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Chocolate Beers for Valentine's
Philadelphia Ready-to-Eat Cheesecake Filling
By: Kraft
Suggested Retail Price: $3.99 for a 24.3-ounce tub
QUESTION: Why is Kraft’s new dessert product called “Philadelphia Ready-to-Eat Cheesecake Filling”?
ANSWER: Because “Philadelphia Ready-to-Eat Tub of Mediocre Chocolate Pudding” wouldn’t have the same marketing punch.
The bright side of this alleged cheesecake product is that it requires no baking or time to set. The down side is that it doesn’t really taste like cheesecake. Yes, the air-whipped, puddinglike mass has a vaguely cream cheese–y note, even if the insipid Chocolate Dream flavor I sampled lacked any substantial cocoa punch. (It also comes in a plain flavor, a.k.a. Heavenly Classic.) But the beauty of a real cheesecake—one from Junior’s, for example—is that it has a certain weight to it. Both in the sense of physical heft and density, and in terms of multidimensional flavor. There’s a snap of lemon, for instance, or a beautifully browned and crumbly crust. The texture of the filling is hardly that of whipped foam; you can actually cut a slice.
But it’s hard to deny the marketing appeal of a product like Chocolate Dream Ready-to-Eat Cheesecake Filling: On the side of the package, the message is “Open tub, spread contents, and WHAM: cheesecake!” (Directions not quoted verbatim.) But we all know what we’ll actually do: Open tub, insert spoon, eat. It’s an alluringly naughty idea. However, what should be a guilty pleasure delivers none of the pleasure and all of the guilt.
Campbell’s Select Gold Label Soups
By: Campbell’s
Suggested Retail Price: $2.95 for an 18.3-ounce carton
Until the tragic and seemingly inexorable progression of global warming makes winter a thing of the past, it’ll remain the finest of all seasons for soup. At least in this part of the world, Campbell’s is the default option: Despite its insistent saltiness, it offers familiar flavors paired with a painstakingly cultivated wholesome and traditional image that makes it an obvious choice when the mercury drops below freezing. But as consumers grow increasingly sophisticated, Andy Warhol and “what Mom used to heat up on the stovetop” won’t build the brand. In an effort to break into new markets—and to appeal to those for whom Campbell’s means mediocre canned chicken noodle soup—the food giant has introduced its Select line, with six soups named “Gold Label” to indicate extra-luxurious offerings.
Are they extra-luxurious? I tried the Golden Butternut Squash and the new Creamy Tomato Parmesan Bisque flavors. Both were mild (slightly undersalted, as opposed to the typical oversalted Campbell’s offering), pleasurably smooth, and reasonably decent approximations of the made-from-scratch soups they’re impersonating. The first five ingredients of the butternut squash variety are butternut squash, water, potatoes, carrots, and cream. Contrast this with the top five ingredients of classic Campbell’s chicken noodle soup: chicken stock, enriched egg noodles (which include niacin, ferrous sulfate, mononitrate, and riboflavin), cooked chicken meat, water, and salt. And three ingredients later, you get monosodium glutamate, in contrast to the Gold Label, which has none.
If there’s anything to fault these soups on—and though they’re respectable efforts, they’re not exactly perfect—it’s that they’ve got a thick consistency almost more like dip. Paired with good bread, they’re a treat, but by themselves they can quickly become monotonous. Salt, pepper, and a little grated ginger (or nutmeg in the case of the squash) can considerably brighten them—unlike most ready-made products, their relatively high level of quality makes them worth doctoring.
So far, Campbell’s plan for upscale soups is only about 50 percent implemented, but it’s gratifying to know that this reliable, iconically American food behemoth is working on something ambitious.
I think it's kind of funny that Campbell's is only just getting on the higher-end soup train in the US. When I was in France three years ago, I was astonished at how good their PurSoup' line was. It had a staggering variety of vegetable soup flavors, tasted great, and had no weirdo ingredients (though that probably had more to do with European food laws).
My favorite was winter squash and...+READ
I think it's kind of funny that Campbell's is only just getting on the higher-end soup train in the US. When I was in France three years ago, I was astonished at how good their PurSoup' line was. It had a staggering variety of vegetable soup flavors, tasted great, and had no weirdo ingredients (though that probably had more to do with European food laws).
My favorite was winter squash and chestnut... try finding that in the States.-COLLAPSE
I sampled the plain cheesecake filling at the supermarket. I wouldnt serve it to dinner guests, but it was adequately cheesecake-y and hit the spot, for what it is. The chocolate didn't appeal to me enough to taste (I don't like chocolate cheesecake). Its ease of use does seem dangerous for the midnight fridge-raiding types. Sort of like cookie dough. I wouldn't buy it myself, but it's the kind...+READ
I sampled the plain cheesecake filling at the supermarket. I wouldnt serve it to dinner guests, but it was adequately cheesecake-y and hit the spot, for what it is. The chocolate didn't appeal to me enough to taste (I don't like chocolate cheesecake). Its ease of use does seem dangerous for the midnight fridge-raiding types. Sort of like cookie dough. I wouldn't buy it myself, but it's the kind of thing I'd be happy to find in my mom's fridge.
And making a cheesecake doesn't burn any calories, either, unless you're beating the mix by hand. And if the filling is that whipped and airy, it may be less caloric, by volume.-COLLAPSE
No one should eat cheesecake filling out of the tub. No one. Disgusting.
At least in making a real cheesecake you brun some sort of calories as you go. Minimal, but some.
Then again, I imagine the type of person lazy enough to buy pre made cheesecake filling and then eat it right out of the tub is not interested in health abnd never worried much about burning a calorie. This kind of person...+READ
No one should eat cheesecake filling out of the tub. No one. Disgusting.
At least in making a real cheesecake you brun some sort of calories as you go. Minimal, but some.
Then again, I imagine the type of person lazy enough to buy pre made cheesecake filling and then eat it right out of the tub is not interested in health abnd never worried much about burning a calorie. This kind of person prpbnaly has a fake handicapped sign so they can park right in front of the store to go get their "chub tub".-COLLAPSE
I'm disappointed to hear that the cheesecake filling is lousy. Could a bit of doctoring--stirring in a bit of freshly grated lemon or orange zest or an extra teaspoon of vanilla extract--help them?
I agree with your review of the Campbell's Gold Label soups, though. I love the Butternut Squash and Southwestern Corn flavors, but I found the Tomato Parmesan to be cloyingly sweet. I think they're...+READ
I'm disappointed to hear that the cheesecake filling is lousy. Could a bit of doctoring--stirring in a bit of freshly grated lemon or orange zest or an extra teaspoon of vanilla extract--help them?
I agree with your review of the Campbell's Gold Label soups, though. I love the Butternut Squash and Southwestern Corn flavors, but I found the Tomato Parmesan to be cloyingly sweet. I think they're really thick, too, but what I do is add a bit of water or chicken stock (if I have an open carton in the fridge) to the carton, swish the liquid around to get all the soup that's stuck to the sides, then add the liquid to the soup. Voila--soup you don't need to eat with a fork!-COLLAPSE
"Campbell’s chicken noodle soup: chicken stock, enriched egg noodles (which include niacin, ferrous sulfate, mononitrate, and riboflavin)"
This is what enriching a pasta involves. Niacin, ferrous sulfate, mononitrate, and riboflavin are to the best of my knowledge mineral and vitamin additives.