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How to Keep Guests
Out of the Kitchen
And understand why they’re
in there to begin with
You’ve seen it before: party guests crammed into a tiny, hot kitchen while the living room sits cool and empty. It’s frustrating for the host, particularly around the holidays, when he or she is trying to finish preparing an elaborate dinner. But before you can figure out how to get people out of the kitchen, you have to understand the reasons they head there in the first place. CHOW talked to sociologists who’ve studied people’s relationship with food and cooking to find out why people hover in the kitchen, and how one might make them leave.
They Just Want to Be with You
The only person at the party whom everybody knows is you. “The host is the node, and the reason everybody’s together,” says Emilie Hardman, a sociology PhD candidate and food blogger. They feel most comfortable with you, and you’re in the kitchen.
Solution: Make guests feel comfortable somewhere else. When they arrive, sit down with them in the living room first, bring them their drinks there, and introduce them to others. Better yet, get a friend to play surrogate host in the living room, while you sneak back to the kitchen. Like parents who put their baby down before leaving him with the sitter, your guests won’t notice your absence if you ease them into the less familiar social situation.
The Food and Drinks Are in There
The place of food preparation is “easily associated with feelings of warmth, assurance, and happy memories,” says Barbara Watson, a retired sociology professor. Good smells are coming out of there, guests want to help with the work, and they typically see the host “bring people into the kitchen to get drinks.” Says Hardman, “People end up staying with their drink, because it’s a place that the host will come back with each new guest,” making it an “active place to be with good oversight of all the people attending the gathering.”
Solution: Put snacks in other parts of the house. Ask your guests to help lay out the food, so they feel they’re assisting you. Set up a bar in another room, and don’t forget the cocktail shaker: A guest who has bartending experience will usually come out of the woodwork and begin mixing drinks. The alluring sound of ice being knocked back and forth will draw guests from other parts of the house. Also, stick beers in a cooler full of ice, rather than in the fridge.
The Kitchen Feels Warm and Fun
The kitchen is a comfortable space in which to relax, whereas the living room and dining room of a house are often more formal, says sociologist Joan I. Biddle.
Solution: Make your living room alluring. Install a dimmer switch for your overhead light, or use candles or small colored lamps to create sexy lighting. Make sure there are enough spots for people to sit down. Don’t roll up the rugs because you’re afraid they’ll get wine spilled on them. Put lounge-friendly music on the stereo. Discourage people from turning on the TV to watch the football game, as this will alienate half your guests. Worry less about flower decorations and Nativity scenes on the mantel, and more about serving well-made cocktails to your friends in this room. If it’s drafty, set up a space heater or light a fire.
I agree that people want to help with the work... in this day and age (think reality tv) it's almost like a free cooking show right in front of their very eyes. I learned from a bad experience long ago that if you're a chef making dinner you have to be nice and let your guest help-even if it means they may have slightly imperfect work. In the end no one will starve.
I' with you... we knocked out...+READ
I agree that people want to help with the work... in this day and age (think reality tv) it's almost like a free cooking show right in front of their very eyes. I learned from a bad experience long ago that if you're a chef making dinner you have to be nice and let your guest help-even if it means they may have slightly imperfect work. In the end no one will starve.
I' with you... we knocked out walls and put in an island with raised countertops to allow seated kitchen views and not be isolated from the rest of the crowd. If you can't beat 'em join 'em.-COLLAPSE
Our house had a small dark kitchen. Our solution was to knock down a wall and expand the kitchen to include all of our friends and family. We included two couches! Now people can come in, sit back and relax while still being in the kitchen.
We have an old house with a big front parlor. The kitchen is small and not well arranged to have lots of people. In the summer I just move them out onto the deck and into the garden, but in the winter it's a little trickier. I usually make things ahead so I can join them in the front of the house and get them comfortable. My pet peeve, however, is guests who won't let you clear up w/o helping....+READ
We have an old house with a big front parlor. The kitchen is small and not well arranged to have lots of people. In the summer I just move them out onto the deck and into the garden, but in the winter it's a little trickier. I usually make things ahead so I can join them in the front of the house and get them comfortable. My pet peeve, however, is guests who won't let you clear up w/o helping. I'd just as soon do that myself or recruit my husband, but some people just won't let that happen.-COLLAPSE
I inherited a wooden plate from my grandma that hung in her kitchen as far back as I can remember--it looks like 40s/50s vintage. It says "No matter where I serve my guests, it seems they like my kitchen best".
It hangs in my kitchen now and so do MY guests! I don't have any problem with it--if I need them to be out of the way, I just shoo them out.
I think these tips are probably effective, but I'm with Akitist, if I invite people over I usually want them in my space, because I've invited them over to see them. The exception for me though would be over the holidays when you sometimes wind up with parties that already don't fit in your space, with older relatives who you can't easily ask to help while they're standing between you and the...+READ
I think these tips are probably effective, but I'm with Akitist, if I invite people over I usually want them in my space, because I've invited them over to see them. The exception for me though would be over the holidays when you sometimes wind up with parties that already don't fit in your space, with older relatives who you can't easily ask to help while they're standing between you and the stove, and also when you probably have less of a choice in who's getting invited... then I think seeking a little solace in your kitchen is really perfectly easonable.-COLLAPSE
Thanks for this. I thought I was the only one who didn't want guests in the kitchen.
hahahahah awesome link chuckles... the girl in red singing the back vocals is my favorite... it seems like she drunk all the alcohol of the party!
Ample seating in the living, and also be sure it's appropriately arranged. I noticed this weekend that no one likes to sit near the corner of a sectional. Half a huge sofa empty, and folks standing around. Next time, I'll break it up.
I like to play this, over and over, on the kitchen cd player:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJ4-IY8Iqy0
Guests congregating in the kitchen - since I'm usually the cook - is one of my BIGGEST pet peeves, and even if I bluntly insist on them moving to the living room, they usually slowly migrate back as the evening progresses. These tips will hopefully be invaluable.
The socializing is central, not the food. If you're making the meal more important than the guests your priorities are scrambled.
If you can't handle the guests and the meal, you should consider simplifying or getting help. Hint: if guests are in the kitchen already they are candidates. "Hey, there's only room in here for people actively engaged in prep. If you're not helping, you're in the...+READ
The socializing is central, not the food. If you're making the meal more important than the guests your priorities are scrambled.
If you can't handle the guests and the meal, you should consider simplifying or getting help. Hint: if guests are in the kitchen already they are candidates. "Hey, there's only room in here for people actively engaged in prep. If you're not helping, you're in the way."-COLLAPSE
good tips!! i'll try them next time....
that looks like Aida Mollencamp in those pictures