron of? Do you occasionally drop by and give the host $20 and say "we're not going to dine here tonight, but we wanted to say how pleased we are that you're here and also that you're doing a fine job"?
If you make reservations, you wouldn't have to wait with other walk-ins.
lanersg is spot on. Shelve the self-entitlement. They give you a great meal that you continue to return for. For this you pay them an amount you seem to think is reasonable. That's the end of it.-COLLAPSE
You shouldn't wait for the staff to remember you. Show some interest in them: if you like your wait person, ask their name, and next time you reserve, ask for their section. Likewise, learn the names of the host/hostess or the manager. Greet them by name. Yes, they're supposed to be the ones that remember you, but they are often so rushed that unless you do something to establish yourself in...+READ
You shouldn't wait for the staff to remember you. Show some interest in them: if you like your wait person, ask their name, and next time you reserve, ask for their section. Likewise, learn the names of the host/hostess or the manager. Greet them by name. Yes, they're supposed to be the ones that remember you, but they are often so rushed that unless you do something to establish yourself in their minds, you're just another customer. This all goes beyond tipping: it's courtesy, and curiosity. A server will prefer a kind customer who treats them like an actual human being over a high-tipping jerk every time.
We have a local restaurant (one step above a diner) where we go every Saturday. We know the owner and all the waitresses, and when someone new joins the staff, we introduce ourselves. We get wonderful service and the ladies are always happy to see us. That makes our meal even more special.-COLLAPSE
I really don't understand this sense of entitlement or people "deserving" things from a restaurant. I go to the local Walgreens down the street at least 3 times a week and don't expect anything special from them, why is it different in a restaurant? I'm not a fan of people asking for comps either. If they are offered, graciously accept or decline, do not ever, ever ask.
On a much more pedestrian level, there is an Italian restaurant that my partner and I frequent, usually with another couple several times a month. We always request the same waitress. Over the years she has come to know our likes, our dislikes and brings us wine or beverages before we ask. To me, attentiveness means more than anything else as far as waitstaff goes in any restaurant. We leave a...+READ
On a much more pedestrian level, there is an Italian restaurant that my partner and I frequent, usually with another couple several times a month. We always request the same waitress. Over the years she has come to know our likes, our dislikes and brings us wine or beverages before we ask. To me, attentiveness means more than anything else as far as waitstaff goes in any restaurant. We leave a ridiculously exorbitant tip which of course expalins the wonderfu service. But yuyu hit the nail right on the head. Respect the waitstaff and what hey do and everyone will be happier. Gee, sounds like the Golden Rule, doesn't it??-COLLAPSE
I have to say that as a restaurant employee, our recognition of your preferences depends very much how you as a customer choose to treat us as service staff. If you come into a restaurant expectant of receiving special servce, and act accordingly, there is a very high liklihood that even if we do remember your quirks, we blatently choose to ignore them nevertheless. Oftentimes a large tip does...+READ
I have to say that as a restaurant employee, our recognition of your preferences depends very much how you as a customer choose to treat us as service staff. If you come into a restaurant expectant of receiving special servce, and act accordingly, there is a very high liklihood that even if we do remember your quirks, we blatently choose to ignore them nevertheless. Oftentimes a large tip does not substitute itself for a courteous manner. On the other hand, it just may very well be that the individuals of this retaurant are just not very good at building up regular clientele. Furthermore, I would suggest that while attending a restaurant three times a month is considered "regular" from your perspective, there are patrons who frequent establishments almost four times, if not daily and spend up to three figures every night. All depends....-COLLAPSE